Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
-John Donne 'A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning'
Chapter 10
Valediction
I stared up at the dark, unshaven man, wondering if this same man had anything to do with Mac's disappearance. He scrutinized my leg and then slowly lowered the gun.
"You Harm?" The dark man spoke with a thick accent, his voice roughened by age.
"Do I know you?"
We both eyed each other warily for a moment.
"The name is Jose. Your woman friend asked me to come back and help you. What was her name…?" He gazed at me expectantly. For a moment, I felt surprise and hope plunge through me, but then a morbid uncertainty quickly suppressed the two and I inquired,
"Is Mac okay?"
He grinned broadly, baring a row of surprisingly white teeth.
"That was her name. Yes, she's alive. The thing is my partner thought she was an animal and shot her in the leg. He took her to a hospital in Ciudad del Este."
"That's how you found me."
"You close?"
"She's…my partner, and my closest friend."
Jose watched the expressions flicker across my face and then snorted.
"Friend, huh? She insisted that one of us go back and find you. So, here I am. Now, we need to get you to the hospital before your leg gets any worse."
As I started to rise gingerly from my seated position, my muscles screamed at me thunderously. I stifled the cries of pain, but somehow, he knew and he came over and helped me to his awaiting truck.
It was a long drive to the city. Jose and I really didn't talk much. I was lost in my own world and in my own pain. I think he saw it in my face and decided not to say much. My thoughts dodged back and forth between Webb and Gunny and Mac. I couldn't help thinking as we drew closer to the city, that I was about to find out the fate of a good friend.
Later
"Well, here we are," Jose informed me unnecessarily.
I got out of the truck and someone from the hospital came to help me. They placed me in a wheelchair and took me inside. In my bemused state, I was really not paying much attention to what was happening around me.
After I made it to an examination room, and sat there shifting uncomfortably for a time in one of those flimsy gowns they give you, someone entered the room. I looked up expecting the doctor and found myself looking at Gunny.
"Gunny, you made it," I said trying to get up. I quickly sat back down when I felt a chilly blast of air on my exposed six.
"Yeah, I'm alright. I see that Mac was right about your leg," remarked Gunny.
"Where is she, Gunny? How is she?"
"She's fine. Her gunshot wound was not that bad. She is at VOQ at the moment. She'll want to know you've made it back."
"And Webb?"
Before Gunny could reply, the doctor entered, and Gunny left the room.
After a routine examination, and a couple of tests, the doctor told me that a slight infection had set in. He gave me antibiotics for it and some pain killers. Then he informed me that I was free to go, with the proviso that I came back for a check-up in a few days. And then, Gunny and I made our way to visit Webb.
"How bad is it, Gunny?" Once again, asking the question I was afraid I know the answer to.
"To tell you the truth, sir, the doctors don't think he'll make it, but they have him stabilized, and they told us that they've seen people come out of worse situations. I don't know what all they did to him, but they messed him up bad, sir. Mac wanted to stay by his side when she saw him earlier, but the doctors said that she needed to get some rest. So, I took her back to VOQ. She asked me to call her when they found you. I did so, but she wants an update on how you are."
I nodded and our paths diverged at Webb's room. As Gunny made his way down the quiet hall, I hesitated for a moment at the door, steeling myself before entering. When I got inside, I just stood there for a moment, taking it all in.
I barely recognized the frail, bruised man in the bed. He looked too small to be the man I'd known for so many years. The man that always had a way of making you take notice that he was in the room. The man who always had a witty reply. He could be annoying at times, but I wouldn't trade having such a friend. A friend I deeply respected. He always came through.
I walked over to him and seated myself in the chair next to him. His head was turned toward the window. I wasn't sure if he was awake, until he turned his head to me after a long moment. I didn't know what to say to him at first. What does a man say to a dying friend? There's never an easy answer to that question. Sitting that close to him didn't make it any easier. His hair looked brittle and dull. His cheeks were sallow and slightly sunken in. Tubes seemed to be everywhere, sticking out from his body. He drew in a weak breath, and I noted the haggard expression on his face.
"You look like hell, Rabb," he joked in a low whisper.
"I could say the same for you, Webb."
"Yeah, but you should see the other guy." I saw a familiar sparkle twinkle faintly in the depths of his eyes.
"So, what are you planning to do when they release you?"
"Harm, we both know I don't have much time left." I could hear the pain in his voice, quiet though it was.
"Don't talk like that, Webb. You're not a quitter."
"I never said I was. But, I think it's my time. A man doesn't stay lucky forever. Especially, one in my line of work."
He paused for a moment to rest his voice, and then continued,
"I want you to promise me something, Rabb. If you can get it through that thick skull of yours. It's about Sarah."
"Webb…"
"I know you're in love with her. Hell, the whole world knows. It's not like you can hide it. Trust me, I know how you feel…"
He drifted off again for a moment and I looked up at the EKG machine and saw that his heart rate was slowing, his face marked by incipient fatigue. When he began to speak again, I detected a tone of remorse mixed with determination.
"But, I know that she doesn't feel the same way for me. She only kissed me back there because she knew that I might not make it."
His words were laborious and strained. I had no wish to drain the last bits of life out of him by making him argue with me.
"Webb, we can talk about this later. You…"
Webb extended his hand and grabbed my arm with a surprising ferocity, for a man in his condition.
"See, that's always been your problem, Rabb. It's always later with you. Someday you're going to be lying somewhere like me and realize that all of your 'later's' are gone."
His eyes fluttered, and it took him some time to refocus on my face.
"Promise me that you'll tell her that you love her and--you be good to her."
I promised him that I would do as he asked, and he relaxed. I sat next to him for a moment until finally his wearied body drooped and he closed his exhausted eyes, falling into a deep sleep.
Gunny walked in and peered at Webb. I rose and we silently left the room. In the hallway Gunny informed me,
"She wants to see you."
"Thanks, Gunny."
" I also called the Admiral and updated him on our conditions."
Later at the VOQ
"Damn it, Harm, what took you so long?" she chastised, as I wrapped my arms around her. I held her small form close to mine, while she clung back to me tightly, and said nothing. After a time, we broke apart and she gazed into my eyes searchingly until I finally answered her question.
"Sorry, about that, Mac."
"Harm, what's wrong."
"It's Webb, Mac. I'm sorry to have tell you this, but he--" Already crying, she covered my mouth.
"He's not going to make it, is he, Harm?" Her voice cracked on my name.
"It doesn't look good, right now, Mac."
I cupped her delicate face and used the roughened ridges of my thumb to wipe away a stray tear from her damp pink skin.
"Come on, let's sit down."
We walked over to her bed and I sat myself on its edge. She sat down next to me and buried her head into my shoulder. I brushed my hand over the soft strands of her auburn hair.
"Don't cry, Sarah."
We sat there and I let her cry against me for awhile.
End of chapter 10
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
-John Donne 'A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning'
Chapter 10
Valediction
I stared up at the dark, unshaven man, wondering if this same man had anything to do with Mac's disappearance. He scrutinized my leg and then slowly lowered the gun.
"You Harm?" The dark man spoke with a thick accent, his voice roughened by age.
"Do I know you?"
We both eyed each other warily for a moment.
"The name is Jose. Your woman friend asked me to come back and help you. What was her name…?" He gazed at me expectantly. For a moment, I felt surprise and hope plunge through me, but then a morbid uncertainty quickly suppressed the two and I inquired,
"Is Mac okay?"
He grinned broadly, baring a row of surprisingly white teeth.
"That was her name. Yes, she's alive. The thing is my partner thought she was an animal and shot her in the leg. He took her to a hospital in Ciudad del Este."
"That's how you found me."
"You close?"
"She's…my partner, and my closest friend."
Jose watched the expressions flicker across my face and then snorted.
"Friend, huh? She insisted that one of us go back and find you. So, here I am. Now, we need to get you to the hospital before your leg gets any worse."
As I started to rise gingerly from my seated position, my muscles screamed at me thunderously. I stifled the cries of pain, but somehow, he knew and he came over and helped me to his awaiting truck.
It was a long drive to the city. Jose and I really didn't talk much. I was lost in my own world and in my own pain. I think he saw it in my face and decided not to say much. My thoughts dodged back and forth between Webb and Gunny and Mac. I couldn't help thinking as we drew closer to the city, that I was about to find out the fate of a good friend.
Later
"Well, here we are," Jose informed me unnecessarily.
I got out of the truck and someone from the hospital came to help me. They placed me in a wheelchair and took me inside. In my bemused state, I was really not paying much attention to what was happening around me.
After I made it to an examination room, and sat there shifting uncomfortably for a time in one of those flimsy gowns they give you, someone entered the room. I looked up expecting the doctor and found myself looking at Gunny.
"Gunny, you made it," I said trying to get up. I quickly sat back down when I felt a chilly blast of air on my exposed six.
"Yeah, I'm alright. I see that Mac was right about your leg," remarked Gunny.
"Where is she, Gunny? How is she?"
"She's fine. Her gunshot wound was not that bad. She is at VOQ at the moment. She'll want to know you've made it back."
"And Webb?"
Before Gunny could reply, the doctor entered, and Gunny left the room.
After a routine examination, and a couple of tests, the doctor told me that a slight infection had set in. He gave me antibiotics for it and some pain killers. Then he informed me that I was free to go, with the proviso that I came back for a check-up in a few days. And then, Gunny and I made our way to visit Webb.
"How bad is it, Gunny?" Once again, asking the question I was afraid I know the answer to.
"To tell you the truth, sir, the doctors don't think he'll make it, but they have him stabilized, and they told us that they've seen people come out of worse situations. I don't know what all they did to him, but they messed him up bad, sir. Mac wanted to stay by his side when she saw him earlier, but the doctors said that she needed to get some rest. So, I took her back to VOQ. She asked me to call her when they found you. I did so, but she wants an update on how you are."
I nodded and our paths diverged at Webb's room. As Gunny made his way down the quiet hall, I hesitated for a moment at the door, steeling myself before entering. When I got inside, I just stood there for a moment, taking it all in.
I barely recognized the frail, bruised man in the bed. He looked too small to be the man I'd known for so many years. The man that always had a way of making you take notice that he was in the room. The man who always had a witty reply. He could be annoying at times, but I wouldn't trade having such a friend. A friend I deeply respected. He always came through.
I walked over to him and seated myself in the chair next to him. His head was turned toward the window. I wasn't sure if he was awake, until he turned his head to me after a long moment. I didn't know what to say to him at first. What does a man say to a dying friend? There's never an easy answer to that question. Sitting that close to him didn't make it any easier. His hair looked brittle and dull. His cheeks were sallow and slightly sunken in. Tubes seemed to be everywhere, sticking out from his body. He drew in a weak breath, and I noted the haggard expression on his face.
"You look like hell, Rabb," he joked in a low whisper.
"I could say the same for you, Webb."
"Yeah, but you should see the other guy." I saw a familiar sparkle twinkle faintly in the depths of his eyes.
"So, what are you planning to do when they release you?"
"Harm, we both know I don't have much time left." I could hear the pain in his voice, quiet though it was.
"Don't talk like that, Webb. You're not a quitter."
"I never said I was. But, I think it's my time. A man doesn't stay lucky forever. Especially, one in my line of work."
He paused for a moment to rest his voice, and then continued,
"I want you to promise me something, Rabb. If you can get it through that thick skull of yours. It's about Sarah."
"Webb…"
"I know you're in love with her. Hell, the whole world knows. It's not like you can hide it. Trust me, I know how you feel…"
He drifted off again for a moment and I looked up at the EKG machine and saw that his heart rate was slowing, his face marked by incipient fatigue. When he began to speak again, I detected a tone of remorse mixed with determination.
"But, I know that she doesn't feel the same way for me. She only kissed me back there because she knew that I might not make it."
His words were laborious and strained. I had no wish to drain the last bits of life out of him by making him argue with me.
"Webb, we can talk about this later. You…"
Webb extended his hand and grabbed my arm with a surprising ferocity, for a man in his condition.
"See, that's always been your problem, Rabb. It's always later with you. Someday you're going to be lying somewhere like me and realize that all of your 'later's' are gone."
His eyes fluttered, and it took him some time to refocus on my face.
"Promise me that you'll tell her that you love her and--you be good to her."
I promised him that I would do as he asked, and he relaxed. I sat next to him for a moment until finally his wearied body drooped and he closed his exhausted eyes, falling into a deep sleep.
Gunny walked in and peered at Webb. I rose and we silently left the room. In the hallway Gunny informed me,
"She wants to see you."
"Thanks, Gunny."
" I also called the Admiral and updated him on our conditions."
Later at the VOQ
"Damn it, Harm, what took you so long?" she chastised, as I wrapped my arms around her. I held her small form close to mine, while she clung back to me tightly, and said nothing. After a time, we broke apart and she gazed into my eyes searchingly until I finally answered her question.
"Sorry, about that, Mac."
"Harm, what's wrong."
"It's Webb, Mac. I'm sorry to have tell you this, but he--" Already crying, she covered my mouth.
"He's not going to make it, is he, Harm?" Her voice cracked on my name.
"It doesn't look good, right now, Mac."
I cupped her delicate face and used the roughened ridges of my thumb to wipe away a stray tear from her damp pink skin.
"Come on, let's sit down."
We walked over to her bed and I sat myself on its edge. She sat down next to me and buried her head into my shoulder. I brushed my hand over the soft strands of her auburn hair.
"Don't cry, Sarah."
We sat there and I let her cry against me for awhile.
End of chapter 10
