"I-I'm not qu-quite sure this is a good place for a s-school…" stuttered Neville. "I… um… I mean… the children will have nightmares!"
"Oh Neville," chided Hermione, "It's really quite elementary! We'll simply have to put a spell on them that will take us back to when they died, and we shall arrange it so that we can put their souls to rest!"
"You can't do that, Hermione," Harry corrected, "Or else I'd long ago have brought my parents and Diggory back."
"We're not bringing them back to life, Harry!" Hermione tried to stay patient. "We're just going back to before they were ghosts. Then we'll fix it so that they're not ghosts. Then we'll live happily ever after."
"Ron to Hermione-Land, Ron to Hermione-Land, do you read me? One major problem with your happy little plan," Ron said. "First off, are you aware of the fact that you call yourself by the same name as that girl who spent the past four years harping at us about the dangers of time travel?! We're not talking about changing a little something that happened three hours ago! I mean, look at them!" He shot a distasteful glance at the two ghosts, still feeling the effects of Hermione's Petrificus Totalus. "By the way they're dressed, we'd have to be going back at least two hundred years, and if we got rid of them, chances are that this house won't even be for sale when we return to the present! Some old rustic will probably blow us off the property with a… a… whatchamacallit!"
"Gun," Harry affirmed. "We'll suddenly materialize in his kitchen, and he'll whip out the ol' huntin' rifle, and away we go!"
"Right," Ron said. "We can't tamper with something as big as a house that's been haunted for two hundred years!"
"Ronniekins, sweetheart," Hermione said as sweetly as possible, ignoring Ron's immediate disgust, "Remember? The ghost, the male one, said he'd already been 'to the devil and back.' That means that except for occasional trysts with the other damned out on the open moors, Wuthering Heights has remained largely unhaunted. Look here!" She quickly flipped through the copy of Wuthering Heights that Lupin had given her, stuffing the glossy pamphlets and brochures in her pocket, to the few references to haunting. "You see? Only a few unreliable sources saw the ghosts at odd intervals… serving folk, children, sick men, and the like. People were more frightened by the awful things that had gone on in the house than of the ghosts themselves."
"Bloody hell, Hermione! How'd you read that thing so fast?" Ron was amazed.
"Magic," Hermione snapped. "And if it will soothe you, we can simply go back in time to find out what will put them at rest, come back to the present, and get rid of them here. It'll be just like using a Pensieve, only it's a spell. Does that suit you?"
"Fine." Ron shrugged.
"Harry?" Hermione asked.
"If it's just like a Pensieve, we might as well. You, Neville?"
"I'm not sure…"
"Come on, Neville," Hermione said impatiently. "You too, Remus. You know the saying- 'The present's just a pleasant interruption to the past!' Let's go!"
Everyone drew their wands.
Hermione pointed her wand at the immobilized and bodiless figures "Ante mor-"
Before Hermione could finish saying "mortem," six girls in uniform and their terribly unfashionable and unconscious teacher fell upon the four wizards, one witch, two ghosts, old man, and the cow. There was a blinding flash as all people and cows involved felt the effects of Hermione's spell.
(CLAIMER: "Ante mortem" is too stupid to be a real spell, and thus thoroughly useless. That's because it's mine! You hear that?! Useless spell=mine! It's roughly me-Latin speak for "Before death." Yeah, I know it's wrong, but the only thing I remember from Latin is drunk elephant [elephanto ebrio!], so sue me! Ha-ha, you can't sue me though, because this thing is loaded with this highly legally analyzed claimers/disclaimers/author's notes! I don't own "The present's just a pleasant interruption to the past" though, because that belongs to Something Corporate, as a part of "Konstantine.")
