Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. What would happen if I did own Harry Potter? Oh yeah, I remember, IF I OWNED HARRY POTTER! I WOULD BE ROLLING IN MONEY! So, you get the point! ^-^

This story is very...strange but I think you all will like it if you like random and strange stories.

So...some people they go a lot to say before we actually get to read the story like some people write 'Man, I got a shit load of homework tonight, and I got to go to some stupid meeting at school and BLAH-D BLAH-D BLAH-D BLAH!' I bet you don't want to listen to my life now! Well....All I got to tell you is...I'M OUT OF SCHOOL! I GET TO WRITE MORE! NO MORE HOMEWORK...until September when school starts again *sigh*

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Poppy Flowers

Chapter 1: Poppy Flowers (yup same thing as the story title)

Hermione was sitting up in her bed in the girl's dormitory at Hogwarts. It was past 12:10 in the night and she was getting drowsy. But she really could not get to sleep. You see, Paravati would not stop snoring loudly, and Lavender kept mumbling 'I love you Seamus!' 'Kiss me Seamus' and 'Oh Seamus, your sooooo sexy, I looooove you' That just got on Hermiones nerves...a lot.

But what really pissed Hermione off was that two people where getting there groove on in the room next door, the were making loud 'disturbing' noises. She disapproved on how these two people were doing this...kind of stuff in school! That is so foolish and childish!

But whatever Hermione did, she couldn't block the disturbing noises that she was hearing the pictures that came to her mind when she heard them. So, Hermione decided to do a little writing, just for fun to take her mind off what was happening next door.

Hermione got out a piece of parchment and a quill out of her bedside table and wrote:

Snape is similar to Elvis...no wait, he IS Elvis.

Where was Hermione thinking of this idea? She asked herself over and over again, but nothing came to mind, she just kept writing because it was blocking the noises from the room next door.

Snape is like Elvis because they both have greasy black
hair, but
Snape's hair is worse because smells and he puts deodorant
to make
it shine!

Well, the slicked back greasy black hair was true, but maybe not the deodorant or smelly part, but youknow what? Hermione didn't really give a damn at this point, she was trying to get her mind off something, and when she needs to concentrate, she NEEDS to concentrate!

And both shake their asses around because they think their
dead
sexy, OK, well, maybe Elvis WAS sexy...back in the day but
Snape?
He may THINK he's sexy, but guess what? He is drop dead U-G-
L-Y
he ain't got no alibi he's ugly! And I don't care if ain't
is not a word!

Oh well, there went her non-swearing policy. But as she thought, she was willing to do ANYTHING not to listen to those rated R sounds.

But anyway, back to her parchment, she read what she had just wrote. Did Snape ever shake his ass around? Wait- yes, yes he did!

* * * F * L * A * S * H * B * A * C * K * * *
Hermione knocked on Snape's office door. She had a quick question about the essay her class was assigned that day. She waited for the door to open...but it wouldn't so she pounded on it louder and louder each time. But still it wouldn't open. So, she opened the door and let herself in.

Horror filled her eyes as she entered the room and stood in the doorway. There she saw Snape dancing around on his desk clinging onto a teddy bear and shaking his ass around right at Hermione. Snape was also singing 'Like a Virgin' by Madonna. (AN: Hermione's face 0.o, hee hee funny)

Hermione's mouth opened in terror to scream, but no sound escape, she was too shocked to say anything. She quickly turned around walked out and slammed that door trying to forget what she had just saw.

It was a good thing that Snape was too happy and busy and he didn't notice her, if he did, she would be bacon in less then 3 minutes.

* * * E * N * D * F * L * A * S * H * B * A * C * K * * * (AN: Wow, it takes a while to write that part LoL)

And Hermione kept writing, knowing that her statement she wrote was true.

Yup Snape is sooooooo similar to Elvis if you look at those
finer points
I just pointed out. Don't you agree, I think you should
agree. If
you don't agree I think you should die! MWAHAHAHA! Die I
tell
you. Now, I have a problem, two people are getting their
groove on in
the room next door to me, and I don't know what to do! It's
like 1 in
the morning and I'm trying to get to sleep but there
annoying 'sounds'
are bothering me...like a lot.

Ok, this was getting on Hermione's nerves and she decided to write about something else, trying not to remind her about what was happening in the room next door or Snape, so she wrote:

Once upon a time there was a ladybug named Baxter. Baxter
lived on
a poppy flower and he was a ladybug named Baxter. Baxter
enjoyed
lying out on a towel of a naked lady and he lived on a
poppy flower.

What was Hermione saying? Or more like writing.

Baxter lives on a flower, a poppy flower to be exact! And
he likes to
eat tasty cakes and read Steven King novels and he
absolutely hates taking the train to work because he is
allergic to trains, and if he gets
up to 5 feet near a train he'll have a farting attack and
won't stop repeating 'I LOVE OLD LADIES AND I'M A PERVERT!'
And
Baxter also lives on a Poppy flower. Baxter also sells
illegal drugs
to underage ladybugs because he is a messed up ladybug who
lives on
a poppy flower.

Hermione had no clue what she was writing about, but the sound seemed to be getting louder and more...disturbing. She decided to write about something more, not weird.

So once upon a time there lived a little girl who lived
with her
grandma. She wasn't really her grandma, she was actually
her uncle
who got a sex change and had tons and tons of wrinkles.
But she,
or should I say he, insisted that the little girl should
call him, or
her Grandma. The little girl's name was Lindsay and she
lived on a
poppy flower.

Hermione screamed. She was going mad! MAD! MAD! MAD! The noises from the other room suddenly stopped when Hermione screamed. Luckily, Lavender and Paravati didn't wake up, because they could like sleep through a fire, an earthquake, a thunderstorm, a tornado, a landslide, a hurricane, winds up to 400 miles per hour, and a snowstorm

"I'M GOING INSANE! INSANE! I SWEAR! I'LL NEVER BE NORMAL AGAIN! POPPY FLOWER! POPPY FLOWER! POPPY FLOWER!" Hermione shrieked.

"Um...Dave, I think someone in the other room is mad..." Came a girls voice from the room next door.

Hermione crawled to the end of the bed where her teddy bear was and she pulled her wand out of her bed robe. "Oh and here's a daisy!" She said happily handing her wand to the bear and thinking it was a daisy "I would give you a poppy flower BUT I ATE THEM ALL!" Hermione laughed evilly and jumped off her bed.

She walked over to the wall and started to bang her head on it over and over again and then she smashed her head on the wall so many times she got knocked out and fell asleep peacefully until the next morning.

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So, how did you like my story!? My random story! Please review!