Hogwarts Middle School
By: Hurmynee
Description: Hamari Thomas wakes up one day to go to her first day of eighth grade. When she gets there, something majorly wierd is going on, and she is the only one who seems to notice. What's wierd, you ask? I dunno, maybe the fact that all her teachers are Hogwarts Professors! How can anybody else not notice this, you ask? Hamari has no clue, but wants to get to the bottom of this very abnormal situation!
Disclaimer: You are one sad being if you think I'm JK Rowling.
Chapter Two: Two Fears Don't Make a Happy Second Period
When we were last here, Hamari had looked down at her schedule and flipped out. And I can tell you why...
Period Two - Algebra I, Mr. Snape
It's all making sense now, isn't it?
Hamari reenacted a twitchy little ferret as she walked to Algebra I. She was deathly scared of Algebra I, and being afraid of the teacher never helps.
However, what she did get there to scared her more.
Substitute Lockheart.
There were pictures everywhere. All of Lockheart. They were still as stone, or at least trying to be. There was the occasional blink or wink or blown kiss towards one of the other pictures.
Hamari sat down, and just opened the book and did a self taught session while waiting for the real Lockheart to come out and ridicule her. Everybody kept shooting her looks. Then, someone sat next to her.
"What was up with you in Homeroom." Toreen said, pulling her book out from her bookbag.
"Have you read Order of the Pheonix yet?" Hamari asked.
"Yes...what does that have to do-"
"What's the Divination teacher's name?"
"You know, you've read the books...what does this have-"
"I can't remember, could you tell me?"
"Yea, it's Maureen Shepard." Toreen sighed.
"No, Toreen, you're thinking of our homeroom teacher from last year!"
Toreen sighed again. "No, our homeroom teacher from last year was Lily Potter, don't you remember?"
Hamari sat shocked for a moment. 'Has Toreen totally lost her mind? Trelawney, not Shepard, Trelawney!' Hamari went to say something, and then Lockheart walked in. Hamari tried to hide herself from him, but something was making him look her way.
Maybe it was the fact that she's been about 2 million plays for school and Lockheart considers that as fame.
I'm using alot of dramatic spacing, aren't I?
Well, you have to live through it.
Lockheart walked up to his desk (which was covered with little pictures of him, of course) and began to speak.
"Hello class. My name is Mr. Lockheart. Though, when my books, I go by Gilderoy, World Famous Underwear Model, Three Time Winner of 'CosmoGIRL!'s Hottest Centerfold', and has won the award The Smartest Underwear Model with a Peabrain eight years straight from 'Feminists With Horomones Magazine'.".
He gives a huge smile, and the same girl who sighed at Albus sighed at Mr. Accomplishments. Hamari just started laughing, to the point she was crying. Toreen finally jabbed her with her elbow, making Hamari stop quickly, and try to make it so she's hidden.
"What was so funny, Miss...?"
"Thomas, and no one else saw the humor?-"(Everybody in the classroom shook their head)"-COME ON! You're proud that you're an underwear model, and that you have a peabrain, and that only teenagers and feminists think your sexy?"
"Why, yes I am, and I still don't know what's so funny!"
"Whatever."
Lockheart continued with the class as if no laughing was emitted. Toreen handed her a note. It read; "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TODAY! BEING AN UNDERWEAR MODEL IS A MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT, ESPECIALLY FOR A MAN! SOMETIMES THEY CAN'T FI-"
At that point she stopped reading. She wrote her own note back; "If you were trying out to be an Algebra Substitute, would you include that you were an underwear model and that you had a peabrain?"
Toreen just glared at her after recieving the note, and just started paying attention to the lesson.
Hamari sat and thought for a few minutes, when she was called on by Lockheart to give an answr to a question.
"Sorry, brain had a blackout, what's the question?"
"What is my favorite brand of underwear to model?"
"Calvin Klein, cause everything fits," she said sarcastically.
"Correct! Here are ten homework points."
Homework points are the school currency; you can use them to buy weekends without homework, but that takes about 75 of the points. Hamari stared in shock, then asked for a bathroom pass when she got a mental image of Lockheart in Calvin Klein undies.
She spent the rest of the class period in the bathroom, trying to figure out why the teachers are book characters, and how many bricks it would take to break the bathroom window so she could escape.
A/N: Whee. For some reason, underwear model had a nice *brrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnng* to it. R&R!
By: Hurmynee
Description: Hamari Thomas wakes up one day to go to her first day of eighth grade. When she gets there, something majorly wierd is going on, and she is the only one who seems to notice. What's wierd, you ask? I dunno, maybe the fact that all her teachers are Hogwarts Professors! How can anybody else not notice this, you ask? Hamari has no clue, but wants to get to the bottom of this very abnormal situation!
Disclaimer: You are one sad being if you think I'm JK Rowling.
Chapter Two: Two Fears Don't Make a Happy Second Period
When we were last here, Hamari had looked down at her schedule and flipped out. And I can tell you why...
Period Two - Algebra I, Mr. Snape
It's all making sense now, isn't it?
Hamari reenacted a twitchy little ferret as she walked to Algebra I. She was deathly scared of Algebra I, and being afraid of the teacher never helps.
However, what she did get there to scared her more.
Substitute Lockheart.
There were pictures everywhere. All of Lockheart. They were still as stone, or at least trying to be. There was the occasional blink or wink or blown kiss towards one of the other pictures.
Hamari sat down, and just opened the book and did a self taught session while waiting for the real Lockheart to come out and ridicule her. Everybody kept shooting her looks. Then, someone sat next to her.
"What was up with you in Homeroom." Toreen said, pulling her book out from her bookbag.
"Have you read Order of the Pheonix yet?" Hamari asked.
"Yes...what does that have to do-"
"What's the Divination teacher's name?"
"You know, you've read the books...what does this have-"
"I can't remember, could you tell me?"
"Yea, it's Maureen Shepard." Toreen sighed.
"No, Toreen, you're thinking of our homeroom teacher from last year!"
Toreen sighed again. "No, our homeroom teacher from last year was Lily Potter, don't you remember?"
Hamari sat shocked for a moment. 'Has Toreen totally lost her mind? Trelawney, not Shepard, Trelawney!' Hamari went to say something, and then Lockheart walked in. Hamari tried to hide herself from him, but something was making him look her way.
Maybe it was the fact that she's been about 2 million plays for school and Lockheart considers that as fame.
I'm using alot of dramatic spacing, aren't I?
Well, you have to live through it.
Lockheart walked up to his desk (which was covered with little pictures of him, of course) and began to speak.
"Hello class. My name is Mr. Lockheart. Though, when my books, I go by Gilderoy, World Famous Underwear Model, Three Time Winner of 'CosmoGIRL!'s Hottest Centerfold', and has won the award The Smartest Underwear Model with a Peabrain eight years straight from 'Feminists With Horomones Magazine'.".
He gives a huge smile, and the same girl who sighed at Albus sighed at Mr. Accomplishments. Hamari just started laughing, to the point she was crying. Toreen finally jabbed her with her elbow, making Hamari stop quickly, and try to make it so she's hidden.
"What was so funny, Miss...?"
"Thomas, and no one else saw the humor?-"(Everybody in the classroom shook their head)"-COME ON! You're proud that you're an underwear model, and that you have a peabrain, and that only teenagers and feminists think your sexy?"
"Why, yes I am, and I still don't know what's so funny!"
"Whatever."
Lockheart continued with the class as if no laughing was emitted. Toreen handed her a note. It read; "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TODAY! BEING AN UNDERWEAR MODEL IS A MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT, ESPECIALLY FOR A MAN! SOMETIMES THEY CAN'T FI-"
At that point she stopped reading. She wrote her own note back; "If you were trying out to be an Algebra Substitute, would you include that you were an underwear model and that you had a peabrain?"
Toreen just glared at her after recieving the note, and just started paying attention to the lesson.
Hamari sat and thought for a few minutes, when she was called on by Lockheart to give an answr to a question.
"Sorry, brain had a blackout, what's the question?"
"What is my favorite brand of underwear to model?"
"Calvin Klein, cause everything fits," she said sarcastically.
"Correct! Here are ten homework points."
Homework points are the school currency; you can use them to buy weekends without homework, but that takes about 75 of the points. Hamari stared in shock, then asked for a bathroom pass when she got a mental image of Lockheart in Calvin Klein undies.
She spent the rest of the class period in the bathroom, trying to figure out why the teachers are book characters, and how many bricks it would take to break the bathroom window so she could escape.
A/N: Whee. For some reason, underwear model had a nice *brrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnng* to it. R&R!
