Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. If I did they would be much more messed up than this. You've been warned.

Um, this will be a get to the point chapter.hope you like it. Oh, and I'm making up spells. This is also the rewritten version of the chapter.

The Great Hall of Love, Hermione's Heartbreak

Weeks later Hermione was still reeling from the things Harry had told her about Luna. Sure she had Ron to comfort her and tell her everything would be ok, but she didn't have Harry in her arms to cuddle her and tell her she was the sweetest, cutest, and smartest girl in the world. She just couldn't get over his Quarterback smile and floppy black hair. Heck, this was even getting in the way of her studying.

For the past couple of weeks Harry had been spending a lot of time with Luna. They figured out how to spend as much time as possible together during breaks without being late to class. Harry and Luna would head out to the fields during break to "study" and just talk for hours on end. Luna showed up at all the Quidditch games to cheer on Harry and Hermione was getting sick of it.

One night, Harry didn't show up to dinner. Hermione sat down next to Ron, like she usually did, and asked him where Harry was. Ron shrugged and suggested that he was probably working on homework or having a detention and told her not to worry about it.

"But Harry never misses dinner, Ron!" Hermione exclaimed, "He must be in some deep shit tonight in order to miss dinner!"

"I'm sure he's ok Hermione, he can fucking take care of himself!" Ron said calmly. "Dammit! Spinach casserole again! Can't they have any good food?"

Hermione got nervous; it was the first time Harry had gone missing like this. She really just wanted him to be there. She sat and ate silently for a while. Suddenly, she got up to look for Luna. Luna was gone too.

"Ron, some bad shit is going down here. Luna has gone missing too. Are you sure you didn't see him get captured and butt raped by some deranged Death Eater or something?" Hermione chattered.

"Hermione, it can't be that bad! Look, let's just get your mind off of this topic. How was your potions class today?"

"Awful! I have to sit there and watch him blubber around like a heffalump (thank A.A. Milne for that one). Then I have to remember that he is not in love with me, but Looney Luna."

"You know.if you got to know her you might like her more."

"Oh yeah, a girl who believes everything she's told and always stands up for him, even when he's wrong. Like he needs anymore of an ego!"

"Ok, this may have been a bad..Oh look, Dumbledore's getting up to speak!"

Everyone grew silent as Dumbledore began, "This year has already been a tough year for most of us." but suddenly there was a sound that could be heard around the room. It was almost inaudible at first, but suddenly it could be heard all around..

"Oh yeah.that's it.harder baby.oooooo.yes, yes, yes!"

Suddenly people began asking across tables and all around, "What is that noise?" sometimes whispering, sometimes talking loud enough to be heard across the room. Dumbledore stopped his speech and listened around.

"Come on, just a little farther up and that should do it! That's it babe, that's the way you do it!"

After a couple of seconds, Dumbledore shouted "Exposiaramus!" and flicked his wrist effortlessly. Immediately, Harry and Luna appear, in the front middle of the room, buck-naked, fucking in front of everyone. A gasp escaped the mouths of everyone. Harry grasped for his invisibility cloak, but it had disappeared.

"Holy Shit!" he roared.

Luna flipped onto her back and threw one arm over her large, white breasts and one arm over her hairless crotch. She was pale like Robin (a snow hill for those of you who don't know Robin). Harry covered his hung, bronzed self with his arms and stared, blindly, out into the crowd. Malfoy laughed his Cruella DeVil laugh and Hermione hid her eyes in Ron's tough shoulder.

"Why, my goodness!" huffed Professor McGonagall. "You both will be losing 500 hundred points from your houses!" She then flicked her wrist and covered the two in robes with handcuffs. She called out to Finch and told him to lock them in separate rooms so she could have a talk with them. After that she scuttled off.

"Holy Shit Batman!" someone screamed from the back of the room. Malfoy screamed, "Boy, they sure are some dumb mother fuckers!" Hermione wanted to smack Malfoy, but in her heart she knew he was as damn right as ever.

"How could he?" she sobbed quietly to Ron. "How could he do this to me?" Ron just held her close and told her that he didn't know. He tried to comfort her, but she seemed so tense. He just didn't know what to do. It was the worst feeling in the world.