Sorry about the wait guys, real life intruded!!
Chapter 14
Jackie sat on her bed crying. She didn't know why she was so upset. She was used to being disappointed by the people she loved. Her mom, her dad, Michael and the most disappointing, Steven, they had all disappointed, lied or deserted her in someway. Why did she have such bad taste? She couldn't chose her parents but she could her friends and boyfriends and look where that got her. The problem was she didn't have any answers just more questions. She looked up at the knocking on her door but decided to ignore it. More knocking.
"C'mon Jackie, I know your in there," Steven called through the door. "The guy at the front saw you come in." He knocked louder this time.
"Go away Steven," she called back. "I don't want to talk to you."
"Jackie you either let me in or I'm going to have Red go get a key and let me in. We can do this the hard way or the not so hard way." Steven leaned his head against the door. He didn't really know if Red could do that but it sounded good. He heard Jackie walk towards the door then it slowly, not very wide and not asking him in.
"What do you want Steven," Jackie asked "More lies you want to tell me?"
"I want to talk to you about this, about us"
"I don't think so, Steven, we don't have anything to talk about."
"Yes, we do." Steven looked down the hallway where everyone was getting off the elevator. The whole group walked towards them, trying not to listen but listening all the way. Jackie could tell they were listening because that's what they did-eavesdrop and lie and just generally be evil. Jackie knew she was getting off on a tangent but, damn, she was pissed.
"We can either continue this conversation here or in your room. It's your choice." She glared at him as he spoke.
"Fine" and she stepped aside to let him into the room. He stepped into the room feeling relief; he truly hadn't believed Jackie would let him in. He figured she would slam the door in his face and she hadn't. Not that she had really invited him in but . . . it was a start.
She wasn't really sure why she hadn't slammed the door in his face. Part of her didn't want to have anything to do with him but the other part wanted him to hold her and tell her it was all okay and this was a really bad dream. Like before when he had cheated on her, it was the same then. She had still loved him but was so, so disappointed and she couldn't forgive him. Even when she wanted to do it more then anything in the world. Like at the hospital after the water tower accident scared that something that Steven had been hurt or worse and he had confronted her on it she had denied it then caved but she hadn't wanted too. She had been unable to forgive him even when he asked.
Inside the room the two stared at each other. Jackie didn't say anything to Steven, just stared at him. Okay then, Steven thought looking at her leaning against the wall, the same wall that earlier they had--. He had to stop or he wouldn't be able to get through this without grabbing her.
"Jackie, I didn't lie to you about anything, I just didn't tell you. It's more of an omission." Jackie looked at him skeptically. "What I mean, and I'm putting very badly, is I didn't lie about loving you Jackie. I do love you and I haven't ever stopped loving you. Look, I know you're mad and I accept that. You have a right to be mad but you aren't going to scare me off by being mad. I'm not leaving."
"Steven, you lied to me. Again. How can I trust you when you've broken that trust twice now? If you really trusted what I feel for you, you wouldn't have lied to me. It's not complicated, even for you."
"That's shit Jackie. Remember how it was before, you didn't want me. You wanted to fucking tan for the summer Jackie. God, you woke up and wanted me again. There were no maybes or tanning or Kelso or anything. You wanted me. It was like a gift from some weird upper deity, pick one I don't care, and I couldn't pass it up. Would you have pasted it up or destroyed it?" Steven had thought about that on his way over. He had lost Jackie once and he wasn't going to let it happen again. "You know you can trust me, I love you. How can you doubt it in anyway after last night, this morning and before dinner? You're mad, I get that, but we are not breaking up again." He stopped and stared at her, had he gotten through as all? What was going through her head?
"Steven I don't see how this really matters." Jackie still hurt, he and everyone had lied to her. People just kept lying and deserting her, she was so sick and tired of it. After this she was never going to let herself get hurt again. No matter what. "I can't trust you or anyone. I'm so tired of not being able to trust people and the people I thought I could trust destroy it. My parents were to be expected, my dad bought me things and my mom, well, she's just whacked. But you and the others were suppose to be different and-and you're not" Jackie felt tears welling up in her eyes and she looked away from Steven.
"Oh, baby," he stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her before she could say anything. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he whispered in her ear as the tears came. For a few moments they didn't move with, his arms wrapped around her pulling her into his shoulder.
"No, no," Jackie said pushing him away. "This is what got me into trouble, depending on you. I can't. I can't." She trailed off pushing him away from her. They stared at each other in silence then a look passed over Steven's face, like he had made a decision.
"Jackie, I get that your mad. I would be pissed too but I'm not going to let this end our relationship. Do you want to let this go?" He crushed her to him, kissing her with everything he had. Love. Need. Trust. Commitment. Love. He had to make her understand. "Do you want to give this up? What we have? Remember when I was inside you and the way it felt, how perfectly we fit. I'm not giving that up." He whispered in her ear, feeling the shivers run down her back. "I'm giving you a week."
"A week?"
"Yeah, you can be as mad as you want at me for a week. I won't come over or bother you or anything, just leave you alone but at the end of the week all bets are off. At the end I'm going to do everything in my power to show you how important this is. That you can trust me How important."
"Steven, you can't make me do anything." Jackie put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You can't make me trust you."
"Yeah, I can and I will." He released her and walked to the door. Steven turned to look at her, she was staring at him looking confused and he wanted to make it all better but he couldn't. "I love you Jackie" then he walked out the door and to his room. Steven leaned his head against his door, breathing deeply, trying to calm down his heart. He couldn't believe he had just said all that to Jackie. He kept waiting for her to say something.
Like good to know.
By far, Steven thought with a smile, the most annoying phrase to ever- especially when thrown back at him by Jackie. What was he going to do now? Was she ever going to NOT going to be mad at him? And what was he going to do in one week to convince her?
*************
Jackie stared at the closed door. One week? She was suppose to get over being mad at him in one week? Was the dope he had been smoking lately gone bad? She turned back into the room, muttering to herself then stopped. She couldn't sleep in that bed, not the one where they had-all last night, this morning then tonight. She couldn't get back into that bed. Where the hell was she going to sleep?
Jackie sat down on the bed, feeling the sadness overwhelm her again. What was she going to do without him?
Chapter 14
Jackie sat on her bed crying. She didn't know why she was so upset. She was used to being disappointed by the people she loved. Her mom, her dad, Michael and the most disappointing, Steven, they had all disappointed, lied or deserted her in someway. Why did she have such bad taste? She couldn't chose her parents but she could her friends and boyfriends and look where that got her. The problem was she didn't have any answers just more questions. She looked up at the knocking on her door but decided to ignore it. More knocking.
"C'mon Jackie, I know your in there," Steven called through the door. "The guy at the front saw you come in." He knocked louder this time.
"Go away Steven," she called back. "I don't want to talk to you."
"Jackie you either let me in or I'm going to have Red go get a key and let me in. We can do this the hard way or the not so hard way." Steven leaned his head against the door. He didn't really know if Red could do that but it sounded good. He heard Jackie walk towards the door then it slowly, not very wide and not asking him in.
"What do you want Steven," Jackie asked "More lies you want to tell me?"
"I want to talk to you about this, about us"
"I don't think so, Steven, we don't have anything to talk about."
"Yes, we do." Steven looked down the hallway where everyone was getting off the elevator. The whole group walked towards them, trying not to listen but listening all the way. Jackie could tell they were listening because that's what they did-eavesdrop and lie and just generally be evil. Jackie knew she was getting off on a tangent but, damn, she was pissed.
"We can either continue this conversation here or in your room. It's your choice." She glared at him as he spoke.
"Fine" and she stepped aside to let him into the room. He stepped into the room feeling relief; he truly hadn't believed Jackie would let him in. He figured she would slam the door in his face and she hadn't. Not that she had really invited him in but . . . it was a start.
She wasn't really sure why she hadn't slammed the door in his face. Part of her didn't want to have anything to do with him but the other part wanted him to hold her and tell her it was all okay and this was a really bad dream. Like before when he had cheated on her, it was the same then. She had still loved him but was so, so disappointed and she couldn't forgive him. Even when she wanted to do it more then anything in the world. Like at the hospital after the water tower accident scared that something that Steven had been hurt or worse and he had confronted her on it she had denied it then caved but she hadn't wanted too. She had been unable to forgive him even when he asked.
Inside the room the two stared at each other. Jackie didn't say anything to Steven, just stared at him. Okay then, Steven thought looking at her leaning against the wall, the same wall that earlier they had--. He had to stop or he wouldn't be able to get through this without grabbing her.
"Jackie, I didn't lie to you about anything, I just didn't tell you. It's more of an omission." Jackie looked at him skeptically. "What I mean, and I'm putting very badly, is I didn't lie about loving you Jackie. I do love you and I haven't ever stopped loving you. Look, I know you're mad and I accept that. You have a right to be mad but you aren't going to scare me off by being mad. I'm not leaving."
"Steven, you lied to me. Again. How can I trust you when you've broken that trust twice now? If you really trusted what I feel for you, you wouldn't have lied to me. It's not complicated, even for you."
"That's shit Jackie. Remember how it was before, you didn't want me. You wanted to fucking tan for the summer Jackie. God, you woke up and wanted me again. There were no maybes or tanning or Kelso or anything. You wanted me. It was like a gift from some weird upper deity, pick one I don't care, and I couldn't pass it up. Would you have pasted it up or destroyed it?" Steven had thought about that on his way over. He had lost Jackie once and he wasn't going to let it happen again. "You know you can trust me, I love you. How can you doubt it in anyway after last night, this morning and before dinner? You're mad, I get that, but we are not breaking up again." He stopped and stared at her, had he gotten through as all? What was going through her head?
"Steven I don't see how this really matters." Jackie still hurt, he and everyone had lied to her. People just kept lying and deserting her, she was so sick and tired of it. After this she was never going to let herself get hurt again. No matter what. "I can't trust you or anyone. I'm so tired of not being able to trust people and the people I thought I could trust destroy it. My parents were to be expected, my dad bought me things and my mom, well, she's just whacked. But you and the others were suppose to be different and-and you're not" Jackie felt tears welling up in her eyes and she looked away from Steven.
"Oh, baby," he stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her before she could say anything. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he whispered in her ear as the tears came. For a few moments they didn't move with, his arms wrapped around her pulling her into his shoulder.
"No, no," Jackie said pushing him away. "This is what got me into trouble, depending on you. I can't. I can't." She trailed off pushing him away from her. They stared at each other in silence then a look passed over Steven's face, like he had made a decision.
"Jackie, I get that your mad. I would be pissed too but I'm not going to let this end our relationship. Do you want to let this go?" He crushed her to him, kissing her with everything he had. Love. Need. Trust. Commitment. Love. He had to make her understand. "Do you want to give this up? What we have? Remember when I was inside you and the way it felt, how perfectly we fit. I'm not giving that up." He whispered in her ear, feeling the shivers run down her back. "I'm giving you a week."
"A week?"
"Yeah, you can be as mad as you want at me for a week. I won't come over or bother you or anything, just leave you alone but at the end of the week all bets are off. At the end I'm going to do everything in my power to show you how important this is. That you can trust me How important."
"Steven, you can't make me do anything." Jackie put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You can't make me trust you."
"Yeah, I can and I will." He released her and walked to the door. Steven turned to look at her, she was staring at him looking confused and he wanted to make it all better but he couldn't. "I love you Jackie" then he walked out the door and to his room. Steven leaned his head against his door, breathing deeply, trying to calm down his heart. He couldn't believe he had just said all that to Jackie. He kept waiting for her to say something.
Like good to know.
By far, Steven thought with a smile, the most annoying phrase to ever- especially when thrown back at him by Jackie. What was he going to do now? Was she ever going to NOT going to be mad at him? And what was he going to do in one week to convince her?
*************
Jackie stared at the closed door. One week? She was suppose to get over being mad at him in one week? Was the dope he had been smoking lately gone bad? She turned back into the room, muttering to herself then stopped. She couldn't sleep in that bed, not the one where they had-all last night, this morning then tonight. She couldn't get back into that bed. Where the hell was she going to sleep?
Jackie sat down on the bed, feeling the sadness overwhelm her again. What was she going to do without him?
