I'm sorry my last chappie was so short! I was like...spacing then. Anyways SCHOOL! *sobs* Oh well.

Tokyobabe2040- I agree, cheese is good! But I don't like cheese puffs...or cheetos...or stuff like that for some odd reason, OH WELL! Thanks for reviewing!

'Mione Weasley- CONTINUING WITH THE STORY! MWAHAHAHA!

Wicca Willow- Your welcome! I'm glad you were happy when you read my story! This chapter shall be very very funny! I hope! ^_^

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Chapter 5: A Boy Named Tablecloth

That something Harry and Ron happened to run into was... (DUN DUN DUN)

"BILL GATES?" shrieked Harry in fear as he stared up at Bill who was smiling down at the two boys.

"The muffin man!" giggled Ron stupidly.

Bill Gates smiled suddenly turned into a frown when Ron called him the muffin man and he glared down at Ron and Harry angrily. "For your advice," spat Bill, and for some odd reason he had a lisp. "I am not the muffin man!" He took his index finger and shoved his glasses up the bridge of this nose with it.

Geek.

Ron, for some reason, found that amusing, and he wouldn't stop giggling at Mr. Gates. "Your funny Mr. Tree!" laughed Ron. Bill Gates stared at Ron in pity. Since his own intelligence was very advanced and Ron's was similar to a mushroom.

"So boys! What's your IQ numbers?" asked Bill. Again with the lisp, spitting all over Ron and Harry. Ron tittered but Harry, like a normal person, found it disgusting and revolting. So Harry wiped the drops of saliva off his face quickly.

"Say it, don't spray it dude." Harry said. "And about our IQ's, Ron's is probably a corn flake and mine has to be about a bazillion!" lied Harry. "So, dude, why are you here?"

"I fix computers!" Bill said happily.

LISP!

"That's a funny word!" Ron said grinning. "Compuders!" said Ron making a great attempt to say a muggle word that was too advanced for him. And then randomly, Ron fell onto the floor laughing his head off and rolling around at Harry and Bill's feet.

"Look Dude-" Harry started, but then Bill Gates cut him off.

"WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME DUDE? WHAT DOES DUDE MEAN? AND HOW YOU FEEL IF WHEN YOU WERE IN 8TH GRADE EVERYONE CALLED YOU TABLECLOTH! HMMM?! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?" spat Bill...like literally. Harry stared blinking at Bill as Ron was still laughing and rolling around on the floor. And then Harry saw a puddle of yellow...damn, Ron doesn't know how to control his bladder anymore...Must get help for him.

"Well, Mr. Gates, I don't know much about computers but-" stared Harry, but then Bill interrupted him, again.

"GRRRRR MY COMPANY IS BETTER THEN ANY OTHER COMPUTER COMPANY OUT THERE! SO DON'T BE SAYIN' THAT THIS COOL COMPAN IS BETTER THEN MINE! KAY?! KAY!" Shrieked Bill Gates as he spat all over Harry with his stupid lisp. Harry now realized that Ron had stopped rolling and laughing on the floor, instead he was lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling and whispering 'Rub a Dub Dub three men in a tub'.

"Um, I wasn't going to say anything about computers." Harry said. "Actually, I was wondering if you knew anything about spells and-" But yet again, Mr. Gates interrupted Harry.

"You want to know about spell check?! Spell check is very simple all you have to do is-"

LISP

"NO!" Screamed Harry. "WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME DUDE! MY RED HEADED FRIEND HAS TURNED INTO A MENTAL BLOB OF SKIN AND BONES! DO YOU GET IT?! I NEED A MAGIC SPELL TO HELP HIM TURN BACK TO NORMAL!"

Bill Gates smiled down at Harry and chuckled. "How should I know anything about magic spells?!" asked Bill "I fix computers!" he added graciously.

The anger grew in Harry so much that Harry just slapped Bill. And-

"HOLY SHIT HIS HEAD FELL OFF!" screamed Harry as he watched Bill's head roll down the hallway smiling. "Oh well."

Harry helped Ron up from the ground and started wandering around the halls with Ron following him giggling at random paintings in the hall.

Where could Harry go for help? Madame Pomfrey wouldn't help him because she was too busy 'painting her nails', one of the smartest nerds in the world wouldn't help him, Hermione was in detention, and he dared not to go to Snape. AH HA! He could go to Elijah Wood! He was smart! But no he was probably off driving around in his awesome mini cooper somewhere with about a gazillion girls shoved in that tiny piece of blue metal.

Then it hit him! HE COULD GO TO DUMBLEDORE! YEAH!

So Harry and Ron flew up to the entrance of Dumbledore's office. "WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Ron screamed as he trailed behind Harry. "I'M FLYING! WATCH ME FLY MUMMY! IT'S JUST LIKE MAGIC!"

After Harry guessed the password (Thongs and panties) into Dumbeldore's office, the Gargoyle that guarded the office sprung to life, did the can- can, and moved out of Harry and Ron's way.

"HEADMASTER! HEADMASTER!" Shrieked Harry, then just realizing he was screaming like a girl. "I mean, HEADMASTER! HEADMASTER!" He screamed in a deeper manly voice. Ron giggled at this and skipped into the office.

"Yes, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, I have been waiting for you." Said a raspy old voice from behind a spinning office chair, the man's back faced the two boys.

"You have?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes, I watch you all the time." Said the old voice, it definitely wasn't Dumbeldore's. Harry's nose scrunched up in confusion.

"WHO ARE YOU, YOU STALKER!" Harry screamed in his high pitched girly voice and ran over to the office chair, span it around revealing.....

"JENNIFER LOPEZ!" squawked Ron happily giggling and spinning around in circles.

"No! It's not J Lo Ron, but I must say her J Glow perfume does smell wonderful on me! But it's, it's, THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY!" Harry said loudly.

"DAMNIT!" Screamed the doughboy in his normal voice throwing his chef hat onto the floor and jumping on it! Ron squealed with delight as he poked the doughboy in his belly button, making both Ron and the doughboy giggle insanely.

Harry, who couldn't take on bit of this seized the doughboy by this through and held a random sword from the movie Lord of the Rings to his neck.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DUMBELDORE!" Harry shrieked. The doughboy spat in Harry's face. "THAT'S IT!" screamed Harry louder. "THAT IS THE LAST TIME I GET SPAT IN THE FACE TODAY!" And just before Harry was about to slit the doughboy's head off the office door slam open, and there was standing Hermione.

"HERMIONE!" Harry said happily in relief dropping both the sword and the Pillsbury doughboy. The doughboy ran over to a corner and started mumbling 'NASTY FATS HOBBIT! IT'S RUNIS IT!'

"HURRY, HARRY! RON! SNAPE'S AFTER ME!" Screamed Hermione as she grabbed Ron's hand and flew towards the door but standing there was-

"SNAPE!" screamed Hermione and Harry with fear.

"AND HE HAS AN AXE!" Added Harry in his shrilling girly voice

"Oh I have you three now!" Snape said grinning evilly at the trio. Then he spotted the Pillsbury doughboy and glared at him in anger. "Hand it over boy." He said to the dough figure that was now trying to hide him in a book bigger then he.

"NEVER!" barked the doughboy.

"OR I'LL MAKE YOU LISTEN TO MICHAEL JACKSON!" Snape screamed.

"NO! NOT JACKSON! ANYTHING BUT HIM!" screeched the boy as he threw the chef hat at Snape ran over towards the window, on his way knocking down books and other knick-knacks of Dumledore's and jumped out the open window.

SPLAT! ^-^

"YOU MURDURER!" Hermione screamed running towards the door again but Snape blocked her way. "HE MADE EXCELLENT BUNS!"

"Leaving so soon?" Snape cackled evilly. "I THINK NOT!" Ron found this funny and started laughing insanely.

"YOU GOT THAT FROM A RIDE IN SEA WORLD!" Spat The Pillsbury doughboy as he head popped in the window. Snape glared evilly picked up the axe and pulled out a Michael Jackson record from his robe. The doughboy gave a little shriek of horror and fell from the window again.

SPLAT! Again! ^-^

"Hey lookie!" Ron screamed happily. "It's Justin Timberlake!" he said pointing out the window.

"Where?! I MUST GET HIS AUTOGRAPH! I MEAN! I LOVED HIM EVER SINCE N'SYNC!" Snape said excitingly, dropping his axe, and running to the window, sticking his head out of it. Hermione, who we all know thinks quickly, ran over to him and shoved him out the window and Ron suddenly began to sing. "THE WINDOW! THE WINDOW! WE THREW HIM OUTT HE WINDOW!"

No splat.

"Hey...where's the cream filling?" Asked Ron randomly. Harry peeked his head a little out the window to see what happened to Snape, his cloak had snagged on a tree branch and he was stuck in the tree. Harry chuckled, shut the window and turned around to see Hermione making out with Ron.

"Uh! GROSS!" Harry said girly like. "Like gag me with a spoon! And get a room!"

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What is wrong with Hogwarts?! WHY DO STRANGE PEOPLE KEEP BRAKING IN!? Why is Harry speaking like a girl? AND WHAT WILL SNAPE DO STUCK IN THAT TREE?

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! FUN! Tell me what you want to see in the next chappie in your review and there it will be! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But it will only be in the story if it's worthy enough, and when it comes to me, everything is worthy!