Chapter 3 - Tea with Hermione
A/N: A big, big thanks to my beta reader Ramos who has helped me so much!
Many thanks to everyone who reviewed -- it really helps me keep going to know that you are out there!
It's all Rowling's, except what you don't recognize.
&&&
Hermione dropped her rucksack on her friend's couch and walked through the tiny apartment. Now would be the time to finally let go and cry her eyes out. She'd called her friend Jeanine from the bus station, only to be asked to pick up a spare set of keys to the flat from the crazy cat lady across the hall and let herself in. Jeanine's boyfriend had wanted her to spend the night at his place, depriving Hermione of her confidant. Then again, if she couldn't explain to wizards and witches what had happened, how would she explain it to a muggle friend?
As much as she needed to cry, she felt too emotionally drained to do anything but sit on the bed and stare at the cracked and peeling walls while thinking of all the reasons why she should just head back to Hogwarts; Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hagrid, and Crookshanks. The N.E.W.T.s.
And then she thought of Snape, or rather the two Snapes. One man was the monster of her childhood and the other man - she didn't want to think about it. She could never go back, not the way she felt: it would show too clearly to the world.
Whatever had gone on that evening, and she still didn't understand it, had divided her completely. Her emotions were split so evenly between hatred of the man who had burdened her and compassion for the poor bastard that her head would spin whenever she thought about him. She could not conceive of being in the same room with him or even under the same roof. Because if she could, she would run to him, and then he'd only shout at her, "Silly girl, it's your imagination." And then she'd die. Well, she might kill him first. She very well couldn't sit the N.E.W.T.s in this condition, so it wasn't even worth thinking about. Damn. She hadn't asked for this: to be torn apart and her life destroyed by the events of one evening. It wasn't fair.
She fell asleep while planning the best way to sneak into Gringotts without being spotted by anyone she knew.
She was dreaming that Snape was the owner of a coffee shop and she had just dropped a whole tray full of dishes. She had already burnt the toast and slopped hot tea on a customer's lap. He was yelling at her and then she awoke. She had heard something. She was sure that someone was in the flat with her. Looking out of the bedroom, she noticed that the light was on in the kitchen and she felt a chill run down her spine. She was sure she'd turned it off. Had Jeanine changed her mind? She got up and slowly snuck down the hallway to the kitchen. There she saw a tall, funny looking witch wearing dark glasses standing at the kitchen table. She was sipping coffee and had a milk foam mustache on her top lip.
"Ah, you're up, Hermione. Excellent. Care for an herbal tea?" She motioned to a take-out cup on the table.
"And who might you be?" Hermione demanded.
"Just think of me as your fairy godmother. I'm here to grant you three wishes."
"Come on, really. Who sent you? How did you find me?"
"Sorry, I'm not the answer lady, just the wish fulfillment fairy. Take it or leave it."
"How can I trust you?"
"Ah, I knew that one was coming." She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled. And in walked….
"Professor Lupin?"
"Hello Hermione. It's good to see you."
"I'm sure you remember your old Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," said Iolanthe with a smug look.
Hermione hugged him and burst into tears. She felt so grateful to have someone there from her old life. She'd never been so lonely as she was in the past few weeks. In the safety of his arms, she could finally let go.
"There, there old girl. Things will be fine now. We'll sort it all out together," Lupin gently told her.
"That's right. I really do believe you can write your own ticket on this one," purred Iolanthe.
Hermione sniffed and blew her nose into the handkerchief gallantly provided by Lupin. "You think so? I can't go back there. I can't face all those people after what happened."
"The blighter, he'll pay for this."
"What?"
"Umm. Remus, you've jumped to a wrong conclusion. Nix on the making Snape pay stuff. He didn't do anything."
"Didn't do anything?" Said a suddenly indignant Hermione.
"Well, he saved your life and kissed your palm."
"That's all he did?" Lupin stared. "Well, you've lost me."
"There was a bit more," ventured Iolanthe.
"Do tell." Said Lupin.
"Yes, do tell us," said Hermione who wasn't quite ready yet to trust this witch. They both expectantly stared at Iolanthe.
Nothing like a bit of pressure, thought Iolanthe. She cleared her throat. "Well, first I was contacted in my capacity as an aura reader to locate you. And we used a pensieve and, well, there was a little matter of something I witnessed in it. I don't really know for sure all the ramifications…."
"Well, perhaps I can help you interpret what you saw, Miss Iolanthe?" Lupin said with a twinkle in his eye.
Great, we're back to last names again, she thought, not realizing that Lupin was teasing her. "Hmmm. It was a soul mating."
"I knew it!" shouted Hermione. "And he was trying to act like nothing happened. But it did. Does that mean there will never be anyone--?"
"That's just legend. No one's ever witnessed that." Lupin cut off Hermione before she could head any further down that slippery slope.
"I just said I did, Mr. Lupin," snorted Iolanthe. She briefly wondered how they had begun rowing and what that actually meant about her current non-relationship with Remus.
"I've known Snape since boyhood." Lupin said feeling more than a bit of discomfort. He remembered how Snape had forced his hand about resigning from Hogwarts, even though he probably would have resigned anyway. Snape was incredibly heavy-handed in his dealings with others. "While I try to be charitable towards him because he has done me a good turn or two, I'm not sure that he even has a soul that anyone could mate with.
"Oh that's unfair, he has a lovely soul," Iolanthe said with some heat.
"That's right. Once I saw his true self." Hermione admitted.
"True self? True self? Why is it always the broody, nasty ones who get all the attention?" Lupin looked disgusted.
"I don't know, maybe it has something to do with suffering and redemption?" Iolanthe shrugged.
"Oh right, and like I haven't suffered? I just don't go around trying to seduce girls half my age."
"Mr. Lupin, you might take a care to remember that I was barely 23 and you over 30 when we met." Iolanthe finished her coffee in one huge gulp. "Scratch that. This conversation is counterproductive, unprofessional and I insist we get back on topic of how to sort out Ms. Granger's problems in a manner satisfactory to all involved." Iolanthe was pulling rank and it felt damned good.
"Well, of course, Miss Iolanthe. We wish to please." Lupin drawled and he turned to Hermione. "Now dear. What would it take to get your life back on track?"
Hermione blinked. She hadn't really had the luxury of considering what she wanted. She'd been too wrapped up in running away from what she didn't want. "Well. I, I'm not sure. I just know that I can't go back to Hogwarts. I don't want to see him."
"Very sensible, Ms. Granger." Lupin said, trying not to be too self-congratulatory. "But you do want to sit your N.E.W.T.s?"
"Do you think that would be possible, without being at Hogwarts?" Hermione felt a huge weight beginning to lift.
"I think it's feasible. You could sit the exams off-site. I could talk to Dumbledore and see if he'd allow it. I can't really think why he'd object."
"Oh, and we need a safe house as well. It seems, according to Snape, that she could be in danger from the attentions of uncaught Death Eaters."
"That man is so paranoid. He's going to be seeing Death Eaters under his bed for years."
"You don't think it's a problem?" Asked Iolanthe.
"No, but we can ask to be on the safe side."
"Good-O. Well, when do you think you can do it? It's rather late."
"Actually, knowing Dumbledore he'll probably meet me at the castle door with a cuppa and scones for a late night snack."
"Well, that's fine then," said Iolanthe.
"Yes," said Lupin.
"Yes," said Iolanthe. There was a pause and Lupin stepped forward, took her face in his hands, and kissed her. Then he was gone.
"Hullo, I think he fancies you."
"Do tell. I really didn't see that one coming. I think I'm in shock. The problem is that he's really good at disapparation, if you take my meaning. Do you think this place has any tea? I could use a Lapsang Oolong right now."
Hermione stopped. Didn't she just finish a drink? "I don't think so, but I could look." Hermione started opening cupboards.
"So tell me Hermione," Iolanthe needed to figure something out. "If you had the choice between being married to Snape or having him naked, covered in treacle and tied over a Brimstone Dragon-Ant mound. Which would you choose?"
"Neither. I just want to get through my N.E.W.T.s. I don't want to think about him at all. I mean, until that whatever-you-said happened I didn't even like him. Well, I respected him and I thought there were times that he was rather witty. But now, I just feel so horribly confused. You did see what happened? I felt it. All of a sudden he wasn't Snape anymore and I wasn't me." Her verbal outpouring suddenly ceased, and she frowned pensively. "Do you think that maybe enough toxin entered my bloodstream that day to cause me to become delusional?"
"Well, I can't guarantee it didn't." Iolanthe felt taken aback not just by the odd intensity of the girl, but something just wasn't making sense. "Your attitude is very sensible, maybe more sensible than mine... But, in the pensieve you said you loved him."
"No, I never said that."
Stranger and stranger. Iolanthe decided to get to safe ground. "Ahem, so what are you planning after your N.E.W.T.s?"
"Hmm. Well, I'm going to have to make-up with my friends. I guess I must have hurt them pretty badly. Oh here, I found some Ty-phoo instant, will that do?"
Iolanthe shuddered. "All right, beggars can't be choosers."
"But to get back to what we were saying," Hermione continued as she filled the electric kettle. "I want to head up to Cambridge early and just have some time to myself. All my illusions have shattered about who I am and who he is, or was. Suddenly, everything I knew about the nature of reality and magic can't be trusted anymore. Every time I try to think about it, I just feel myself suffocate. I really need to get to the library and do some research on this matter."
"Certainly, if I can be of any help, please contact me via floo, owl or even muggle fax. Here's my card." She brought out from her pocket a pink origami flamingo with writing on it. It came to life, flew around the room once and then landed in Hermione's hand. "Your case is so interesting that I will gladly help you gratis or, well, maybe a meal out and a few drinks as payment." She removed her dark glasses and massaged her red-rimmed eyes.
Hermione handed her a mug, the Ty-phoo tea and a spoon. She then decided to be a sticky beak and poke her nose in. "What about you and Remus?"
Iolanthe sighed. "Do you really want to hear this?" Hermione nodded. "For the last twelve years, there was no me and Remus. I ran into him last week and rockets went off, just like old times. Then I don't hear from him again, until tonight when I find out he gave me a job reference for your case. And just now, I have no idea what went on. It's embarrassing."
"I assume you know about his… condition?"
"Yes, though he sounds healthier than he used to." Iolanthe found and unplugged the whistling kettle and quietly made her tea.
"Until not long ago, I didn't believe aura readers were for real. Relationships must be sort of awkward for readers."
"You're right. Unless two readers wind up with each other, but unfortunately there's a dearth of male readers. I always figured that I'd eventually get myself a cat, or maybe a half dozen cats. And then Quinn showed up."
"Oooh. Who's Quinn?"
"Don't get excited. We're just friends and business partners. But I do divide my life into pre-Quinn and post-Quinn."
"Do you think Prof. Lupin is jealous?"
"I wouldn't know. To be honest, I can't read through his curse. You tell me, is it irony or cause and effect? The two people I'm closest too are also the ones I can't read."
"Hmm. I wonder if…"
Hermione was interrupted by the reappearance of Lupin, carrying a tin of Lapsang Oolong and a whole package of Penguin Bars. "A present, ladies, from Dumbledore. He was delighted to see me and it's all set."
"That was quick," said Iolanthe.
"It was pretty obvious he was expecting me. He gave me this port key," he waved a lemon sherbet fountain wrapper, "for a safe cottage in Hogsmeade -- three bedrooms complete with a house elf. Oh, Hermione, you don't still have a problem with H.E.'s, do you?"
She rolled her eyes. "When am I ever going to live it down?"
"So are you ready? The port key goes in less than 5 minutes."
"Oh, I've got to leave a note for Jeanine." Hermione went into the bedroom and put back the few items she had begun to unpack. She then started rummaging in a desk drawer for a biro and paper.
"You're coming with us?" Remus moved closer to Iolanthe.
"No. I think you can take it from here, but keep a good eye on her." She kept her voice low. "Something's not adding up about all this. I need to think. You have your advance so go ahead and earn it; I'm going home. I want to sleep in my own bed tonight."
"Fine," said Lupin mildly. "Oh, and Dumbledore said he'd send someone by to chaperone at the cottage." He simply stood next to her, not touching, in an awkward silence. Iolanthe studiously ignored him.
A few minutes later Hermione and Lupin said their good-byes and she was alone.
Well, he handled that remarkably well, thought Iolanthe as she apparated home. Quinn was still up watching a Fred and Ginger DVD. Since pookas don't need to sleep, Quinn was the Golden Oldies DVD Club's best customer.
"How'd it go?" asked Quinn.
"Fine, like clockwork," sighed Iolanthe. "I'm tired and heading to bed. Damn, I forgot the tin of tea. Well, try not to eat all the Penguin bars, save me a couple."
"Right you are. Sweet dreams, Viola."
"Ta, Quinn." She kissed him on the top of his large, white, furry head and went to her bedroom. Within minutes she was sound asleep.
&&&
Please do read and review.
