Daddy Duo

Chapter 18

"I bet you fifty bucks you faint," said Duo to Wufei, who was sitting across from him stuffing his face full of potato salad.

"This is not appropriate conversation for lunch time," said Wufei, who had put down his fork and was giving Duo a bilious look.

"I can't believe you're married to a doctor," said Duo.

"Sally has the courtesy not to bring up the subject of childbirth at the table," said Wufei, taking a long drink of water.

They were sitting in the gazebo at Trowa and Quatre's home. This time, the occasion was the finalization of the adoption of Tristan Daniel Barton- Winner.

"Babies are gross," said Duo, "get used to it."

"Gross," repeated Solo, who was sitting in between Duo and Hilde.

"Thank you for adding another interesting word to our son's vocabulary," said Hilde.

At two years old, Solo had a positively angelic look about him, which was totally misleading. He was, to put it in Duo's words, "destruction on two legs".

"Babies are NOT gross," said Quatre, who was jiggling Tristan to keep him quiet.

"They're noisy, gross and incontinent," insisted Duo. "The cuteness is so we put up with it until they become civilized human beings."

"Did you hear what your daddy said about you?" said Quatre to Solo, who was trying to see if he could put macaroni salad into other orifices besides his mouth.

Duo grabbed his hand before he put a piece up his nose.

"Daddy's mean," said Solo, pouting. "Solo wanna get down."

"Wait until we're finished eating," said Hilde.

"Okay," said Solo, but he was still pouting.

"You want to see the baby?" asked Quatre, walking around to that side of the table. He'd already eaten and was taking his turn holding Tristan, who had decided that today was a good day to cut his first tooth. Since he started to scream when he was put down, everyone was taking turns walking him around the table.

Quatre sat down on a chair he pulled up with one hand and held Tristan up to Solo, who proceeded to try to poke him in the face with his spoon.

Hilde grabbed his hand away. "No," she said firmly. "Don't poke the baby with your spoon."

"Baby's hungry," insisted Solo. "Baby's crying," he said.

"No, Solo, he's not hungry, his teeth hurt," said Quatre.

Solo put his finger into Tristan's mouth.

"No teeth," he said sadly. "Poor baby."

"Don't put your finger in Tristan's mouth!" said Hilde, trying to grab Solo's hand away again.

But Tristan had a death grip on Solo's finger and was happily chewing on it. He had blond wisps of hair sticking up all over and dark blue-green eyes, which at the moment were fixed on Solo.

"It's okay, Hilde," said Quatre.

"We quit worrying about what he put in his mouth after he ate a piece of cat food off the kitchen floor at my sister's house," he said.

"Tristy biting me," giggled Solo, watching the six month old chew on his finger.

"That's the happiest he's been all day," said Trowa wearily.

"What's good for teething?" he asked Sally, who had her feet up on a small wicker hassock and was rubbing her stomach absently.

"Ear plugs," said Sally dryly.

Trowa gave her a faint grin.

"Remind me to get some," he said to Quatre.

"How many weeks until you're due?" asked Hilde to Sally.

"Four weeks," she said. "One more miserable month."

Hilde winced sympathetically. "I remember."

"Please, no horror stories," said Sally. "Why is it when you're pregnant that every woman in creation has to come up to you and tell her about her 36 hour labor?"

"War stories," said Hilde shortly.

"What?" said Duo.

"Childbirth stories are the female equivalent of war stories," said Hilde.

"You know, your chance to brag about how brave you were in the face of blood and pain."

"Oh," said Duo. "I get it."

"No you don't, but that's all right," said Hilde.

"I hate it when women act like men can never understand the big mystery of being a woman," said Duo, frowning at her.

"You can't" said Sally and Hilde together. They both laughed.

"Weren't Heero and Relena supposed to be here?" asked Wufei, changing the subject.

"Yes, but they called and said they'd be late," said Trowa. "Last minute emergency meeting of some sort."

"I still can't believe they left all those people waiting in the church and eloped," said Hilde, smiling broadly.

"You know Heero, he hates crowds," said Wufei. "I knew he wouldn't go through with that big wedding."

"I was gonna be the best man," sighed Duo. "I got gypped."

"I can't believe he talked Relena into it," said Sally. "You know how uber- responsible she is."

"Heero is pretty persuasive when he wants to be," said Wufei.

"Yeah, I wonder what headlock he used on her?" commented Duo, earning him a light slap on the back of the head by Hilde.

"Shh," said Hilde, "here they are!"

"One nasty crack and you'll be sleeping on the couch," warned Hilde in his ear.

"Yes, Hilde, love of my life," he said, standing up to greet Heero and Relena.

Trowa stood up as did Wufei. There was something about Relena that demanded a more old-fashioned sort of courtesy.

Heero was holding her arm as they walked up the step to the gazebo.

"Hello everyone!" Relena said. "I'm so sorry we're late."

"Glad you could come anyway," said Quatre.

"I'd rather be here than in some stuffy meeting anyway," said Relena.

"Please, sit down," said Quatre. "With the kids here, we're being very informal."

"How are you, Solo?" said Relena, going over and holding out her hand to the little boy.

Solo gazed up. "Pretty lady!" he said, and took her hand and solemnly shook it.

Relena laughed. "He understands flattery already," she said to Duo. "He looks just like you."

"Unfortunately, he acts just like me too,' said Duo, grinning.

"How's it hangin, Heero?" he asked, making Hilde choke as she sipped her glass of lemonade.

"Duo!" she hissed.

"Same as always," replied Heero, levelly, pulling out a chair for Relena, then sitting down himself.

"Whoops," said Duo. "Well, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight," he said in a remorseful voice.

Everyone laughed, except Heero, who merely turned up the corners of his mouth and shook his head.

"Your mouth will be the death of you yet, baka," he said to Duo.

"Baka!" said Solo, happily, clapping his hands.

"Great!" moaned Duo, putting his hand over Solo's mouth. "Now he's calling me that!"

"Daddy!" protested Solo, pulling Duo's hand from over his mouth.

"Let Solo go," he said. "I want down," he said to Hilde.

"Okay," she said, helping him down from his seat. "You've sat long enough, but don't go far."

"Okay, Mommy," said Solo.

Solo walked over to Sally, "Baby?" he said, reaching up to pat her stomach.

She smiled at him, "Yes, she's still in there."

"Come out, baby," said Solo, putting his head against Sally's stomach.

She laughed. "From your mouth to God's ear, as they say," she said.

"Do you have a name picked out yet?" asked Relena, as she finished chewing a bite of food.

"No, we're still arguing about that," said Sally.

Wufei glanced at her. "I had a boy's name picked out until we found out she is a girl," he said.

"That's what you get for thinking you're going to get your own way about everything," said Sally.

"You're not disappointed that it's a girl?" asked Hilde. "Come on Wufei, be honest!"

"NO, I am not disappointed and I wish people would quit asking me that!" he said, raising his voice slightly.

"He's not disappointed, just surprised," said Sally. "I don't know why he assumed it would be boy."

"Because there hadn't been any girls born in my family in 3 generations," said Wufei. "So, I just assumed."

"Well, you get the honor of being the first in 3 generations," said Sally, cutting him off.

"Yes, my dear," he said, "and I hope she is as lovely and sweet-natured as you are."

"Well, Wu-chan won't be sleeping on the couch," said Duo.

"That's because I know when to say the right thing," said Wufei quietly.

"Come help me up, Dragon," said Sally. "I'm beginning to meld to this chair."

"Dragon?" said Duo, smirking at Wufei.

Wufei glared at him. "It's a damn site better than being called 'baka'."

"Damn," said Solo, grinning widely and looking around to make sure everyone heard.

"Wufei!" said Sally. "Did you hear what this child just repeated that came from your mouth?"

"Like he hasn't heard that before living with him," he said, pointing at Duo.

He got up and went to help Sally rise from her chair.

"Actually, he already knows that word," said Hilde, "so don't worry." She gave Duo a look. "And some worse ones."

"Well, what do you expect a guy to say when he drops a wrench on his foot?" asked Duo. "Oh, fiddlesticks?"

"Yes," said Hilde. "When there are young children around."

"We're going for a little walk," said Sally.

"There are roses over by the south wall," said Quatre. "You should go see them."

"We will," said Sally, waving as she walked off with Wufei holding her arm.

"You feeling all right?" asked Wufei as they walked off down the cobbled path.

"Fine, I just was tired of sitting there," she said. "Any one position for too long seems to get uncomfortable."

"There are the roses," said Wufei.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" asked Sally. "I know they're not your favorite flower," she added.

"Funny, I don't think much about Treize anymore," said Wufei. "It seems like someone else's life and a long time ago."

"In a way, it is," said Sally. "We have such different lives now."

"That's it," said Wufei, suddenly. "What?" asked Sally. "What are you talking about?"

"The name," he said. "What do you think of Mei*?" he asked. (*mei gui or just mei is Chinese for rose)

Sally thought for a second. "I like it," she said finally.

She looked down at her stomach. "What do you think?" she asked facetiously, "How about 'Mei''?

The baby chose at that moment to give Sally an obvious kick, which caused her to gasp a little and put her hand to her belly.

"What's wrong?" asked Wufei anxiously, hearing her gasp.

"Nothing," she said reassuringly. "I think Mei likes her name."

"Or she hates it," said Wufei. "Maybe that was a protest kick."

"She's outvoted," said Sally. "She'll have to learn she can't have her own way about everything too."

"You can so," said Wufei, bending over and putting his mouth near Sally's belly. "You just have to yell and threaten people enough."

"I need to go find a bathroom," sighed Sally.

"It'll be over soon," said Wufei.

"I hope so," said Sally.

"I'm tired of being a baby punching bag," she sighed.

"I've been teaching her katas while you sleep," said Wufei.

"I believe it," said Sally.

"I really don't mind the baby is a girl," he said.

"I know," said Sally. "I'm a girl and you like me," she said archly.

"Yes, I like you an awful lot," he said.

"Sometimes, you even love me," she said, smiling.

"All the time," he said as they walked along.