Author's Note: This is dedicated to Maddy, who I would gladly wear a love smock for!!

Fairy Lights

By Mina

Chapter One: The Bird Lady

'So, are you guys excited about our last year?'

'Excited is a bit of an understatement, Angelina. We're simply thrilled.'

'Thrilled is still too subtle, George. I think that euphoric is a better term.'

'Jubilant—'

'—Elated—'

'—Psyched—'

'—Over the moon—'

'Nice,' complimented George.

'OK, OK,' chuckled Angelina as she and the Weasley twins headed down to the great hall for their final start of term feast. 'I can't believe we're not going to be coming back next year,' she sighed.

'Oh, upset, are we?' asked Fred, hopping down the steps of the marble staircase.

'She's right, Fred—think of all the innocents we will no longer have influence on. They'll be stuck here—all year.'

'True,' he replied as they entered the great hall.

They were quite shocked to find the entire hall silent, still as if they were petrified, staring down at their plates.

'What the—?' began George, but was interrupted by a very loud and forceful 'Shh!' that emanated from the other end of the room.

Fred jumped back in alarm, treading on Angelina's foot. Instead of Albus Dumbledore sitting in the Headmaster's seat at the high table, there stood a tall, birdlike woman. She had a tall, puffy white cloud of hair curled at the top of her head, beady eyes hidden behind a beaklike nose, and thin lips hidden behind her finger as she silenced them.

George looked to Ron and Harry, who were sitting like everyone else, hunched over their bare plates with their eyes closed.

Suddenly four long, synthetic rings sounded like a signal for the end of class, and everyone looked up as if awakening from a spell. Some turned their eyes to Fred, George, and Angelina, others returned them to the bird lady, who pointed a finger at the three seventh years and said, in a very slurred, drawling voice that seemed to mix every British accent imaginable into one, 'Come he-yeh, children.'

Exchanging looks, the trio headed to the high table, somehow drawn as if in a tractor beam to this odd witch wearing a spotted silk scarf tied in a knot around her neck, and a tailored emerald suit beneath her purple robes.

They stopped in front of the table, looking at all of the professors, who wouldn't meet eyes with them.

'What are yeh doing arrahvin' so late to dinnah?'

'Er,' said George, not quite sure how to approach the creature. 'We got lost?'

Several students laughed quietly at this, and the woman slammed her hand on the desk and shouted 'SILENCE!' in a drawl that would put Draco Malfoy to shame.

'You're a little too old to be getting lost. What are you, sixth years?'

'Seventh,' said Fred defensively.

'Well, what are your names?'

'What is your name?' asked Fred.

'Yeah,' said Angelina, 'Where's Dumbledore?'

'Speaking of which, where's McGonagall?'

The Deputy Headmistress wasn't in her usual seat, and they were shocked to find her glaring at the woman from the end of the table next to Snape.

The bird lady stared down at them. 'You will not speak back teh me, children,' said the woman. 'I am Headmistress Shirley, Professor Shirley, if you must.' She stared at Fred and George, leaning over the table to get a good look at them. 'Why do you two look alike?' she asked suspiciously.

'Er, because we're twins,' said George, doubting whether or not this Shirley woman really was a professor.

'I don't like your tone, boys. I meant, why are you dressed alike?'

Fred and George looked at their black robes. 'These are our uniforms.'

'You two are clearly in some sort of gang,' she said. 'Stop looking alike this instant!'

Angelina's eyes grew large. What was going on?

Professor Shirley was obviously growing impatient waiting on either Fred or George to morph into someone else, and she drew her wand back and popped it in front of George's face, and their was a loud pop as a thick cloud of bright red smoke enveloped his head. He coughed and fanned the smoke away with his hand, and Angelina gasped when she saw that his hair had turned black and his teeth were now square and very large. Several Slytherins laughed.

'Sit down,' she said.

Unable to speak, the trio fled to the Gryffindor table, surprised to find that all of the girls were on one side and the boys on the other.

'What's going on?' whimpered Fred.

They sat at the table forever, waiting for Professor Shirley to finish her long, drawn out speech. Harry managed to whisper to Fred and George that she'd arranged them all to sit boy/girl on each table with the flick of her wand, and led them in a minute of silence to think of all of the bad things they had done at Hogwarts the years previous. She was now going on about how behaviour at the school was now going to change, and that corporal punishment had now been approved by the Ministry. Filch cackled near the teacher's table and slapped a long, wooden paddle in his hand. Fred heard Harry gulp—it had a lightening bolt emblazoned upon it.