A/N: Here's chapter two...this one goes along with the song "Hello." And thankies a bunch to Iliana (Luvcarter) who liked my fics so much she decided to IM me :D Made my day ^_^ And just in case anyone was wondering (or worrying about), no chapters of this fic will go along with "Bring Me To Life." ^^; As much as I luv Evanescence, I do admit that that song is too over played ^^; but they're coming out with a new single, "Going Under" so can't wait for that ^-^ anyway, on to the fic...
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*
*
"Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again"
*
Caitie sighed, brushing a tear from her cheek as she continued to stare off into space. She wasn't sure how long she had been there. The past events with her father had left her so emotionally drained, her brain refused to focus on anything. She just sat there, her eyes glazed over, thinking about...nothing. She hadn't realized just how much time had passed until the ringing of the school bell dragged her out of her trance. Glancing down at her wrist watch, she was surprised to see it was already eight o'clock; school was starting.
She quickly began shoving things back into her black school bag. She had just lost track of the hours...but when her hand came to rest on her compact, all the memories came flooding back. Memories of her dad and the broken beer bottle, getting hit trying to run out of the house, the pain, the blood, her reflection, and her tender black eye...
*
"Has no one told you she's not breathing?"
*
"Maybe I was just...overreacting," she told herself. "I'm sure it's not really as bad as I'm imagining it." She flipped open the compact and looked int he mirror again. Well, she was right. It wasn't as bad as she had thought. It was worse. The swelling had increased and the skin had turned a dark reddish purple, beyond the help of make up. She couldn't stand to look at it any longer and bitterly snapped it shut, angrilly throwing it back down on the ground and running her fingers through her dark hair in frustration. She couldn't go to school like this. She didn't need the taunting, pointing, or gossipping she was sure to get from her classmates.
Or the pity. She didn't want anybody feeling sorry for her. Not Val, not Jamie, no one.
*
"Hello, I'm your mind
Giving you someone to talk to
Hello"
*
This was her first wound that couldn't be covered by a cleverly placed piece of clothing. There was no way to hide it. Jamie was the only one she had told about her problem; he understood it. But Val... "Val just doesn't get it," she said out loud to herself. "She'll make me go to the police, or talk to a councelor, or call one of those abused child hotlines...Can't she see if I tell anyone the beatings will only get worse?" She sighed and shook her head. No, she would just skip school for the day. She could stay under the bleachers unnoticed at least till sixth period when the football team and cheerleaders came out to practice. She wasn't sure where she'd go then, but she decided she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.
Suddenly..."Hmm?" Caitie looked up at the distinct sound of crunching gravel; footsteps. Sure enough, the unmistakeable Jamie Waite had just turned the corner and was making his way towards her. He wasn't close enough to see her tears or her black eye yet, but if she didn't do something quick, he would.
"No, no, he can't see me like this!" she muttered as her hands dove into her school bag. Sure, she had told Jamie that her father got quite violent at times...just not that it happened nearly every other day. She didn't want his pity, she could take care of herself. "C'mon, c'mon!" she urged herself as she dug through her bag. Her things spilled out all over the ground as she frantically searched for something, anything! "Aha!" Finally, at the very bottom of the bag, she found a pair of dark sunglasses. The frame was a little bent, but that didn't matter. She hurriedly fit them on, then curled up in her spot, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin on top of them. His footsteps grew closer and closer until they stopped next to her.
"Hey, hun," he spoke. "Thought I'd find you here."
*
"If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream"
*
Caitie forced a smile, "Oh, hi, Jamie."
"You do realize school's already started, right? You ditching today?"
"Yeah," she nodded, looking up at him. She could barely see in the shadows with the sunglasses on, but she could just make out his smiling face, spikey brown hair, and signature leather jacket.
He blinked in surprise at the out-of-place glasses. "Um...what's with the shades? New fasion statement? Or did you just become blind?" He laughed a little and sat down in front of her.
Silently shaking her head and biting her lower lip, she removed them and looked back up expectantly at him.
His confused smile instantly faded and he cringed, his eyes darting around restlessly, not sure where to look. "Your...your dad?" he asked, timidly. She nodded. "Well...at least it wasn't a four year old girl, right?" He smiled uncertainly.
She tried to laugh, but it came out more like a whining moan as she faught desparately to keep the tears her eyes sparkled with down.
Jamie ran his tongue over his dry lips. "...You gonna be Ok?"
She nodded again, then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck as she started crying again. "I love you, Jamie," she sobbed as he hugged her back.
"Shh, it's Ok," he soothed, slightly rocking back and forth with her. "I love you too. Everything's going to be alright."
*
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry"
*
"But it's not Ok," she objected. "He scares me to death, Jamie! I'm afraid he'll get so drunk one night he'll...he'll try raping me, or...or worse...!"
"Well why do you stick around and allow him to do it?" he eclaimed, pulling her away and forcing her to look at him. "Why don't you just leave? Like your mom? Stay at Val's house, or Brianne's, or...or mine-"
"I can't do that! HE'LL call the cops on ME. There are laws against minors running away-"
"Not *abused* minors, Caitie! Wha't HE'S doing is wrong! WHY won't you tell anyone?"
"If I do, do you know what he'll do to me?!"
"*Show* someone your eye! Whatever marks he leaves on you!"
"No, no, I can't! He'll come after me, I swear!"
"Caitie..."
"Nobody will believe me, anyway. To everyone else my father is a respectible chief of police who, although he's no longer married, still 'loves his daughter very much.' If I tell, he'll just say I got it at school and I was just making the story up to get back at him for...not letting me go to a concert or something. You know they'll believe him over me in a heartbeat. I mean, why wouldn't they? He's the *cheif of police* and I'm...me. My criminal record's not much better than your's...they'll judge my word on that, you know they will, Jamie."
He sighed reluctantly. Though he hated to admit it, she was right. Caitie's dad acted like nothing less than a gentleman in front of everyone else. No one else was aware he had a drinking problem or needed anger management classes. Even the few times Jamie had seen him, he had been nice and polite. If Caitie hadn't showed him her past bruises, he probably wouldn't have believed it himself. A cop's word over a rebellious goth girl's would seem the obvious choice at first glance.
"You understand now?" she asked.
He smiled half-heartedly as he pulled her back into a hug. "Life sucks, doesn't it?"
"Yes," she sighed, leaning closer to him as he lightly ran his fingers up and down her back. "I guess death is the only way out of it..."
She felt him stiffen suddenly beneath her as once again he pulled away, holding her out at arms length, his hands tightly gripping her shoulders almost painfully. "Caitie...Caitie, please...don't say that..."
"Why not? It's true, isn't it? Sometimes I wish I was dead. A lot of the time, actually..."
"No, please, Caitie!" He sounded scared. "Don't go suicidal on me. It's not worth it, killing yourself for him. You still have friends; Val, Brianne, Jake, Karen...and you'll always have *me*, right?" He smiled hopefully, anxiously.
Caitie only looked down at her hands fiddling restlessly in her lap.
"Please," Jamie pleaded. "Promise me you'll never look to suicide!"
She didn't answer. She couldn't *promise*...
"Please, Caitie," he repeated, planting a small kiss on her pink lips. "I don't want to lose you.
She forced a weak smile and slightly nodded. The only reason Jamie could talk so optimistically, so "life is always better than death," is because he had no idea what she was going through. He came from a happy family, with an older brother and a younger sister, his parents still married...He just didn't understand. She sniffled and sat back, shrugging off Jamie's touch and mentally threatening him to change the subject. She just wanted to forget about it, concentrate on something else.
He seemed to have gotten the hint through her death stares and finally said, "So, how long are you planning on staying here?"
She shrugged. "Till sixth period, I guess, when I'm bound to be discovered by those stupid bubble-headed cheerleaders if I stick around. By then it'll be nearly two, and my dad leaves for work at two-thirty, so I'll just find somewhere to chill for a half hour, then I can have the house to myself. It all works."
He seemed amused with her logic as he leaned back, propping himself up with his arms. "So you just gonna sit here and do nothing?"
"Well, I have a deck of cards, if you'd fancy a game of poker."
"Deal me in," he grinned.
She pulled the deck out from the front pocket of her school bag and began shuffling it. As she was doing so, a strand of her long, dark hair strayed in her face. She casually made a move to brush it away, forgetting about her eye. Just the slight touch of her fingers to the tender, swollen skin was enough to send a sudden electrical shock of pain through her body. She inhaled sharply and winced, once again recalling that morning's events, her father's snide remarks, violent actions...the broken bottleneck...
No, Jamie didn't understand it at all.
*
"Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday..."
*
*
*
"Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again"
*
Caitie sighed, brushing a tear from her cheek as she continued to stare off into space. She wasn't sure how long she had been there. The past events with her father had left her so emotionally drained, her brain refused to focus on anything. She just sat there, her eyes glazed over, thinking about...nothing. She hadn't realized just how much time had passed until the ringing of the school bell dragged her out of her trance. Glancing down at her wrist watch, she was surprised to see it was already eight o'clock; school was starting.
She quickly began shoving things back into her black school bag. She had just lost track of the hours...but when her hand came to rest on her compact, all the memories came flooding back. Memories of her dad and the broken beer bottle, getting hit trying to run out of the house, the pain, the blood, her reflection, and her tender black eye...
*
"Has no one told you she's not breathing?"
*
"Maybe I was just...overreacting," she told herself. "I'm sure it's not really as bad as I'm imagining it." She flipped open the compact and looked int he mirror again. Well, she was right. It wasn't as bad as she had thought. It was worse. The swelling had increased and the skin had turned a dark reddish purple, beyond the help of make up. She couldn't stand to look at it any longer and bitterly snapped it shut, angrilly throwing it back down on the ground and running her fingers through her dark hair in frustration. She couldn't go to school like this. She didn't need the taunting, pointing, or gossipping she was sure to get from her classmates.
Or the pity. She didn't want anybody feeling sorry for her. Not Val, not Jamie, no one.
*
"Hello, I'm your mind
Giving you someone to talk to
Hello"
*
This was her first wound that couldn't be covered by a cleverly placed piece of clothing. There was no way to hide it. Jamie was the only one she had told about her problem; he understood it. But Val... "Val just doesn't get it," she said out loud to herself. "She'll make me go to the police, or talk to a councelor, or call one of those abused child hotlines...Can't she see if I tell anyone the beatings will only get worse?" She sighed and shook her head. No, she would just skip school for the day. She could stay under the bleachers unnoticed at least till sixth period when the football team and cheerleaders came out to practice. She wasn't sure where she'd go then, but she decided she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.
Suddenly..."Hmm?" Caitie looked up at the distinct sound of crunching gravel; footsteps. Sure enough, the unmistakeable Jamie Waite had just turned the corner and was making his way towards her. He wasn't close enough to see her tears or her black eye yet, but if she didn't do something quick, he would.
"No, no, he can't see me like this!" she muttered as her hands dove into her school bag. Sure, she had told Jamie that her father got quite violent at times...just not that it happened nearly every other day. She didn't want his pity, she could take care of herself. "C'mon, c'mon!" she urged herself as she dug through her bag. Her things spilled out all over the ground as she frantically searched for something, anything! "Aha!" Finally, at the very bottom of the bag, she found a pair of dark sunglasses. The frame was a little bent, but that didn't matter. She hurriedly fit them on, then curled up in her spot, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin on top of them. His footsteps grew closer and closer until they stopped next to her.
"Hey, hun," he spoke. "Thought I'd find you here."
*
"If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream"
*
Caitie forced a smile, "Oh, hi, Jamie."
"You do realize school's already started, right? You ditching today?"
"Yeah," she nodded, looking up at him. She could barely see in the shadows with the sunglasses on, but she could just make out his smiling face, spikey brown hair, and signature leather jacket.
He blinked in surprise at the out-of-place glasses. "Um...what's with the shades? New fasion statement? Or did you just become blind?" He laughed a little and sat down in front of her.
Silently shaking her head and biting her lower lip, she removed them and looked back up expectantly at him.
His confused smile instantly faded and he cringed, his eyes darting around restlessly, not sure where to look. "Your...your dad?" he asked, timidly. She nodded. "Well...at least it wasn't a four year old girl, right?" He smiled uncertainly.
She tried to laugh, but it came out more like a whining moan as she faught desparately to keep the tears her eyes sparkled with down.
Jamie ran his tongue over his dry lips. "...You gonna be Ok?"
She nodded again, then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck as she started crying again. "I love you, Jamie," she sobbed as he hugged her back.
"Shh, it's Ok," he soothed, slightly rocking back and forth with her. "I love you too. Everything's going to be alright."
*
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry"
*
"But it's not Ok," she objected. "He scares me to death, Jamie! I'm afraid he'll get so drunk one night he'll...he'll try raping me, or...or worse...!"
"Well why do you stick around and allow him to do it?" he eclaimed, pulling her away and forcing her to look at him. "Why don't you just leave? Like your mom? Stay at Val's house, or Brianne's, or...or mine-"
"I can't do that! HE'LL call the cops on ME. There are laws against minors running away-"
"Not *abused* minors, Caitie! Wha't HE'S doing is wrong! WHY won't you tell anyone?"
"If I do, do you know what he'll do to me?!"
"*Show* someone your eye! Whatever marks he leaves on you!"
"No, no, I can't! He'll come after me, I swear!"
"Caitie..."
"Nobody will believe me, anyway. To everyone else my father is a respectible chief of police who, although he's no longer married, still 'loves his daughter very much.' If I tell, he'll just say I got it at school and I was just making the story up to get back at him for...not letting me go to a concert or something. You know they'll believe him over me in a heartbeat. I mean, why wouldn't they? He's the *cheif of police* and I'm...me. My criminal record's not much better than your's...they'll judge my word on that, you know they will, Jamie."
He sighed reluctantly. Though he hated to admit it, she was right. Caitie's dad acted like nothing less than a gentleman in front of everyone else. No one else was aware he had a drinking problem or needed anger management classes. Even the few times Jamie had seen him, he had been nice and polite. If Caitie hadn't showed him her past bruises, he probably wouldn't have believed it himself. A cop's word over a rebellious goth girl's would seem the obvious choice at first glance.
"You understand now?" she asked.
He smiled half-heartedly as he pulled her back into a hug. "Life sucks, doesn't it?"
"Yes," she sighed, leaning closer to him as he lightly ran his fingers up and down her back. "I guess death is the only way out of it..."
She felt him stiffen suddenly beneath her as once again he pulled away, holding her out at arms length, his hands tightly gripping her shoulders almost painfully. "Caitie...Caitie, please...don't say that..."
"Why not? It's true, isn't it? Sometimes I wish I was dead. A lot of the time, actually..."
"No, please, Caitie!" He sounded scared. "Don't go suicidal on me. It's not worth it, killing yourself for him. You still have friends; Val, Brianne, Jake, Karen...and you'll always have *me*, right?" He smiled hopefully, anxiously.
Caitie only looked down at her hands fiddling restlessly in her lap.
"Please," Jamie pleaded. "Promise me you'll never look to suicide!"
She didn't answer. She couldn't *promise*...
"Please, Caitie," he repeated, planting a small kiss on her pink lips. "I don't want to lose you.
She forced a weak smile and slightly nodded. The only reason Jamie could talk so optimistically, so "life is always better than death," is because he had no idea what she was going through. He came from a happy family, with an older brother and a younger sister, his parents still married...He just didn't understand. She sniffled and sat back, shrugging off Jamie's touch and mentally threatening him to change the subject. She just wanted to forget about it, concentrate on something else.
He seemed to have gotten the hint through her death stares and finally said, "So, how long are you planning on staying here?"
She shrugged. "Till sixth period, I guess, when I'm bound to be discovered by those stupid bubble-headed cheerleaders if I stick around. By then it'll be nearly two, and my dad leaves for work at two-thirty, so I'll just find somewhere to chill for a half hour, then I can have the house to myself. It all works."
He seemed amused with her logic as he leaned back, propping himself up with his arms. "So you just gonna sit here and do nothing?"
"Well, I have a deck of cards, if you'd fancy a game of poker."
"Deal me in," he grinned.
She pulled the deck out from the front pocket of her school bag and began shuffling it. As she was doing so, a strand of her long, dark hair strayed in her face. She casually made a move to brush it away, forgetting about her eye. Just the slight touch of her fingers to the tender, swollen skin was enough to send a sudden electrical shock of pain through her body. She inhaled sharply and winced, once again recalling that morning's events, her father's snide remarks, violent actions...the broken bottleneck...
No, Jamie didn't understand it at all.
*
"Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday..."
