Chapter 3:
The Past is Over

Peeking through the gaps in her fingers, Meraia watched Niyali dodge through the rows of bookshelves in the section of the Library dedicated to the Shadow. Halting, the other girl pulled an old-looking book off the shelf.

Niyali walked over to Meraia's table, book already opened and being studied. Meraia quickly cast her eyes back to the thick volume she was supposed to be looking at.

"Darkfriends are those who have given their souls to serve the Dark One, known to them as the Great Lord of the Dark. They are spread across every land, with no attention to any particular country, rank, or any other means of social setup. They wait for the time that may come when Shayol Ghul is opened--"

Meraia sighed and said, "Niyali, I don't see--"

"Shh! I think I've found something." She scribbled furiously on a scrap of paper.

Meraia rubbed her forehead, exasperated. When Niyali stopped scribbling madly, she continued, "I don't see why you're suddenly looking for information about the--" she paused, glancing around, and lowered her voice "--the Black Ajah."

Niyali raised her head from the book, determination fixed on her face. "We know the truth. You found some sort of spell to look into the past, or something. We know Jhirana is a Darkfriend. We know she is. I saw those weaves. I didn't understand them, really, but I could tell they were meant to show the truth."

Meraia looked at her skeptically. Niyali's face reddened. "We may know Jhirana is a Shadowrunner," Meraia said quietly, "but where did it get us? A visit to Kalare's office." Niyali winced and fingered a welt on her arm.

"We might find something, though," Niyali said, stubborn.

"Come on, Niyali. What are we going to find out about the Black Ajah in the White Tower? The Aes Sedai deny its very existence."

Niyali sighed, determination fading, and rubbed her nose. That was a sign of thoughfulness. "I'll tell you what I found in the morning," she said. "Let's go to sleep."

_ _ _ _ _ *

As the two young women left the Library, returning their books to the shelves, the dark-haired, shorter one putting a scrap of paper in her pocket, the woman in the shadows relaxed. She had been sure they would see her. Oh well. She had work to do--every servant in the Tower did--but she needed to report to her mistress.

_ _ _ _ _ *

Dawn peeped through the window. The noise of a city awakening did as well. But there was nothing from the room next door. She had heard nothing since early that morning, when Meraia heard something about "First Bell" and "go away", and then a steady pulsing of saidar. Nothing.

The door latch into Niyali's room clicked. Meraia jerked into full wakefulness and tensed, ready to embrace the Source and do... something.

There was a noise, like paper being crammed into something small. Then there was a creak--probably the door latch again--and then silence. Meraia noiselessly slid off her bed and went to the peephole in the wall. A tightly rolled piece of parchment blocked it.

Prying the paper out, Meraia bit her lip. There was too little ji in this--even by wetlander standards--for it to be right.

'The girl has been taken to the Black Hills. She was too curious. Curiosity killed the cat. --the Black Ajah'

Yes. This went too far over the borders of even this wetlander ji'e'toh for it to be good for Niyali. Meraia did not like it when ji'e'toh was broken. They would pay.

Thinking hard about who she could go to for help, Meraia's eyes flashed. Then she smiled dangerously. She had to see the Amyrlin.

_ _ _ _ _ *

"But I must see her!" Meraia cried, trying to pull free of the bonds of Air that the Keeper of the Chronicles had held her with.

"Listen to reason, child. Niyali could not possibly have run away."

"She didn't run away! She was taken by the Black Aj--" A block of Air stuffed itself into her mouth, cutting her off. She reached to embrace saidar, only to find that she was shielded.

Meraia strained to see the person shielding her, but couldn't. She slammed herself at the glass wall cutting her off from the True Source, and it shattered easily, to her surprise. She heard gasps from the Keeper and the other woman as well.

Deftly, she spun shields and slammed them into place between the women and the Source, never mind that both of them were already holding saidar. The bonds holding her collapsed, so she ran into the Amyrlin's study.

From behind, before she closed the door, she heard the two Aes Sedai's whispered conversation.

"How did she manage to hold that much?" was the strangled whisper of the woman who had shielded her.

I believe she hadn't quite grown all the way into her power yet. We hadn't asked her to hold all she could since she arrived last month."

"But this late? This fast? It's impossible!"

"Apparently not."

The door closed. The Amyrlin looked up from her stack of papers.

"Mother, my near-sister, Niyali, has been taken by Shadowrunner Aes Sedai," Meraia said urgently.

The Amyrlin looked puzzled for a moment, but then her expression changed to one of frustration. "Shadowrunner means Darkfriend, so you mean the Black Ajah." It was not a question.

"Yes, Mother." Meraia shifted her feet uneasily at what she was about to say. It was most definitely not how one dealt with Wise Ones, and Meraia was sure that the Aes Sedai--who were far more concerned with rank and social standing than she was--would be extra difficult. "Mother, I wish to go after her."

"Nonsense!" the Amyrlin shouted, rising from her elaborate chair. "You don't even have any proof that she was--"

Meraia wordlessly held out the message from the peephole. The Amyrlin snatched it out of her hand, skimming it before grimacing and throwing it onto her desk.

"Still, absolutely not! Don't you understand how dangerous the Black Ajah is for a simple nov--"

"Do I fear danger?" Meraia said haughtily. "Do you mean to take my ji away?" Her jaw tensed ever so slightly, but in an Aiel it was like a harsh drawing of breath meant to control anger. "I have faced many things, things a wetlander would run from as soon as blink, and come out laughing!"

The Amyrlin was all Aes Sedai serenity, but her voice was ice. "No. You will stay here. Your past is over now."

Meraia froze. Those words echoed over her, through her, inside of her. 'Your past is over now...' She would never again dance the spears under the full moon in the harsh wind of the Threefold Land. She could feel it now, dust on her skin, veil over face, spear in hand, pure exhilaration and joy running through her heart. She almost expected to see some fallen foe before her, instead of the Amyrlin, a frown on her face. 'Your past is over now...'

Never again laugh with Kara, her spear-sister, over oosquai. She could feel it again, the smooth glass in hand, cushions under her crossed legs, the coziness of the tent around her, the sweet taste of the oosquai on her tongue, the mirth of what Kara had just said about Stone Dogs running through her mind. 'Your past is over now...'

Meraia blinked, and was startled to find a single tear running down her cheek. The Amyrlin looked at her, concern and sternness warring with each other on her face. As she opened her mouth, Meraia spoke.

"Even if the past is over, I am still who I am. I have toh, and toh must be repaid." The harsh words seemed to distract her from the incessant echoing of the Amyrlin's words, 'Your past is over now...'

"Still," the Amyrlin said, "I forbid you to go."