Author's notes way down below do not forget. Very important. I think.
Disclaimer: Not mine J.R.R. Tolkien LOTR characters. FANFIC MINE. Characters not mine. J.R.R. Tolkien. J.R.R. Tolkien. J.R.R. Tolkien. J.R.R. Tolkien..
NOT MINE!
I wish Leggy was mine though =(
Chapter 5 : Hurting Past
Legolas lolled his body around to accommodate him and the girl in his arms in a more comfortable position. They have been sleeping for a long time now and as the hours flew by the harsh afternoon ray of sunlight that came from Arwen's slightly opened window contacted with his bare back, stinging it with great intensity, the pain woke him. It was burning hot outside, and the sun was very proud of the flaming heat it was emitting.
Legolas can feel his bare back responding to the raging scorch of the sun, feeling the searing print it made on his pale skin. He breathed out a long groan of annoyance as he slowly moved away from the sleeping brunette. Not wanting to wake her he left a soft chaste kiss on her smooth, exposed shoulder, she stirred noticing his absence after moaning in displeasure she continued to sleep. He walked over to her window where it was slightly opened. he closed it and pulled down the curtain.
He returned to her bed settling himself under the covers of Arwen's satiny white sheets. She moved closer to him, seeking his warmth, not wanting him to go away. He complied to her wordless request and a soft smile graced his fair face. He nestled her soft body against the strong wall of his chest while he buried his face in the cool, relaxing fragrance of lilacs in her soft mahogany hair. He tangled his long fingers in the velvety strands of her shiny chocolate brown tresses. He settled down, feeling himself calm again as he listened to the subtle beating of her heart.
She's truly here with me.
He pursed his lips against her hairline, kissing every part of her face as if he was memorizing it, he felt like this moment was going to go away… that she was going to leave, it was like a dream and he had to remember every part of this dream.
He had been living a nightmare for centuries after centuries, he had been living a lie. And Arwen.. She was so pure, so innocent, and he had taken her. He had tainted her, hurt her, yet she still accepted him with her arms wide open. She accepted his desire, his passion and his love.
Did she still love him? Maybe it was all a mistake. What if she didn't love him, after all she loved Aragorn, she said so herself.
Legolas bit his lower lip as he felt a cold lifeless hand reach over his heart to twist and crush it mercilessly until it bled, he thought of Aragorn, and yes, his heart did bleed. He felt his soul stagger.
Betrayal.
He closed his eyes, not knowing what to feel. Aragorn was his brother. And he had slept with his bride.
His life was a whirlwind of hurt, anger, confusion and regret and all these emotions were triggered and induced by himself. He had made a lot of mistakes in life and by acknowledging these mistakes he must go through a life-long punishment. His existence was meant to be long, endless… and inevitably miserable. He felt like this pain and regret will never leave him, as if it was written in stone. Could it be that this was his destiny? To be tormented and tortured by his mistakes of the past? Did he regret everything?
No. He will never regret the love he felt for Arwen. What he regretted was his idiocy and immaturity that in return gave him suffering and grief over the loss of something precious. Arwen. The current dilemma he had at the moment was a lose-lose situation, there was no way to win. He didn't even know how he would win.
Do I have Arwen right now? Or is that just a wishful thinking?
He felt a driving force to hit his head hard on one of the walls a feeling of sharp anger pointed to himself. He had hurt her to no end. He doesn't deserve to be in her warm embrace, her pity, nor her forgiveness. Perhaps he should leave Arwen to be with Aragorn, the man she truly deserved.
Legolas winced. He felt as if he had been punched. Hard. He can practically feel the blow in his head, for his mind was reeling. The thought of Arwen gone, married to another was painful beyond words.
What is it that I truly want?
Legolas caressed Arwen's face absentmindedly trying to sort out his jumbled mind. But he was confused. He doesn't know whether or not he felt guilty for taking Aragorn's bride.
Am I sorry? Or am I happy? What am I.. What am I feeling?
He pulled her closer to him, confiding in her warmth and he was clawing for a peaceful state of mind.
Do you love me Arwen? Or is this some kind of a sick joke. For revenge… For what I've done to you. Valar, if that is so, I shall accept it for I deserve it.
He wished that he can go back in time…
…In the past, where everything was so simple, no boundaries, no conflicts... And they were…
in love.
Yes, he wanted to go back in time where Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar of the elves was in love with Legolas Greenleaf, prince of Greenwood The Great.
2,358 years ago
Lady Arwen Undomiel of Rivendell stared with bright gray eyes at the tall blond elf that was standing gloriously next to her twin brothers, a small silly grin was plastered on her young elfin face. She gave him a side-long glance, endlessly continuing to wonder and praise his unearthly beauty. So pure, tall, proud, beautiful.. Calm and refreshing. And he was at the same time…so… dangerously alluring and sexual. She was lulled and transfixed by his ethereal appearance, midnight blue eyes that once in a while changes to ocean-blue in mirth and in light, a river of different shades of gold and silver cascaded down his shoulders. The dark sparkle of his steely gaze was intoxicating, his lean, lithe figure exuded of grace and passion.
Her mother, who was beside her, watched in amusement as she followed her daughter's gaze.
"Daughter, it is rude to stare," Lady Celebrian mischievously teased, the tips of her mouth raised in a toothy grin, the dark haired elf-maiden blushed, shameful that her own mother caught her making googly eyes on Elladan's and Elrohir's friend.
"Mother, I was not staring, You saw of nothing," She snapped heartily snapping her gaze back to reality and to look at the smiling Lady of Imladris.
Celebrian settled her hands on her daughter's shoulders, whisking away her denial to continue her twitting.
"He is named Legolas Greenleaf Thranduillion (Son of Thranduil)," She whispered in her ears, "he is the only heir of Greenwood the Great. What say you of him? Taken aback by royal charm?" She chuckled, amused by Arwen's quick and defiant reaction.
"Mother!" Cried Arwen, fighting back the promise of flushed heat on her cheeks, "I know nothing of what you mean…"
"Go on my little Evenstar," her mother prompted with a chuckle, giving her a slight push towards the twins and the blond Prince. "Surely the twins would not be so rude in not introducing you," she persisted.
"Moootheerr…." Arwen whined, pressing herself back slowly, not wanting to attract any negative attention of the audience. "Do not make me embarrass myself! Elrohir thinks of me as a brat…! He is so much older than me, I would say he is the same age as the twins, he must be two-hundred years old or more. Don't make me do this, I beg of you," she pleaded, trying to keep a straight face, the humiliation would be of no end when Elrohir and Elladan see her like this.
"Oh Arwen, do not think so negatively especially such false thoughts about your brothers. You know they love you so. Age does not matter because all you want from Legolas is an introduction. It's not a sin nor it is illegal. Be that as it may I know that you have taken a fancy towards him, you must talk to him, I know you want to." she insisted, with a twinkle in her gray eyes.
"I am but a child to their eyes, my eyes have not seen forty winters yet. I am a child in elven terms. They will not make me talk to him! Please cease this insisting." She reasoned, ignoring the desire of having a conversation with him for she knows that she'll be ignored.
"Look at me," Celebrian said in a straight tone of voice, forcing her to look at her straight in the eyes that showed sincerity, "When you are one thousand, and he is one thousand, one hundred sixty years old, or more, you can't even tell the difference. We are elves for Valar's sakes, you must go. And I did not ask for you to marry him, I simply proposed the idea of you talking to him. I see no wrong in that."
Arwen turned away not wanting Celebrian to see that she had won, she can always see right through her. what her mother just said got to her. She was right, by refusing and denying her only made her more guilty of having interest in him. Celebrian always knew how to trap her victims with her sharp wit, and this time she got her daughter's.
Arwen sighed. "All right," she said meekly, walking feeble steps towards her brothers. Then she looked back at Celebrian who was giving her the biggest smile of approval. "Go." She whispered to her.
She daringly walked forward, and as she approached them, something came out of Elrohir's mouth.
"My sister is here. Arwen what news? Does father need of us?"
"I bring neither news or messages from father. I simply came.. to say hello," Arwen replied shyly, not wanting to look she decided to stare at her foot clad in silver slippers. She sensed Legolas' steely blue eyes on her, she felt uneasy, and embarrassed. She continued to look down thinking it served to ease the tension.
Elladan cocked his head to his sister, utterly confused, she had never talked to the twins with such shyness, and it was a surprise that she even talked to them during a celebration. Arwen was never the one to socialize in a festivity such as this one, even with her own siblings. She had a sick pleasure of being alone and having no-one to talk to.
"Arwen… I don't think that you should be here. We are talking about nothing that you would know, you should be mingling with the ladies." Elladan said, concerned that Arwen might feel that she is out of place and think that she is being ignored.
Arwen's head shot up, a hurtful look was evident on her face. What he said was harsh, and brought a deadly blow in her pride. She looked up at Elladan with lowered brows.
"Please forgive me your lordships," she said politely, she pushed forward, trying to be bold. "I just…wanted to greet your friend." She swallowed a lump that had painfully placed itself in her throat. Arwen was only conscious of the uneasiness and doubt in her soul that united with the unusually fast beat of her heart.
Elrohir threw Arwen a long quizzical look then turned his attention to Legolas who only looked at the girl with a genuine smile and wore an expression of surprise. She had caught him offhanded too, she was never been the one to say 'hello'. And he had wondered what caused this sudden change.
'She must have had something hard to drink.' Elrohir thought, regarding Arwen's strange behavior tonight as nothing and caused by a strong alcoholic beverage. A very strong alcoholic beverage.
"Mae Govannen arwenamin (happily met my lady)." He stooped down to kiss her knuckles, feeling her cool, soft hand linger against the warm contours of his lips, he then sent her a sultry grin and produced a low chuckle. "Your sister is quite a charmer Elrohir, Elladan. This is the Evenstar of Imladris correct?" He paused to look over her.
"Yes, that would be her." Elladan answered, not noticing the burning stare Legolas was giving Arwen.
Arwen lifted her head to look at him, she was once again riveted by his beautiful, serene face. His eyes were even more seductive up close, it was deep, like a blue fire, cool and heated at the same time. She thought it was intoxicating.
"Legolas!"
The flaxen haired prince turned to the owner of the voice, and then Arwen was awoken from her spell as she saw a she-elf approaching their way. She was beautiful, even more beautiful in elven-terms, her sleek strawberry blond hair was held up in a half bun, and her gown was sown with beautiful colors of blue and silver. She was as tall as Arwen, she had high cheekbones and a small but proud nose. But what really made her beautiful was her emerald green eyes. Arwen watched in disbelief as the she-elf strode up to Legolas, her arms snaking up to his shoulders, pulling him in a passionate kiss.
"Legolas, I have missed you so," the girl purred, rubbing her face against his left cheeks.
"Arwen, I would like you to meet Aryn, high lady of Greenwood." Legolas declared, while the strawberry blond girl hugged his waist. "Aryn, I would like you to meet the Evenstar."
Aryn stuck out her delicate hands to Arwen, and she could only stare. She felt humiliation and embarrassment overwhelm her. She feebly met her hands with hers, then curtseyed.
"The Evenstar of the elves!" said Aryn with a sweet smile, "I have heard much about you."
"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you Aryn," Arwen said meekly. "But I am afraid I have to go." She then turned on her heels to leave, not wanting Legolas to see her watering eyes.
I will not cry. Why should I? My pride is not damaged.
She blinked her eyes, trying to hold back the tears.
Nobody would know, I am myself, I have nobody. Nobody would know…
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Feb 22, 2002
heh heh heh, is this chapter bad? Sorry if it is, I'm so drunk right now, I probably don't know what the hell I'm writing. Oh well.. do i write better drunk or sober? heh...*slurrs* everything so blurry...Ok, so what if I haven't updated for awhile, hey at least I've updated! Anyway, this chapter is rather pathetic, I've been trying to rid of this nasty writer's block for…lets see…three weeks!? Sorry you all, I've been busy, with the report card coming and all, so many tests, essay, oh you know the drill… About the age of Arwen and Legolas I do not know the age, I just made it up, I'm so LAZY! Oh this chapter is rather bad, but hey bare with it. Please review. Comment/suggestions/constructive criticism all go in the review section. Please don't be shy to point out any silly little mistakes, hell I make lots of mistakes. Hmm what else, oh yeah I had a crappy valentines, hope you guys did to so you can share my pain. Haha I'm evil, you know I'm just messing. A WALK TO REMEMBER IS SOO SAD, made me cry so many times. That's it. Who is this Aryn girl!? Eh, find out in the next chapter. REVIEW!
About the age, I don't know their actual age is, so don't flame. I just made it up. In the past Arwen is forty (a child in elven terms) and Legolas is about 200 around there. Don't correct me, because the ages I thought up works out fine in the fic. REMEMBER. This is just a FIC!
