Black and White
By: Nagi
Pairings: Kyo/Yuki
Rating: PG (angst)
Notes: I haven't seen all of the series... just bits and pieces. But I have seen the last 3 episodes so I know the end and it made me so sad! ;_; Poor Kyo no da!!! In the anime, Kyo's bracelet is black and white while in the manga, it's red and white no da. I've only seen the anime no da. First person POV, shonen-ai, angst, short one-shot (unless I can think of a way to make another part no da), spoilers.... big ones.
~~~~~~~~
White, black, white, black, white, black. On and on and over and over. The same old colors on the same old bracelet that I have to wear every day just so that I can be normal... well, as normal as any person under the Juunishi curse can be.
Why did I have to be the cat? If everyone had a chance to be the cat in the Sohma family, why did it have to be me? Why couldn't it have been that kuso nezumi?! Useless questions with nonexistent answers, as always. Depressing thoughts that swirl around my head in a never ending circle. Like the beads on my bracelet seal.
Then my thoughts usually take another well worn course of thought, it's all that damn mouse's fault! At least, it's supposed to be. I guess I never really thought of why I hate that rat so much, just that it was expected of me because I am the cat. I'm in a tired and depressed mood... maybe that's why I'm not over the top with anger right now for thinking about what that kuso nezumi has done to me! Wait... what has he done to me? As a person, and not as the original mouse from the legend. He's beaten me sure, but admittedly, I usually start the fights. He's insulted me, but again, that's usually because of something I did or said to make him angry. I suppose we'll just keep making each other mad by just existing until we die..... or at least, until I'm put away to rot in a cell for the rest of my life. That's too depressing a thought...
Do I really want that? The anger and hate, I mean. Of course I don't want to be put away for the rest of my miserable life! Yuki..... sometimes, especially around Tohru, he looks so happy. He never looks happy if he's aware that I'm any where near him. I wish he would. He... actually looks kinda cute when he smiles.. Wait! Did I just say cute?! Yuki?!?
...
I.... suppose he is kinda nice looking.. if he's not in the mood he's always in around me. Then he looks like a permanently aggravated beast just waiting to take someone's head off, usually mine. I wonder how long I've subconsciously thought Yuki was cute. Probably since Tohru came. She just kinda seems to bring the best out of everyone. Yuki has certainly been nicer since she came along. We don't fight nearly as much as we did at first. Sometimes he even tolerates my presence.
I wonder if Yuki really hates me. Like I thought I hated him. Is it the same unfounded malice that mine turned out to be? Or have I actually done something that made him angry? There's that anger again. Maybe I should try to control it more when I'm around Yuki as well as around Tohru. But, will I ever be able to beat Yuki if I actually feel for him what I think I'm feeling now? I don't think so. So is resigning myself to these feelings, resigning myself to a cut-off life in the loneliness of a prison when I've done no wrong, merely been born? No! There has to be a way! I won't just disappear like all the other Juunishi cats! And I won't give up on being able to love someone!
Love?
....That must be it. I love Yuki. And there's no turning back now.
~End~
Wow! I just woke up, put on my Kyo bracelet and BAM!! The Idea hit me! ^-^ And I finished it! ^_____^ Poor angsty Kyo! ;_; I didn't know how to make him feel better in the end so that's why I broke my record of only writing things with happy endings no da. Go a head and comment if you like! Or didn't like no da. ^_^;;;
~Nagi
