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So Close... And Yet So Far
Part Four: Rain
Drip. Drop. Drip. Noin's eyes fluttered open, as she tried to re-orient herself. She lifted her head, and a shooting pain flew up her neck. Not a good sleeping position. Drip. Drop. She realized what had woken her up as more drops of rain continued to fall on her bare head and neck. She tried to sit up straight only to find that she was being held very tightly by a very long—and very strong—arm. She looked to her left to see Zechs sleeping in a very awkward position. She gently nudged him awake.
"Zechs, it's raining," she whispered in his ear.
"Mmm…" he moaned, wrapping his other arm around her.
"Zechs," she urged, shaking him a little harder. "Get up, Zechs, it's raining!"
"Unh?" he grunted. He lifted his head. Drop. A raindrop landed straight into his eye. He rubbed it furiously. "We should have stayed on Mars." Noin raised an eyebrow.
"What for?"
"It doesn't rain there."
"I think that was the whole point in leaving," she replied dryly. "C'mon, let's go inside." He rose, slowly and painfully, feeling each of his little vertebrae go crick. She half dragged him to the Hilton across the street. They were gonna go get some sleep, goddammit.
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Heero and Relena walked side by side in the park. The breeze played with her golden hair and she laughed as she tried to control the unruly strands. Heero never felt so weightless in his entire life. He turned to face her, and brushed her hair away from her eyes, savoring the feel of the silky strands between his fingers. Looking deeply into her aquamarine eyes, he saw all the love he could ever have hoped for.
"Relena," his lips captured hers in a soft kiss, a kiss of true love. His whole body tingled at the sensation. He pulled way slowly and reluctantly to see Relena smiling at him, eyes twinkling.
"'Scuse me," they both turned to see a beautiful little girl, hand extended with a wildflower in it. "This is for you." She smiled sweetly. Heero's eyes narrowed. There was something familiar about this girl. Then he noticed the puppy wagging its tail next to her and his world came crashing down on him in realization. Wing Zero appeared out of nowhere, with its buster rifle aimed at Relena's back.
"No!" he screamed. He tried to reach for her, to pull her out of the way, but his arms were being held back. He looked at his arms and saw Dr. J's metal claws digging into him, preventing any movement. "Relena!" he shouted as the beam shot through her back and out of her abdomen. "Let me go!" he struggled against Dr. J, "Let me go!" Relena fell to her knees, hands over her wound, as the blood seeped through her fingers.
"I love you," she whispered, extending her bloody hand to his face.
"Noooooo!!!!" He tore away from Dr. J and attacked him.
"Heero," he rasped, "Stop. Heero!"
Heero awoke from his nightmare to find Relena pinned under him, his hands dangerously tight on her throat. "Heero," he pulled away immediately, eyes widened in shock. He attempted to compose himself, but still appeared disoriented as he walked out the door.
Relena tried to fathom what had just happened. She had awoken to the whisper of her name, and someone holding her very tightly. She had been confused at first and then remembered where she was and what happened. Heero's hold loosened a little and she pulled away to look at him. His eyes flickering back and forth under his eyelids as he called her name yet again, this time with so much agony that she grew alarmed. Grabbing his shoulder, she tried to shake him awake. He started struggling, thrashing around, moaning, "No. No. No! " Each time getting more and more forceful. No matter how hard she shook him he wouldn't wake up. She finally grabbed his other shoulder and shook him hard,
"Heero!"
"Let me go," he mumbled, "Let me go!" Then, with a howl of "No" that sounded almost animal he attacked her, flipping her over and pinning her down under him, as one hand clutched her throat. He finally awoke, and then proceeded to walk out the door in that unbalanced state. Never, during the entire ordeal, did she fear for her life or her safety. But she was concerned about him.
Gathering herself together, she pulled out of bed. She heard the pitter-patter on the window and surmised that it was raining, and Heero wasn't even wearing a shirt. She grabbed his jacket and proceeded to follow him out the door. Then, taking a glance at her own attire, grabbed her coat in an afterthought and chased after him yet again.
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Quatre stepped out of the shower and slipped a navy blue robe over his dripping body. He grabbed one of the hotel towels and opened the door to the bathroom, wrapping the towel around his strong neck. He turned towards the bedroom of his suite, ready to go to bed. Suddenly, he heard footsteps outside his door. He grabbed the doorknob of his room and opened it almost excitedly. Sure enough, there was Trowa, dripping from the rain that continued to pound outside. Trowa turned at the sound of the door opening behind him, and locked his visible green eye with Quatre's earnest aquamarine ones.
"Trowa?" Quatre began. Trowa gave him a kind nod,
"Goodnight, Quatre." The earnestness faded from Quatre's eyes and he nodded back politely.
"Goodnight, Trowa" He replied with a smile. Trowa proceeded to open the door to his own suite and go inside. Grabbing a towel from the bathroom he proceeded to dry himself off, peeling off his soaking clothes. His thoughts wandered in the silence of his room. Quatre looked so adorably innocent in his terry robe and saturated blond hair. The color of his hair had turned a dark honey color from the water. Just like Relena's, he realized.
His heart felt heavy as he remembered her state, and he pored over the mission he had just completed. He had felt so justified as he watched the base explode, but as he considered it now, turning it over and examining every painful edge, he realized it wasn't enough. This isn't what Relena would have wanted, he scolded himself. It was hard not to admire her strength and selflessness. Even he, who had had very little contact with her during the war, was caught off guard by her consideration for others. She regarded him as a long-time friend, always happy to see him and Catherine too. He remembered how concerned Catherine was when she heard about the bombing. It was uncanny how close the two had gotten in their brief visits. But Relena had that effect on people. It was hard not to love her at first meeting because she loved you right back, with a feeling so genuine, that you never felt you could care for her enough to equal her affection for you. And that was probably why everyone was even more upset, especially Quatre, who both yearned for and offered his love as willingly and genuinely as Relena did—does! She's not gone yet, he corrected himself, before finally letting sleep take over.
***************************************
You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You were always crazy like that
He
He was losing control and he knew it. Relena was distracting him, as she had always done. Staying in the same room was not a good idea. He cursed himself, I shouldn't have slept in the bed. Too many bad judgment calls, perhaps this whole plan was a bad idea too. No, the only way for her to be truly safe is if people think she is already dead, he reasoned. His thoughts were becoming rational again, focused.
"Heero!" Damn. "Heero…"
I watched from my window,
Always felt I was outside looking in on you
You were always the mysterious one
With dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
He wouldn't turn, he wouldn't look at her, afraid to lose his focus yet again. And then she touched him. Just his shoulder, with her soft fingertips. He felt a warm electricity spark with that gentle brush and he sprang back, turning towards her.
Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you
This is me down on my knees
He looked like a trapped animal, desperate to escape, and ready to pounce. The rain hit him fiercely on his well-toned muscles. His skin shone like marble, smooth and hard as the raindrops traveled in little rivulets along the sinews of his flesh. He was breathtakingly beautiful, even as he glared at her now. His stare was almost blank, as if he had put up a wall between them so we wouldn't have to see her delicate figure. But he saw her, standing there barefoot, wearing nothing but an overcoat over her tank top and shorts, clutching his jacket under her arm. He noticed that the rain that had seemed to pound into him was sprinkling over her like glitter, clinging to her honey blond hair, kissing her eyelashes and lips. The city lights gave her an ethereal glow, and he couldn't remember when she had looked more beautiful.
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart,
You're breaking my heart
"Heero, you're soaked! You could get seriously sick!" she scolded, extending his jacket towards him. "Are you all right?" she asked, her voice softening. He took the jacket from her hand and finally releasing eye contact, proceeded to walk back to the club. "Aren't you even going to put it on?" her voice came from behind him.
You'd each me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
"It's pointless now. I'm already wet." He finally was able to reply. Well, he seems back to normal, she sighed to herself, whatever that means. And followed him back into the building.
You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You were always crazy like that
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"I don't want to hear any details. I want a time. When will you get the report done?" Lady Une's patience at 5am did not run very deep.
"5pm, tomorrow, that is—today." Sally replied somewhat certainly.
"All right then," Une replied, satisfied. "I'll expect it in my mailbox at that time." And without so much as a goodbye, she disconnected.
Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have come back to the office. I knew I shouldn't have answered the vidphone. How do I get myself into these situations?! Taking a long look at the stack of papers she had had come to drop off, she decided to let them be. She'd work on them after a good night's—or morning's sleep.
She closed the door and proceeded to lock it. As she turned to leave, she bumped into something very hard and very wet.
"Wufei! What are you doing here? And why are you so wet?"
"I had to check something. And as for your other question, in case you didn't notice it's raining outside." He said, irritation seeping into his voice.
Sally dangled her umbrella in his face, wordlessly. She looked him in the eye with a condescending smugness that it made him want to grab the offensive object and smack her with it. Suddenly remembering her fatigue, Sally rubbed her eyes, breaking eye contact. Her stance wavered and Wufei caught her elbow to steady her.
"You shouldn't be working this late," he scolded. "I'll drive you home." Sally thought of protesting, but then decided against it, realizing it would give her a chance to sleep in the car.
"So, where is your car parked?" Wufei asked, as the walked down to the parking garage.
"My car?" replied Sally, surprised. "I thought we were taking yours."
"I don't have an extra helmet for my motorcycle, so we can't take that. You did bring your car didn't you?" She nodded, blinking her eyes hard, trying to focus them. She shook her head trying to clear out the fuzziness. Wufei grabbed the keys from her hand and pressed the button on the key chain. The strange beep/tone sounded to the right of them. Dragging Sally by the arm, he walked towards the car, unlocked it and ordered her to go in. She gave him a somewhat indignant glare before tumbling in the passenger seat.
She yawned as he started the car, and as they turned out of the garage she had already leaned her head against his damp shoulder and fallen asleep.
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"Unnh," Hilde mumbled something incoherently, rubbing her cheek into her arm. Duo had spotted her asleep, head down on the kitchen table. It was just too easy. Grabbing the end of his dripping wet braid he had let a water droplet land on her cheek, resulting in the previous reaction. He needed to get his mind off his last mission. He needed to forget his alter ego, the God of Death that had seemed to consume him during the Eve Wars. He felt out of control, uneasy that the Destroyer he had locked away had been released once more to wreak havoc on his life and the people he loved. The person he loved. She would make him sane again. He had a sudden need to hold Hilde close, to feel her heart beat against his. He picked her up from the chair, and cradled her head against his shoulder. She nuzzled her cheek into the crook of his neck as he carried her into the bathroom. He felt her tense.
"Ugh, Duo," she complained sleepily, "you're all wet!" She pulled away, fully awake and he dropped her onto the bed.
"Yeah, it's raining pretty hard out there." She rolled off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Duo sighed and began peeling off his wet clothes. Suddenly, he was wrapped in a soft white bath towel that still smelled of fabric softener.
"Need some help?" Hilde whispered in a voice as soft as the towel she had wrapped him in. Turning around in her embrace, he kissed her softly on the lips.
"I need all the help I can get."
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Heero, on the other hand, was not as willing to accept the help he so desperately needed, the help Relena desperately want to give him.
you come out at night
that's when the energy comes
and the dark side's light
and the vampires roam
She sat on the edge of the bed, absently drying her hair as she observed him. He was doing everything possible to avoid looking at her.
without your shadow getting in the way
oh you're so beautiful
with an edge and a charm
but so careful
when I'm in your arms
She bit her lip as she prepared to break the silence.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" she prodded. Yes, his subconscious screamed, Oh God yes! Please I want to tell you anything, everything! But the Perfect Soldier had always been able to silence that voice.
'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
"About what?" he replied, indifferently.
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully
"Your nightmare?" she broached, cautiously.
you woke up screaming aloud
a prayer from your secret god
you feed off our fears
and hold back your tears
Heero could hear the concern in her voice and it made his heart want to explode. She was concerned about him. It should be the other way around. After all, he had almost…
oh you're a beautiful
a beautiful fucked up man
you're setting up your
razor wire shrine
…the thought was brushed away by the Perfect Soldier before it could even be completed.
'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
"I don't remember it," he cut off the subject. I wish I could forget it.
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully
He settled in front of his laptop, and began typing furiously. Relena furrowed her eyebrows in a mixture of frustration and concern. Why, Heero? Why won't you let me in? Why do you carry your pain so possessively? It isn't yours alone. It hurts me as well.
'cause you're working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you're working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully
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