A/N: Thanks to the folks who have picked up this story again after my long hiatus!

Chapter 16

"What's wrong, Kay?" The morning after brought a quiet between the two that they'd never shared before. Miguel sensed that something was bothering Kay, and had been too afraid to ask about it for the better part of an hour, but could no longer hold back his curiosity and concern.

"Hmm?" she asked back vaguely.

Miguel gently rolled her over from their spooned position on his bed so that she faced him. "Kay, something is wrong. Tell me."

Kay looked into Miguel's eyes and smiled. The automatic grin he sent her in return allowed her to push her concerns about not seeing or feeling the telltale blue haze to the back of her mind. "Nothing's wrong, Miguel," she replied. And they both almost believed her.

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"Okay, give," Simone demanded. They were at Haven, enjoying the first chica's night after Kay and Miguel's date to the movies. "You said you wouldn't tell us anything until tonight, and now it's tonight, so give, and no more stalling."

Kay blushed and grinned broadly.

"SEE?!?! Charity, did you see that?!" Simone shrieked. "I told you something was up with her!!!"

"I see, Simone," Charity said with a smile, quite a bit more reserved than her exuberant friend. "She's definitely hiding something. Spill it, Kay."

"Okay, I will, but first I have a question for you, Charity," Kay said.

Outside, Charity gave a small nod of encouragement to Kay, indicating she should go ahead with her question. Inside, she was pretty shaken, although she couldn't say why. She'd been dreading this night all week, which was odd, since she loved chica's night just as much as her two friends. But something about having to hear the details of what was obviously a wonderful time shared between Kay and Miguel made her supremely uncomfortable.

"Are you sure that we feel blue with the one we've in love with? Like, we don't feel it with anyone else?" Kay couldn't bring herself to admit just yet that she hadn't felt it with Miguel, so she asked in a roundabout way.

Charity swallowed the lump that had been growing in her throat. So, Miguel and Kay are in love. Charity knew she should be excited for her friend, but she felt devastated. She now acknowledged that she'd hoped it was a passing thing that Kay would outgrow, leaving Miguel.. she wouldn't finish the thought, it was too much like betraying her cousin. Instead, she responded to Kay's question.

"Yes, Kay. It happens between two people who are in love, and only between two people who are in love." Charity was a bit taken aback by the flash of dejection she saw cross Kay's face. But it was gone quickly, so that she questioned whether she'd really seen it there in the first place.

"Okay, thanks," Kay said lightly.

"KAAAAYYYYEEEEE!" Simone shouted. "I can't take it anymore, enough stalling, tell us everything that happened, and tell us now!!!"

Kay grinned at Simone's impatience, and finally granted her request. She left out the part about not seeing blue, though. That was for her to figure out on her own. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------- Kay and Miguel begin dating on a regular basis, appearing to be the perfect couple. Soon, she realizes that, once the initial novelty of having a friend with ALL the benefits wears off, something is missing, and she can't help but brood about the continuing lack of blue in their lives..

Kay, in one of the many morose moods she'd had since she and Miguel started dating and she'd felt no blue, didn't notice as someone came up behind her as she was walking along the street in front of campus.

"If it isn't Kay Bennett, AWARE queen extraordinaire," said a voice dripping with bitterness said from behind her back.

"Why Nicholas," said Kay, immediately recognizing his voice as she turned around to face him, "How nice of you to recognize when you're in the presence of true awareness. How are you these days?" She asks, dropping the nasty tone and opting for a neutral one. There was no sense in getting riled up about the past, she thought.

"I'm fine and dandy, and yourself?" he asked, then continued without giving her a chance to answer, "I hear you've finally gotten what you've always wanted."

"Oh really?" she equivocated, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "And what might my wildest dream be, according to our resident Kay expert?"

"Miguel. I hear you're with Miguel now," he said, unable to keep the anger he felt out of his voice. "Moved on rather quickly from your supposed love of me, didn't you?"

Kay stepped back from him as quickly as if she had been shoved by a blow from his fist. Hurt, pure and unadulterated, was all over her face. But, she recovered fairly quickly, and this time, made no attempts at neutrality. "Well, it only took me 24 hours to like you, and given your poisonous personality, it was only a matter of hours before I was over it." She instantly regretted her words as she saw a pain mirroring her own reflected briefly on his face.

Nicholas too unleashed all of his anger at her. "That's hilarious. You're calling me poisonous? I'm not the one who thinks near electrocution is a sign of real love. How does your new boyfriend find your floating and electric antics?"

Kay, unthinkingly responded, "See, you have it wrong, Nicholas dear, you are definitely the poisonous one here, since I don't feel anything of the sort with Miguel. No electricity, no floating, nothing, just plain old.." Kay gasped as she realized what she had revealed.

Nicholas paled, remembering..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------- Mom always told us that we'd know our true love by feeling blue

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As the significance of Kay's revelation that she didn't see or feel blue while with Miguel sank in, Kay turned bright red and decided to get out of Nicholas's way as soon as possible.

"If you are finished insulting me, Nicholas, I have to go now." Kay's voice was still a bit shaky.

Nicholas was too shocked about her revelation to respond immediately. If Kay only felt the blue with him and not Miguel..

"Nicholas! Nicholas pay attention; I'm leaving." Kay's voice was a lot firmer now as she grew impatient with his unresponsiveness.

"What? Oh, sorry," Nicholas paused to bring himself out of his reverie. "Okay, bye, Kay," he tossed out absently. He needed to digest this latest development a bit more.

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As Kay hurried away from Nicholas, she failed to hear Simone shouting after her. Finally, she felt someone poke her from behind.

"Hey!" she yelled. "What the hell's the matter with you, Simone?!" she shouted as she turned around. "You scared me!"

Simone grinned. The grin almost outshone the brilliance of her goldenrod yellow camisole and matching Capri pants. With the weather warming up, Simone was expanding her color palette even more. "Kay, I've been yelling after you for a block; I had to run to catch up with you. Can't I even get a proper greeting?"

Kay had the decency to look sheepish. "Ooops. Hello, Simone," she began. "Isn't it lovely outside? How are you on this fine."

"Enough already," a giggling Simone told Kay. "Let's talk about what you just told good ol' Nicky back there."

At least her bluntness kept things interesting, Kay thought. "I assume you heard about my little. um. problem with Miguel."

"Yes, I did and I was just thinking to myself, 'Self,....' that's what I call myself, you know, 'self'...." Simone paused to give Kay time to absorb the fact that this was going to be a long, long conversation. Kay dutifully sat down on a bench they were passing and Simone plunked her stuff down beside Kay, needing to stand so that Kay could get the full effect of this performance. "So I'm saying to myself," she continues, "'Self, I know you overheard Kay tell Nicholas that she didn't feel blue with Miguel, but since that could only mean that Kay and Miguel aren't meant to be, you should just stop being foolish, self, and realize that Kay was only lying to Nicholas to get him off her back because, self, it would be absolutely RIDICULOUS to think that Kay has been lying to you, self, and Charity all this time. Just Ridiculous," Simone finished pointedly glaring at Kay after putting her hands on her hips.

Kay immediately turned red and mumbled, "Don't be so hard on your'self'."

Simone, not amused by Kay's intended pun, said, "You lied to us, didn't you? Kay, of all the..."

"Now wait a minute Simone," Kay interrupted. "I didn't lie to you guys... not exactly," she quickly amended at Simone's look. "You guys were so happy for me, I just didn't want you to be disappointed when you realized that it was just a temporary thing between Miguel and I," she finished lamely.

"Kay, that is the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. And the only thing that's keeping me from really fussing at you is that you seem to believe it." Simone's face took on a calmer, more open look and Kay visibly relaxed. "Kay, Charity and I just want you to be happy, and if being with Miguel isn't going to keep you happy, then that's not what we want for you."

"Why wouldn't being with Miguel keep Kay happy?" Charity asked, walking up. "I thought they were finally together forever and ever," she continued, unable to keep a slight bitter note out of her voice.

Simone looked at her sharply, catching the tinge of sourness in Charity's voice. Kay, for her part, was oblivious to the harsh tone, mired as she was in her own gloominess about the situation. "I don't feel the blue thing with Miguel, Charity, and I never have."

Charity was stunned enough to join Kay on the bench with a flop. "But Kay, I remember, that chica's night, you asked me about the blue to make sure that Miguel was your true love."

Kay realized it was time to fess up completely. "No, Charity, I asked you that question because the flip side of your answer that the blue would only happen with my true love is that if it didn't happen, the person wasn't my true love afterall. Miguel..." she paused, before she said it for the first time, and then continued, her voice constricted by the tears in her throat. "Miguel, isn't my true love. Nicholas is."