Really Really Bad Eggs

Anne Parkington

·Review Replies·

Elf-Vulcan: Heee, I love legolas bunches so I decided, hey. . . the more Orlando the better right? Right!

LilSleepingDevil: Oh dear! I didn't mean to cause you pain, luv. . . yeah but I know what you mean, my friends and I had a Johnny depp marathon party at my house and we watched 12 straight hours of depp movies. . . from like 7 at night to like 7 in the morning! My eyes felt like they were melting into my brain but boy was it worrrrrrrrrth it!!!

Nicole297: YES! YES YES YES! School is evil! But I'm happy to be back! My teachers are cool, and im a big scary sophomore now!! All hail meeeee!!!!!!!!

Alaura Fairfield: YOU my friend are the jerk!! And im not a looser just cuz I have school, just unfortunate. . . yes! Harry potter must dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Heehee jk! OMg! Some girl keeps saying that in bio! She keeps saying 'just jk-ing mr p!' and im like. . wow. Too much iming for THAT girl. . .

AppleJuiceMaker: Great idea luv, in fact, I think I'm going to steal it and use it in this fan fic. . . but it's yours of course. . .i'll state that after! ;-)

LAST TIME ON REALLY REALLY BAD EGGS:

"Harry Potter! The boy who lived!" Norrington smirked and raised his eyebrow again.

"Not anymore." He said, and grabbed the gun off his belt and shot him off the ship. Governor Swann stared.

.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.

"Your first names are Governor and Commodore?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. . . do you have a problem with that? What's YOUR name?" Norrington asked.

"Legolas Greenleaf." He said, bowing slightly.

.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.

"Oh yes you do!! The exact same, only his hair is different. . . and he's more, piratey!"

.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.

"Legolas!" The girls screamed.

.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.

"I love you. . . " Jack said. "no, I lied. I don't." He stuck out his tongue at him and kicked him in the shin.

.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.

"TOO FREAKY!! They're all the saaaaaammmeeee!!" Lizz said, falling down and having a seizure.

.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.

"NO you're all like me!!" Bootstrap said.

Woah! This is just great!! But before we go on to our next chapter. . . here is a word from our sponsor (Applejuicemaker)

Will: ::eating cereal, sigh:: I am so bored of the same old cereal every day. I need a change!

Jack: ::walks into the room::

Will: AHH! Jack! What are you doing here?!

Jack: I've come to save the cereal day! Eat this!! ::shows box with jack's grinning face and giving the thumbs up::

Will: What kind of cereal is it?

Jack: Cereal.

Will: Yeah. . . but what's in it?

Jack: CEREAL!! DUH! Now eat it or I'll blast your head off!

Will: ::starts to eat quickly::

Fangirls: ::run on:: mm mmm jack! ::dances around:: By Jack- o's and leave the driving to us!

Jack: Wa?

The end

And NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. . . THE CONCLUSION OF REALLY REALLY BAD EGGS.

Song to listen to whilst reading this chapter- love that girl from the cry baby soundtrack. Don't know why. . . I just love that song, specially cuz Johnny Depp sang it in the movie and I love 50s music. . . and its random, and random kicks ass.

Chapter 5 (the queen of America)

While the Orlandos fought, everyone else started to wonder what was going to become of them. . . would God really bring them back to life again? Hey. . that kind of rhymes. Kate was really starting to worry. She had promised her mom she'd be home for dinner. She looked over at God and did her best puppy eyes, which really ended up looking like a lopsided frog.

"AHH!" God said seeing the hideous look on her face. "I mean. . aww. Whats the matter my child?"

"Are we going to be dead forever?" Kate asked.

"Well, I only let them go back last time because their deaths would have altered history. It would have been catastrophic!"

"But what about ours! Isn't our death going to have come chaotic effect on the world?!" Kate cried.

"Uhh. . . " God trailed. Kate's face dropped.

"You've got to be kidding me! No effect at all!?" Melissa asked, turning away from the Orlandos.

"I'm sorry. . . " God started.

"PLEASE?!!!" Lizz Amanda, Melissa and Kate cried flinging themselves at God's legs and holding on tightly. God looked down exasperatedly at them and sighed.

"FINE! I'll let you go back, but only on one condition."

"anything!" the girls chorused.

"I send Jack, Elizabeth and Will back and you all have to be scullery maids on the pearl."

The orlandos suddenly stopped arguing and looked at them. Jack beamed and Elizabeth looked on them with sympathy.

"Scullary maids?! As in. . . servents?! For JACK?" Lizz said.

"sex slaves, sex slaves, sex slaves!" Meliss and Kate chanted under their breath. Jack smirked to himself not letting them know he'd over heard.

God ran a hand over his head and groaned.

"I was hopiong to be free of paper work for a while. . . but no matter, give me about an hour and I'll get everything sorted out for you guys."

"THANKS GOD!!" Jack called as God walked back to his office.

"HA! They think they can make me into a scuallary maid, but they CANT!" Amanda said pumping her fist in the air.

"What do you mean?" Jack said, dodging her fist.

"Well, I'm the Queen of Amercia remember?" Amanda explained. "And the Queen of America is no one's slave. It's just not done, man!" Jack raised his eyebrow, making every girl in the whole wide world sigh.

"I don't think God's going to care, luv." Jack said. Amanda shrugged.

"OH well, I've got an hour to kill, might as well make some use out of it." Amanda said and linked arms with Legolas and leading him out of heaven.

"Where are THEY going?" Jack asked.

"Oh, I think you know." Lizz said looking over at Elizabeth who was looking from Will to Bootstrap with a horribly torn look on her face.

"Will, you know I love you more than anything in this world right? And I'd do anything for you. .. but you're soooo uptight!"

Will scowled at her.

"And Bill. . " Elizabeth laughed huskily, making Will's eyebrows disappear under his hair.

"You're exciting, and adventurous, and a PIRATE!!"

Kate, Lizz, and Melissa sighed. Jack suppressed a laugh.

"But. . . I'm a pirate TOO!!" Will cried.

"And you're a really really really good kisser!!"

Bill smirked.

"HEY!" Will protested.

"And you're probably excellent in bed, just like Jack." She turned and winked at the captain. Bill shrugged in modesty and Jack beamed.

"Wait. . . JACK?!" Will cried looking like he was about to die.

"And since will's SOOOO uptight, I doubt he'd be able to live up to a REAL pirate in bed."

"I'm standing right here you know." Will said angrily. Elizabeth looked at him and smiled.

"I know darling!" She said obliviously.

"Dude. . . "Kate said slinging her arm over Elizabeth's shoulders. "If you hook up with Bill. . . Will will be your step son."

Everyone's face broke out into a disgusted sneer.

"Dear lord. . . "Mumbled Norrington under his breath.

"Okay, okay! I choose Will, but you've got to work on how uptight you are, alright."

"Anything for you, Elizabeth." Will said, dragging her to him and kissing her with as much passion as he possessed, running his hands up and down her back. She dug her fingers through his hair, clearly enjoying the change.

Norrington's face burned with jealousy and as he looked away Governor patted him on the back.

"We'll find you some other girl." He said. They looked over at Kate, who noticed their gaze and hooked arms with Marty and marched off. They then looked at Melissa who hooked arms with Jack and dragged him off in the same direction. They THEN looked at LIzz, who gave a loud EEP!! And grabbed bootstrap's arm and pulled him away too. Norrington sighed, looked at Governor and started to cry.

About a half hour later, Jack, Melissa, Marty, Kate, Bill and Lizz had situated themselves behind some bushes and were playing 'egyptian rat screw'. Suddenly Amanda and Legolas returned, covered in mud.

"Where were you?!" Lizz asked in surprise. Amanda and Legolas smirked.

"To the forest." Legolas said, wiping mud out of his hair and eyes.

"And did WHAT?!" Meliss asked, claiming a card sandwich.

"Wrestled." Amanda said spitting some mud out.

"Naked." Kate finished, looking up at them. The two blushed, making the group howl with laughter.

"AMANDA!!" Lizz scolded playfully. Amanda rubber her neck embarrassedly and she and legolas ran off.

"To shower together no doubt." Jack said cheekily.

"I got it all done. You all can go home except Bill and Marty!" God said walking up to them.

"What?!" Marty and Bill said in outrage. "That is not fair!!"

"Life isn't fair, boys! Get used to it!" The others stood up and followed God towards the main area. Amanda and Legolas caught up all sparkly clean again. (Heaven magic!*) God lined them all up, waved his amrs around and transported them, alive again, to the Black Pearl.

Two days later.

Kate scrubbed the deck of the pearl with a brush, sweat dripping off her nose in the Caribbean heat.

"Missed a spot, luv." Jack said smirking. Kate narrowed her eyes and threw the brush at him hitting him in the head.

"HEY! That wasn't nice! No supper for ye!" He turned on his heel and walked off. Melissa walked by, carrying a pair of freshly polished boots.

"These look good to you?" She asked. Kate looked.

"Yes ma'am." Kate nodded. Melissa walked on towards Jack. Lizz walked by with a sack of potatoes, followed by Amanda.

"Kate, do you think he'll be happy with these?" She opened her sack to reveal that it was full of potato mush.

"What did you do to them?" Kate asked.

"I used my way cool kick ass queen-of-america sword to peel them. Didn't word did it."

"No. . just give it up, you'll never really claim your thrown as Queen of America."

"Shut up Kate, you don't KNOW!"

"I guess not."

"I better get these potatoes to Jack. . . " Amanda said slinging the bag over her shoulder and continued on her way. Kate looked out at the horizon and smiled. Although she was condemned to a life of scullery, the Caribbean sure was beautiful.

"Dun nun u nun u nun u. . ", Jack sang and everyone stood next to her.

"And really (really) bad eggs." They all sang

Drink up me hearties yo ho!

-end-