Author's Note: Fic about Simon and River's childhood for the LJ ff_friday challenge. (Also my first time writing Sane!River, as opposed to the tortured girl we saw on the show.) Subject: use the following exchange: "What do you want?" "I want it all. I want everything." "You're not going to get it." Length: 996 words; I just barely kept it under the limit!
They Took Away Christmas
By Trisana McGraw
Sighing, Simon rolled over. The voices of his father and sister came from the next room, too low for him to distinguish any words but loud enough to keep him awake. He pulled the silk pillow over his head, but he could still pick up faint murmurs.
With an exasperated groan, he flung the pillow off his head and sat up in bed. He barely got enough sleep at the hospital, what with the day-long operations that left him drained and the endless calls that came at the worst times of night.
He wasn't saying he disliked being a doctor. It was his calling; that was crystal-clear. He just wished that when he came home for the Christmas holiday, he could catch some extra hours of sleep without a family quarrel keeping him awake.
Things at home seemed to have worsened since he had left for the MedAcad a few years ago. River was left alone with their parents, though she did have school during the week, and they were working or at some social function for the rest of the time. However, every time he'd come home for vacation, he'd felt a palpable relief in the air. More often than not, River directed stony glares at their father, who still spoke her to patronizingly even though she was nearly fourteen years old.
Expelling a heavy sigh and shoving the covers aside, Simon slipped through the doorway and walked toward where he thought the sounds were coming from, thinking up a polite way to ask them to shut up.
The door to his parents' room was closed; he imagined his mother was sleeping peacefully. She'd looked wearier since the last time he'd been home, and he wondered what kind of toll this stress was taking on her.
Simon paused in the hallway as he heard the River and his father on the other side of the wall. He peeked around the edge, feeling, for some reason, like a little boy snooping around somewhere he wasn't supposed to be.
The two of them were in the family room, which was actually rather ironic because the feelings between them were anything but familial. Their father, wearing his dressing gown, sat on the couch, staring at a newspaper. River stood over him in her nightgown, her long hair cascading over her shoulders. Simon was about to step into the room when River's words stopped him.
"Why don't you give me more credit?" she demanded. "I'm gifted, just like Simon."
"At what?" Gabriel Tam scoffed. "Dancing? You'll never go anywhere in the universe if all you can do is move your feet to music."
"I can do math, too!" River protested, her voice rising. "And I read at a higher level than most of my teachers! I know so much about science, too –"
"Hush, child!" Gabriel hissed, flinging his newspaper aside and sitting up straighter. "Do you want to wake the entire household?"
"That's all you treat me as, a child!" River shot back. "But I'm not. You just won't give me a chance. You let Simon be what he wanted."
"No, Simon became a doctor because we, your mother and I, wanted him to," her father replied. "It just happened that he liked it as well."
Simon frowned, suddenly feeling lost, unsure of what to believe.
"Well, then, what about me?" River asked furiously. "What am I supposed to do? I have the talent, just let me use it."
"You will," Gabriel told her. "I've written away to the Academy, on another world. Maybe they'll take you in."
"You're just sending me away?" River shrieked. Gabriel sprang to his feet and grabbed her shoulders. He shook her roughly as tears began to trickle down her cheeks. "What about what I want?"
"All right, what do you want?" he demanded.
"I want it all," she answered, her voice catching on a sob. "I want everything."
"You're not going to get it," her father said, "so you may as well stop entertaining the fantasy."
River jerked out of his grip. "Simon has everything," she said. "An important job, the admiration of everyone around him. He isn't trapped at home waiting for his life to begin." With that, she stomped out, her hair flying behind her. Simon pressed himself into the curve of the wall, holding his breath. Gabriel sighed and passed a hand over his face; then he gathered up his newspaper and slowly walked towards his room. It wasn't until the house was entirely still that Simon crept back to his room. He climbed into bed and pulled the covers up tightly, as the silence seemed to press inwards. There were no voices disturbing him, but he still couldn't find sleep.
The way in which River regarded their father the next day was icier than the snow outside, and Regan Tam and Simon were left with the difficult task of inserting some Christmas cheer into their troubled family.
On Christmas morning, River received a letter from the Academy welcoming her to join for the new semester. She read the letter to herself in silence, and when she announced the good news, her joy seemed hollow.
"Isn't this wonderful?" Regan gushed, hugging her daughter. "What a lovely Christmas gift. Oh, I can't wait to tell Isabelle; she'll be so envious that her child didn't make it into such a prestigious school." She looked expectantly to Gabriel, who sat at the head of the table reading his newspaper. He'd looked up only once, when River had announced her enrollment.
"There, you see?" he told his daughter. "Here's the beginning of your life.'"
River's face slowly lit up, but now Simon wasn't sure of her real reason for wanting to go to the Academy. He didn't know if she really looked forward to opportunities for a brighter future, or if she were just eager to leave behind her home. If her reason really were the latter, he realized he couldn't blame her.
