The Scoobies help Buffy fight a potentially invincible vampire and his demon followers. In the process, Dawn gets hit on by a cute blonde vampire who reminds her of someone. Speaking of Blondie Bear, Spike finds that even though he's human, he can still get down with his Big Bad self.

Buffy, Willow and Dawn were back home figuring out what to do. Four demons, two vampires. And one of them could be really, really powerful. Nothing Buffy couldn't handle. But it did present a challenge.

"I wish Steven were here," Dawn blurted out.

Buffy got mad. "We don't need him! I don't need any help."

Dawn explained. "No Buffy, I wasn't saying that. You're the best, we all know that. But if you're busy fighting the super-powered demon, who's gonna take care of the other five?"

"We've gotten by without help before," Buffy explained. "We don't need men to watch our backs. Angel, Riley, Connor - they come and go, we get the job done with or without them. What do we need men for?"

"What about Xander?," Willow asked.

"Yes, we need Xander," Buffy conceded. "When I said we don't need men, I wasn't talking about Xander. He's not a guy. He's better than that." This reminded Buffy to call Xander and tell him to get ready for another mission. For the first time, he turned her down.

"I'm sorry Buffy. I have plans. I have a date."

"A date's more important than saving the world from the forces of darkness?"

"We do that all the time. You know how long it's been since I've had a date? I'm sorry, but it's not like I'd really be that much help. I'll swing by afterwards. Say, could you put Willow on?"

Buffy gave the phone to Willow. "Really? It went that well. Wow! Xander, that's great. I'm so happy for you. Yeah, Zooey had a feeling about you two. I'll tell her the good news."

Buffy asked to be put back on. "Xander, if you're not gonna be part of the team tonight, could you at least get a hold of Anya? She's not answering her phone."

"Maybe she doesn't want to be reached," Xander replied.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

Xander groaned. Buffy seemed really thick today. "She's with her boyfriend. She doesn't want to be disturbed. You get my drift?"

Buffy got his drift. Anya's boyfriend was just another man making things difficult for her. She asked Willow who Xander's new girlfriend was. She didn't like the answer. Anya with Spike's drummer. Xander with Spike's piano player. Spike was still managing to annoy her.

On his way home from Buffy's, Spike was deluged by pain. He couldn't live with himself. He couldn't live with the memories of the pain he inflicted on others. But a few hours later, he found a way out. He was still a monster. He just had to learn to accept it. It seemed so easy, so seductive, so perfect. Embrace the badness, and be liberated.

It was like a drug. The euphoria, the absence of torment and self- flagellation. This was who he was. This was who he always was. Trying to be good not only hurt himself; it hurt the people he cared about. Spike got out his long leather coat, his trophy for slaying a Slayer. Spike was back, and he was going to have some fun. And then tomorrow morning he would be gone. Away from the source of his suffering and the prime victim of his malice: Buffy. He couldn't undo the damage. But he could do his best to start over. Black t-shirt, black jeans, black steel-toed boots, floor- length black leather coat. It felt good to be himself again.

It was nighttime. Buffy, Willow and Dawn were staking out the cave. Buffy had been doing some thinking. "Willow, can you be a lesbian if you don't want to have sex with women? I mean, is man-hating enough?"

"Buffy, maybe I'm going to regret saying this, but why the heck are you asking me that?"

"I've had an epiphany. One I should have had long ago. Men bad. Men very bad. I realize that now. I want nothing more to do with them. So, it got me thinking, where do I go from there?"

"Not where you think you want to. Buffy, I think your logic is deeply flawed."

"No it's not. I've had it with men. They're all dogs. Mangy, flea-ridden, foaming-at-the-mouth dogs."

"What about Xander?," Dawn asked.

"Xander doesn't count," Buffy replied. "Xander's never counted. He transcends sex. He's sexless." Willow and Dawn found this conception of eunuch Xander rather disgusting, not to mention completely ludicrous. Buffy continued. "I'm saying goodbye to guyville. And I don't see the point in half-hearted measures. If I leave one team, I should join the other."

"Why does everyone think being a lesbian is all about man-hating!," Willow interjected. "It has nothing to do with hating men. It's about loving women. You don't love women. Do you, Buffy?" This was something Willow never thought she'd ask Buffy. It had been a frightening weekend. Dawn was beginning to realize how frightening.

"No. Not yet. Not in that way. But that doesn't mean I won't. Willow, when you were in high school, you had no idea you were gay. You can never tell with these kinds of things."

"Sometimes you can. Trust me Buffy, you're not a lesbian. For the love of Hecate, did I just say that?"

"What, you don't think women would find me attractive? Don't you find me attractive?" Willow said nothing. She knew there was no good answer to that question.

"I am ending this conversation and repressing all memories of it ever taking place," Willow declared.

"Believe me, I'm way ahead of you," Dawn added in agreement.

But Buffy continued "It's simple. I refuse to let men hurt me anymore. So I have three options: lesbian, nun, Vengeance Demon."

"What about none of the above?," Willow suggested. "What about finding a good man?"

Buffy laughed. "You cannot be serious! Just look around you. Every guy I loved, every guy you loved, every guy Anya's loved, has hurt us. That's what men do. They always hurt you in the end. Love them, and they make you pay for it. Tell me when that hasn't been the case with us?"

"Not all men are like that," Dawn told Buffy. "Steven's not like that."

"Of course. 'My man's different. My man's special. He's not like all the others.' Everybody thinks that. He'll go bad. It's in his nature. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Why! Because his father went bad?"

"No. Because he's a man. They all wander. No matter how much you love them. They betray you. They abandon you. In the end, they always leave you."

Inside the cave, the demons looked intently at the knot from every angle. After much preparation, they each took a swing. Yagos went first. He swung his ax with all his might. Nothing. The other three demons each hacked at a different spot in the knot. Nothing. The harder they swung, the tighter the knot became. Instead of cutting downward, Oliver tried to cut through the knot the way one slices through a steak. Nothing.

Ascher knew Oliver was onto something. Finesse was the answer. He carefully eyed every strand of sinew. The he reached underneath the knot and with the tip of his dagger caught hold of a single strand. He gently snapped that strand. The knot slowly unraveled. And there it was. The Arete Stone. He caught it in his hand. The glory was his.

Inside the cart appeared a silver diadem. Ascher put it on his head, crowning himself. He stuck the stone into a hole in the center of the diadem. He could feel himself changing. Now he could take on anything. And the other demons knew it too.

As Spike's memories came back, he remembered the man who punched him out. After much wandering, he found this man at the door of one of a nightclub. He actually was a bouncer. Spike ached for revenge. But he was patient. He knew how to bide his time out on the hunt.

At midnight, the club closed. The bouncer walked towards his car. Spike stood next to it. He pulled out a switchblade and stuck it into one of the tires. The bouncer recognized Spike. "What's you problem? You like getting your face bashed in?"

"I like second chances. Care to give me one?," Spike asked as he walked up to the bouncer. He no longer had super powers. But he did have experience. He knew a thing or two about fighting. Enough to take down this meathead. Spike saw him prepare to throw a punch. When the bouncer pulled his right fist back, Spike shot the tips of the fingers on his right hand into the man's throat before he could unload. The bouncer put both hands to his throat as he struggled for air. Spike hit him in the nose with two left jabs. He liked being in control.

"So much for standing up for your girl," Spike taunted as he circled the wounded and bleeding man. The bouncer threw a left cross. Spike dodged it. Then he landed a right jab, left cross and right uppercut to the bouncer's face. He fell to the ground. Spike put his right foot on the man's neck and pressed down hard, choking the man into submission. "Right now, you can't even stand up." He looked over his shoulder. Two large men were approaching him. Must be this guy's friends. Spike loved a challenge.

"Would you two wankers care to join your mate?" One was to his left, the other to his right. The one to his right threw a right cross. Spike swerved to his right and hit the guy's nose with a left jab. The other guy tried to blindside Spike. He pivoted round and hit this attacker in the stomach with a right roundhouse kick. He grabbed this man's head and hit it with his knee. The other attacker charged from behind, and Spike popped him with a right elbow . Then he gave the man in front of him a quick left hook, knocking him down. Spike spun around to face his other opponent. There was a right jab headed straight for Spike's nose. He turned his head to the side, and took the blow on his left temple. The man threw a left cross. Spike grabbed his left wrist, pulled the man's arm back, took hold of his left pinky, snapped it back and broke it. The man grunted loudly in pain. Spike loved it.

The other man rose and charged Spike. He pushed the fighter with the broken pinky into the man who was charging him. They both fell down. While they were down Spike kicked each of them a few times in the ribs and spine. Then he put his boot through each of their mouths. Perhaps they'd have dental work to remember Spike by. He looked over his handiwork. Three men down. Hardly a scratch on him. Not bad.

Then Spike saw her. The blonde he hit on the previous night. The bouncer's girlfriend. "Hello cutie," Spike tremulously announced. He walked towards her. She looked scared. He frightened her. Spike liked that. He strolled right past her and headed off into the night. his coat flapping in the breeze.

"Anya, what's your history with Xander?," Sterling asked as they sat on the bed and ate dinner.

"He's just a friend from high school."

"Did you two ever go out? I just sensed something when you were with him last night, and then when he came here this morning."

Anya decided it was time to come clean. "It was nothing, really I dated Xander for a couple years. We were going to get married. He left me at the altar. That's all."

This was more than Sterling had imagined. "Wow. I'm so sorry."

"Don't feel sorry for me. I'm over it."

"No. Not you. I feel sorry for him. He had the perfect woman, and he let her go."

"Oh, stop it Sterl. I'm hardly perfect."

"Perhaps. But you are extraordinary."

"Well, if you say so," Anya responded. After all, she was extraordinary in ways Sterling couldn't possibly imagine.

"I didn't realize you were three years older that me," Xander told Elise as they walked along the sidewalk. "Lucky for you, I prefer older women." Elise was tall and thin, with long, straight black hair and bright blue eyes.

"It wasn't my intention to rob the cradle. You just seemed much more mature than any other 22 year-old guy I've met. Most men your age, they act like boys."

"One of the benefits of not going to college, I guess. Speaking of which, you went to college. You have a job. No offense, but why do you play in Spike's band?"

"Guess it's cause I'm still young enough to pretend I'm young. That's why most anyone's in a band. Getting on stage is like dipping into the Fountain of Youth. Once you leave that behind, you become just another boring adult."

"No Elise. I wasn't asking why you were in a band. I was asking why you were in Spike's band. Why Spike?"

"He's exciting, in an intense and occasionally frightening way. Spike's truly one-of-a-kind. None of us in the band knows exactly why, but we all sense this about him. Granted, in some ways he's like any other wanna-be rock star. He's so totally in it for the whole Fountain of Youth thing. We don't even know his age. He acts like he's 18 going on 38."

"Spike's very touchy about his age," Xander commented drolly. "He's been 20 for at least a decade. Me and him, we sometimes end up hanging out with the same crowd. But we're not exactly friends."

"I got that idea. He gets touchy when your name's mentioned. I think he's jealous of you, Xander. Maybe because you're so much more mature."

Xander relished the unearned praise received at Spike's expense. For the moment, he forgot that he was so "mature" that he left a woman he loved at the altar. Instead, Xander decided to go for broke. "I always thought he was jealous of my rugged masculine good looks."

"Well if he's not, he should be," Elise responded with a smirk. Then she kissed him.

"So this is it," Xander commented bittersweetly. "I just met you last night, and tomorrow you'll be gone."

"I'll be back in two weeks. Aren't I worth waiting for?," Elise asked.

"Definitely. Course that doesn't mean I'll enjoy the waiting."

"If it's any consolation, I won't enjoy it either," Elise offered. "Here's something to remind you what you're missing." She kissed him again.

"Buffy, did you feel the earth move?," Willow asked.

"No. Why?"

"No reason. Maybe it was just my knees buckling. Which they did when I saw that red flash come out of the cave. I think they got the stone."

"Bout time. I was getting sick of waiting," Buffy declared.

"Buffy, any ideas?," a nervous Dawn asked.

Inside the cave the demons were giddy

"What would you like to do," Yagos asked.

"Time to take down the Slayer," Ascher bellowed.

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself, master" Yagos respectfully dissented. "Perhaps you should use your newfound power to raise an army before crushing our enemy."

Ascher disagreed. "I already have my army."

"Well. Thank you, Master." Yagos replied. We feel honored by your complement." The other demons nodded in agreement, clearly in Ascher's thrall.

Buffy, Dawn and Willow had the disadvantage of not knowing what to expect. Though ignorant, Buffy still had to be decisive. "Here's the plan. When they come out, we go after the one with the stone. Triple-team him, try to take him out before the others can help."

"And if that doesn't work?," Willow wondered nervously.

"We split them up," Buffy answered. "I draw Stone Demon away, take him one- on-one."

"And me and Willow face the other five? What the hell kind of a plan is that!?," Dawn sensibly whined.

"You don't fight them. You lure them, you distract them. Each of you goes a different way. Neither of you goes where I go. The other demons won't want to leave their leader. They'll be drawn to the Arete. But at the same time they won't want to turn their backs on you. They'll be confused. Too confused to attack you. Before long, they'll run back to their leader. With any luck, I'll have killed him by then."

"So we're being used as bait," Willow grimly concluded.

"Willow, remember what you told me about the Arete? The demon who has it is only as strong as the demons around him. All-for-one and one-for-all. We stick together, they stick together, they remain strong. We split up, they split up, they're weakened. I'm only doing this because I have confidence in you. Dawn, Willow, you're fighters. You can more than hold your own. I believe in you guys."

What were Willow and Dawn to say to that? If they opposed Buffy's plan, they'd be opposing their own abilities and letting Buffy down. Ascher left the cave's inner room and entered the outer room. The other five followed. Ascher burst out into the night a few steps ahead of the rest, who were behind him and to his left and right. The six of them formed a rough triangle with Ascher at its apex. Outside the cave, Buffy stood with Willow and Dawn behind her, Dawn to her left and Willow to her right. So they also formed a triangle. A smaller, less imposing triangle.

"You got the guy with the crown?," Willow asked Buffy.

"Guess so," Buffy answered. She charged him. Willow and Dawn quickly followed. Ascher focused on Buffy. After all, she was the Slayer. They exchanged punches, blocking each other's first few blows. Ascher landed one punch. Buffy landed two. Dawn swung a flail above her head a few times and then struck Ascher in the hip. (Connor had taught her of the charms of this bludgeoning instrument.) Ascher winced at the blow. Buffy landed a kick to his face. Willow raised her ax and swung for his neck. Ascher was too busy with Buffy and Dawn to even notice Willow.

But Oliver came to his aid in the nick of time. He tackled Willow. The four demons focused on Dawn. By swinging her flail around, she kept them at for a few seconds. Oliver saw this and dove at Dawn from behind. Before Oliver could strike Dawn, Buffy turned to her left and kicked Oliver in the face. Ascher took advantage of Buffy's distraction to kick her in the chest and punch her in the chin. Buffy fell down, but quickly got up and fled to the right. Ascher gave chase.

When Dawn saw Buffy bolt, she raced down the hill. Oliver pursued her. Willow found herself alone with the four demons. "Why am I the only one who gets outnumbered? It's not fair," she muttered. Then she ran as fast as she could to her left.

After they finished kissing, Xander and Elise parted ways. Xander felt on top of the world as he drove home. But shortly before he reached his apartment building, he remembered something. Buffy was in trouble! He couldn't believe that he almost completely forgotten about Buffy. He slammed on the brakes, made a U-turn, screeched his tires as he accelerated, and raced to the water tower.

After about 200 yards of retreating, Buffy stopped to face Ascher. "Scared, Slayer?," he taunted.

"Not as scared as you are. Least I have the guts to fight you alone. Your pal's not here to bail you out this time." She attacked him, landed a few kicks, punched him a few times and took control of the fight. After a flying kick she went for the stake. When it was a few inches from his chest, Ascher grabbed it with both hands. Buffy held the stake in her left hand. With her right hand she reached up and grabbed Ascher's diadem. She pulled with all her might. It wouldn't budge.

Ascher laughed. "It's where it belongs," he told Buffy. Then he head-butted her, went bumpy and sent her reeling with a massive left hook which revealed how much more powerful the Arete Stone made him. Buffy got up, put her stake away, and picked up a nearby rock. She kicked him in the ribs, punched him in the stomach, and with her right and smashed the rock into the Arete stone with enough force to crack a skull as if it were an egg. If the blow didn't smash his skull, at the very least it should have crushed the Arete Stone, Ascher's power center. Destroying the enemy's power center had always worked in the past. But this time, it did nothing. Ascher didn't even look phased. He punched Buffy in the chin with a right uppercut. She flew back 15 feet and slammed into a tree trunk.

"Can't pull it off. Can't break it. What do you do now?"

"Easy. I kill you." Buffy answered, sorer but wiser.

When Dawn got too tired to sprint away from Oliver she stopped and stood her ground. She brandished her flail.

"You know what the problem is with flails?," Oliver asked as he picked up a thick tree branch. When she swung for him, he blocked the flail head with the branch. Its spikes stuck into the wood, and Oliver pulled the weapon out of Dawn's hand. "That's the problem," he told Dawn and he tossed his tree branch and her weapon to the side.

Dawn pulled out a sword. "What's with the arsenal, pet?," Oliver asked as he danced around to elude the sword. Dawn swung twice. He dodged both blows. "Afraid of me?I like that in a girl." When she swung again, he moved to the side. He kicked Dawn in the hands, knocking the sword into the air. Then he kicked her in the chest, knocking her to the ground. After all this, Oliver was still able to catch the sword in midair. He broke it across his knee and threw the broken pieces behind him. "Bloody awful piece of crap, I must say. Wouldn't you agree, love?"

Dawn realized there was something familiar about this vampire. His blonde hair. The way he talked. His swagger. His attempted menace. He was like Spike, only shorter. And not gorgeous. Definitely cute, but not gorgeous. Oliver moved in for the kill. "She can't protect you now."

"I don't need Buffy to protect me!," Dawn shouted. She threw a right punch. Oliver blocked it and hit her in the face. Then he grabbed Dawn and threw her to the ground.

"I bet the Slayer disagrees with with you on that," Oliver said as he kicked Dawn in the ribs. She rolled away and got up. "I bet she thinks you're nothing but a helpless little girl."

"Little? I'm bigger than she is," Dawn answered. Oliver charged her. She grabbed his right arm and threw him over her shoulder. Then she pulled out her stake. When she reached down to stake him, Oliver kicked her away and vaulted to his feet.

"Sounds like you resent living in her shadow," Oliver commented. He didn't know they were sisters. He just assumed Dawn was one of the Slayer's friends and helpers.

"I bet that's something you know a lot about," Dawn countered. "How does it feel to know that he's the Chosen One and you're nothing but a sidekick?" Buffy told Dawn about the two vampires she fought last night. The other vampire wore the crown, so Dawn drew the appropriate conclusions about the crownless vampire she was fighting.

"I'm his partner!," Oliver yelled as he attack Dawn in a fit of rage. He hit her first in the stomach. She crouched down and covered her face with her arms. He hit her in the side of the head, the back of the neck, then grabbed her hair. He spun Dawn around twice before hurling her head-first into a large boulder.

Dawn got up quickly. She knew she was getting to him. She slowly backpedaled to buy time. "Does he treat he treat you like a partner? Well, does he? I bet he doesn't. I bet he bosses you around, gives you orders, never listens to your ideas, treats you like a child. I bet he never even appreciates all the things you do for him."

Oliver decided to change the subject. "What is this, foreplay? Trying to bargain? Convince me to turn you rather than just kill you? You're so calm, little girl. Like maybe you've done this before. I bet I'm not the first vampire you've flirted with. You like our kind, don't you? The power, the danger. The thrill."

"Oh please. You're pathetic," Dawn sneered. "You can't kill me, so you hit on me."

Oliver growled. Dawn didn't realize the Spike-Buffy parallel she had just made. But she did realize the danger she was in. She pulled out a large cross, and held it out to keep Oliver at bay. A cross in her left hand, a stake in her right. Oliver growled again, bent his knees, as if poised to strike, and swayed side to side. "You've thought about it, haven't you? Becoming an immortal. All the pain, all the angst, it melts away." She was a teenager, so she had to feel these things.

Oliver leaped in the air and flew over Dawn's head. She turned to face him. After he landed, he kicked her with a roundhouse left and she staggered backwards. With a right kick he knocked the cross out of Dawn's left hand. Then he leaped at her and pinned her to the ground. With his left hand he held held down Dawn's right wrist so she couldn't stake him. His right hand was on her forehead. He stroked her hair. "I think you'd make a wonderful vampire," he told her as he went to bite her neck.

When Dawn felt his teeth graze the skin on her neck, she pulled up her left hand and scratched Oliver near his right eye. Dawn created a two inch-long bleeding gash on his face. Oliver yelled and grabbed his eye in pain. Dawn pushed him off of her. "Not with you as my sire!," she taunted as she got up and ran away.

Willow fled for her life in the direction of the road out of the park. She ran down the road, hoping the demons gave up the chase before they caught her. She knew this was not likely. She did whatever she could to keep them away. When she spotted a trash can, she threw it in their direction to slow them down. When she saw rocks, she picked them up and hurled them at the demons. This bought her enough time to make it to the bottom of the hill. But Willow knew that the further she ran the farther away she was from Buffy. Her situation seemed hopeless.

Xander came up the access road to the park. He turned on his high beams. In the distance he saw Willow and rolled down his window, sticking his head out. "Willow! Willow!," he screamed. "Get in!" She saw the red truck. "Xander?," she exclaimed in disbelief. He stopped. She leaped onto the flatbed. Then he shifted into reverse and quickly backed up. After creating some distance between himself and the demons, he sped forward, gunning for them. He knocked two of them down. A third demon leaped in through the passenger-side window.

"Xander, look out!," Willow yelled. She grabbed the demon by the neck from behind, and pulled it out of the truck. It fell on its back on the road. Willow leaped to the ground, raised her ax and beheaded the demon.

Willow and Xander looked at each other. "You saved me!," they exclaimed simultaneously. "Xander, get out of the truck. I think the demons went in the woods," Willow told him. Xander had no idea what was going on, so he did what Willow told him.

"A weapon? A weapon? My vehicle for a weapon?," he asked. Willow gave him the ax and took out a short sword. They went a few feet into the woods. No sign of the demons.

"Wait a second. Silly me. Back to the truck," Willow ordered. Xander, who still had no idea what was going on, thought this was an even better idea. They got into the truck. "There's a fourth one. He's not injured. If we're out there he could get us. We should go to Buffy."

Yagos met up with his injured demons. "You pathetic creatures. Anyone ever teach you how to get out of the way? Well, how are you two?" Yagos took a look. They could barely walk. They certainly couldn't fight. "You're worthless! You're worthless to me!" he said as he walked away.

"Please," one of them pleaded. "You don't leave your men behind. You're too honorable to do that,"

"You never were my men. You were always expendable. Now I can get 20 demons to replace you two."

The other injured demon now spoke up. "You mean Ascher can get 20 demons to replace us. To him, you're as worthless as we are." That hurt. Yagos knew this demon had a point. He raced back to the top of the hill.

"Go to Buffy. Always a good idea," Xander commented. "Where is Buffy?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, that can't be good." Xander gulped in fear. "Where do we go then?"

"Top of the hill, I guess. To the cave, where we started out."

Xander drove up the road. "Now that my life's in danger, care to tell me what's going on?"

"Xander stop!," Willow exclaimed. A large tree had fallen in the path of the road. Too large for Xander to drive over. He had to stop. But when he stopped, he felt the truck tip backward. Yagos had pushed the tree down. And now Yagos was lifting up Xander's truck. He got the front two wheels a few inches off the ground before Xander and Willow realized what was happening.

"It's the fourth demon!," Willow exclaimed.

"Ya think?, Xander answered sarcastically. He was used to risking his life. But he was not used to risking his life while having no idea what was trying to kill him. That was what bothered him. He put the truck in reverse. His back tires spun and the truck moved back a few feet. Yagos approached. Xander and Willow realized they couldn't drive to Buffy because of the log blocking the road. And by fleeing backwards, they were just moving further away from the Slayer. It was obvious they had to stand their ground and fight.

So Xander stopped the truck. "It's him or us, Willow. You ready?" Xander quickly sped a few feet forward to the log. Yagos leaped behind the felled tree. Xander slammed on the brakes and they both got out. They stepped over the log and approached Yagos, Xander on his right, Willow on his left. They looked very determined. Yagos didn't think these two humans were worth the risk or the effort. Also, he wanted to talk to Ascher. So he turned and fled without even throwing a blow.

Xander and Willow could not believe their luck. The demon was afraid of them! He wasn't, but that's what it looked like. "That's right, we bad," Xander bragged.

Willow smiled ear-to-ear. It was a miracle. No, it was just Xander. Come to think of it, it was both. But she went for understated sarcasm. "Harris, what took you so long?"

"I had a date. I would have been here earlier. but the woman found me irresistible."

"A highly unlikely story, but not beyond the realm of possibility," Willow joked. After all, she once found him well nigh irresistible.

The two of them started rolling the log out of the road. "Care to tell me what exactly is going on here?"

"A vampire found some mystical crown that makes him a superbad king of the demons or something. He's fighting Buffy. There's another vampire. He's fighting Dawn. And there were four demons. I had them all to myself. It's been one of those nights."

They cleared the road, got back in the truck and drove to the cave. "How did you guys get split up?," Xander wondered.

"It was Buffy's idea," Willow replied. This sounded highly unusual to Xander.

"I assume she had a good reason to do something so clearly insane."

"More of a hunch than a good reason. She wanted to isolate the leader. Thinks he's weaker without his gang."

"Perhaps. But Buffy's also weaker without her gang."

Dawn had only the most general idea of where Buffy was. Lucky for her, she was closer than she thought - about 150 yards away.

Buffy made little headway against Ascher. But he could do little to hurt her. They blocked most of each other's blows, landed a few, maneuvered around, leaped in the air, tried all their tricks. It was getting tiring. Worse than that, it was getting boring.

"Buffy!!! Buffy!!!," Dawn screamed, hoping her sister would hear.

Buffy did hear. "Dawn! Dawn, I'm over here!," she yelled so Dawn could follow her voice. Ascher also heard. He was upset. His men should have killed the girl by now. When Dawn got close, Buffy moved toward her. Ascher followed. He wasn't looking for Dawn. He was looking for whoever failed to kill Dawn.

Buffy and Dawn met up. "Dawn, are you okay? I think you're bleeding."

Dawn didn't like the way Buffy was babying her. "I'm fine. I'm here, aren't I? The other vampire went after me. I was more than he could handle."

Buffy hugged Dawn. "Of course you were. So what about the demons?"

"Demons? I didn't see any demons. Oh. They must have gone after - "

"Willow! Oh no," Buffy exclaimed. "I can't believe I let this happen." Buffy and Dawn ran back to the cave. They feared the worst.

"Why is the girl still alive?," Ascher demanded of Oliver.

"Why is the Slayer still alive?," Oliver parroted back.

"Cause she's the Slayer. Yours was just some girl. I thought you could handle a routine kill like that."

Buffy and Dawn sprinted up the hill. Dawn was tired. She had been doing a lot of running. She slowed down and started walking. Buffy slowed down. She wasn't going to abandon her sister to the neurotic by very strong vampire. Both of them heard something galloping towards them. Naturally, they assumed it was the demons. They prepared to defend themselves. Dawn picked up a large stick to attack them with. When the galloping grew close, Buffy charged. Dawn followed.

It was dark, and all they could see were two forms racing towards them. Buffy tackled one. Dawn hit the other in the head with her stick. Buffy looked to see what she was on top of. "Willow?"

Dawn heard this. She looked to see what she had hit. "Xander?"

"You're alive!," Buffy exclaimed to Willow.

"Yes. As long as you don't plan on hitting me again."

"Xander, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a demon," Dawn told him as she helped him up.

"What happened?," Buffy asked Willow.

"I was running for my life and Xander came to my rescue. Then I came to his rescue. Long story short, one demon dead, two probably out of commission, one on the run. Get this, Xander and I were going to fight him and he chickened out!"

"We scared him off! So I take it the vampires are dead?," an impatient Xander asked Buffy.

"No. They're both alive."

"They're alive. And your alive. That's not normal," Willow noted.

"They're cowards," Dawn explained.

"Then why are we just standing here?," Xander demanded to know. "I mean people, come on, how anticlimactic. Not to mention all those people who could die while we brag about how tough we are."

"Xander's right," Buffy concurred.

"Somebody remember the time and date. Come on, it's not everyday she says that," Xander quipped.

Buffy continued. "We can't led the guy with the Arete get a chance to rally other demons to his side. We gotta hunt him down now. As for the other two, forget about them. They don't matter." The four of them went back up the hill to Xander's truck. They drove around the park's perimeter. Then they checked some of the local demon hangouts, places where Ascher would find support. No unusual activity. None of the other demons even seemed to realize what was afoot. It was apparent Ascher had not made his way into town. So they went back to the vicinity of the park.

Ascher and Oliver were busy arguing. "This is so typical," Oliver began. "I see you, and you're all 'why didn't you kill the girl.' What about 'hey Oliver, thanks for saving my neck back there.' Cause I did. Literally. I don't know how many times I've saved your ass, and you've never thanked me once."

"Damn. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so needy," Ascher answered. "I thought you were a man. I didn't think you needed to be patted on the head and complimented all the time like a goddam child."

"Look, if you don't need me, I'll just be on my way. Cause I don't need to take this kind of abuse."

"Well I don't need you, Olly! You were always the one who needed me!"

"Fine, Ash. See how you good do without me. Let's see how you do when no one else is around to do things you can take credit for. You stand on someone else's shoulders and you think you're twelve feet tall. That doesn't make you a giant. It makes you a dumbass."

Ascher was furious. "You wanna see how much I need you? Here's how much I need you!" He ripped off a ten foot long branch from a nearby tree and stuck it through Oliver. Oliver looked stunned. Ascher appeared to be enraged but delighted. Then Oliver was dust. Ascher knew he didn't need him anymore. He didn't need anyone anymore.

He walked toward the town and ran into Yagos. "How ya been, Yagos? Kill anyone lately?"

"My men failed me. So I came back to you to regroup. Have you killed the Slayer?"

"Who cares about her?"

"You did. That's why you overruled me about first building up our numbers."

"How could I overrule you? You don't have a say."

"No. I guess I don't. And apparently that's the problem. We had six men. Had you listened to me, by now we would have 60. But you did things your way, and now we have two."

"Are you questioning my authority?"

"I'm questioning your use of that authority. You're squandering your power. You can't be a leader of demons if you don't any have demons to lead."

"A leader needs followers. I can always find followers. What I don't need is insubordinate traitors who are only out for themselves."

Yagos shook his head. "That's the problem with power. It's wasted on all the wrong people. Have fun on your own, Ascher." Yagos turns his back on him.

"Go ahead and walk away from your master. You'll die without me!"

Buffy heard the bickering. She recognized Ascher's voice. With Dawn, Willow and Xander in tow she approached them.

"Wrong," Buffy announced. "He'll die with you."

As much as they hated each other, Yagos and Ascher realized that right now they were in this together. Buffy stared the two of them down. Willow, Dawn and Xander moved behind them. Ascher and Yagos had become the hunted. Ascher charged Buffy, confident in his power. Yagos, who had run from Willow and Xander, now eagerly attacked Willow, Xander and Dawn. Under normal circumstances, the Scoobies would have been petrified. But when Willow and Xander looked at Yagos, they didn't see an extremely powerful demon. They saw a coward.

Ascher went after Buffy with all the vigor of a man who knew he was fighting for his life. He put her on the defensive, landed several blows, and parried her counterattacks. When she got close, he grabbed her and threw her to the ground. When she launched flying kicks, he backed up out of the way and nailed her when she returned to the ground. He was tougher than Buffy had expected.

Yagos charged Willow and knocked her to the ground. He tried to maul her. She held onto his two horns like handlebars, trying to keep his teeth away from her neck. Then the horns got all slippery. (Horns that self-lubricate when needed - a nifty evolutionary development.) Willow couldn't hold on, and she couldn't hold Yagos off. Xander and Dawn hit Yagos repeatedly from behind. He rose, grabbed Xander, and threw him twenty feet back. He took a swipe at Dawn's head. She ducked down and rolled forward.

Willow got up, grabbed her ax, and swung at Yagos. He grabbed the ax handle and tried to wrestle the weapon away from Willow. Dawn leaped on his back and put her arms around his head. She was trying to snap his neck, but she wasn't familiar with the proper technique. Still, her arms did obstruct his vision and cause him to stagger away from Willow. Xander had gotten up and took advantage of Yagos's distraction by punching him several times in the stomach. Yagos backpedaled until Dawn hit a tree trunk and let go.

Yagos was free. Be he was still surrounded. Xander punched him in the face. he knocked Xander down. Dawn came at him from behind with a stake. He turned around, grabbed the arm which held the stake, and threw Dawn in the air. She landed near Xander. Willow stuck the ax into his lower back. It didn't kill him, but it hurt him badly. He turned to attack Willow. She ran away. As Yagos chased her, Xander dove at his knees and tripped him up. Yagos fell on his face, but tackled Willow on his way down. He grabbed hold of her right ankle and dragged her toward him. But Dawn approached and beheaded Yagos with Willow's ax. He turned to dust.

Buffy and Ascher exchanged blows. It was getting tedious once again. Whenever Buffy tried to stake him, he grabbed the arm which held the stake and threw Buffy to the ground. Every time he tried to bite or choke her or snap her neck, she knocked him away or tossed him on his back. It seemed neither of them was capable of killing the other. But now that Yagos was no more, Buffy had some help. Dawn hurled the ax at Ascher from behind. It landed in him just below his neck. He laughed and knocked Buffy on her back with a left cross and a right uppercut. How was an ax in the back going to hurt him?

Buffy knew how. She vaulted to her feet, leaped over Ascher, did a midair flip and grabbed the ax's handle. When she landed behind Ascher, she was holding the ax. As he turned to face her, she cut through his neck. His head sailed through the air and landed softly on the ground. His body turned to dust, as did his head and crown. Buffy looked disappointed.

"Oh. I wanted to keep that." Her friends looked worried. "Not for the power. It was pretty. Like that Homecoming crown I should have won."

"So is that it?," Xander innocently asked. Buffy Willow and Dawn, all of them bruised and scratched and bleeding, glare at their uninjured friend. "I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to know if their were any more bad guys we had to kill."

"Maybe tomorrow," Buffy answered laconically. She walked back to Xander's truck. The other three followed her. Boyfriends came and went. As long as Buffy had her friends, she'd be all right.

"Buffy, have you put that whole lesbian phase behind you?," Willow asked in jest.

"I have. You were right."

"W-w-wai-wait. L-la-lesbian phase? What lesbian phase?," a very perplexed and curious Xander asked.

"It was nothing," Willow responded.

"Just a joke," Buffy added.

"You had to not be there," Dawn concluded.

"What exactly did Willow mean by 'lesbian phase,'?" Xander wondered.

"Forget it and get in the car," Buffy answered. The three women did this. Willow rode shotgun. Buffy and Dawn were in the back seat. Xander stood in front of the driver's side door.

"I'm your best friend. I believe I have a right to know." Buffy opened her door.

"There's nothing to know. No get in and drive us home before something attacks you. I've done enough killing for one night."

Xander shrugs, gets in and drives off.

"So how was your date?," Buffy asked, changing the subject.

"Really good."

"She's not a demon?," Dawn asked. "Or an ex-demon?"

"Nope," Willow answered. "She's human, and she's nice. Which is a first for Xander." Willow added the "nice" comment to exclude Cordelia.

"And I don't think she even knows about vampires," Xander added. Then he looked worried. "Which might not be a good thing, if she's going to keep meeting me at night in Sunnydale."

"You could always go back to her place," Buffy suggested. Xander was a little stunned. He wanted to take this relationship slow, and hadn't even thought that far ahead.

"Xander stop," Willow called out. He did. She got out. At the side of the road were the two injured demons, limping off to parts unknown. They were too hurt to defend themselves, but Willow didn't care. After all, they tried to kill her. She beheaded the two pitiful creatures with her ax and got back in the truck. The four of them left, victorious and together.

The next morning, Spike, Sterling, Zooey and Elise left. Anya was alone in her shop. Buffy was alone in her house. Willow was off at class. Xander was at work. Dawn was at school. Patrick Gugan was busy in his laboratory. He was not alone.