Title: I am not! Part 5
Author: Alcandre
Rating: PG
Yeah, here's the 5th chapter. Hope it's okay. I've had a few days like Usagi is in my story, so I'm really depressed right now. Hey, I don't own Sailor Moon! Big shock I know.
Do you know what it feels like to be betrayed? Some of you probably do. Well, that's how I felt right has my friends walked into the room I was in and Mamoru walked out. They started right off with, "You shouldn't have run off like that", "Were you pigging out as usual, Odango?", "You were probably looking at guys again and didn't realize it was raining", and "You should have gone home instead."
Okay, first off, I was hoping they would have asked me if I was alright, if I needed anything or something along those lines, but all they do is rush in just to fuss at me.
I didn't say a thing to them. I just let them wear themselves out telling me what I should and shouldn't do. All I wanted was for them to realize that I loved them with all my heart but that I felt like I wasn't loved in return. Didn't they see that? Couldn't they see that I was hurt, not just physically but emotionally? No, they couldn't tell because I would never dream of telling them. I didn't want to hurt them or worry them. Stupid, isn't it?
"Well, Usagi, don't you have anything to say for yourself?" Rei asked.
I just stared at them. They were around the bed I was in and were all waiting for me to give some sort of lame excuse. But I didn't.
"Yes, I have something to say." I started. "And you've got to promise to hear me out."
I waited for their nods before continuing. "I'm sick and tired of just being laughed at and called names. I know, I know, I put myself up for that. But the only reason I act like a ditz is to see a smile on my friends' faces. I hate seeing my friends sad or upset. So, I make them laugh, if it's at me, then so be it.
"But I would like to be concered about once in a while. I know that sounds really selfish but it's true. I would like a shoulder to cry on when I need it. I only wail like I do around you guys. Then, when I get home, I sob. I know if I really start crying in public, I would be told to shut up and such. How come you guys can be fussed over and worried about, but I can't? To you, I'm just your leader, someone to protect and make sure doesn't get hurt so I can finish the fight. But sometimes a leader needs a hug.
"And I don't get it. I mean, I can't ask for it, can I? I would be laughed at again."
They all looked shocked. Tears are running down my face for the hundredth time that day. But I just brushed them away.
"I think about you guys every single day. I worry about you if I don't see you. What if your hurt, upset, sad, or even just in need of a hug. That's why I hug you guys so much, even if you don't need it. And that's why I act like I do, to make you feel better. "
"Oh, Usagi-" Minako began.
"Please," I whispered. "Just leave."
"Demo-" Ami stated.
"Please, leave."
The girls slowly nodded and walked out of the room.
Rei stopped beside me. "Gomen nasai, Usagi-chan. We didn't know."
"I know, Rei-chan. I didn't tell you. I'll talk to you later."
A few minutes after the girls left, Mamoru walked into the room.
"Usagi, do you want to talked about it?"
I sighed. "I think you already heard enough of it."
He chuckled. "Do you want to be alone?"
I shook my head.
"Do you want a hug?" he asked.
My head shot up and I gasped. "Nani?"
Ha Ha, I left it here because I feel better now that I got my depression out a few hours ago. I had to quit typing in the middle because I had to cry, so I feel better. Yay! Thanks for reading and begging for more! I love you guys!
Alcandre
Author: Alcandre
Rating: PG
Yeah, here's the 5th chapter. Hope it's okay. I've had a few days like Usagi is in my story, so I'm really depressed right now. Hey, I don't own Sailor Moon! Big shock I know.
Do you know what it feels like to be betrayed? Some of you probably do. Well, that's how I felt right has my friends walked into the room I was in and Mamoru walked out. They started right off with, "You shouldn't have run off like that", "Were you pigging out as usual, Odango?", "You were probably looking at guys again and didn't realize it was raining", and "You should have gone home instead."
Okay, first off, I was hoping they would have asked me if I was alright, if I needed anything or something along those lines, but all they do is rush in just to fuss at me.
I didn't say a thing to them. I just let them wear themselves out telling me what I should and shouldn't do. All I wanted was for them to realize that I loved them with all my heart but that I felt like I wasn't loved in return. Didn't they see that? Couldn't they see that I was hurt, not just physically but emotionally? No, they couldn't tell because I would never dream of telling them. I didn't want to hurt them or worry them. Stupid, isn't it?
"Well, Usagi, don't you have anything to say for yourself?" Rei asked.
I just stared at them. They were around the bed I was in and were all waiting for me to give some sort of lame excuse. But I didn't.
"Yes, I have something to say." I started. "And you've got to promise to hear me out."
I waited for their nods before continuing. "I'm sick and tired of just being laughed at and called names. I know, I know, I put myself up for that. But the only reason I act like a ditz is to see a smile on my friends' faces. I hate seeing my friends sad or upset. So, I make them laugh, if it's at me, then so be it.
"But I would like to be concered about once in a while. I know that sounds really selfish but it's true. I would like a shoulder to cry on when I need it. I only wail like I do around you guys. Then, when I get home, I sob. I know if I really start crying in public, I would be told to shut up and such. How come you guys can be fussed over and worried about, but I can't? To you, I'm just your leader, someone to protect and make sure doesn't get hurt so I can finish the fight. But sometimes a leader needs a hug.
"And I don't get it. I mean, I can't ask for it, can I? I would be laughed at again."
They all looked shocked. Tears are running down my face for the hundredth time that day. But I just brushed them away.
"I think about you guys every single day. I worry about you if I don't see you. What if your hurt, upset, sad, or even just in need of a hug. That's why I hug you guys so much, even if you don't need it. And that's why I act like I do, to make you feel better. "
"Oh, Usagi-" Minako began.
"Please," I whispered. "Just leave."
"Demo-" Ami stated.
"Please, leave."
The girls slowly nodded and walked out of the room.
Rei stopped beside me. "Gomen nasai, Usagi-chan. We didn't know."
"I know, Rei-chan. I didn't tell you. I'll talk to you later."
A few minutes after the girls left, Mamoru walked into the room.
"Usagi, do you want to talked about it?"
I sighed. "I think you already heard enough of it."
He chuckled. "Do you want to be alone?"
I shook my head.
"Do you want a hug?" he asked.
My head shot up and I gasped. "Nani?"
Ha Ha, I left it here because I feel better now that I got my depression out a few hours ago. I had to quit typing in the middle because I had to cry, so I feel better. Yay! Thanks for reading and begging for more! I love you guys!
Alcandre
