~          Chapter Three

            "You've got to be kidding." Marty blinked twice. And then again, for good measure.

            "I'm afraid, Marty, that the defining, governing forces of the universe don't kid around. Well, unless you count the whole Noah's Ark thing. That was actually pretty funny."

            Marty determined he was never ever going say that phrase again. Giant floating heads are very disturbing when they are chuckling to themselves. Besides, he was supposed to be the funny one. That Noah's ark comment was just unnerving. A flood that wipes out almost all of mankind. . .  Marty could make better jokes with his wings wrapped around his head. "So I really have to do this?"

            "What did I just say?" The Big Head found its most frequent expression (when dealing with him anyway), which was exasperation. "You must admit that using you as Steve's guardian angel was a somewhat desperate ploy on our parts. I would have just let you go . . . you know, down there, but my cousin can be absolutely relentless."

            "As in your cousin, God." Sometimes Marty was sure that whoever the defining, governing force of the universe was, it was some soul with a sense of humor so much more perverse than Marty's, it would be like comparing those little germy things - amoebas that's it - with elephants.

            "No, don't be silly, HE doesn't care much either way. . . Something about equilibrium within the universal pool. No, my cousin Anubis."

            "Like the dog-thing?" Marty wanted to do the funky Egyptian dance. But he restrained himself. Even for a conversation with the Big Floating Head, this was a little out in left field. Hell, this was past the bleachers.

            "Are you going to do it or not?"

            "Of course I'm going to do it. Time in the sun, pretty alien girls, a chance to talk shop. . ." Maybe someone else could show Marty how to do those really snazzy parlor tricks. Then, he'd have something to show Steve when he got home. "What more could I ask for?"

            "Marty! This is supposed to be an exercise in self-improvement. A chance to better yourself and find the strength of your soul. Not yet another opportunity for you to abuse your powers and engage in debauchery. You are a symbol of a higher goodly power. Not Sabrina Spellman."

            "Sabrina Who?" Marty tilted his head to the side. "The pretty witch girl." Blond, blue, blue eyes. . .

            "Never mind. I'll transport you to the Guardian Academy immediately."

            "No! Wait a minute! What about Steve?"

            "What about Steve?"

            "I mean, now that he's guardian angel-less." Marty stammered. Believing that Steve would be better off without him, and being actually unable to go to Steve. . . Were two very different things.

            "Yes, well, in his case that might actually be an improvement."

            Marty flinched.

            "Don't worry; I'll have someone look in on him." The Big Floating Head snapped its fingers, and Marty disappeared. Rod smiled softly to himself. "Two of each kind of animal. Hilarious." He grinned a little more at the thought that he was the one playing Noah in this cosmic joke, and doing all the matchmaking.