Dead or Alive
by Chou

Chapter 2  - Never Drink Whiskey, Part 2

Gill thought carefully about his situation. Simply put, it sucked. The whole bar was filled with gunmen aiming at him, and there were even more outside. He had faced bad odds before though…well, not this bad, but whatever. So as he saw the bartender's finger tighten on the trigger, he got ready to act.

He had one of his twin six shooters in his hand right before the bartender's bullet passed through the air where his head had been. Gill didn't particularly like killing, especially women, even if they were trying to kill him.

"Besides," he thought to himself as he dived behind the bar, taking the surprised bartender to the floor with him, "there's a shortage of pretty bartenders in this world as it is…"

Before she could move, he struck her temple with the butt of his pistol, knocking her out. Above him the bottles behind the bar exploded as hot lead poured into them, showering him with alcohol and broken glass.

"Man, what a waste of good liquor." He muttered, fixing his hat and drawing his other six shooter.

The shooting stopped for a moment, and Gill made his move. Three shots and three men down in the first second as dived from the open end of the bar and stood up. A knocked over table gave him cover to return fire, taking two more down. Bullets ripped chunks out of the table all around him.

"Hey, you guys mind not shooting at me any more?" Gill figured it was worth a shot to just ask. The bar was silent for a moment. Gill waited.

"YES WE DO!" came the unanimous shout of the gunmen as they opened fire with renewed vigor. Gill hung his head and sighed. Well, he had tried. Now he looked for an exit, other than the front door, that is…bingo! An outhouse sign!

Of course, getting there was the problem. Gill took a deep breath, reloaded his six shooters, and ran.

"There he goes! Shoot 'im!" Gill ignored the shouts from the gunmen and the bullets whizzing by his head. He leapt for the door and rolled through it, coming up in a crouch.

Right as the half a dozen men who had been waiting for him aimed for his head.

As a gunslinger, you were either quick or dead. Gill wasn't the dead type.

One of the men managed to get off a shot, grazing Gill's cheek before he shot them all. He raised his finger to his cheek gingerly. They came back wet with blood.

"Ah, damn, that stings!"

Gill stood up and looked around. He was in a large alley, and he could hear footsteps coming from the open end. At the other end, a wooden fence he thought he could jump, with a running start. It wasn't a hard choice. He holstered one of his six shooters and vaulted the fence with his hand, firing behind him at the mouth of the alley, just as the first of the gunmen came in. He tagged one before he landed in a crouch and began running.

"This…" he said between breaths "is one…messed up…town…"


Bonnie Lass awoke with the mother of all headaches. Last thing she remembered, she had missed Gill Bastar from two inches away. She couldn't believe it…and then the pervert had jumped her! She knew she was good looking, but…

Why was she all wet?

Slowly she sat up and looked around. Her bar looked like a war zone. The piano player had remained behind, and looked at her in surprise.

"Bonnie!? Yer alive! We thought Gill had killed you!" She ignored him as she looked over the ruins.

Then she saw all the demolished liquor. She realized the wetness was the precious livelihood of her bar.

You haven't heard rage until you've heard the scream of a bartender who's seen their entire stock shot to pieces. Bonnie was a bounty hunter, true, but she always thought of herself as first and foremost a bartender. It was a point of pride.

And even the devil wets his drawers when confronted with an angry bartender.

"GILLLLL BASTARRRRR! I'LL KILL YOU!" she bellowed, grabbing a shotgun from under the wreckage of her bar and rushing out the door. The piano player peeked out from his hiding place, and sighed. He almost felt sorry for that poor bastard…


Gill Bastar suppressed a shudder. He didn't know what the hell that inhuman yelling was about, but he had caught his name, and figured that whatever it was, he wasn't going to stick around and meet it. Now, if only he could find some place to hide…


Author's Notes:

Honestly, faithful readers, never piss off a bartender. There's a reason why some bars have a sign saying, "Do not ask for credit, for a punch in the mouth often offends."

Oh yeah, this chapter introduces Bonnie Lass, who will be a recurring character throughout and probably after this arc.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, in which stuff gets even worse for our hero!