Disclaimer: JAG belongs to DPB, Paramount, CBS et al. This is for fun, no
copyright infringement is intended.
---
THE PRESENT
I pick up the large teddy bear Annabelle is so fond of and hug it to my chest. I had been so upset after that argument on the phone. And going on pregnancy leave wasn't really helpful. Too much time to think. So I desperately tried to keep me occupied. I don't know how my colleagues in Pensacola were able to show so much patience. The only good result of the fight with Harm was that I was free to talk to Harriet without holding anything back. I think she and Bud had been a little hurt at first ... understandable - I had lied to them over the last nine months. But they recovered quickly. Harriet offered so much encouragement and advice - I really don't know how I deserve such good friends at all. I became pretty nervous the last days before the calculated date of birth. So I was glad when my CO called to ask me a favor. I wasn't so pleased that it included getting information from my 'acquaintance in the NSA'. How he found out about Clayton is still beyond my knowledge. But it set in motion a rather strange train of events...
***
FLASHBACK
- Mac's apartment, Pensacola
Hesitantly Mac dialed the cell phone number Clay had given to her before he'd left. She was relieved to get the voicemail. Quickly she hung up without leaving a message and called her CO back.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I wasn't able to reach my friend."
"It doesn't matter, Colonel, we'll find another way. Well, have a good day then. Goodbye."
"Goodbye, Sir."
Mac stood and stretched, pressing both hands against the small of her back. She groaned softly. Being nine months pregnant was far away from being a pleasure - it was more a punishment! Little cramps seemed to have move up and down her spine all morning and now her stomach started to tighten every now and then, making her even more uncomfortable.
She stopped abruptly. Wait a minute: Cramps in her back, cramps in her stomach - really her stomach? She suddenly felt sweat on her forehead.
"O.k., stay calm, Marine," she scolded herself and counted the minutes between the cramps. Yes, there was a pattern. It wasn't her stomach - the contractions of the birth had started.
The first thing she felt was an overwhelming attack of panic. Taking deep breaths, as she had been told in the course, she managed to fight it down. She went to check the list hanging on the fridge - also as been told in the course. She had thought it was stupid when the course instructor had handed it out but now she saw it in a different light.
"Let's see ... ask you husband or friend to drive you or call a cab - don't try to drive by yourself. Turn off your cell phone - nothing can be so important right now. Make sure all faucets are closed. Take care that the stove and the oven are turned off. Close the blinds if it's a hot day. Turn off the radio and the television set. Ask the neighbor to look after your animals - I think I can skip that point."
By the time Mac had finished the list and grabbed her ready-bag the cab had arrived. After one last look she locked the apartment door and slowly went downstairs. Just as the cab pulled out into the traffic the phone in her apartment started ringing. It rang three minutes straight until it stopped.
***
- Naval hospital, Pensacola, almost six hours later
"This isn't fair!" Mac almost wailed, sweat running down her face, "This just isn't fair! It isn't supposed to take so long!"
"Relax," the midwife advised for the hundredth time, "It's not unusual for the first child to take longer. And you're over thirty."
"Oh, I see," growled Mac and took some more steps, "Now it's my fault." She gasped as another labor pain tightened her belly.
"Oooh, I HATE ALL MEN!" she groaned out.
"Well, that's a welcome to remember," stated a familiar voice behind her back. Mac's eyes grew wide. She turned slowly, almost sure she was hallucinating. But it *was* Clayton Webb at the entrance, clad in hospital green.
"Clay?! What are you doing here? How did you know? How - ouch." Her sentence was interrupted by the next contraction. Webb came to her side and supported her gently. He smiled but seemed a little bit nervous.
"Well, I saw your phone number on my cell phone. I tried to call back but there wasn't an answer. Then I tried your cell phone -" Mac thought immediately of the list. "- and after that your number at the office. Nobody was able to tell me your whereabouts. So I started to get a little concerned. And after an hour ... and still no answer ... well, I took the next flight down here. The rest was a piece of cake."
"Really?" Mac grunted and walked carefully across the room, Webb at her side. She wiped sweat off her brow. The midwife watched them for a second to be sure her help wasn't needed at the moment and then busied herself with taking notes in a file, smiling as the exchange went on.
"Oh, yes, really," Webb tried to get a better hold on her for the turn, "First I visited your apartment. I'm sorry but I picked the lock."
"You did what?" Mac breathed deeply in and out but still found the time to shoot him a disbelieving look.
"I locked it properly afterwards, I promise. Then I went to your office - and the hospital was the next item on the list. When I asked for you they forced me directly into this ugly green ... So here I am." He looked suddenly insecure. "I mean ... is - is it o.k.? That I'm here? Or is it -"
Mac stopped him with a wet pat on the cheek. "I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're caring so much. And I -" She pressed the hand on her back and groaned, "I WISH SHE'D HURRY UP!"
They walked some minutes in silence. At the next turning point Webb glanced over to her.
"Uhm, S- Mac? I don't know but shouldn't you lie down or at least sit down or something like that?"
"No," she rubbed her belly, "That's old-fashioned. The motion is helping to bear the pain."
"Old-fashioned, huh? Hey, don't look at my like that. Maybe the books I've read have been a little bit old."
"You've read books about giving birth?"
Webb actually blushed. "Well ... you see ... a friend of mine was pregnant - is pregnant ... and - What?"
Mac had started to giggle. "I like seeing you squirm."
"You like that? When did you become such a monster?" Webb wondered aloud. Mac giggled even more.
"Right after the fifth hour in labor. Now - oh. Oh?"
"Sarah?" Webb looked her up and down, obviously worried by the frown on her face. The midwife looked up and was immediately at her side.
"Something has changed," Mac stated thoughtfully then she grimaced, "Ouch! That was - *Ouch!* - definitely - *uh* - harder - *Jesus* - than before!"
"Sit down for a moment," the midwife ordered calmly. She checked her quickly and nodded satisfied. "That's much better. We can start now."
And so they did. After horrible twenty minutes Mac found her rhythm. She pushed and breathed and pushed, grabbing Webb's fingers tightly as a lifeline.
"Why on earth was I so gun-ho about having a child?" she panted in a pause, "Adoption is such a nice word!"
"That's nature," replied Webb somewhat suppressed, "Ah - Mac - if you don't mind ... is it possible to have my hand back in one piece afterwards?"
Mac pushed again, squeezing his hand even harder.
"Sorry," she groaned when she had enough air again, "But for that you have to fill out a request-form in triplicate."
"It's comforting to hear you still have your humor left."
"I'm just hanging on, Clay, just hanging on."
The next contraction took over and under the encouraging comments of the midwife, the doctor and Webb Mac pulled all her strength together and screamed like in combat. The relief started somewhere under her ribs, sliding down her body and she fell back. Through her pants and her own heartbeat she barley heard the midwife anymore but the tiny squeak turning into a good cry was perfectly clear.
"Oh God," she whispered. The sudden emptiness was terrifying and for a moment she wasn't able to focus on anything else.
"Here she is ... look where your mommy is, my little girl, look where she is."
Mac's eyes flew open and she stared in awe at the tiny bundle the midwife was gently lowering into her arms. Instinctively she cradled her daughter against her chest.
"Oh. Oh, baby. Oh, my sweet darling." She looked up to Webb. "She's so beautiful."
"Yes. Yes, she is," he whispered back, an awesome smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. First he hesitated but then he couldn't resist any longer and reached out, tracing a finger over one of the tiny fists. "She's perfect, Sarah."
The newborn girl had stopped crying and was looking around with big blue baby eyes. Mac smiled down at her. Completely captured.
"You've already chosen a name, Sarah?" the midwife asked gently.
Mac nodded slowly. She glanced up to Webb and back down on her daughter, rocking her softly. Then she made a quick decision.
"Annabelle Porter Mackenzie," she said quietly, "Welcome in this world, my little darling."
Webb made a strangled sound, bent down impulsively and kissed Mac's brow. Then he turned in a fluid motion and walked a few steps away, fighting visibly for control. Mac focused on her daughter to give him some privacy.
With the help of the midwife she tried to nurse the baby for the first time and Annabelle - learning quickly - was soon busy with her first meal, her watery eyes never leaving Mac's face. There seemed to be so much surprise and so many unanswered questions in her gaze. Mac smiled reassuringly. She glanced over to Clayton and saw him quickly brushing his eyes before he came back. He swept a sweaty strain of hair off Mac's cheek.
"Thank you," he whispered, "Thank you so much."
"I regret, I've never known her in person," answered Mac honestly.
After some minutes of silence Webb sighed deeply. "Come back to Washington."
Mac held her gaze fixed on Annabelle's tiny body. "There's nothing I can return to. I even gave up my apartment when I moved down here."
"You can stay at my house until... It's big enough - you don't have to see me if you don't want to."
"It's difficult," Mac whispered helplessly. Webb didn't answer. But he placed a supporting hand on her shoulder.
---
THE PRESENT
I pick up the large teddy bear Annabelle is so fond of and hug it to my chest. I had been so upset after that argument on the phone. And going on pregnancy leave wasn't really helpful. Too much time to think. So I desperately tried to keep me occupied. I don't know how my colleagues in Pensacola were able to show so much patience. The only good result of the fight with Harm was that I was free to talk to Harriet without holding anything back. I think she and Bud had been a little hurt at first ... understandable - I had lied to them over the last nine months. But they recovered quickly. Harriet offered so much encouragement and advice - I really don't know how I deserve such good friends at all. I became pretty nervous the last days before the calculated date of birth. So I was glad when my CO called to ask me a favor. I wasn't so pleased that it included getting information from my 'acquaintance in the NSA'. How he found out about Clayton is still beyond my knowledge. But it set in motion a rather strange train of events...
***
FLASHBACK
- Mac's apartment, Pensacola
Hesitantly Mac dialed the cell phone number Clay had given to her before he'd left. She was relieved to get the voicemail. Quickly she hung up without leaving a message and called her CO back.
"I'm sorry, Sir, I wasn't able to reach my friend."
"It doesn't matter, Colonel, we'll find another way. Well, have a good day then. Goodbye."
"Goodbye, Sir."
Mac stood and stretched, pressing both hands against the small of her back. She groaned softly. Being nine months pregnant was far away from being a pleasure - it was more a punishment! Little cramps seemed to have move up and down her spine all morning and now her stomach started to tighten every now and then, making her even more uncomfortable.
She stopped abruptly. Wait a minute: Cramps in her back, cramps in her stomach - really her stomach? She suddenly felt sweat on her forehead.
"O.k., stay calm, Marine," she scolded herself and counted the minutes between the cramps. Yes, there was a pattern. It wasn't her stomach - the contractions of the birth had started.
The first thing she felt was an overwhelming attack of panic. Taking deep breaths, as she had been told in the course, she managed to fight it down. She went to check the list hanging on the fridge - also as been told in the course. She had thought it was stupid when the course instructor had handed it out but now she saw it in a different light.
"Let's see ... ask you husband or friend to drive you or call a cab - don't try to drive by yourself. Turn off your cell phone - nothing can be so important right now. Make sure all faucets are closed. Take care that the stove and the oven are turned off. Close the blinds if it's a hot day. Turn off the radio and the television set. Ask the neighbor to look after your animals - I think I can skip that point."
By the time Mac had finished the list and grabbed her ready-bag the cab had arrived. After one last look she locked the apartment door and slowly went downstairs. Just as the cab pulled out into the traffic the phone in her apartment started ringing. It rang three minutes straight until it stopped.
***
- Naval hospital, Pensacola, almost six hours later
"This isn't fair!" Mac almost wailed, sweat running down her face, "This just isn't fair! It isn't supposed to take so long!"
"Relax," the midwife advised for the hundredth time, "It's not unusual for the first child to take longer. And you're over thirty."
"Oh, I see," growled Mac and took some more steps, "Now it's my fault." She gasped as another labor pain tightened her belly.
"Oooh, I HATE ALL MEN!" she groaned out.
"Well, that's a welcome to remember," stated a familiar voice behind her back. Mac's eyes grew wide. She turned slowly, almost sure she was hallucinating. But it *was* Clayton Webb at the entrance, clad in hospital green.
"Clay?! What are you doing here? How did you know? How - ouch." Her sentence was interrupted by the next contraction. Webb came to her side and supported her gently. He smiled but seemed a little bit nervous.
"Well, I saw your phone number on my cell phone. I tried to call back but there wasn't an answer. Then I tried your cell phone -" Mac thought immediately of the list. "- and after that your number at the office. Nobody was able to tell me your whereabouts. So I started to get a little concerned. And after an hour ... and still no answer ... well, I took the next flight down here. The rest was a piece of cake."
"Really?" Mac grunted and walked carefully across the room, Webb at her side. She wiped sweat off her brow. The midwife watched them for a second to be sure her help wasn't needed at the moment and then busied herself with taking notes in a file, smiling as the exchange went on.
"Oh, yes, really," Webb tried to get a better hold on her for the turn, "First I visited your apartment. I'm sorry but I picked the lock."
"You did what?" Mac breathed deeply in and out but still found the time to shoot him a disbelieving look.
"I locked it properly afterwards, I promise. Then I went to your office - and the hospital was the next item on the list. When I asked for you they forced me directly into this ugly green ... So here I am." He looked suddenly insecure. "I mean ... is - is it o.k.? That I'm here? Or is it -"
Mac stopped him with a wet pat on the cheek. "I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're caring so much. And I -" She pressed the hand on her back and groaned, "I WISH SHE'D HURRY UP!"
They walked some minutes in silence. At the next turning point Webb glanced over to her.
"Uhm, S- Mac? I don't know but shouldn't you lie down or at least sit down or something like that?"
"No," she rubbed her belly, "That's old-fashioned. The motion is helping to bear the pain."
"Old-fashioned, huh? Hey, don't look at my like that. Maybe the books I've read have been a little bit old."
"You've read books about giving birth?"
Webb actually blushed. "Well ... you see ... a friend of mine was pregnant - is pregnant ... and - What?"
Mac had started to giggle. "I like seeing you squirm."
"You like that? When did you become such a monster?" Webb wondered aloud. Mac giggled even more.
"Right after the fifth hour in labor. Now - oh. Oh?"
"Sarah?" Webb looked her up and down, obviously worried by the frown on her face. The midwife looked up and was immediately at her side.
"Something has changed," Mac stated thoughtfully then she grimaced, "Ouch! That was - *Ouch!* - definitely - *uh* - harder - *Jesus* - than before!"
"Sit down for a moment," the midwife ordered calmly. She checked her quickly and nodded satisfied. "That's much better. We can start now."
And so they did. After horrible twenty minutes Mac found her rhythm. She pushed and breathed and pushed, grabbing Webb's fingers tightly as a lifeline.
"Why on earth was I so gun-ho about having a child?" she panted in a pause, "Adoption is such a nice word!"
"That's nature," replied Webb somewhat suppressed, "Ah - Mac - if you don't mind ... is it possible to have my hand back in one piece afterwards?"
Mac pushed again, squeezing his hand even harder.
"Sorry," she groaned when she had enough air again, "But for that you have to fill out a request-form in triplicate."
"It's comforting to hear you still have your humor left."
"I'm just hanging on, Clay, just hanging on."
The next contraction took over and under the encouraging comments of the midwife, the doctor and Webb Mac pulled all her strength together and screamed like in combat. The relief started somewhere under her ribs, sliding down her body and she fell back. Through her pants and her own heartbeat she barley heard the midwife anymore but the tiny squeak turning into a good cry was perfectly clear.
"Oh God," she whispered. The sudden emptiness was terrifying and for a moment she wasn't able to focus on anything else.
"Here she is ... look where your mommy is, my little girl, look where she is."
Mac's eyes flew open and she stared in awe at the tiny bundle the midwife was gently lowering into her arms. Instinctively she cradled her daughter against her chest.
"Oh. Oh, baby. Oh, my sweet darling." She looked up to Webb. "She's so beautiful."
"Yes. Yes, she is," he whispered back, an awesome smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. First he hesitated but then he couldn't resist any longer and reached out, tracing a finger over one of the tiny fists. "She's perfect, Sarah."
The newborn girl had stopped crying and was looking around with big blue baby eyes. Mac smiled down at her. Completely captured.
"You've already chosen a name, Sarah?" the midwife asked gently.
Mac nodded slowly. She glanced up to Webb and back down on her daughter, rocking her softly. Then she made a quick decision.
"Annabelle Porter Mackenzie," she said quietly, "Welcome in this world, my little darling."
Webb made a strangled sound, bent down impulsively and kissed Mac's brow. Then he turned in a fluid motion and walked a few steps away, fighting visibly for control. Mac focused on her daughter to give him some privacy.
With the help of the midwife she tried to nurse the baby for the first time and Annabelle - learning quickly - was soon busy with her first meal, her watery eyes never leaving Mac's face. There seemed to be so much surprise and so many unanswered questions in her gaze. Mac smiled reassuringly. She glanced over to Clayton and saw him quickly brushing his eyes before he came back. He swept a sweaty strain of hair off Mac's cheek.
"Thank you," he whispered, "Thank you so much."
"I regret, I've never known her in person," answered Mac honestly.
After some minutes of silence Webb sighed deeply. "Come back to Washington."
Mac held her gaze fixed on Annabelle's tiny body. "There's nothing I can return to. I even gave up my apartment when I moved down here."
"You can stay at my house until... It's big enough - you don't have to see me if you don't want to."
"It's difficult," Mac whispered helplessly. Webb didn't answer. But he placed a supporting hand on her shoulder.
