Tales of the BalanceKeeper: Planetouched 1/2
Disclaimer: Ranma and Dungeons & Dragons do not belong to me - if they did, I'd skip uni and go straight to retirement. But they don't, so I can't.
A/N: I tried to include a bit more humour this time
" " - speech
' ' - character thoughts and BalanceKeeper's primary mind's thoughts
[ ] - BalanceKeeper's alternate minds' thoughts
* * - mental suggestion
Chapter 1 - The Wierdness Has Begun!
"Oh, Ranma, Akane, are you two going somewhere?" Kasumi called as she poked her head out from the kitchen. Ranma froze involuntarily, like a kid busted with his hand in the cookie jar, 'Damn, how the hell does she do that? I was makin no noise at all' before replying, "Uh yeah.", a guilty look on his face.
Akane Tendo glared at Ranma when she realised that her fiance had no intention of saying anything more, so she took the iniative. "Why?"
Kasumi walked over, handing Akane a grocery list, written in that flawless script of hers, "Could you pick these up for me on the way back please? I've already paid for them." "Sure, no problem Kasumi." "Oh, and Ranma, do you know where your father is? I haven't seen him all day."
At the mention of his father, Ranma's face lost its guilty look, and assumed a weary one, "Yeah, Pops said he wanted to do some trainin, out in 'the harsh reality of Nature', as he put it. Guess he thought he was gettin soft, sittin around all day."
"Oh my. Well, you two have fun. Bye." Kasumi said with her usual cheery smile as she headed back to the kitchen.
"So Ranma, why didn't you go with him?" Akane asked as they left the Tendo Dojo. Ranma smirked, recalling the conversation that had marked the start of Genma's 'training trip', "Pops was goin on about how he wanted to get in touch with his Animal Self, like it was some mystical thing. I ain't interested in that, 'cause the last time the old man got in touch with his 'Animal Self', I got wrapped in sausages and tossed to a bunch of c-cats-s." Ranma shuddered slightly, recalling the training that had imprinted the Neko-Ken on his mind.
"Maybe he's discovered a new animalism technique," Akane mused aloud, a hint of an evil grin showing on her face, "Perhaps he's discovered the secret of the legendary technique capable of defeating the Neko-Ken......"
"Huh?" Ranma was confused, "The Neko-Ken's supposed to be unbeatable. What are you talkin about Akane?"
"I'm talking about," Akane paused for dramatic effect - Ranma was more gullible than she thought, "the Inu-Ken!"
Ranma facefaulted, and Akane kept on walking and laughing. "That wasn't funny Akane!" Ranma fumed.
His efforts earned him another bout of laughter.
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"Ah....". Chris (despite having earnt the title BalanceKeeper, he still thought of himself as the Prime Material-native human he had been born as) breathed deeply, basking in the rich scent of the forrest air. 'No two forrests smell alike....it's a new experience each time' [Yeah, a constant chance to revel in the smell of different rotting vegetation! Joy] 'Shut up. No-one asked you.' He shook his head, aware that it was his own damn fault that he even had multiple minds, much less opinionated ones that talked back. It was a side-effect of the Unifying ritual, the ceremony that had elevated him to the level of BalanceKeeper and awakened the full potential within him. The ceremony that he alone survived, that proved he was indeed a Master of Spiritual Dualism. The ritual that had cost seventeen other people, people he'd come to consider friends, their lives. 'No, no ... that's in the past, so leave it in the past.' [Running away from the painful memories?]. Chris frowned, 'Shut up. There are more painful ones than that.' [Yeah, like the ones that made you want to be a Planar. That's called revenge, not not-running-away] 'I know that'. Chris scowled, weary of the internal dialogue. Continuing to walk, he reached out with his will, forming a bubble of warm air around himself, encapsualed within a layer of cold air. Satisfied with the thermal bubble, he pressed on towards the closest concentration of intelligent life.
Several uneventful minutes passed. Chris walked in silence, looking around, noting the various animals that were eating, or flitting from tree to tree, or practising martial arts, or... 'WHAT?!'. He stopped, looked the other way, blinked several times, and turned his gaze back to what he'd seen. About the same time, the panda that was the subject of Chris' scrutiny decided to stop practicing its kick-combination, and turned to regard its visitor.
Neither one moved. The wind picked up and whistled through the trees (as it does in this sort of situation), and then died down. Neither Planar nor Panda moved.
The panda took the iniative, holding up a sign, "I'm a panda." scribbled hastily on it.
"Clearly." came the response. "All the pandas I know practice martial arts."
The panda held up another sign, "Really?"
"No, of course not - they're PANDAS!" Feeling perplexed - he was talking to a panda, after all - Chris sent out a tendril of will, touching the mind before him, and was shocked as he discovered a human consciousness. "What in the Nine Hells?...a HUMAN?"
Again, the panda produced a sign, "I'm a panda." To demonstrate this point, the panda produced a ball, which it began to play with.
"....this is wierd, even by my standards." With that, Chris started walking again, acutely aware of his hunger. 'Dammit, that panda slowed me down in my quest for food.'
Genma-panda watched the young man walk away, then assumed the victory stance. 'That's why I'm a master of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts!' he proudly congratulated himself. He then noticed the strange looks being turned on him by all the other animals. Once more, he produced the sign, "I'm a panda." The animals collectively sweatdropped.
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"Look Akane, it was NOT my fault! It's not like I ASKED for Kodachi to do any of that!", "Sure Ranma, and it really looked like you were trying to stop her too!", "Uncute tomboy!", "Pervert!" - as usual, Akane and Ranma were arguing. And, as usual, no-one else paid any attention, the denizens of Nerima very familiar (painfully in some cases) with the situation, and the non-denizen too absorbed in finding something to eat to notice.
'Ucchan's Okonomiyaki....well, looks like an eatery.' [Odd name though....wonder what they serve] [Remember what happened the last time we ate strangely-named food from a different plane!] 'Hey, how was I supposed to know that in Sigil, it was possible to preserve a demon's body so it could be eaten!'. Still, the point was valid - Lemure flesh doesn't taste good, a fact Chris had learnt the hard way. So that was one option down.
Walking on, Chris stumbled across another possiblity. "Hmm. Cat Cafe. Cat? Uhhhh..." [Hey, at least both words are recognisable] [And it can't hurt to ask]. With firm resolve, he opened the door to the Cat Cafe and walked in.
A beautiful, cheerful young lady with long, lavander hair greeted him. "Welcome to Cat Cafe!" she said brightly, bowing as she did so. 'Wow, what a beauty.' "Ah, thank you miss," he replied, bowing in return, a bit awkwardly, "I do have a question though. You don't, serve, cat, do you?", he asked, dreading the possible response.
'Aiyah! Would be bad for Shampoo if that were case!' Shampoo thought to herself, "No no, serve too-too delicious noodle dishes - ramen. Come, I show you to table." She waited for Chris to sit before asking, "Seeing is first time at Cat Cafe, would like to try house special?", "Yes please, that sounds good.", "OK, will get house special." As she turned, she called out, "Mousse, we have a customer!" Chris watched Shampoo as she went into the kitchen. [Whoo boy, now THAT's something you won't see everyday!] 'No joke. This could be interesting'. Chris looked up as a tall lad walked over to his table.
"Hello sir, can I get you something to drink?" The lad's tone was weary, as though he had no energy for the task before him.
"A glass of cold water would be great."
"C-Cold w-water? Right away." Mousse left to fulfil the order.
Chris sat back in the seat. From the casual mind-glances he'd had of some of the locals, he knew that the monetary unit here was the 'yen'. Setting himself, he summoned a wad of notes, all yen. 'Heh, no doubt some account of mine back on the Prime just got debited - banks seem to have a way of knowing these things'. Of course, he could've bluffed his way through when it came time to pay for the meal, simply 'convincing' the proprieter that he had indeed paid already. But that was a tad unbalancing, and not the sort of behaviour a Lightsider should engage in at the best of times. No matter - food was more important, after all!
In the kitchen, Shampoo watched her great-grandmother Cologne prepare the house special for the latest customer. "So Shampoo, tell me about this customer." Cologne said in that slightly-knowing voice of hers. Shampoo eagerly obliged, "Well, great-grandmother, he is very tall, is polite, and too-too handsome!", "Even more so than Son-in-Law?". At this, Shampoo blushed cutely, prompting Cologne to cackle. "Just remember child - it matters not where you get your appetite, so long as you have your meal at home! Hahahaha!". She scooped the noodles into a bowl and handed it to Shampoo, who left straight away to serve the meal.
Meanwhile, Chris had decided to do some more 'scanning' with his ki-sense. 'Interesting - three of those strong signatures are very close, hell, practically on top of me! I wonder....hmm, another three in the general area' [Don't forget to scan for arcane spell-flingers!] 'Fine, fine.'. Scanning with his balance-sense this time, he checked for the tell-tale reality-snarl that was characteristic of the arcane. It was with some relief that he discovered that could manipulate arcane energy were comparitively weak (at least in terms of what he was used to dealing with) and a considerable distance away.
"Your meal is ready. Enjoy!" Shampoo set the bowl down in front of Chris. "I will, thank you. Oh, one other thing miss - sorry, I don't know your name,", "Is Xian Pu.", "Miss Xian Pu, are you a martial artist, by any chance?" He looked at Shampoo innocently, but he was already fairly certain. Still, it helped to be sure.
"Oh yes, Shampoo is great martial artist, and Champion of Amazon tribe. Why you ask?", "Oh, you just seemed to have the natural grace of a martial artist." Chris replied with a smile. Shampoo blushed, 'Why I blushing? Many males complimented me before, so why this one different? Must be smile.' "T-thank you. Please, enjoy meal." she smiled back, and retreated back to the kitchen as fast as she could. She felt decidedly out-of-breath. Cologne simply smiled - her great-granddaughter was still so innocent.
Back in the cafe proper, Chris tucked into the ramen, savouring the distinctive flavour. [So, you finally figured out what you can do with that smile, huh?], 'I knew all along what I could do with it - I just kept my ability in check. Now be quiet, I'm trying to eat.', [Yeah, yeah, right.]
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"Please come back to Cat Cafe soon!". Chris smiled, "I will - that was the best meal I've had in a long time." [Why don't you tell her WHY?] 'Gee, I wonder. Think it has anything to do with the fact that it would sound like I'm CRAZY?', [....maybe.], "Until then." He waved goodbye, and went outside, donning his sunnies once more.
No longer absorbed in his hunger, he became aware of the couple across the street who were arguing, and a heated argument it was too, though clearly this was the tail-end of it.
"C'mon Akane, you know your cookin's lethal.". Akane saw red, "Well EXCUSE ME for not being a good cook! Why don't you just get something from SHAMPOO!" and produced a huge mallet out of nowhere. However, instead of sending Ranma into low orbit or magma-diving like she normally did, she hit him as though playing baseball. She even put topspin on him, so he went up a short bit, before having his face driven into the ground. He skidded to the Cat Cafe, finally stopping at Chris' feet.
"Hey man, are you ok?" an understandably-concerned Chris asked - after all, humans typically don't come out of a mallet-encounter like that without some injuries to show for it.
"I'm just fine." Or at least, that's what Ranma would've said if his voice wasn't muffled by the ground his face was get acquainted with. Taking the hand being offered, Ranma got up and dusted himself off. Chris noted, "She must be really sensitive about her cooking."
Ranma snorted, "Yeah, too bad she's no good at it." Chris realised that there was an opportunity to do a good deed here. "Still, it doesn't seem to be something worth fighting about." At the same time, he planted a suggestion in Ranma's mind, *Go on - appologise to her. She just might listen*. Ranma sighed, before replying, "Maybe I should appologise, but she probably won't listen to me anyway.", "Oh, I don't know - she just might." and with that in mind, he planted a suggestion in Akane's mind, *He just might appologise - it wouldn't hurt to listen*. Ranma then noticed that Akane was indeed walking over towards him. He made his decision. "Alright, I'll appologise to her.", "Good idea. By the way, I'm Chris." Ranma took the proffered hand and shook it, "Ranma Saotome." The two young men waited for Akane to cross the street.
"Ranma?" Akane had an expectant look in her eye, and Ranma seemed to pick up on it. "I'm sorry about what I said about your cooking Akane." Ranma waited for her response, eyes cast down. Akane appeared to consider his words, then smiled softly, "I forgive you Ranma." Ranma looked up and smiled as well, and then proceeded with introductions, "Akane, this is Chris. Chris, Akane.", "Pleased to meet you Akane."
"You too." Akane replied. True to training, Chris quickly ki-scanned them both (Akane had, after all, pulled a mallet out of nowhere) and was surprised to learn that Ranma Saotome was the source of the strongest ki signature he could detect. 'Interesting.', [Can't you think of anything else?], 'Does Shut up count?'.
Ranma's luck promptly ran out, as a passing cyclist went through a puddle, splashing Ranma thoroughly. Chris was understandably shocked, as evidenced by the sudden, "WHAT THE HELL?!" that burst forth. Ranma-chan looked at Akane, who looked back at Ranma-chan, who then both looked at Chris.
"Ever heard of Jusenkyo?" Ranma-chan asked. Chris nodded in the negative. "Ok, it's like this-"
"Akane Tendo, and the Pigtailed Goddess! I would grant you the honour of dating with me!"
Ranma-chan and Akane both slapped their foreheads in an aggrieved fashion when they heard the speaker's voice. Chris looked in the direction where the words had originated from, and had to work hard to not laugh at the sight that greeted him.
The speaker was a young man, dressed in loose-fitting pants and a dark blue top of similar make. He was also holding a bokken in his right hand. He had a proud, haughty air, and his eyes were shining - no doubt with madness.
Chris looked at him, then back to the two ladies, "You know this clown?". They both nodded in the affirmative.
"Clown?! And who are you knave, that you would speak with such familiarity to the beautous Akane Tendo and the fiery Pigtailed Goddess?!"
"I'm-"
"Hold! Is not the custom to give one's own name first? Very well, mine I shall give!"
The young man assumed a pose, and began speaking in a theatrical voice.
"Called the rising star of the kendo world, my speed is unmatched! My strength is limitless! I am called the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"
In keeping with the theatrical nature, a bolt of lightning chose to flash from the clouds at that moment.
"Tatewaki Kuno, age 17."
Chris regarded Kuno silently for a few seconds. Finally, "Uh huh. Right." [Is this guy for real?], 'Well, he doesn't seem to be joking, but it could just be the joke's not that funny.'
"And? Have you nothing else to add? Will you not introduce yourself, that I might know who dares to speak so familiarly to Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Goddess?" Kuno asked, clearly incensed.
"I'm Chris."
"...And?"
"Have you considered counselling?", still being asked in the same dry tone.
"You DARE to suggest that Tatewaki Kuno is in some way less than in control of his faculties?!" Kuno was now outraged.
"Yes - you seem to be delusional."
"Blue Thunder shall smite you for that!" Kuno raised his bokken in preparation to strike.
"Hey Chris, are you sure you want to do this?" Ranma-chan asked in a low voice, concerned. 'I mean, it's only Kuno, but against a normal person, he's a tough opponent' Ranma-chan thought worriedly.
"Um, excuse me...." Kuno looked miffed at being ignored.
"Thank you for your concern, but it's not necessary. I believe I will enjoy this." Chris smiled, and assumed a defensive stance, "Any time you feel ready, Tatewaki."
"Ranma," Akane whispered, "That's a-"
"A Kempo stance. Yeah, you're right, Akane."
"That I shall!" Kuno yelled.
Chris grinned, "Bring it, human."
Kuno lunged in a huge overhead strike. Chris deftly stepped forward - 'Wow, pretty fast for a human' - and planted his fist in Kuno's stomach. Before Kuno could react, he bear-pawed Kuno in the jaw, before delivering a sharp thrust kick to the chest. Kuno went flying. The impact with the ground knocked him senseless.
Chris just smiled slightly, "Heheh. Pitiful." He turned around to Ranma and Akane, saying, "Well, that wasn't so hard- what?"
Ranma and Akane both stood there, mute, unable to do anything but point at his head.
"What, is there something in my hair?", he asked as he put his hands up to his head, "What? What? Wh-" He stopped abruptly as his hands found his ears. His _pointed_, _elongated_ ears. He then checked his mouth, especially his canines, his _pointed_, _elongated_ canines.
"Hm. Bugger."
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A/N: Ok, ok! I'm Australian - I was going to put 'bugger' in there somewhere! Obviously an explanation is coming up. Please review.
Disclaimer: Ranma and Dungeons & Dragons do not belong to me - if they did, I'd skip uni and go straight to retirement. But they don't, so I can't.
A/N: I tried to include a bit more humour this time
" " - speech
' ' - character thoughts and BalanceKeeper's primary mind's thoughts
[ ] - BalanceKeeper's alternate minds' thoughts
* * - mental suggestion
Chapter 1 - The Wierdness Has Begun!
"Oh, Ranma, Akane, are you two going somewhere?" Kasumi called as she poked her head out from the kitchen. Ranma froze involuntarily, like a kid busted with his hand in the cookie jar, 'Damn, how the hell does she do that? I was makin no noise at all' before replying, "Uh yeah.", a guilty look on his face.
Akane Tendo glared at Ranma when she realised that her fiance had no intention of saying anything more, so she took the iniative. "Why?"
Kasumi walked over, handing Akane a grocery list, written in that flawless script of hers, "Could you pick these up for me on the way back please? I've already paid for them." "Sure, no problem Kasumi." "Oh, and Ranma, do you know where your father is? I haven't seen him all day."
At the mention of his father, Ranma's face lost its guilty look, and assumed a weary one, "Yeah, Pops said he wanted to do some trainin, out in 'the harsh reality of Nature', as he put it. Guess he thought he was gettin soft, sittin around all day."
"Oh my. Well, you two have fun. Bye." Kasumi said with her usual cheery smile as she headed back to the kitchen.
"So Ranma, why didn't you go with him?" Akane asked as they left the Tendo Dojo. Ranma smirked, recalling the conversation that had marked the start of Genma's 'training trip', "Pops was goin on about how he wanted to get in touch with his Animal Self, like it was some mystical thing. I ain't interested in that, 'cause the last time the old man got in touch with his 'Animal Self', I got wrapped in sausages and tossed to a bunch of c-cats-s." Ranma shuddered slightly, recalling the training that had imprinted the Neko-Ken on his mind.
"Maybe he's discovered a new animalism technique," Akane mused aloud, a hint of an evil grin showing on her face, "Perhaps he's discovered the secret of the legendary technique capable of defeating the Neko-Ken......"
"Huh?" Ranma was confused, "The Neko-Ken's supposed to be unbeatable. What are you talkin about Akane?"
"I'm talking about," Akane paused for dramatic effect - Ranma was more gullible than she thought, "the Inu-Ken!"
Ranma facefaulted, and Akane kept on walking and laughing. "That wasn't funny Akane!" Ranma fumed.
His efforts earned him another bout of laughter.
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"Ah....". Chris (despite having earnt the title BalanceKeeper, he still thought of himself as the Prime Material-native human he had been born as) breathed deeply, basking in the rich scent of the forrest air. 'No two forrests smell alike....it's a new experience each time' [Yeah, a constant chance to revel in the smell of different rotting vegetation! Joy] 'Shut up. No-one asked you.' He shook his head, aware that it was his own damn fault that he even had multiple minds, much less opinionated ones that talked back. It was a side-effect of the Unifying ritual, the ceremony that had elevated him to the level of BalanceKeeper and awakened the full potential within him. The ceremony that he alone survived, that proved he was indeed a Master of Spiritual Dualism. The ritual that had cost seventeen other people, people he'd come to consider friends, their lives. 'No, no ... that's in the past, so leave it in the past.' [Running away from the painful memories?]. Chris frowned, 'Shut up. There are more painful ones than that.' [Yeah, like the ones that made you want to be a Planar. That's called revenge, not not-running-away] 'I know that'. Chris scowled, weary of the internal dialogue. Continuing to walk, he reached out with his will, forming a bubble of warm air around himself, encapsualed within a layer of cold air. Satisfied with the thermal bubble, he pressed on towards the closest concentration of intelligent life.
Several uneventful minutes passed. Chris walked in silence, looking around, noting the various animals that were eating, or flitting from tree to tree, or practising martial arts, or... 'WHAT?!'. He stopped, looked the other way, blinked several times, and turned his gaze back to what he'd seen. About the same time, the panda that was the subject of Chris' scrutiny decided to stop practicing its kick-combination, and turned to regard its visitor.
Neither one moved. The wind picked up and whistled through the trees (as it does in this sort of situation), and then died down. Neither Planar nor Panda moved.
The panda took the iniative, holding up a sign, "I'm a panda." scribbled hastily on it.
"Clearly." came the response. "All the pandas I know practice martial arts."
The panda held up another sign, "Really?"
"No, of course not - they're PANDAS!" Feeling perplexed - he was talking to a panda, after all - Chris sent out a tendril of will, touching the mind before him, and was shocked as he discovered a human consciousness. "What in the Nine Hells?...a HUMAN?"
Again, the panda produced a sign, "I'm a panda." To demonstrate this point, the panda produced a ball, which it began to play with.
"....this is wierd, even by my standards." With that, Chris started walking again, acutely aware of his hunger. 'Dammit, that panda slowed me down in my quest for food.'
Genma-panda watched the young man walk away, then assumed the victory stance. 'That's why I'm a master of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts!' he proudly congratulated himself. He then noticed the strange looks being turned on him by all the other animals. Once more, he produced the sign, "I'm a panda." The animals collectively sweatdropped.
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"Look Akane, it was NOT my fault! It's not like I ASKED for Kodachi to do any of that!", "Sure Ranma, and it really looked like you were trying to stop her too!", "Uncute tomboy!", "Pervert!" - as usual, Akane and Ranma were arguing. And, as usual, no-one else paid any attention, the denizens of Nerima very familiar (painfully in some cases) with the situation, and the non-denizen too absorbed in finding something to eat to notice.
'Ucchan's Okonomiyaki....well, looks like an eatery.' [Odd name though....wonder what they serve] [Remember what happened the last time we ate strangely-named food from a different plane!] 'Hey, how was I supposed to know that in Sigil, it was possible to preserve a demon's body so it could be eaten!'. Still, the point was valid - Lemure flesh doesn't taste good, a fact Chris had learnt the hard way. So that was one option down.
Walking on, Chris stumbled across another possiblity. "Hmm. Cat Cafe. Cat? Uhhhh..." [Hey, at least both words are recognisable] [And it can't hurt to ask]. With firm resolve, he opened the door to the Cat Cafe and walked in.
A beautiful, cheerful young lady with long, lavander hair greeted him. "Welcome to Cat Cafe!" she said brightly, bowing as she did so. 'Wow, what a beauty.' "Ah, thank you miss," he replied, bowing in return, a bit awkwardly, "I do have a question though. You don't, serve, cat, do you?", he asked, dreading the possible response.
'Aiyah! Would be bad for Shampoo if that were case!' Shampoo thought to herself, "No no, serve too-too delicious noodle dishes - ramen. Come, I show you to table." She waited for Chris to sit before asking, "Seeing is first time at Cat Cafe, would like to try house special?", "Yes please, that sounds good.", "OK, will get house special." As she turned, she called out, "Mousse, we have a customer!" Chris watched Shampoo as she went into the kitchen. [Whoo boy, now THAT's something you won't see everyday!] 'No joke. This could be interesting'. Chris looked up as a tall lad walked over to his table.
"Hello sir, can I get you something to drink?" The lad's tone was weary, as though he had no energy for the task before him.
"A glass of cold water would be great."
"C-Cold w-water? Right away." Mousse left to fulfil the order.
Chris sat back in the seat. From the casual mind-glances he'd had of some of the locals, he knew that the monetary unit here was the 'yen'. Setting himself, he summoned a wad of notes, all yen. 'Heh, no doubt some account of mine back on the Prime just got debited - banks seem to have a way of knowing these things'. Of course, he could've bluffed his way through when it came time to pay for the meal, simply 'convincing' the proprieter that he had indeed paid already. But that was a tad unbalancing, and not the sort of behaviour a Lightsider should engage in at the best of times. No matter - food was more important, after all!
In the kitchen, Shampoo watched her great-grandmother Cologne prepare the house special for the latest customer. "So Shampoo, tell me about this customer." Cologne said in that slightly-knowing voice of hers. Shampoo eagerly obliged, "Well, great-grandmother, he is very tall, is polite, and too-too handsome!", "Even more so than Son-in-Law?". At this, Shampoo blushed cutely, prompting Cologne to cackle. "Just remember child - it matters not where you get your appetite, so long as you have your meal at home! Hahahaha!". She scooped the noodles into a bowl and handed it to Shampoo, who left straight away to serve the meal.
Meanwhile, Chris had decided to do some more 'scanning' with his ki-sense. 'Interesting - three of those strong signatures are very close, hell, practically on top of me! I wonder....hmm, another three in the general area' [Don't forget to scan for arcane spell-flingers!] 'Fine, fine.'. Scanning with his balance-sense this time, he checked for the tell-tale reality-snarl that was characteristic of the arcane. It was with some relief that he discovered that could manipulate arcane energy were comparitively weak (at least in terms of what he was used to dealing with) and a considerable distance away.
"Your meal is ready. Enjoy!" Shampoo set the bowl down in front of Chris. "I will, thank you. Oh, one other thing miss - sorry, I don't know your name,", "Is Xian Pu.", "Miss Xian Pu, are you a martial artist, by any chance?" He looked at Shampoo innocently, but he was already fairly certain. Still, it helped to be sure.
"Oh yes, Shampoo is great martial artist, and Champion of Amazon tribe. Why you ask?", "Oh, you just seemed to have the natural grace of a martial artist." Chris replied with a smile. Shampoo blushed, 'Why I blushing? Many males complimented me before, so why this one different? Must be smile.' "T-thank you. Please, enjoy meal." she smiled back, and retreated back to the kitchen as fast as she could. She felt decidedly out-of-breath. Cologne simply smiled - her great-granddaughter was still so innocent.
Back in the cafe proper, Chris tucked into the ramen, savouring the distinctive flavour. [So, you finally figured out what you can do with that smile, huh?], 'I knew all along what I could do with it - I just kept my ability in check. Now be quiet, I'm trying to eat.', [Yeah, yeah, right.]
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"Please come back to Cat Cafe soon!". Chris smiled, "I will - that was the best meal I've had in a long time." [Why don't you tell her WHY?] 'Gee, I wonder. Think it has anything to do with the fact that it would sound like I'm CRAZY?', [....maybe.], "Until then." He waved goodbye, and went outside, donning his sunnies once more.
No longer absorbed in his hunger, he became aware of the couple across the street who were arguing, and a heated argument it was too, though clearly this was the tail-end of it.
"C'mon Akane, you know your cookin's lethal.". Akane saw red, "Well EXCUSE ME for not being a good cook! Why don't you just get something from SHAMPOO!" and produced a huge mallet out of nowhere. However, instead of sending Ranma into low orbit or magma-diving like she normally did, she hit him as though playing baseball. She even put topspin on him, so he went up a short bit, before having his face driven into the ground. He skidded to the Cat Cafe, finally stopping at Chris' feet.
"Hey man, are you ok?" an understandably-concerned Chris asked - after all, humans typically don't come out of a mallet-encounter like that without some injuries to show for it.
"I'm just fine." Or at least, that's what Ranma would've said if his voice wasn't muffled by the ground his face was get acquainted with. Taking the hand being offered, Ranma got up and dusted himself off. Chris noted, "She must be really sensitive about her cooking."
Ranma snorted, "Yeah, too bad she's no good at it." Chris realised that there was an opportunity to do a good deed here. "Still, it doesn't seem to be something worth fighting about." At the same time, he planted a suggestion in Ranma's mind, *Go on - appologise to her. She just might listen*. Ranma sighed, before replying, "Maybe I should appologise, but she probably won't listen to me anyway.", "Oh, I don't know - she just might." and with that in mind, he planted a suggestion in Akane's mind, *He just might appologise - it wouldn't hurt to listen*. Ranma then noticed that Akane was indeed walking over towards him. He made his decision. "Alright, I'll appologise to her.", "Good idea. By the way, I'm Chris." Ranma took the proffered hand and shook it, "Ranma Saotome." The two young men waited for Akane to cross the street.
"Ranma?" Akane had an expectant look in her eye, and Ranma seemed to pick up on it. "I'm sorry about what I said about your cooking Akane." Ranma waited for her response, eyes cast down. Akane appeared to consider his words, then smiled softly, "I forgive you Ranma." Ranma looked up and smiled as well, and then proceeded with introductions, "Akane, this is Chris. Chris, Akane.", "Pleased to meet you Akane."
"You too." Akane replied. True to training, Chris quickly ki-scanned them both (Akane had, after all, pulled a mallet out of nowhere) and was surprised to learn that Ranma Saotome was the source of the strongest ki signature he could detect. 'Interesting.', [Can't you think of anything else?], 'Does Shut up count?'.
Ranma's luck promptly ran out, as a passing cyclist went through a puddle, splashing Ranma thoroughly. Chris was understandably shocked, as evidenced by the sudden, "WHAT THE HELL?!" that burst forth. Ranma-chan looked at Akane, who looked back at Ranma-chan, who then both looked at Chris.
"Ever heard of Jusenkyo?" Ranma-chan asked. Chris nodded in the negative. "Ok, it's like this-"
"Akane Tendo, and the Pigtailed Goddess! I would grant you the honour of dating with me!"
Ranma-chan and Akane both slapped their foreheads in an aggrieved fashion when they heard the speaker's voice. Chris looked in the direction where the words had originated from, and had to work hard to not laugh at the sight that greeted him.
The speaker was a young man, dressed in loose-fitting pants and a dark blue top of similar make. He was also holding a bokken in his right hand. He had a proud, haughty air, and his eyes were shining - no doubt with madness.
Chris looked at him, then back to the two ladies, "You know this clown?". They both nodded in the affirmative.
"Clown?! And who are you knave, that you would speak with such familiarity to the beautous Akane Tendo and the fiery Pigtailed Goddess?!"
"I'm-"
"Hold! Is not the custom to give one's own name first? Very well, mine I shall give!"
The young man assumed a pose, and began speaking in a theatrical voice.
"Called the rising star of the kendo world, my speed is unmatched! My strength is limitless! I am called the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"
In keeping with the theatrical nature, a bolt of lightning chose to flash from the clouds at that moment.
"Tatewaki Kuno, age 17."
Chris regarded Kuno silently for a few seconds. Finally, "Uh huh. Right." [Is this guy for real?], 'Well, he doesn't seem to be joking, but it could just be the joke's not that funny.'
"And? Have you nothing else to add? Will you not introduce yourself, that I might know who dares to speak so familiarly to Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Goddess?" Kuno asked, clearly incensed.
"I'm Chris."
"...And?"
"Have you considered counselling?", still being asked in the same dry tone.
"You DARE to suggest that Tatewaki Kuno is in some way less than in control of his faculties?!" Kuno was now outraged.
"Yes - you seem to be delusional."
"Blue Thunder shall smite you for that!" Kuno raised his bokken in preparation to strike.
"Hey Chris, are you sure you want to do this?" Ranma-chan asked in a low voice, concerned. 'I mean, it's only Kuno, but against a normal person, he's a tough opponent' Ranma-chan thought worriedly.
"Um, excuse me...." Kuno looked miffed at being ignored.
"Thank you for your concern, but it's not necessary. I believe I will enjoy this." Chris smiled, and assumed a defensive stance, "Any time you feel ready, Tatewaki."
"Ranma," Akane whispered, "That's a-"
"A Kempo stance. Yeah, you're right, Akane."
"That I shall!" Kuno yelled.
Chris grinned, "Bring it, human."
Kuno lunged in a huge overhead strike. Chris deftly stepped forward - 'Wow, pretty fast for a human' - and planted his fist in Kuno's stomach. Before Kuno could react, he bear-pawed Kuno in the jaw, before delivering a sharp thrust kick to the chest. Kuno went flying. The impact with the ground knocked him senseless.
Chris just smiled slightly, "Heheh. Pitiful." He turned around to Ranma and Akane, saying, "Well, that wasn't so hard- what?"
Ranma and Akane both stood there, mute, unable to do anything but point at his head.
"What, is there something in my hair?", he asked as he put his hands up to his head, "What? What? Wh-" He stopped abruptly as his hands found his ears. His _pointed_, _elongated_ ears. He then checked his mouth, especially his canines, his _pointed_, _elongated_ canines.
"Hm. Bugger."
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A/N: Ok, ok! I'm Australian - I was going to put 'bugger' in there somewhere! Obviously an explanation is coming up. Please review.
