Thicker Than Water

By Bec

G/C

Archive:  The Graveyard Shift

Disclaimer:  See chapter 1

Chapter 8

            Catherine pushed her way into the office without knocking and securely closed the door behind her.  The department was quiet anyway with everyone out in the field, but she didn't want anyone to overhear this.  Grissom didn't acknowledge her entrance and kept his gaze towards his computer screen.

"Grissom?" she asked, annoyed that he hadn't noticed her.  He continued to ignore her.  "Gil Grissom, will you look at me when I'm talking to you."

            He snapped his head up, surprised that she had raised her voice to him, and watched her over the rims of his glasses.

"What can I do for you, Catherine?" he asked with a calm voice that further fuelled her growing rage.  She took a deep breath before carrying on.

"I've brought you your blood results," she said, trying to emulate his calm as she flung the folder onto the desk in front of him.  He watched its path in shock before returning to look at the woman standing before him.  She knows, and she's mad at me, he thought, his mind trying to calculate all the possibilities.  She wants to know why I didn't tell her.

            "You said it yourself, Gil.  Blood doesn't lie."  She walked to the edge of his desk, placing her hands down and leant towards him.  "How long have you known?"

His head went down.  "Always."  He couldn't lie to her now.

"That girl has grown up not knowing who her father is, wanting desperately to know but has never asked because she didn't think anyone wanted her to.  You have been closer to her than anyone else, Gil.  She idolises you, and you never told her."

"We agreed it was for the best…"

"How would you know what was best for her?"  Catherine's voice was rapidly growing in volume.

"Grace wanted…"

"How could you not tell her that you were her father?"

            A cold silence settled around them.  Grissom just sat staring down at his hands wishing it hadn't happened this way.  In a small way, he had always tried to congratulate himself for keeping the secret so well, but it was just a way to cover the guilt he felt, and it was never enough.  Catherine was his closest friend.  Many nights he had thought about telling her, had come close, but he never did.  And now he had to, and he decided that he was going to do it properly.  He looked up but she had come to kneel beside him, her anger gone once she had seen the sad look on his face.  She reached over to take his hand.

"Please, Gil.  Don't shut me out."

            He looked at her, knowing that if he was going to tell anyone it would be her.  Her expression had softened, and she could see her concern written all over her face.  He gestured over to the couch, and she led him over, never letting go of his hand.  Once they had sat, he turned to face her.

"I've never told anyone.  I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I never found the words."

"Are you going to tell me now?"

He nodded, took a deep breath, and searched for often viewed memories.

            They went to the lake often, a stark contrast to university life.  They both liked the quiet it provided.  It allowed them to talk and think in private.  This time, when Grace had suggested it, Gil was relieved.  She had been strangely subdued the past couple of weeks, and he hoped that the trip would reveal what it was.  As they sat together on the shore, the cool breeze washing over them, he hoped she would talk to him.

"I'm going to buy a house on a lake, Gil," she told him dreamily.  Her first words since they had arrived.

"With a small jetty and a beach," he added.  It was a conversation they had most times they were here.

"Yeah."

            He didn't want to push, or ask outright.  He knew from experience that waiting was the best way.

"I never get tired of this," she added.  He nodded and pulled her closer to him.  He loved her, loved to spend time in close proximity to her.  It calmed him down, allowed him to pull his mind away from his studies.  "What do you want from life?"

"Me?  I want to be in a job I love and to be with the woman I love."

"You put your bugs before me?"

"Well, just a little."  He shouted 'ow' very loudly as she poked her elbow back to his ribs and then laughed.

"What about a family?"

"Maybe.  I don't think I've thought that far ahead."

"Oh," she replied.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

            They sat for a while longer before he felt her take a deep breath.

"Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm pregnant."

            He rearranged them so that he was sitting up beside her, his arms arranged around her waist.  He looked at her, watched her face.  She couldn't decipher his expression at all.

"Gil?" she asked again, this time hoping he would tell her how he felt.

"This is great."  He stopped when he saw that she didn't seem to share the thought.  "Isn't it?"

"What am I going to do with a baby, Gil?  I still have so much time left to finish here, and I can't raise a child too.  I can't go home.  My parents would disown me."

"Whatever happens Grace, I'm not going to leave you to handle this on your own.  I won't.  Whichever way you decide to go, I will support you.  I love you."  He placed a hand down to her stomach.  "And I love this little one here too."

            Grace leant forward and kissed him, grateful that he was here right now.

"How long have you known?"

"Three weeks."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't know how to say it."

"Any way would be fine with me."

"Man, I love you."  She grinned, and pulled him down onto the sand beside her.  She kissed him again, pulling herself to straddle his chest, wanting to stay on the beach forever.

"So the baby was born, Grace moved in with me because her parents wouldn't let her go home.  We named her Margaret, after my mother, and her paternal grandmother.  We finished college, and then Grace decided to go, and she wouldn't let me go with her."

"Why not?"  Catherine had been captivated by his story and these were the first words she had spoken since he started.

"She said she loved me too much to pull me into family life before I'd really experienced life.  She wanted me to go out there and get the career I deserved, the life I deserved without being tied down.  I tried to change her mind, but she left."  He sighed, pulling Catherine closer into the embrace he hadn't remembered starting.  "She told me that it was the best thing if Maggie didn't know who I really was, that she wouldn't grow up straining with a long distance relationship."

"But that's wrong."

"I'd run out of energy to argue.  I didn't want to see them walking out of my life, but no matter what I said, they would have gone anyway."

            "Oh, Gil."  Catherine hugged herself close to him.  "You kept in contact."

"Oh yeah.  I became 'Uncle Gil'."  He sounded slightly bitter.  "I always looked at you and Lindsey as what I couldn't have.  I'd do anything for the two of you, you know?"

"I know.  I'm grateful for you.

"I love you both like my own family."

"Gil, anything I can do for you, I will do it.  Anytime you need me, all you have to do is come to me."

            He sat up and pulled himself away from her in a sudden panic.  "Catherine, what if I never get the chance to tell her.  What if she never knows?"

"You can't think like that.  When it's personal, you have to have hope, even if you feel sick to your stomach, and all you can think of is the worst that can happen."

            He nodded and sat back again, trying to use her optimism to fuel some in him.

"I mean, come on Gil, you are not going to lose this opportunity.  And you are going to take it when it comes."  She paused and looked round to his face.  "Right?"  When the opportunity came, now that she knew, he had to tell her because it was not fair on Maggie.  It was not fair on Grissom either, but after all this time, he could not hide it any longer.

            Without warning, Sara came bursting in through the door, pausing only for a second at the sight in front of her.

"We've found traces of tarmac in the suspects prints and as you know, each company here in Vegas uses a unique composition for their mix.  We've linked it to a specific firm."  She spoke quickly, pushing the words out.  "Nick's checking all of their recent jobs right now so we can draw up a list for Brass to check out."

            Grissom sat up, his eyes never left the messenger.

"How long will it take?"  They could all hear the hope in his voice.

"About twenty minutes.  Brass has all his teams ready for the list."

"Let me know the second we get something," he ordered, knowing that she would anyway.

"Will do."  Sara smiled slightly and left, quietly shutting the door behind her.

            Grissom settled back into Catherine's arms, and began to wait.

TBC…

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