Inspired by K'arthurs parody fic and Al Kristophers comment XD . not to be take seriously. ********************************************************************
The truth about the true runes.. Or WTH is kid smoking
By Crazydreaming

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He dashed into a nearby alley, hoping to loose his pursuers in the twisted maze of the street. The partially lit alley way looked strange under the moonlight. The shadows danced and waver in tune with the nearby flickering streetlight. The sound of footsteps got louder and he instinctively flattened himself against the wall, hidden in the darker part of the alleyway. As the light on the street got brighter, indicating the arrival of his pursuers he became increasing aware of how much noise he is actually making. The thumping of his heart seemed deafening in his ears and the shallow breaths he is taking seemed to echo in the empty alleyway. Bright lights flashed across the alleyway and footsteps rushed by, the shadows of his pursuers, stretched far under the torchlight, moved across the alleyway without stopping. He let out the breath that he didn't know he was holding and moved slowly toward the road to see if things are clear. The sudden voice behind him though made his heart froze in fear.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Arthur. They are still around." The voice was barely audible but it sounded like drumbeats in Arthur's ears.

He quickly spun around, his hand going for the pocketknife in his jacket.

"Who are you?" Arthur demanded frantically in a low voice.

"An old friend." The person in front of him replied. Under the dim light, Arthur could make out a familiar blue hat, blue jacket and blue shorts.

"Kid?" Arthur gasped.

"Yeah, come on." Kid replied, opening up a side door that Arthur was sure wasn't there a moment ago.

They walked into a small room, with simple furnishing. The small wooden table in the middle of the room and the bed to one side are the only furniture in the room. The only source of light in the room is the small candle on the table, which to Arthur's surprise provided ample illumination with it's tiny flame.

"We should be safe here for the moment." Kid finally declared.

"What I want to know is why they are after me! Ever since I received your letter 2 days ago things are just getting from bad to worse." Arthur asked, his voice bordering on hysteria.

"Actually the howling brotherhood is after me." Kid replied solemnly.

"Why?"

"Because I found the truth." Kid replied his eyes taken on a far away look.

"What truth?" Arthur asked, adjust his glasses nervously.

"The truth about the true runes, the secret of the gods themselves." Kid declared, his voice sounding almost majestic.

"That is?"

"That true runes cause homosexual pairings!" Kid shouted triumphantly.

"NO FREAKING WAY." Arthur shouted, his jaw slammed against the table as he collapsed forward onto the table.

"It's true! Look at all the true rune bearers! Tir and Ted, Tir and Gremio. Riou and Jowy! Viktor and Flik!" Kid exclaimed.

".."

"Well?"

"What about Jimba, or Wyatt he had a daughter!" Arthur asked.

"Adopted! Just look at them man they look nothing alike!"

"o.k." Arthur blinked, trying to make sense of the whole thing. "What about Anna? Wyatt loved her."

"Who said Anna was a woman?"

".. right. How about Sierra, both Rean and Nash are both obviously male."

"...Ever wonder why both of them look so feminine?"

"Huh?"

"Vampires you see can have some, how should we put it.. fetishes. I found out that Sierra have quite some credentials in medicine, especially in areas of specific operation."

"Stop right there, I don't want to hear more. how about Milia? she have a daughter."

"Obviously cloned, no way Sharon is from any means of natural procreation."

"Flame champion?"

"He and Sana don't have any children do they?"

"Luc and Sasarai?"

"Holy order, pretty boys, brothers who sympathizes with each other, plus they don't really have any girlfriends, do I need to say more?"

"Geddoe?"

"No girlfriend, pining away at the loss of flame champion."

"Lekknat?"

"Still hot for Windy."

"Luca Blight?"

"Not really a rune bearer there but he was influenced by beast rune.Never shown any interest in girls, plus he is surrounded by good looking MALE generals."

"Lady Chris?"

"Yun."

"Where did you get that from?"

"What? Not as if she's shown any interest in man, even with how many are after her."

"Hikusaak?"

"The man needs to clone himself, what more can be said?"

"Yuber?

"Way too many, you just have to be dead."

".."

"Well?"

"Why are you telling me all these." Arthur asked, exasperated.

"Well." Kid said shyly.

"Huh?" Arthur asked, suddenly feeling chilled to the core.

"Wanna have sex?"