No matter how hard he tried, Dr. Culver could not get the voice on the tape out of his head. How did it get there? That's what was really bothering him. He tried to convince himself several times that he had just imagined it, but he knew better than that. He didn't need - or want for that matter - to double-check it. What he really needed was a second opinion.
"It's a little early for weekly ass-kicking, isn't it?" the man answering the door said.
"Very funny," Dr. Culver responded as he entered.
"It must really burn your hide that someone like me, a lowly landscaper with no education past high school, can consistently beat someone like you at chess, Mr. Ph.D. Where was it you got your degree again, a crackerjack box?"
"All right, James, that's enough. I'm not in the mood today," Dr. Culver said.
"Hey, sorry man, I was just ribbing you a little bit, but obviously you got something on your mind. So, what gives, Ed?" James asked.
"I want your opinion on something," Dr. Culver said and then played the voice on the recorder. "Does that sound like a voice to you?"
"Yeah, it's a little slow, but it definitely sounds like a voice. Let's run it through the four-track and then we can speed it up a lot more with the pitch control," James said and then proceeded to hook the micro-cassette recorder to the old Tascam four-track he had. "I don't have any external speakers hooked up to the four-track so we'll have to take turns listening through headphones. So give me just a minute while I set the pitch. I'll try the fastest speed first."
James turned the pitch control knob all the way to the right, put the headphones on, and then pushed play. He suddenly shot Dr. Culver a bewildered, frightened look. Then he laughed.
"You almost had me, Ed. What did you do, get a four-track yourself or something?"
"No, James. Why?"
"Oh, come on, Ed. We've been friends since the eighth grade. You know you can't pull the wool over my eyes. How'd you do it?"
"I didn't do it, James. I don't even know what it is."
"Look, man, the joke's over." James was starting to look annoyed.
"I didn't do anything, James," Dr. Culver demanded.
"You're not kidding, are you?" Realization suddenly dawned on James's face. "In that case... that is the freakiest thing I have ever heard."
"What do you mean?"
"You know me, Ed. I've recorded everything: blenders, cars, printing machines, you name it, I've recorded it. Then I would mix it all together on as many tracks as I could. You know, trying to create a new form of music using just machines."
"I remember," Dr. Culver said. In fact, it was the reason he selected James to listen to the tape. He figured James had an ear for this sort of thing. "So what's the point?"
"What's the point?" James seemed shocked by the question. "The point is: with all that noise on all those tracks - and you know I loved to mess with the pitch control - I never once heard a distinct voice. Not once! I mean, there were times where, if I listened real close, I could fool myself into thinking I heard a voice, but not really. Not like that!" He looked at the four-track with a mixture of fear and awe.
"It's definitely a voice, then?"
"It's a voice all right. Go ahead, listen for yourself," James said and handed him the headphones.
The voices on the tape were so fast now that they were nothing but squeaks. Dr. Culver couldn't tell where he was at on the tape. He was just about to ask James to cue up for him again when he heard it. How could lights humming and screeching sound so unmistakably like a little girl calling for her mommy? He didn't know but for some reason it scared the shit out of him.
"It's a little early for weekly ass-kicking, isn't it?" the man answering the door said.
"Very funny," Dr. Culver responded as he entered.
"It must really burn your hide that someone like me, a lowly landscaper with no education past high school, can consistently beat someone like you at chess, Mr. Ph.D. Where was it you got your degree again, a crackerjack box?"
"All right, James, that's enough. I'm not in the mood today," Dr. Culver said.
"Hey, sorry man, I was just ribbing you a little bit, but obviously you got something on your mind. So, what gives, Ed?" James asked.
"I want your opinion on something," Dr. Culver said and then played the voice on the recorder. "Does that sound like a voice to you?"
"Yeah, it's a little slow, but it definitely sounds like a voice. Let's run it through the four-track and then we can speed it up a lot more with the pitch control," James said and then proceeded to hook the micro-cassette recorder to the old Tascam four-track he had. "I don't have any external speakers hooked up to the four-track so we'll have to take turns listening through headphones. So give me just a minute while I set the pitch. I'll try the fastest speed first."
James turned the pitch control knob all the way to the right, put the headphones on, and then pushed play. He suddenly shot Dr. Culver a bewildered, frightened look. Then he laughed.
"You almost had me, Ed. What did you do, get a four-track yourself or something?"
"No, James. Why?"
"Oh, come on, Ed. We've been friends since the eighth grade. You know you can't pull the wool over my eyes. How'd you do it?"
"I didn't do it, James. I don't even know what it is."
"Look, man, the joke's over." James was starting to look annoyed.
"I didn't do anything, James," Dr. Culver demanded.
"You're not kidding, are you?" Realization suddenly dawned on James's face. "In that case... that is the freakiest thing I have ever heard."
"What do you mean?"
"You know me, Ed. I've recorded everything: blenders, cars, printing machines, you name it, I've recorded it. Then I would mix it all together on as many tracks as I could. You know, trying to create a new form of music using just machines."
"I remember," Dr. Culver said. In fact, it was the reason he selected James to listen to the tape. He figured James had an ear for this sort of thing. "So what's the point?"
"What's the point?" James seemed shocked by the question. "The point is: with all that noise on all those tracks - and you know I loved to mess with the pitch control - I never once heard a distinct voice. Not once! I mean, there were times where, if I listened real close, I could fool myself into thinking I heard a voice, but not really. Not like that!" He looked at the four-track with a mixture of fear and awe.
"It's definitely a voice, then?"
"It's a voice all right. Go ahead, listen for yourself," James said and handed him the headphones.
The voices on the tape were so fast now that they were nothing but squeaks. Dr. Culver couldn't tell where he was at on the tape. He was just about to ask James to cue up for him again when he heard it. How could lights humming and screeching sound so unmistakably like a little girl calling for her mommy? He didn't know but for some reason it scared the shit out of him.
