Never Fall In Love With A Werewolf

Chapter Four - From The Other Side

Remus stumbled on a piece of crooked pavement, unperturbed he looked up to see five or six youths laughing and pointing at him viciously. They yelled malicious things at him, Remus caught one or two that sounded like "Lousy tramp!" and "Perverted weirdo!" He got enough insults from the Wizarding World, without having to worry about Muggle teenagers throwing insults at him. Remus took a deep breath and carried on walking by, his head held high ignoring the insults as they grew more callous and relentless with each step he undertook.

Remus passed a seedy old pub called 'The Three Lions', full of sweaty, stubbly Muggles sitting outside with revitalizing pints of beer, guzzling them down in seconds. The punters all eyed him suspiciously; maybe they'd seem him trip over the wonky pavement, and heard the verbal abuse from the yobs and believed it to be true, or perhaps they worried that he'd pinch their precious pints of perky beer from them. Evidently, the shabby attempt at Muggle attire obviously didn't go down well with the real thing. A blonde woman in a black sleeveless top and white jeans shook her head and muttered something to her rather butch boyfriend, who eyed Remus up threateningly. Once again, Remus ignored this, and strode on by, and turned the corner into Grimmauld Place.

The Muggles now safely behind him, Remus was able to walk into number twelve Grimmauld Place with out any strange stares or malevolent mutterings. Remus felt a sigh of relief hit him as he strolled into the kitchen, now able to sink into his favourite chair by the fire, and crack open his bottle of cheap wine. "To life," Remus muttered pouring red wine into a grimy mug. "and what it doesn't become." He raised the mug to the mantelpiece which held Sirius's mementos of the Marauding Years. He scanned the shelf, tears brimming in his forlorn amber tinted, blue eyes; he saw a picture of James, Lily and Sirius at the wedding on the island of Jersey. Sirius was laughing, probably at disbelief that James finally got the girl. James was wearing colourful red and gold robes and a red rose was pinned to his chest. He was staring at Lily and waving absentmindedly at the photographer. Lily smiling timidly at James, her cheeks blushing slightly, her white dress sparkled in the sunlight, and she looked beautiful; her hair had been curled and was falling in innocent ringlets on to her shoulders. With a startling jolt in the regions of his stomach, Remus stopped gazing reminiscently at the photo, and realised that everyone in the picture was, dead.

A few tears fell onto his trousers and he thought about this. He felt ill, he wanted to be violently sick. The mere thought terrified him horribly. Everyone that had helped him during his school years had now died, or deserved death or worse…

*

Remus opened his eyes. Everything was a slight grey blur, his eyes watered as they took in the surroundings. Feeling ill and slightly dizzy, he sat up rubbing the back of his head, and rubbing his stubbly face; deciding that he should really shave, for he dreaded to think what Tonks would say if she saw him lying on the kitchen floor, somewhat hungover and in a desperate need of a shave, stinking of stale drink and body odour. His stomach lurched incongruously as he thought of Tonks…

Remus stumbled upstairs, dragging his feet along the staircase heading for the bathroom. He pushed open the door and saw himself in the dusty mirror opposite, he frowned at himself for falling into such a stupor. He pulled off his socks, jumper, trousers, and turned on the shower, letting the room steam up before stepping in. He noticed, pearly pink bottles of feminine toiletries on the shower shelf. He thought to himself that they must be Tonks's as they changed to black every five minutes, as she charmed most of her belongings at Grimmauld Place, so they'd become metamorphmagi like herself. Remus felt his mouth twitch into a smile thinking about her little whim…

It took Remus no time at all to dry and dress himself and haul himself downstairs. He felt stronger, sober and vigilant, ready to face the world and get rid of his alcohol, it was not a good thing at all. He made a mental note to tell Harry, Ron and Hermione never to drink. "Out with the old, in with the new." Remus said grimly, dropping two bottles of wine into the bin with a crash. He dusted his hands and poured himself some chilled pumpkin juice, courtesy of Molly.

Remus stopped drinking his morning pumpkin juice with an abrupt jolt, he dropped his goblet, the amber liquid seeping into ridges in the table, and dripping off onto the stone floor. He clasped his shaking hands to his quivering mouth and let out a heartfelt howl. He felt his stomach grind with the feeling of guilt - he had forgotten Sirius. He was thinking about telling teenagers not to drink. He was thinking about Tonks… Tonks for goodness sake…

Remus moved his left hand up his prematurely lined face and felt warm tears filling his eyes. His other hand, meanwhile moved down towards his stomach, where the wrenching pain of guilt was eating away at his insides. It was gnashing against his heart, ripping apart everything it could get its hands on. All Remus could now feel was the guilt over powering him. All he could think about was that he had forgotten Sirius. Weeping, he brought the hand clenching his stomach to the other side of his face. Both hands now started to grip his forehead as he sobbed uncontrollably. "W-why take him? WHY TAKE HIM?" Remus cried, scrunching his eyes up in anguish. "He did nothing wrong. He was innocent… Innocent." He slid of the chair in absolute heartache, he bashed his head on the granite floor, however, he didn't feel the piercing pain or the slight trickle of blood near his temple.

Remus didn't know how long he lay on the floor sobbing his heart out, but when he did eventually sit up, he felt the throbbing pain above his temple. Tentatively, he rubbed the area, and wiped off the dried burgundy blood with this thumb. Tonks would defiantly not approve of a stupor of this level. Shaking his head slightly, and narrowing his eyes he saw the photos on the mantelpiece. Remus picked up a dusty picture he wasn't familiar with. It was of a young man in his late teens. He had black wavy hair that fell just beyond his ears and tickled his sparkling, laughing eyes. The man was grinning broadly up at Remus, giving him the thumbs up. Remus picked up the picture for a closer look, for he didn't remember this picture. The frame was untreated pine and looked fairy new, apart from the dust. Blowing the dust off the frame, he turned it over, and there, stuck to the back, on a piece of new parchment was a message. For him.

Moony old friend,

This is for you. You took this photo, remember? I kept it with me when I was in Azkaban, I knew I still had one true friend left, who would hopefully see me as a grinning loon once again. And I never forgot that. I framed it myself the other day, so I'm hoping you'll just notice this when you come down from breakfast! I'm giving this to you incase something ever happens to me, so you know, I will always be there, beaming like an Erkling!

- Padfoot.

Remus nearly dropped the photo in shock. It was almost as if Sirius was speaking beyond the veil… Remus swallowed a lump in his throat, he wasn't sure if he was able to cry anymore, and he didn't really want to either, for his eyes were red, puffy and stung slightly. Questions now started to accumulate in his head. Why didn't he notice the picture before? Was the picture even here before? Did Sirius think he was going to die that night? Why didn't he remember taking this photo? Why was Tonks drifting into his head now? Now of all times…

"This was not the time or place to be thinking about women." Remus muttered. He brushed the rest of the dust off with the sleeve of his jumper. He placed the picture on the table and started at for a few seconds rather fondly. "Where are you know eh? Lapping it up with James and Lily I hope." Remus smiled, he didn't believe in God, or any being, but he liked to think his old friends were somewhere safe now, away from all the fear, evil and injustice of earth. Sirius would be happy, he missed James awfully, and he'd be able to tell Lily and James about Harry... "Yes, that'd be nice." Remus said, sitting down at the table, his eyes never leaving the picture.

Author's Note I'm crying… Again… I shouldn't really cry at something I've written, it sounds almost arrogant doesn't it? Well, I've been crying a lot lately, had to keep reading bits of the books to get 'in character' and reading PoA is rather difficult for any Sirius or Remus lover. It's emotional stuff! Does JKR have any idea of what she's done? She said Harry would have to explore what death really means, but that didn't have to involve Sirius, or Remus for that matter… She should have killed Hagrid instead, maybe he could have got tramped by that bloody Grawp… Well, yes. I'm shutting up again. Please review, this is totally review driven, and you always feel good when someone says "Hey, I liked this." So cheers! And cheers PoPo! You've been faithful! So yes, review! You've come this far, so just go a but further, and click that thing on the bottom left hand corner, and say something nice, preferably J .