*** You know sometimes I worry that we write these disclaimers. I mean somedays I get the feeling that J.K.Rowling and her lawyers may have something better to do than to search through each and every fanfic out in the vast ocean of information that is "THE INTERNET!" Then reality sets in and I realise that of course her lawyers don't do it… MI6 takes care of it for them. So Mr Super Intelligence Agency how do you like this? The characters, world, and various laughable magic devices all belong to J.K.Rowling. The stuff from the world of darkness belongs to white-wolf publishers and due to default everything else (being the mercenaries) belongs to me. Hah you thought I wasn't going to write an introduction. You thought you'd pounce right when I was least suspecting it. Constant vigilance… oh and ah please review…***
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Classwork
The first day of school was always exciting for every student at Hogwarts, even those who were in the seventh year never tired from the infinite new spells animals and charms available in the magic world. Potions on the other hand had an audience with mixed views.
"Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them!" Dean growled as he and Seamus entered the great hall.
"Tell me again about that muggle law 'justifiable homicide,' I'm sure we could be acquitted by an understanding jury for that." Seamus was still seething over Snape giving him four out of ten for his holiday work.
"Hey what's that?" Dean drew Seamus over to a notice on the wall. On the parchment was long spidery writing spinning up from nowhere in particular to form a message.
"Duelling and Self Defence, a study group aimed at keeping you alive longer. Run by Professor Ethan Adonis, Order of Merlin second-class, two times Peruvian duelling master and mercenary extraordinaire. Come along four till seven and wear colours you're comfortable with… How bout it?" queried Dean. "It's worth a shot, and if the guy's like Snape we can always quit I guess."
"Quit what?" Ginny had just come over to them and glanced at the notice. "Oh him, don't worry. The third years got split up today for a practical and theoretical assessment in Defence Against the Dark Arts. He took the prac bit and they reckon his alright, quite fair with points too," finished Ginny.
"Its settled then, duelling here we come," and with that Seamus signed all their names onto the scroll, which were then sucked in and replaced with 'See you at 4.'
"What do you think the comfortable colours are about?" Asked Seamus.
"Not sure, hey do you think we can spar against each other?" Ginny added hopefully to Dean.
"Certainly." Exclaimed Seamus as Ginny's eyes lit up. "Bat-Bogey's are exactly what would make Deany boy here a sight more handsome than he is now." And before Dean could react Seamus had ran partway up the Marble staircase towards Gryffindor tower, leaving a fuming Dean in his wake and Ginny laughing in hysterics.
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"Good afternoon fourth years. I am professor Adonis; I shall be taking you for some practical work in your Defence Against the Dark Arts occasionally. This is one of those times." Ethan paused and took the measure of his audience. Many of them shivered slightly in the wind. There always was a lot of it on the north tower.
"Last year your professor didn't even attempt to teach you how to throw off the Imperius curse. I shall begin and finish that work today!" Ethan let his words hang over his students and glanced over battlements to the ground below.
"Now if you'll care to notice the door downstairs is locked and warded-" sparks flew from Ethan's wand as he locked the door amid cries of dismay "-and this class shall not leave until every person succeeds before my eyes."
"You can't make us do this." Piped up a Hufflepuff.
"Ironically that is precisely what this spell is intended for," Ethan stated blandly, "and should you choose not to try, you yourselves shall jump to your death, thus saving you the grief of somebody performing it on you later to make you do something heinous. Now all of you focus!" Horror beyond all comprehension showed in every face.
"But sir…" began another boy with dark hair.
"Ah very good Gregory, I admire volunteers. Come now, step up." Nothing further could've been on the poor boys mind but he soon found himself teetering on the edge of the battlements. Directly below him was a four hundred foot drop onto rocks. Pure fear charged through him like lightening.
"IMPERIO" roared Ethan.
The feeling of reassurance that falling would be a grand idea from the curse didn't even come close to working. Greg stepped back down to thunderous applause from the crowd. He had passed with flying colours.
"Next? Ah yes you Sam." This time a rather lanky boy with what can only be called two left feet shuffled forward and onto the battlements
"IMPERIO" roared Ethan again.
The boy began swaying and after teetering on the edge, simply fell backwards into the tower. Ethan looked critically at his wand. "Probably the wind pushed him back on." He muttered under his breath.
Much the same process followed for the rest of the class, many came close to slipping off only to snap back and step down.
"I told you he wouldn't let anyone fall. We're idiots for even thinking he was serious," hissed a Slytherin called Dezmond to his cohort Alec. Unfortunately his comment reached Ethan's ears.
"Dezmond, you're next." Dezmond strutted straight up to the ledge. "Wait a moment boy, step down a second." Obediently but puzzled Dezmond obeyed. "Let's change this a tad…here take this knife and lets see if you can stop yourself from slaughtering Alec here."
All the colour and bravado that had been in Alec's face blew away with the wind. In a blur of motion he race for the door and blew it apart at the same time. He then ran screaming down the stairway with Dezmond in hot pursuit swinging his twelve-inch blade.
"Hmm, that I guess raps it up for today. You may leave and…oh very well, fifteen points to Ravenclaw Gregory. Dismissed." And in three seconds they were.
"I think that went rather well, don't you think…Seth? Oh now where have you gone." Ethan checked his hood. Seth was still inside it but was curled up very peacefully. "Pathetic, you didn't even show yourself did you. You're nothing better than a common house cat."
Seth yawned flames into Ethan's face, rolled over and went back to sleep.
"I knew I should've got an owl."
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"Where is she?"
Dean sat in one of the chairs around the common room twiddling his wand impatiently. The boys had agreed to wait for Ginny before going down to the dueling class.
"It said four till seven and at this rate were going to get there at eight." Dean looked to his friend who for once was deeply immersed in a spell book. "Hey, earth to shamrock, what's gotten into you?"
The 'shamrock' came abruptly to earth and began distributing fireballs at Dean.
"Don't even start Dean. I'm one leprechaun you don't want to upset right now." Seamus turned down the heat and went back to his book.
"Look, so Lavender dropped you harder than a Gaelic Gobstone. I still don't get why you have this sudden urge to study. She ditched you because were snoggin with that Italian bird on your holiday not because of OWLs… by the way, did I mention nice work?" Dean knew Seamus' ego was almost as hungry as a Hippogriff, and needed constant feeding.
"Look, I figure that if Malfoy shows up and I can turn him into a ferret like Madeye did in our fourth year, my day won't be a complete disaster." said Seamus, who then turned his wand at a nearby glass and bellowed "Flaumig!" The glass sprouted hairs all over it.
"Close enough Seam. Ah, Miss Weasley. How nice of you to join us."
"Very funny Dean, do you know how long it takes to put on makeup?" Ginny glared.
"Yes and I think you've got far too much foundation and too little mascara." Seamus doubled up with laughter at Dean's girly voice.
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Cold slate surrounded the space designated for dueling. Ethan had been hoping for something a little more sophisticated from Dumbledore, but he reasoned that one shouldn't complain in times as troubled as these. Located deep in the dungeons beneath the potion rooms lay the intricate systems of piping for Hogwarts' storm-water drains. The juncture between eight of these pipes formed a cavern: twenty metres wide, fifty metres long and fifteen metres high. Ethan had spent the better part of the summer holidays enchanting each individual stone to withstand the high energies given off by misfired spells.
"INCENDIO!" Flames shot out the tip of Ethan's wand and slammed into the stone, leaving it glowing red briefly. "What do you reckon Seth? Strong enough, or maybe I should try something with a bit more strength?" Seth clapped his hands and smiled gleefully.
"Very well. FEUERFAUST!" This time a huge fireball erupted from Ethan's wand flew at the wall and then bounced back. Ethan's muscles screamed as he made his legs hurl him towards the ceiling, all the while Seth hurled himself into the path of the ball of fire.
GULP!
Seth lay down on the ground; smoke streaming out his ears and a dazed smile on his face. Up on the ceiling Ethan had found some hairline cracks to serve as handholds.
"I distinctly remember telling you that magic fire is terrible for your metabolism Seth. I don't care how tasty you think it is."
"Excuse us, is this the dueling club?" Ethan swiveled around and craned his neck to see thirty or so students looking back at him. Letting go of his handholds he dropped headfirst to the floor, turning his body halfway down to land lightly on his feet.
"It most certainly is, come in, come in. Don't mind the Peruvian Pocket Drake, he's just digesting." Ethan began to sort them into two lines against opposite walls according to height. Ginny giggled at Seth waddling away to sit on a small pipe, whilst his various organs tried to deal with the fire at 1500 degrees centigrade.
"Have you guys seen anything so cute?" asked Ginny when she had gotten over her giggles.
"Yeah, that fifth year Hufflepuff over there." Dean got a punch in the ribs from Ginny.
"Damn!" Hissed Seamus, "Malfoy ain't here and… neither are any of the other Slytherins. What are they playing at?" Dean shrugged; it didn't make any more sense to him than it did to Seamus. Normally this kind of study would be right up a Slytherins alley. The three's pondering was cut short as the professor reappeared with a large tray.
"As I come around to each of you, would you kindly choose a stone with the animal of your liking." The tray was presented to each student in turn, whereupon they chose a stone with an animal picture carved into. There were cats and dogs, tigers and dragons, lizards and eagles as well as many more. When the tray reached Dean, Seamus and Ginny, they respectively chose a tiger, dragon and an eagle. Ethan vanished the tray and stood in the middle of the chamber to address the group.
"Excellent, now if everyone can lean with their backs on the wall we shall begin. Great, now take your stone and on three place it picture down on your forehead. Ready?" Staring bewildered at each other the class orientated their stones and held them at the ready. Ginny shot a glance at Dean for an answer, but he looked equally unsure at the professor.
"One, two, three."
FOOMPH!
Blue lights rippled through the students' heads and bodies, slamming them against the wall. Ginny was about to scream when as soon as it had begun, it was finished.
"Congratulations everyone. You have just completed eighteen years of Kung Fu training." Informed Ethan as he went about helping some of the smaller students to their feet. "However, most of the techniques you now know require stamina and strength you will have to work for. Once everyone is back to their senses we shall begin the training course."
Seamus was indeed having trouble with his senses not to mention memory. Part of him told him that he had spent all his life supporting Quidditch teams and learning about magic. The other part said he had lived in a monastery ever since he was born and was taught Kung Fu by the man he saw now before him. But that was impossible, the professor didn't look more than five years his senior.
"Here we go." Everyone felt like a hook had suddenly grabbed their navels, as they swirled through space and time.
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