Dawson didn't think his life could really get a lot worse. He was falling behind on his project because of his recent bout of self-induced depression and everyone at the office was acting differently around him. Jason was cold and standoffish to him and Dawson knew Jason told some people what he did. As much as he hated hearing the whispers as he tried to work and he hated barely being able to sleep or eat much, the thing he hated most was that Joey wasn't around. Now three weeks after the incident at Scout Bar, she still wouldn't speak to him or see him. He called her but she never called back, he wrote her letters and e-mails but they were returned to him. He was even desperate enough to call Bessie and ask her to give Joey a message but Bessie politely declined, opting to protect her sister. The time without her was making him go crazy. He was used to long absences between them, the summers they spent apart, when she was living in Boston while he was in New York, but she was always there for him like he was for her. And now she wouldn't speak to him or see him and he missed her like crazy. He missed her laugh and smile, the way she looked at him and punched his shoulder when he teased her. Sometimes when he would walk through the streets, he thought he saw her or heard her laugh, but it wasn't her. Now he was sitting at his desk, staring off into space, focusing on the picture of him and Joey taken at the Empire State Building when she first moved to New York. They looked so happy together then.

"Hey Dawson," Jason said softly, lingering around Dawson's cubicle. He looked at Jason in surprise and shock that he was actually being mildly friendly to him.

"Jason, hi," Dawson stammered, quickly putting the picture of him and Joey back on his desk.

"How are you?" Jason asked nervously.

"Fine, plugging along," Dawson lied, smiling softly.

"Have you heard from.her?" Jason asked, cutting right to the chase.

"No.you?" Dawson said, his voice breaking a bit.

"Yeah I've seen her a couple of times, talk on the phone sometimes too," Jason said softly, looking away from Dawson's surprised look.

"Still dating?" he asked nervously, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"No just friends.her.her heart is elsewhere," Jason said, looking Dawson right in the eyes.

"So how is she?" Dawson asked, directing his gaze back to her picture.

"Holding up, at first things weren't so good, depressed, crying a lot, angry, but it's getting better," Jason whispered.

"I miss her so much," Dawson breathed, wondering if he actually said it out loud.

"I know you do.she misses you too Dawson, I can see how hurt she is," Jason said, patting him softly on the back.

"So what do I do? Because I really don't know anymore," Dawson asked.

"Well the way I see it you have two choices," Jason started, noticing Dawson turn to look at him. "You can wait and give her time or beg and I highly recommend the latter." They both smiled.

"I'm sorry Jason, you've always been a good guy to me and I screwed you over pretty good," Dawson said, standing up.

"Yeah you did screw me over pretty good, but it's okay Dawson because I think a part of me always knew when I was with Joey that her heart belonged to you but I guess it just took some time before you guys knew it," Jason said softly, extending his hand for Dawson to shake.

I appreciate it Jason, thank you," Dawson said, shaking his hand. "If you talk to Joey.can you please just tell her that I miss her and think about her all the time?"

"No guarantees Dawson, but I'll see what I can do," Jason said, patting him on the back before walking back to his desk.

Later that day, Dawson was walking down Fifth Avenue, taking his time walking home. Lately he was never in a hurry to get somewhere because there wasn't anyone waiting for him. No one was waiting for him to meet them for dinner or lunch or to come over for movie night. Lost in his own thoughts of self-pity, he glanced into the window of Rinnie's café, where several people were waiting for their take-out order. Contemplating stopping there for a sandwich to take home, he scanned the line, wondering how long it would take for his order when he saw something that made his heart stop.

Joey was standing in line, waiting for her usual turkey club sandwich and side salad. She was alone, staring off into space as the man behind the counter called off numbers for people to collect their order. Stepping closer to the glass, Dawson gasped as he got a better look at her. She looked so beautiful, dressed casually in jeans and a fitted short-sleeve shirt. Dawson noticed she looked thinner and sad, her eyes didn't have that usual sparkle and she looked tired. He watched her for a few minutes as she waited for her sandwich, but she could feel someone was looking at her. Joey looked at the people around her and they weren't looking at her with some intense stare but some unnatural instinct made her turn around and stop when she saw Dawson looking at her through the window. Her heart started to race and found herself unable to tear her gaze away from him. Lost in each other's gaze, Joey didn't hear someone call her number until the woman next to her nudged Joey angrily and Joey was forced to turn around to grab her sandwich, wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her again. Did she really see him? Turning around with sandwich in hand, Joey took a deep breath but exhaled slowly when she saw he was gone, if he even there to begin with.

Flopping down on his bed, Dawson dropped his bag and ran his fingers through his hair, haunted by the look shared between him and Joey at the deli. She saw him and stared at him with those eyes that drove him crazy. Cursing himself for not going in to talk to her, Dawson closed his eyes and fell asleep, dreaming sweetly of Joey, remembering the feel of her in his arms and curled up next to him.

"Jason I think I'm going crazy," Joey said, ushering him into her apartment.

"What do you mean? Are the voices talking to you again?" Jason laughed, noticing the disturbed look on her face, matching her tone of the phone when she begged him to come over.

"Funny outside of family your voice is the only one talking to me," Joey said with a bitter laugh, settling herself in the chairs near the couch.

"What happened? You sounded weird on the phone," Jason asked, sitting on the couch.

"I was getting something at Rinnie's today and I think I saw Dawson," Joey said, curling up in a ball.

"You think you saw him?" Jason asked.

"Yeah well I was waiting for my sandwich and then I turned around and he was outside, looking in the window and then I turned around again and he was gone, am I going crazy?" Joey cried, burying her face in her hands.

"You're not crazy Joey, did you talk to him at all?" Jason asked cautiously.

"No, we just sort of stared at each other and then he was gone," Joey said softly.

"Did you want to talk to him?" Jason pressed.

"I don't know, part of me is still angry with him but the other part misses him a lot," she said, looking down.

"He misses you too Joey, he told me and I think he feels really lost without you," Jason said, wondering why he was really helping Dawson out. Joey looked up and smiled weakly.

"I'm just tired of all the lies and hurting each other," Joey said, feeling tears starting. "I love him but I'm not sure if we can survive something like this again, our friendship or bizarre form of a relationship.

"I can't believe I'm saying this Joey but I want you to listen to me and then the conversation ends, ok?" Jason said, looking her right in the eye. "I don't know what happened between you guys in the past but he loves you and I know a part of you still loves him too. He screwed up big time and hurt you and me, but I don't think he did that intentionally. No matter what happened in the past though, you guys still love one another and that's something that managed to stay true despite all the bad things that happened. There's something to be said about love that survives all that and still exists between two people. You have to decide if you can forgive him and if you want to be with him knowing what he did and if you don't, then you have to let it go." Joey looked down, knowing Jason was right.

The next day Dawson was going through hours of video he shot over the previous days, dedicating all his time to his project. He tried to keep busy, knowing that was the only way to let his lonely day pass by but also knowing that the minute a free thought came in his head, Joey would be there.

"Dawson a letter was delivered for you," Kyle, another program student said, handing him a simple white envelope with his name printed on the front. It wasn't addressed to him so someone must have dropped it off.

"Who is it from?" he asked, wrapping the headset around his neck.

"Don't know, a girl, pretty, big eyes," Kyle said, noticing Dawson's head snap up. "She asked me to deliver this and then she was gone."

"Thanks," Dawson stammered, tearing open the envelope, feeling his heart stop as he began to read its contents.

Dawson-

We need to talk. If you're free for lunch, meet me at Rinnie's at 1 p.m. -Joey

A nervous smile crept across Dawson's face. Joey wanted to meet him for lunch. Looking at his watch, he saw it was nearly 12:30p.m. and quickly grabbed his jacket and bag, running out of the office while Jason watched him go with a smile.

The crowd at Rinnie's was fairly calm today and Dawson was nearly out of breath as he approached the outside café, where he and Joey used to meet all the time for lunch. Scanning the crowd for her, he located her sitting in a secluded corner, dressed in a floral printed dress and jean jacket. He stared at her for a minute, noticing she was nervously wringing her hands and he smiled for a first time in a while. She looked over and saw him, giving him a nervous wave and notorious half-smile, calling him over to her.

"Hey," he said, feeling his palms sweat and his heart rate increase. She looked tired but stunning and he suddenly wondered if he could hug her like he used to or what he should do.

"Hey," she said, standing up, almost unconsciously reaching for him but stopping, both staring at each other uncomfortably. With a smile and nervous laugh, they sat down and took in the nervous tension between them.

"Thanks for the note, it made my day," he said shakily, nervously playing with the menu and silverware.

"No problem, it was probably time I stopped acting like a child and avoiding you so we could talk," she laughed, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"You had good reason to avoid me Joey, I probably would have done the same thing," Dawson said, staring her in the eyes.

"Maybe, but ah I needed some time.to think.especially after it happened," she said, wringing her hands tighter.

"It's okay really," Dawson said, trying to catch her eyes again. "It was quite a night, a lot happened."

"Yeah a lot did," she said softly, taking a sip of water, mentally hoping her hand would stop shaking.

"I miss you Joey, I miss you so much.the last few weeks have been really miserable without you and I'm not trying to push you."he started, feeling a bit faint.

"I miss you too," Joey whispered, sneaking a quick look at him.

"So what do we do now? How do we get back to being friends?" he asked nervously. He would do just about anything to get back to their friendship, privately hoping she would still want to be with him.

"Can we go back to being friends after all this Dawson? Can we just be friends after you said you were in love with me? I mean if you still.love me," she said softly.

"Joey I still love you just as much as I have for the last few years, but I didn't know if you still felt.if you still loved me.so if you didn't or weren't sure, I was willing to be friends again.you know start slow," he said.

"Dawson we did more than just say we loved each other, we slept together, and we did it more than once," Joey said softly. "Do you want to just forget about that and go back to platonic signs of affection?"

"I don't know about you Joey but all those signs of affection for the last few years, they haven't been all that platonic on my end," Dawson said, noticing the surprised look on her face. "Every time I held your hand or kissed you cheek, I wanted more. I wanted us to be together, I loved and still love you. What do you want?"

"Okay so maybe mine weren't so platonic all the time either, but I'm just so tired of us fighting, of us hurting one another and never catching a damn break," Joey laughed, seeing Dawson smile and nod lightly.

"Yeah we just can't seem to catch a break can we?" Dawson said bitterly.

"But I think the fact that we still care for one another.that we still love one another after all the hurt and missed timing is something we can't forget either," Joey said, remembering what Jason said the previous night.

"You're right," Dawson said, nodding his head. "So what do we do now? Where do we go from here?"

"I think we just have to go slow and start spending time together to see if we still care enough about each other to be friends or more than friends," Joey said, seeing Dawson trying to contain his relieved and pleased smile.

"So what does that mean, take it slow?" Dawson asked.

"Well it means movie nights, lunches and dinners, slowly working back to what we were before figuring out if we go forward from there," Joey said with half smile. "And no more romantic advice or favors at all!"

"I can definitely agree with you on that," Dawson laughed, running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry I asked you do set me up with someone Dawson, that was unfair of me to put you in that position," Joey said softly, reaching over for his hand, which he gave her gladly.

"No Joey I was wrong to try and set you up with someone you'd hate and it was unfair of me not to be honest with you all along," Dawson said, rubbing his thumb over her hand, staring adoringly at her. "And despite my dishonesty with you, I never lied to you when we were at the wedding or when you came over to my apartment.I love you Joey and I never made love to you with ulterior motives or to be malicious."

"I know Dawson," she said softly, giving him her other hand. "I missed us the last few weeks."

"Me too," he said with a smile, enjoying the light breeze that blew through the café and the feel of her hands in his.