CHAPTER THREE: Cameos galore!
Don't you love cameos? ^^
Tellah: Spoony authoress.
*smites Tellah* Quiet you!
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything you will find in this chapter. Most of the cameos belong to someone else or are real people.
Law-ninja: *stalk chibilinnet*
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"So... what talents do you have, Brenda?"
Seymour was busy interviewing useless pawns for the Official Bad Guy league. Bad guys need useless pawns.
"The little one bites." A girl with dark brown hair answered, pointing to a little boy next to her wearing a small trenchcoat. He glared at her with dark eyes hidden behind curtains of greasy hair...
"Hey, wait a minute, I know you!" Seymour laughed, reading the description above him. "You're Severus Snape, right? You're...short..."
"CHIBI!" Snape insisted. He bared small fangs. "I'm CHIBI!"
"I know. ISN'T HE CUTE??" Brenda cried, picking Chibi-Snape up and hugging him. Chibi-Snape started screaming and tried to claw his way out of her arms.
Seymour blinked.
"Well, see, we normally don't accept short people... Snape needs to un-chibify himself." Seymour reminded her, looking over the conditions that needed to be met.
"But Marcy from Chrono Cross was short, and she kicked ass!" Snape protested, still being smothered in fangirlish love. Brenda nodded in agreement.
"I don't think you understand. You. Are. Too. Short." Seymour said slowly, sneering at the Potions Master. Snape just growled more, furiously trying to escape his companions grip.
Brenda sneered and let him go.
Chibi-Snape lunged forward and sank his fangs in Seymour's arm. Seymour screamed and ran around the office room for about five minutes with an irate Snape gnawing on his arm, blood spurting everywhere.
Brenda took out her Zidane plushie and hugged it, happily ignoring all the screaming and chaos going around. Then she frowned when she realized Snape got more lines than her.
"Oooh, chibi is gonna get it!"
"IT HURTS!! OH GOD, IT HURTS!!" Seymour cried, shaking his arm in a vain attempt to dislodge Snape from his arm.
"I give her a chance to see my artwork, I RP with her, I put up with her constant ignorance and she doesn't even mention the vast magical properties of my Zidane plushie!" Brenda continued ranting, her hair getting splattered in blood.
"AUUGGHHH!! THEY WERE RIGHT, DAMMIT, HE IS A VAMPIRE!" Seymour was still running around screaming, covering the room with blood. Snape was still gnawing happily on his arm.
"I hope everyone hates her for putting so many cameos in one chapter that they won't review or leave flames! Then she will never write again, AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Brenda cackled. The magic Zidane plushie hopped on her shoulder and cackled with her.
"I'M SORRY!! I'M SORRY I SAID YOU WERE TOO SHORT, BUT THAT'S THE RULES!!" Seymour pleaded. Snape heard this and gingerly lifted his fangs out, dropping to the floor. Despite the fact that everything in the room was dripping in blood, Snape was perfectly clean.
He bared his bloodstained fangs in a cute smile. The author squealed.
"Well, why didn't you just say so?" Brenda laughed. "C'mon, Snapey, before JK Rowling sues us."
With a mighty WHOOSH, the two characters ran out of the room and were never seen again. Well, actually, they had to run to the Movie Studio. Damn Harry Potter movies _...
Seymour was left on the floor, his arm half chewed off and shaking all over.
"I hate my life." He moaned.
~~~
Getting away from all the OCs and cameos that no one cares about, we're back to the heroes, who are still walking away from that city and going somewhere else.
"Sora, where are we going? I'm hungry..." Goofy complained, rubbing his stomach. Donald twitched and resisted the urge to shove his staff down Goofy's throat.
"We're going... SOMEWHERE!" Sora proclaimed. "Over the raaaiinnn-OW!"
Riku whacked Sora on the head with Ansem's Keyblade, eye twitching badly.
"Do not sing anything in front of me." He hissed and handed Ansem back his Keyblade. Ansem squealed with joy and started hugging it. Ansem was very fond of his Keyblade.
Sora pouted and resumed walking in that weird manner he does, putting his own Keyblade in his hair. What, where else could he keep the damn thing??
They were walking again.
"NOT AGAIN!" Sora screamed in agony, falling over and assuming a fetal position, sucking his thumb. Donald laughed and kicked him. Sora ignored it, since getting hit by a giant flipper wasn't much.
"Shouldn't we help him?" Ansem timidly suggested.
"Nah, him writhing around in pain will be the single joy in our otherwise miserable and pathetic life..." Riku sighed. Ansem was slightly disturbed.
Fifteen minutes later, Sora had recovered and, lo and behold, another city loomed before them. It was obviously different, because the sign next to it said, "A city completely different from the one you were in."
"WE'RE SAVED!" Sora cried in joy, and he ran in, followed by the gang. Ansem stopped just before going in and wrote "chibilinnet sucks" on the sign before running away again.
A young girl with a black robe and blue-framed glasses jumped out from a bush next to the sign and inspected the words Ansem had scribbled.
"Hmm, I think I knew a Linnet..." Sarafina mused, and then she happily went on her way. Why she was in the bush, nobody ever knew. All they knew is that just she was just a cheap cameo and nothing more.
"LINNET!!"
~~~
chibilinnet nervously looked around.
"Whatcha doing, Lin?" Rufus.exe asked her.
"FROM NOW ON, YOU SHALL REFER TO ME AS BOB!" chibilinnet barked. She donned a red bandana, a Linkin Park shirt and baggy cargo pants. Satisfied, she strode out the door.
"Hey, where are you going?" Rufus.exe called.
"I'm getting a sex-change operation!"
~~~
The city that the gang had entered in was actually the wonderful metropolis of Zanarkand, from FFX. The gang stared in awe at the machina, people with weird costumes, and the vast amounts of water.
Then Donald and Goofy tripped and fell into the sea below, where they drowned. The author cackled and was glad she didn't have to let them exist.
"That was mean!:" Sora complained. A meteor sped down from the side and hit some old guy, making him explode. "That was mean too!"
Riku had to hide from the randomness.
"I'm still hungry." Ansem complained. He poked Riku in the rib repeatedly until Riku snapped and hurled himself over the bridge. Well, no, actually, he didn't, because of the author did that, Riku fans would kill her.
Speaking of which, a small group of people wearing all black and holding pitchforks, torches and a sign that read 'KILL CHIBILINNET' passed by them, mumbling curses under their breath.
"Must be a cult or something." Sora commented. Ansem stopped poking Riku and searched for a place where food could be stolen/obtained. His golden eyes fell on a simple looking shop with a dusty sign that read "PIES".
"It looks cheap!" Riku said, excited. Just like his father, he was extremely stingy about his money. Of course, the grand total of their munny combined was 130, so he had a reason.
"I dunno, that shop looks shady..." Sora's eyes narrowed and he glared at the shop. Eminem jumped in and started singing 'I'm Shady" for no good reason.
"C'mon, I'm starving..." Riku complained, taking out a shotgun and shooting Eminem ("I ain't got shot, bitch!"). He wondered where he got a shotgun and decided to keep it. Shotguns are cool.
"But... SHADY!" Sora insisted.
"HUNGRY!" Riku retorted.
"SHADY!"
"HUNGRY!"
Ansem ignored the ignoring teens, muttering 'fools' and he stood in front of the shop window, peering through the dusty glass. He couldn't see much, in fact, it didn't even look like it was open.
"Guys, I don't think..."
The shop door suddenly burst open, releasing millions of dust particles that aimed at Ansem's unsuspecting lungs. The boy was reduced to a coughing fit and this went on for many minutes while the dust particles laughed. Evil dust particles.
"WELCOME TO BECCI'S HOUSE OF PIE!" Becci greeted them. The author doesn't know what Becci really looks like, so you can use your IMAGINATION! *gets shot* OK, who keeps on doing that?? _O
"Good. How cheap are your pies??" Riku got to the point. Becci ignored them and ushered the teens in, Ansem still coughing.
"Look at our fine selection of pies!!" Becci insisted, pointing to the many pies. Apple pie, cherry pie, cyanide pie...
"CYANIDE PIE!" Kefka squealed. He grabbed it, and ran away. Riku pretended he didn't see it and looked over to Ansem, who fainted from the mass coughing fit. Sora was busy complaining about seeing a cockroach in one of the pies.
"I don't think this is sanitary. I wanna see the Health Inspector's approval on this shop! ARE YOU PEOPLE LISTENING TO ME??" Sora ranted, tossing the pie back on the table. A rat popped out from it and squeaked sadly, mumbling something about how Lord Voldemort abandoned him.
"DO NOT SAY HIS NAME!" Someone yelled.
"Of course my pies are perfectly safe. I only pick the freshest ingredients!" Becci snapped.
"But you live in a city... with no soil or sunlight..." Ansem contradicted her, somehow regaining consciousness and a Vanilla Coke. VANILLA COKE MAFIA!
"..."
Riku took advantage of the awkward silence to shove a few pies in his bag. He didn't notice the ominous darkness filling the room. He didn't notice Becci's eyes glowing an intense red. He didn't notice Tellah moseying around the backroom bumping into objects and calling them spoony.
"You spoony bard!" He screamed.
"I SAID MY INGREDIENTS ARE PERFECT." Becci hissed, her voice taking on an evil tone. The building shook and a tile fell from the ceiling and smacked Tellah.
Sora, Riku and Ansem blinked.
Then they ran away screaming.
"Oh, the customers ran away..." Becci whined. Then she clasped her hands together and grinned evilly. "BUT I SHALL DRAG THEM BACK! EVERYONE WILL BUY A PIE FROM BECCI!"
"HEY, SHUT UP!" Someone across the street yelled.
~~~
"Sora!"
Kairi growled as Selphie played her "gothic" music (and by that, she means Linkin Park) loudly. The Gummi Ship practically shook with the force of the music and Kairi could feel her hearing slipping away...
"SORA!!" She screamed, trying to get Selphie's attention.
Selphie was too busy grooving to listen.
"SORA!"
"WHAT?"
"SOOORRAAAA!!"
"SPEAK UP!"
"SORA!" Kairi lunged at Selphie brandishing a butterknife. Unfortunately, they were heading toward a meteor and no one was there to steer.
The ship smashed into the meteor...
...But since the Omega had so much Armor on, it did hardly anything.
And Kairi was free to attempt to stab/slash Selphie with a butter knife.
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Bwahahaha. Kairi and Selphie will crash somewhere else next chapter. _.
BAD CHIBI! *smacks self* I find myself wanting to write Harry Potter fanfiction instead of Kingdom Hearts fanfiction (About Snapey, of course, chibi likes 'em tall, dark and handsome XD)
Oh yeah... SHAMLESS ADVERTISING!! WHOOT! *gets shot*
Have you ever wanted to smite people who hate Vanilla Coke? And join a mafia? Well, the Vanilla Coke Mafia is for you! Scoot over to chibi's bio and click the link. CLICKY CLICKY!
*gets shot multiple times* OK, I'll update soon to apologize for the shameless advertising _O…YAY GRAMMAR CHECK!
