I loved you--and my love, I think, was stronger than to be quite extinct within me yet. But let it not distress you any longer. I would not have you feel the least regret. I loved you bare of hope and of expression. By turns with jealousy and shyness sore. I loved you with such purity, such passion as may God grant you to be loved once more.-Pushkin

Chapter 5

I loved you

As she pulled the trigger, I instinctively lifted one of the hands raking the dirt from my eyes, and hit the gun to the side. The gun went off, but the bullet succeeded only in scraping across my cheek. I didn't have time to think before she lifted the gun again. She struggled with me as I grabbed her wrists. Blood trickled down my cheek, seeping onto the stained floor. My heart was pumping madly.

"MAC, it's Harm!"

She gave an abrupt start, and stilled, sitting there in my lap, surveying me.

"Harm?" Her voice broke upon my name. She placed a cool, white hand on my face in trepidation. Upon feeling the blood slipping from my cheek she violently drew her hand back, and then just collapsed on top of me, clinging fervently. "Oh my God! I'm sorry--I'm so sorry! I thought you were one of the guards."

I placed my arms around her, clenching her fiercely to my chest.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"I was praying someone would help us, but, I never thought you'd be able to come."

"I'm your best friend, Mac. How could you doubt that I would do whatever was in my power to save your life--just as you would for me?"

As she opened her mouth to reply, Gunny signaled from outside that we needed to hurry.

"Come on, we need to get out of here," I urged reluctantly.

She moved from me, and I found myself missing the warmth of her. I called to Gunny to come and help me with Webb. He took the captured guard inside and we bound and gagged him, so he was unable to alert the others. Webb was still unconscious, so Gunny and I each grabbed an arm and a leg and carried him out to the brink of the trees. While we were busy doing this, the guard I knocked out stirred, and saw us attempting to escape.

Mac tried to make it out on her own, but faltered. I peered over my shoulder and ascertained that she was having a hard time walking on her tender limbs, so I ran back and swept her up. The guard rose and gave an alarm as I gingerly carried her out nestled in my arms, amidst the torrential hail of gunfire. I wrapped my body protectively over her weak form and absorbed a bullet in my side. Flinching at the searing pain, I continued rushing to the trees. Mac grabbed the gun from the waist of my jeans and began shooting over my shoulder at the guards.

"We need to get to the Stinger missiles. They were headed towards Green River," Mac shouted to me, over the deafening noise.

Upon finally making it to the land rover Gunny and I had left behind, Gunny and I began changing the tire, while Mac conversed with Webb. I pretended that I was immersed in my task when really, I was straining with all that was in me to hear what they were discussing.

I heard her say to Webb, "Please hold on. . . . I enjoyed being your wife. . . "

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Maybe she did have feelings for him. I dropped the tool I was using and fumbled about on the ground for it. Finally, I handed the tool to Gunny, who returned it to a box. After a moment, I retained some control over the conflicting emotions crashing around in me, and I made my way over to her and Webb.

"Sarah, I need you," Webb informed her weakly.

And then as he tried to tell her more, she hushed him with a gentle kiss. I turned my head in dread not wanting to see, but I turned back, as a man will even when he foresees the expression that he most fears being played out before him--stretching out eternally. I felt guilt tingle in my veins. Guilt because I watched and guilt because, for a moment, I secretly relished animosity toward a good friend. Sensing my presence, she ended the kiss and turned to me with an unreadable countenance.

Then was not the time, however, to worry over personal matters. We needed to get to the missiles. I walked towards that side of the car, and Mac looked at me. She said nothing. She just eyed me with that same strange look and walked away. Had I been a fool to hope that she still secreted, somewhere within her, a spark of that sort of feeling for me?

I could barely stand to talk to Webb right now. He was the reason for all of this. He was the one that wanted her for this mission. He was the one who put her in so much danger. We could've both lost her, for good. And yet, he was also the one that forced me to acknowledge how my love for her. He had been a good friend for many years. He begged me to take care of her. I nodded and turned to walk away.

End of chapter 5