Chapter 15

Miguel shut the door behind him as Kay stood awkwardly by his desk. Besides the chair in front of his computer on his desk, there was nowhere to sit but on his bed. Kay realized suddenly that they had never before spent time together in this room, and she felt even more uncomfortable. Miguel clearly was too, because he just stood beside her.

Kay, still herself despite the weirdness of the situation, broke the silence first. "Sooo.. did you enjoy the movie tonight?" Oh my God, she thought. Did I just say that?

Miguel, tired of his own games and not willing to put up with any new ones she could come up with said, "Yeah, it was great. But we um. we already talked about the movie, right afterwards. I was kinda hoping we could talk about something else."

Kay found herself impressed with his straightforwardness. Miguel had never been one to beat around the bush, but he was always willing to put off serious things in favor of frivolities "Okay, Miguel, what's on your mind?"

"I don't think it's what's on my mind that matters, Kay, I really want to know what's going on in yours. I mean, what has been going on with you." Miguel paused as she struggled to get the next sentence out. "I. I really need to hear from you exactly why we've been on this break from each other for so long.." He paused again as he realized they were still standing. "For goodness sakes, we used to pile on top of each other playing baseball, I don't think it'll hurt if we share sitting on the bed."

She grinned at him and sat. And immediately sobered as she thought about how to phrase her next words. She knew that it was only fair that she finally explain herself to him. As much as she wished he could figure things out on his own, he wasn't a mind reader. "Miguel.. I uh.. I'vehadthisreallyreallybigcrushonyouforalongtime." She said in one breath.

He grinned at her nervousness. It relieved some of his own tension to see that she was off balance because of the situation too. "So I've heard. But Kay, you should have told me. Hearing it from Reese and sniveling petty women isn't the same as hearing it from you. I had no clue.."

"Miguel, yes you did!" she said, a little louder than she had intended. "I didn't tell you, but you knew, you had to have known. You've spent a long time manipulating me because of it, so whether you knew it consciously or not, all you had to do was think about it, about me."

"Hold on a second, there Kay, how have I ever manipulated you?" Miguel couldn't imagine where all this anger was coming from, or why she'd held it in for so long.

"Remember the night of Charity's birthday party? You just assume I'll follow you places, without even telling me where we're going. And then, when I wanted to stay, you knowingly lied to me about practicing baseball to tear me away from other people who just might have held my attention instead of you." The anger she had felt that night surged in her, and she let it.

Miguel, shocked again at someone else's perception of his behavior, thought back to that night. He vaguely remembered it. There had been so many beautiful women there. He'd dragged Kay along because Reese wouldn't go, and he knew that she'd tag along with him anywhere. but that didn't mean that he'd known about her crush. Uninvited, another memory from that night hit him. He was getting bored of the simpering going on around him, even he got tired of talking about himself, and had looked around for Kay so they could leave. He saw her embroiled in a game of baseball without him and wanted her to leave immediately with him. So he'd made up a little white lie because he'd known that she would leave. he'd known that she would go with him anywhere.. known that she."I knew," he said under his breath.

Kay heard him. Tears started falling as she remembered the old hurt. "You knew," she agreed softly. "You knew and you used it throughout our friendship to get me to do what you wanted, no matter how much false hope you were giving me about your intentions." She stated, her voice stronger now. "And then, when I finally met another friend, Nicholas, you blew up at him in some sort of pseudo jealous rage.."

Miguel grimaced. "Can we not talk about Nicholas, please?" he pleaded. "And besides," he muttered, "itwasn'tpseudoanything."

"Miguel, stop mumbling, what did you say?"

"I said," he replied, resigned to the fact that it was now his turn to come clean, "it wasn't pseudo anything. I was jealous, I just didn't know it at the time."

"Miguel, don't.." Kay began.

"Kay, I'm telling you the truth about this, I was jealous, I didn't like hearing your voice sound sleepy in the background early in the morning and some other guy answering your cell phone. I didn't like thinking you'd replaced me so easily."

Kay softened her voice again. "Miguel, no one will ever replace the friendship we have."

"That's good to know, but it's not what I was talking about. I didn't like thinking that you'd found someone else to have feelings for.. because" he faltered, looked down, and then looked up directly at her. Seeing the drying tears on her cheeks, he reached over and slowly wiped them completely away. "Because.." She leaned into his caress and he slid closer on the bed.

"DAMMIT, tell her already so I can get back to the couch!" Reese yelled through the door.

Kay jumped and cracked her knee against Miguel's. "Ow, shit, Reese, what's the matter with you?!" she yelled. "Can't you see I'm witnessing Miguel "I got game" Lo-Fitz stumble over his words.?" She turned back to Miguel, grinning.

Miguel grinned back. "You know I got game," he winked at her.

"If you've got it, then why don't you kick a little my way," she flirted back.

Miguel turned serious all of a sudden, "I think we've had enough games, Kay. Let's just skip it this time."

"I'm all about skipping game," she replied. Unable to wait any longer, she pulled Miguel into their first kiss, trying to convey all of what she'd felt for him those past years at once, and mentally preparing herself to explain the blue she was sure that they would feel.

And the explanations were never needed, because she never felt the tell- tale blue that was supposed to indicate love. All night, as they both shared with each other physically what had been building emotionally for over a year now, she waited for the blue that never came.