Category: Carby

Rating: PG

Spoilers: None … I think.

Summary: Someone has to learn how to say "I love you" … - Carby fuzz! ; )

Disclaimer: I don't own anything … ; )

Feedback: Sure, I'd love to know what you think! nette_mails@yahoo.de or use the review button. ; )

Author's notes: In the end.

„How To Say I Love You"

I love to look at her. I could do it forever. I'd be happy to do just that for the rest of my life.

I could get lost in her beautiful brown eyes, her slightly curly brown hair, her soft skin ... she's just perfect.

The way she smiles, the way she laughs. The way she just looks back at me. Everything about her is just how it should be.

It pains me to think that almost I never had her, that almost I wouldn't be holding her right now. I would have missed out on something truly fantastic.

But I push that thought aside. Because I do have her. Right here, right in front of me, in my arms, smiling a gorgeous smile. And that makes me the happiest man on earth. She makes me the happiest man on earth.

„I love you," I say to her and kiss the top of her nose.

She giggles and the smile on my face turns into a – probably goofy – grin. She grins with me, but no response.

I wish she would answer me, I wish she could.

I know she loves me. She shows me with every move she makes, but to hear it from her, to hear her voice say these words would mean so much more to me.

„I love you," I say again, slowly this time, paying special attention to every single of these wonderful three little words, making sure she hears me, hears all of them.

But still, no answer from her.

I wonder how much longer it will take before she can say them to me. These words that are so little but mean so much.

A few weeks? A few months? It can't be much longer. I'm sure she'll say it soon. I hope she'll say it soon. I can hardly wait for that moment to come.

Maybe she'll say it sooner if I tell her more often.

What I tell her is the truth, because I know she's the love of my life. Actually – her and the woman living with me. I have to smile when I think of her. I never want to live without them again.

„I love you," I say to her another time.

If we weren't alone I'd begin to feel stupid. But we are, so I can say it to her as often as I want to. Nobody will laugh at me. It's just her and me – at least I thought so.

„John, what on earth are you doing there?"

I jump a little and turn around. She startled me. I didn't think she'd be at home that early.

But there she stands, leaning against the doorframe, between the kitchen and the living room, watching us, giving me a look.

I feel a little embarrassed that Abby caught us, but only a little.

She wiggles in my arms at her mother's sight.

„Abby, you're at home already?" I ask her surprised.

She laughs. „Well, obviously." She seems amused by what she just saw – and heard.

I smile at her and she smiles back at me.

„I mean, I didn't think you'd be here already," I say to her while she takes off her coat and her shoes. „I thought it'd take longer."

„Me, too," she says while she comes closer to us. „Not many people there, I didn't have to wait that long," she adds and wraps her arms around my neck when she finally reaches me.

I give her a big hug and kiss her soft lips gently. She was only gone for about an hour, but I already missed her. I'm glad she's back.

She gives our daughter a kiss as well, lovingly placed on her cheek. That makes her giggle again. I hand her over to her mother.

„I missed you," I say, my arm still around her shoulder.

„I missed you, too. The both of you."

„I missed the both of you, too," I say with a wink. „So, everything alright?" I ask her, my hand wandering from her shoulders down to her slightly protruding belly.

She covers my hand with one of hers. „Yes, everything is great. The doctor said it looks just perfect. Healthy baby on it's way," she announces happily and smiles.

I just smile back at her and bend down to kiss her cheek.

„So, what did you two do while I was away?" she asks with a grin.

I know she saw us ... she heard us.

„Oh, nothing interesting ... " I scratch the back of my head, embarrassed.

„You know, I'll get jealous if you tell her that you love her that often," she says with a smile, nudging my side gently with her elbow.

„Well, I wasn't really just telling her." Though I really do. I love them both of course. But how can I not love her? Our baby is a part of her and me. She looks so much like her mother. I hope she'll look exactly like her when she's older. And Abby ... I can't help but love her.

Abby looks at me, confused.

„Um ... isn't it bedtime for her?" I say, trying to change the subject.

Abby nods and we go to the nursery to put her to sleep.

„You can tell me on our way what exactly you were doing then," she says with a wink.

I knew it wouldn't work to distract her. But it was worth a try.

***

We're standing next to the crib now, watching her sleep. She looks like a little angel, so peaceful and innocent.

I tighten my embrace around Abby and sigh happily.

She looks up at me and smiles. „So?"

Wow, I really thought she forgot by now.

„You really want to know, huh?" I ask and smile down at her.

She just nods.

„Okay ... I wasn't just telling her that I love her. I was teaching her something."

She laughs at that. „What were you teaching her?"

„I was teaching her how to say I love you."

She smiles. „But she's just a few months old, she won't talk that soon. Besides, I want her to say Mommy first ... and then Daddy ... and then maybe I love you," she jokes.

I smile back at her.

„I know you're right, but you can't begin early enough. These three little words are so important. Our relationship taught me just how important they are and how important it is to say them if you feel it. I loved you since I first met you. But I was never brave enough to tell you. I don't know what I was afraid of."

She nods, obviously understanding what I mean. It was the same for her.

„There was a point where everything was about to fall apart. I thought I lost you. I thought I lost us, our relationship. The best thing that ever happened to me. Just because I couldn't tell you that I love you."

I lean down to kiss her.

„And I don't want that the same happens to our daughter. I want her to know how to say it. I want her to know the importance of these words. I want her to get used to hearing them. And I want her to be able to say them when she feels it. So she never risks to miss something wonderful in her life. I want her to be as happy as I am with you."

I can see tears gathering in Abby's eyes. It might just be because of all the hormones in her body, but I know she understands what I mean, I know she felt the same back then. We should have talked about our feelings sooner. I'm so glad that it all turned out good in the end.

She pulls away from me and takes a step towards the crib to bend down and kiss our daughter's forehead.

„I love you," she whispers into her ear.

I admire the sight. I love to see Abby with her. She's the perfect mother. She was always afraid that she'd mess things up. That she'd be a bad mother. That she was not meant to be a mother. She was almost not willing to try it. But I could convince her that it's worth a try. And it's wonderful to see just how wrong she was. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as the mother of my children.

And I know for sure, now she doesn't want to miss to be a mother either.

I smile when she comes back into my arms.

„And I love you, too," she says to me, resting her head on my chest.

„I love you, too," I say and kiss the top of her head. „And you, too," I add and let my hand wander over the side of her belly.

I'm so looking forward to her giving birth the second time. We don't know yet whether it will be a boy or a girl. But that doesn't really matter. It's our child and we'll love it.

I'm so grateful that she'll give us a second child.

„And you know what I'll teach her next time?" I ask her with a smile, pulling back slightly to look into her eyes.

„No, what?"

„Next time I'll teach her how to say thank you. It's almost as important as to say I love you."

She just smiles at me.

„I never thank you enough. Thank you for being with me, for being my wife, for being the mother of our daughter, the mother of our next child. I can never thank you enough for giving me this wonderful family, for your love. I know it was difficult for you. But I want to thank you for taking that risk."

A tear is running down her face now. I wipe it away with my thumb before she starts to speak.

„I have to thank you for so many things as well. I was always scared to take that risk. But you made me strong enough to take it. Thank you for your love, for your support, for wanting to be loved by me. For our children, for being a wonderful husband and father."

I pull her back into my arms and we hug each other tightly.

„I should let you be alone with her more often," she says after a while. „You're very clever and teach her a lot of important things."

I smile at her. She's just wonderful.

„I'd rather have you with us," I say with a grin.

I feel her tighten her embrace around me.

Not even two years ago I thought this would never happen, but now I am standing here with my little family.

We turn back towards the crib and admire our baby. She's the best proof for our love. And we'll always love her like we love each other, no matter what happens – and she'll always know it.

The End.

Author's notes: This is the result of a more or less difficult fanfic challenge. ; ) We talked about that Carter and Abby should learn how to say the three magic words on the One Can Only Hope board. So the tiny challenge was born. The rules were just that it had to be a Carby and the title had to be "How To Say I Love You". The title had to be in the fic and it had to have between 1,000 and 2,500 words.

I hope you liked it. ; )