Daddy Duo

Chapter 5

Woe is Duo

"Duo!"

"Hm."

"Leibhan!"

"Wha..?"

"Wake up!"

"What's wrong!"

Duo shot straight up in bed and looked wildly around. A holdover from the war when waking quickly was sometimes a matter of life and death.

"I can't sleep!" complained Hilde.

"Why not?" yawned Duo, frowning a little. He was now reassured that nothing was seriously wrong and a little irritated at being awakened at.

"Babe, it's 4: 24 a.m.!" he said, rubbing his eyes and looking at the luminescent digital display on the alarm clock.

"I'm hungry!" said Hilde.

"Well, go get sumthin to eat!" Duo said, laying back down and closing his eyes.

"I want chocolate ice cream!" whined Hilde.

"Well go GET some chocolate ice cream," he said irritably.

"But you ate it all after dinner," said Hilde, with a small catch in her voice.

"So, you want me to go get you chocolate ice cream at 3 goddamn thirty in the mornin?" asked Duo in high aggrieved tones.

Hilde began to cry. "I knew you wouldn't do it!" she wailed, getting out of bed and running into the bathroom.

Duo looked at the closed bathroom door and wondered briefly when sane, sensible, practical Hilde had been secretly kidnapped and replaced by this unstable clone.

He got up and pounded on the bathroom door. "Hilde, open the door this instant and let me IN!" he yelled.

"NO!" wailed Hilde.

"I swear I'll kick this damn door in!" yelled Duo.

"Go ahead, you bastard, I don't care!" she yelled back at him. "I hate you, you pig!"

She proceeded to add a few choice words in her native tongue that made reference to Duo's parentage, his manhood and his sexual proclivities.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph swinging from a rope, I'm going back to bed," he yelled through the door. "Rot in there for all I care!"

He stomped back over to the bed and lay down, pulling the comforter back over him and closed his eyes.

He could hear Hilde inside the bathroom sobbing loudly so he rolled over and covered his head with a pillow. He wasn't getting enough oxygen that way, so he jammed the pillow back under his head, panting a little.

He rolled back over, and tried to ignore the sounds coming from the bathroom.

It was impossible. He got up and knocked softly on the door.

"Hilde," he said, raising his voice a little to be heard. "Hilde, don't cry, please come out of there."

"Hilde, I'm going to get my lockpicks if you don't open this door in 5 minutes."

"Hilde, did you hear me?"

"Okay, I'm going to get my."

The bathroom lock clicked and the door opened.

"Fine, I'll come out," said Hilde. She wasn't a very lady-like cryer, Duo noted absently. Her face was puffy and blotchy and her red eyes looked like someone had punched them.

Duo sat down on the edge of the bed and began to pull on his jeans.

"Why are you getting dressed?" asked Hilde.

"I'm going out to get you some goddamned chocolate ice cream," rasped Duo.

"Can you get the kind with marshmallows?" asked Hilde, immediately cheering up. She smiled at him winsomely.

"Fine," he said shortly, pulling on his shoes and then a t-shirt and grabbing his keys and wallet.

"Oh, and get some chocolate syrup to put on top," she said lying back down and pulling up the covers.

Duo gritted his teeth. "Oh, right, sure," he muttered. "How about a pony while I'm at it?" he asked sarcastically, under his breath.

"What did you say, Liebhan?" asked Hilde dreamily.

"Nothing," said Duo, as he left.

Duo got in his car and drove immediately over to Heero's apartment. He ran up the stairs and banged on the door.

After a few minutes, a more messy-haired than usual Heero appeared at the door.

"Do you know it's 4:56 in the morning?" asked Heero, stepping back from the door a little. He had on pajama bottoms and nothing else.

"I didn't come over to find out what time it is!" hissed Duo. "Can I come in?

"I have company," said Heero, looking behind him.

"You're kidding," Duo deadpanned.

"No," said Heero, folding his arms and looking more stiff than usual.

"Saints be praised; Heero's finally getting some," said Duo in amazement.

"Shut up, baka and go home," said Heero.

"Who is that, Heero?" said a feminine voice that Duo recognized immediately.

"It's me, Duo," said Duo loudly. "Hi, Relena, what's up?" he smirked. "Or should I ask that another way?"

Heero grabbed Duo by the front of his T-shirt. "Go home before I throw you down the stairs."

"I keep telling you, dude, anger management classes would do you a world of good," said Duo as he backed down the stairs after Heero let go of his shirt.

"Go!" said Heero, walking toward him. Duo ran down the stairs and got back in his car.

"Geez, try to help some people," he muttered, fiddling around on the radio for a good rock and roll station.

He went to an all night grocery and bought chocolate ice cream (the kind with the marshmallows) and chocolate syrup. Just for good measure, he bought some whipped cream and a jar of maraschino cherries.

He drove home. It was now a little after 6:00. He put the ice cream and other things he'd bought away in the fridge and went upstairs.

"Hey, babe, I got the chocolate ice cream," he said loudly, opening the door and kicking off his shoes.

"Babe?" he said, peering at the lump under the comforter.

He walked over. Hilde was soundly asleep.

"I guess you can have the chocolate ice cream later," he said, sitting down on the bed and slipping off his clothes.

He curled up next to Hilde and draped his arm over her. She stirred and instinctively inched closer to him.

"I'm glad tomorrow is Saturday," he said, yawning and closing his eyes.