Disclaimer: I sadly do not own these characters. The credit goes to Chris
Carter and 1013. :(
Spoilers: Within, Without, This Is Not Happening, DeadAlive, and minor ones for Empodocles. I think that's it.
Takes place right after DeadAlive.
**********
The funeral was over and Doggett and Reyes had paid their respects to Scully, who just kept staring into Mulder's grave as if she wished it would just swallow her up with him. They were walking back to their cars when he said, "Monica, you want to come over for awhile?"
"Alright. Are you ok?"
"Yeah. I just got some things on my chest I got to get off."
Monica nodded in understanding and they drove back to his apartment, Monica following John. When they got to his house John opened the door asked if she wanted anything to eat or drink. When she declined, he led the way to the couch.
"What did you want to talk about John?" Monica asked gently, suspecting she already knew what it was but giving him the chance to start. He sat thinking for a moment, trying to put into words what he was feeling.
"You know, when I was first assigned to find Agent Mulder I thought it would be my big break. If I could find the lost black sheep of the FBI it would mean a guaranteed long career in the bureau. Then I met Agent Scully. You could say that she and I didn't get along so well. We still don't get along so well when it comes to these alien things. We disagreed on methods for finding Mulder, but she always seemed to end where the action was. I still didn't trust her, even then. She was hiding something and I wanted to know what it was. But after the incident in the hospital with the boy and the, um, whatever it was..."
"Yes?" prompted Monica gently.
"I went in that room and there was Agent Scully on the floor, broken glass all around her, her face beaten up and bruised and lord knows what else. The boy was standing there looking at this pile of smoking green acid. I didn't see a woman with a secret or a hidden agenda lying on the floor. I saw someone who just wanted to find her best friend, her lover, again. I called for help and then I knelt down and just held her in my arms awkwardly. She was awake and she started crying. She just put her hand over her face in shame at letting her weakness show. I wasn't sure whether she was crying because of the pain of her injuries, or wishing it was Mulder holding her instead of me. I knew at that moment that I would find him, no matter what it took."
John took a breath, paused, and then started again. "When we found Mulder that night, I didn't want to show her. I didn't even want her to know. I didn't want her to have to go through what I did with Luke, to just see his body laying there, pale and cold. It broke my heart to see her try to wake him. I followed her back where we were earlier and I saw her sink to her knees and scream angrily at the sky. The same scream my heart did when I saw Luke."
Doggett looked down at the ground and studied the floor intently. Monica lifted his head up and said, "John, its not your fault that Agent Mulder is dead. Its not your fault that Luke's dead either."
"I know. That's what I'm trying to tell myself, but sometimes I can't help but feel guilty."
"Agent Scully knows its not your fault, she's probably thinking its her fault right now, and you cannot keep blaming yourself for what happened to Luke. That was a long time ago."
Doggett was silent for a while. Then he turned to Monica and said, "I think I need to be alone for a little while."
Monica nodded and stood up. "I understand. Give me a call if you need anything John." He walked her to the door and before she made it to her car he called out, "Thanks Monica."
She turned back to him and smiled sadly, knowing his wounds would take more time than just one night to heal. It had already been four years. "Any time John." She got into her car and drove down the block. John watched her until she turned a corner and her taillights disappeared into the night. He turned to go back inside, but before he was all the way in he caught a glimpse of a shooting star, soaring through the night sky alone on its trek through space and time. I feel for you, he thought at it before shutting the door and turning out the lights.
*********Well? What'dya think? Does this make any sense to you? I've never written anything with Doggett or Reyes in it before so I apologize for anything that's out of character! Thanks to gothic spook for inspiring this story! ~ATX~
Spoilers: Within, Without, This Is Not Happening, DeadAlive, and minor ones for Empodocles. I think that's it.
Takes place right after DeadAlive.
**********
The funeral was over and Doggett and Reyes had paid their respects to Scully, who just kept staring into Mulder's grave as if she wished it would just swallow her up with him. They were walking back to their cars when he said, "Monica, you want to come over for awhile?"
"Alright. Are you ok?"
"Yeah. I just got some things on my chest I got to get off."
Monica nodded in understanding and they drove back to his apartment, Monica following John. When they got to his house John opened the door asked if she wanted anything to eat or drink. When she declined, he led the way to the couch.
"What did you want to talk about John?" Monica asked gently, suspecting she already knew what it was but giving him the chance to start. He sat thinking for a moment, trying to put into words what he was feeling.
"You know, when I was first assigned to find Agent Mulder I thought it would be my big break. If I could find the lost black sheep of the FBI it would mean a guaranteed long career in the bureau. Then I met Agent Scully. You could say that she and I didn't get along so well. We still don't get along so well when it comes to these alien things. We disagreed on methods for finding Mulder, but she always seemed to end where the action was. I still didn't trust her, even then. She was hiding something and I wanted to know what it was. But after the incident in the hospital with the boy and the, um, whatever it was..."
"Yes?" prompted Monica gently.
"I went in that room and there was Agent Scully on the floor, broken glass all around her, her face beaten up and bruised and lord knows what else. The boy was standing there looking at this pile of smoking green acid. I didn't see a woman with a secret or a hidden agenda lying on the floor. I saw someone who just wanted to find her best friend, her lover, again. I called for help and then I knelt down and just held her in my arms awkwardly. She was awake and she started crying. She just put her hand over her face in shame at letting her weakness show. I wasn't sure whether she was crying because of the pain of her injuries, or wishing it was Mulder holding her instead of me. I knew at that moment that I would find him, no matter what it took."
John took a breath, paused, and then started again. "When we found Mulder that night, I didn't want to show her. I didn't even want her to know. I didn't want her to have to go through what I did with Luke, to just see his body laying there, pale and cold. It broke my heart to see her try to wake him. I followed her back where we were earlier and I saw her sink to her knees and scream angrily at the sky. The same scream my heart did when I saw Luke."
Doggett looked down at the ground and studied the floor intently. Monica lifted his head up and said, "John, its not your fault that Agent Mulder is dead. Its not your fault that Luke's dead either."
"I know. That's what I'm trying to tell myself, but sometimes I can't help but feel guilty."
"Agent Scully knows its not your fault, she's probably thinking its her fault right now, and you cannot keep blaming yourself for what happened to Luke. That was a long time ago."
Doggett was silent for a while. Then he turned to Monica and said, "I think I need to be alone for a little while."
Monica nodded and stood up. "I understand. Give me a call if you need anything John." He walked her to the door and before she made it to her car he called out, "Thanks Monica."
She turned back to him and smiled sadly, knowing his wounds would take more time than just one night to heal. It had already been four years. "Any time John." She got into her car and drove down the block. John watched her until she turned a corner and her taillights disappeared into the night. He turned to go back inside, but before he was all the way in he caught a glimpse of a shooting star, soaring through the night sky alone on its trek through space and time. I feel for you, he thought at it before shutting the door and turning out the lights.
*********Well? What'dya think? Does this make any sense to you? I've never written anything with Doggett or Reyes in it before so I apologize for anything that's out of character! Thanks to gothic spook for inspiring this story! ~ATX~
