The Secret Diary of Cotton's Parrot

Day 1: Left stupid pirate island. Stupid pirate asked me stupid questions. I AM NOT MERELY A PARROT! I have plans to take over this ship.evil plans.yes.

Day 2: There was a stupid storm and my feathers got messed up. Pfft. I think I will put my evil action into plan soon since that kid is going as insane as I am.really. I just haven't unleased my great *power*. Dammit. I'm starting to sound like that stupid pirate that says *captain*.

Day 3: Stupid evil plans didn't work out when I accidentally was pummeled by the kid when he was running away from the people with the towels.now I'm in extreme pain.I wonder if Anamaria realizes the stupid pirate and the kid are gone. That gives me an idea.

Later that day.: Well, at least I tried. I was about to scratch Anamaria's eyes out and then steer the ship to the nearest bird estuary, but she moved her head when she realized the stupid pirate and the kid were gone.damn.

Day 4: Am stuck saying stupid things or else Cotton will not feed me. The new stupid captain is getting really tipsy looking. And the stupid crew is not doing anything. I should probably put my new evil plan into action. Yet, somehow it does not interest me. Is it just me, or am I acting a little schizophrenic? I think it's just me.which would be the case anyway since if I was schizophrenic then it would be me. And it would be me talking to me. But I don't know if I am.stupidness.

Day 5: Was bored so I decided to seduce the stupid hot chick. Then realized that I was a parrot.and then I realized we were being ambushed. And the next thing I realized that I was in a jail cell with some stupid smelly people. Who the HELL puts a parrot in a jail cell?

Day 6: We got free 'cause the hot chick let us out. Am noticing now that her mouth moves funny when she talks.I caught myself talking to myself again today.but then I realized that everyone thought I was saying something else. Can't quite remember what, but I'm quite sure it was stupid. Anyways, I got to see lots of stupid people fight with stupid swords and get killed. YAY!

Day 7: When we finally got rid of the stupid pirate, the kid, and the hot chick I decided that it was time for me to ACTUALLY take over the ship. But then Anamaria decided to go to Port Royal.stupid. So then I decided to crap on someone instead.at least I ruined something. Unfortunately that meant the stupid pirate got to come back on the ship with us. How inconsiderate.I betcha you thought I was gonna say stupid..huh? WELL I HAVE A BETTER STUPID VOCABULARY THEN THAT.dammit I said stupid again.ok, will shut up now.*stupid*