Sometimes when things get overly rough. When they get to loud. When I can
no longer tell IF I am still me. I think... Who is me? What is me? This
body? These hands, trying to bring me back to life? These ideas trying to
make up for all the things that its caused me?
I can't see right now. And I don't care. I'm lost in the sea of blank solitude. In the silence.
Everyone takes it for granted. The quiet of their minds. Well, not that thier minds are quiet, its just they don't have everyone's thoughts running threw yours as well. Made it to where you fear people due to how you respond to them. To the yelling of the thoughts and the thoughts overwhelming the others making you lose what you really are deep inside.
Come again?
Someone is talking. Telling this 'Me' to open the eyes. To achknowlage that I am someone. But do I want to be this 'someone' they are trying to make me go back to? Can I not just exist in this quietness...
This utter and completly filled black void filled with all my emotions. All me. Just me. No one else. Everything.... me....
Call me just a tad bit, well, selfish about this. But you go threw life having to not only worring about just your own problems, but everyone else's problems. With yours. I would sometimes just.. just wish it all away. And now... now floating in this sea of black, I can be just me. I do not need a 'body' to exist. I am a something here. I am one.
And One am I always to be HERE.
But they keep calling. Familar voices, reaching out to me. Calling for me to open my eyes. For me to see the light. And to go back to the body that I am suppose to inhabit. But I don't want to. I never want to inhabit a body again.
I want to be this meaningless existance where I can think for my own. Where I am my own. No one can touch me. No one can make the voices come back. I am so far from them...
Concern. Pittiful concern from one of them. They want me to come back to them quickly before they give up on me. Before I am finally completly gone from them. And all I want right now... is to be left alone.
But this concern. I know it.... its from someone who doesn't show expressions of emotions.
I am no empath. Why the fuck am I feeling this person's emotions?
We're sincronizing with each other. I can tell when his heart beats. Its faster than mine. Two beats to every one of mine.
"... ey... ope..."
I can hear again. I can feel pain shooting threw my body. I want to yell out in pain. But I can't tell if I have something to yell with.
The voice.
The voices return.
Slowly one by one they march into the brain, asking for things. Asking for attention. Asking for promises to be broken, for when they will break up with their current lover, asking for the prize, hopeing for the birth of a healthy child.
A normal child...
Something I never was.
I picture myself as a child. Almost bald looking due to light blonde hair and green eyes...
I remember. My life. My promise to myself that I would never leave myself and let the voices overtake me. I am stronger than that! I have to be stronger than that cause tahts just me. Cause I am the one that will always be knowing what others think on the inside.
"Open... ur eyes...."
They snap quickly. Opening to peer into the brownish gold gaze of Bradley Crawford. Who gave me a evil upon evil glares. A weak smile passes over my lips... I really should watch where bullets are flying...
____----====----_____
Owari...
Kalli- WAHH!!! Its finished!! Yay!!
Miguel- don't be to happyabout it. Remember your suppose to be grounded
Kalli- you just hush. I need to be happy about something!!
Miguel- erm... I don't thikn you should be.
Miguel- jeez... work work work thats all I've been doing lately!
Kalli- shut up and just end this stupid thing so I can get some sleep.
Miguel- *sighs, and turns to look at the reader* Thank you so much for taking your time to read my... erm.... lil random thought thing about Schu. Erm... please review if its not to much to ask for, since I know this must be totally out of character. But thanks again!!
I can't see right now. And I don't care. I'm lost in the sea of blank solitude. In the silence.
Everyone takes it for granted. The quiet of their minds. Well, not that thier minds are quiet, its just they don't have everyone's thoughts running threw yours as well. Made it to where you fear people due to how you respond to them. To the yelling of the thoughts and the thoughts overwhelming the others making you lose what you really are deep inside.
Come again?
Someone is talking. Telling this 'Me' to open the eyes. To achknowlage that I am someone. But do I want to be this 'someone' they are trying to make me go back to? Can I not just exist in this quietness...
This utter and completly filled black void filled with all my emotions. All me. Just me. No one else. Everything.... me....
Call me just a tad bit, well, selfish about this. But you go threw life having to not only worring about just your own problems, but everyone else's problems. With yours. I would sometimes just.. just wish it all away. And now... now floating in this sea of black, I can be just me. I do not need a 'body' to exist. I am a something here. I am one.
And One am I always to be HERE.
But they keep calling. Familar voices, reaching out to me. Calling for me to open my eyes. For me to see the light. And to go back to the body that I am suppose to inhabit. But I don't want to. I never want to inhabit a body again.
I want to be this meaningless existance where I can think for my own. Where I am my own. No one can touch me. No one can make the voices come back. I am so far from them...
Concern. Pittiful concern from one of them. They want me to come back to them quickly before they give up on me. Before I am finally completly gone from them. And all I want right now... is to be left alone.
But this concern. I know it.... its from someone who doesn't show expressions of emotions.
I am no empath. Why the fuck am I feeling this person's emotions?
We're sincronizing with each other. I can tell when his heart beats. Its faster than mine. Two beats to every one of mine.
"... ey... ope..."
I can hear again. I can feel pain shooting threw my body. I want to yell out in pain. But I can't tell if I have something to yell with.
The voice.
The voices return.
Slowly one by one they march into the brain, asking for things. Asking for attention. Asking for promises to be broken, for when they will break up with their current lover, asking for the prize, hopeing for the birth of a healthy child.
A normal child...
Something I never was.
I picture myself as a child. Almost bald looking due to light blonde hair and green eyes...
I remember. My life. My promise to myself that I would never leave myself and let the voices overtake me. I am stronger than that! I have to be stronger than that cause tahts just me. Cause I am the one that will always be knowing what others think on the inside.
"Open... ur eyes...."
They snap quickly. Opening to peer into the brownish gold gaze of Bradley Crawford. Who gave me a evil upon evil glares. A weak smile passes over my lips... I really should watch where bullets are flying...
____----====----_____
Owari...
Kalli- WAHH!!! Its finished!! Yay!!
Miguel- don't be to happyabout it. Remember your suppose to be grounded
Kalli- you just hush. I need to be happy about something!!
Miguel- erm... I don't thikn you should be.
Miguel- jeez... work work work thats all I've been doing lately!
Kalli- shut up and just end this stupid thing so I can get some sleep.
Miguel- *sighs, and turns to look at the reader* Thank you so much for taking your time to read my... erm.... lil random thought thing about Schu. Erm... please review if its not to much to ask for, since I know this must be totally out of character. But thanks again!!
