WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES
by Phil D. Hernández
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ACT TWO
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Gabrielle woke the next morning with a resounding headache. She sat up and immediately regretted it; the pain was worse. Squinting from the light filtering into the stable through the gaps between boards, she put a hand to her head, encountering a bandage she didn't remember anyone putting on her. Xena was already awake. Seeing Gabrielle attempt to rise, the Warrior Princess quickly put a hand on Gabrielle's shoulder to stop her.
Easy now, Gabrielle. We thought we were going to lose you.
What happened? Is Joxer
Sleeping in, Xena told her, Joxer's snore punctuating the remark. The gods know he'd do it every morning if I let him, but he earned it this time. Until I made him go to sleep, he was worrying himself sick about you. He was upset that he let Rat Stew hit you with that mace.
Hit me? Gabrielle asked, bewildered. She looked at Joxer, and saw no head wound. His clothes were different: he was dressed in the same nice tunic and vest he wore the day Aphrodite had cast a heroism spell on him. Rat Stew hit Joxer. I helped you bandage him. Why did you take the bandage off?
Gabrielle, you're in worse shape than I realized. A blow to the head can do that.
Xena, nobody hit me in the head!
Don't argue with me. I have to wake Joxer up, doctor you and find whatever Patter is looking for before he comes back and tears up this village. She left Gabrielle and rummaged in her traveling bag. Okay, Joxer, rise and shine, Xena announced in a louder voice.
Joxer winced, opened his eyes and immediately shut them again. Slowly he rose to a sitting position. I'll rise, but I refuse to shine, he declared.
Hey, that's my line! Gabrielle protested.
Give it a rest, Gabrielle. Xena placed a bronze mirror in front of Gabrielle's face. The latter's eyes grew wide with astonishment when she saw the bandage around her head, a large spot of dried blood just in front of the left temple. Gingerly touching the spot, Gabrielle flinched from the pain.
But how
How is Gabrielle doing? Joxer asked Xena.
Not so good, the Warrior Princess replied. Her memory is affected. I hope she hasn't suffered any brain damage.
In her case, maybe that would be an improvement, Joxer muttered.
What was that? Xena barked.
I said, She's awake; that should be an improvement.'
Watch yourself. This is no time for snide remarks.
Joxer apologized. And I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday, Gabrielle. You were only trying to protect me, I know, and I'm grateful, but you just don't have the fighting skills. You're lucky you weren't killed. A couple of inches to the side and you would have been killed.
Gabrielle grew angry. I don't have the fighting skills? Where's my staff? I'll show you fighting skills, Joxer!
Xena had to push Gabrielle back down before she tried to stand up. The Warrior Princess attempted to soothe her friend, but instead of pouring oil on troubled water, the oil struck an open flame. He's right, Xena said. We know you're brave, but you don't know how to fight. Just because you call yourself Gabrielle the Amazon' doesn't mean you are one.
What do you mean, I'm not an Amazon? I'm the Queen of the Amazons! She tried to rise again but was too weak to resist Xena's restraining hand.
She's getting worse, Xena said to Joxer in an aside. Gabrielle, you've never even seen an Amazon. All you know about them you got from Joxer's scrolls. That tears it. After we settle Patter's hash, we're taking you back to Poteidaia. What was the name of that boy who's so sweet on you?
Joxer interjected. I know the wedding got put off again after He fought back a surge of emotion.
Xena put a hand on Joxer's shoulder. It's okay, Joxer.
Now Gabrielle became hysterical. But I did marry Perdicas! You were both there! Then Callisto murdered him! You couldn't stop her! She wept bitter tears.
Callisto hasn't been anywhere near Poteidaia that I know of since I met Joxer. And if you're married to Perdicas, why did you leave him? I think I'd better look at your head again. I should clean the wound, at least.
Gabrielle gritted her teeth in frustration but submitted to Xena's ministrations. In trembling fingers she held the mirror and watched as best she could without getting in Xena's way.
This is going to hurt, the Warrior Princess advised. Despite the warning, there was less pain than Gabrielle expected. Xena removed the bandage and the herbal compress, matted with clotted blood, underneath. Taking a clean sponge, she washed out the wound with wine, then water. Joxer, get another compress ready.
I'm on it, he said. If I scrounge up some broth, do you think Gabrielle can keep it down?
We'll find out. Xena probed around the wound with skilled fingers. In the mirror, Gabrielle caught glimpses of a nasty gash surrounded by the ugly discoloration of swollen bruises. Dark blood oozed into the wound and was sponged out again. Though Gabrielle was filled with an unhappy mixture of curiosity and anxiety, she kept quiet while Xena accepted a fresh compress from Joxer, then applied it to the gash and wrapped a fresh bandage around the younger woman's head. To keep Gabrielle's long hair out of the way, the Warrior Princess pulled it back tightly and let it hang down in a ponytail.
Well, that's a first for you, Xena observed. Usually they can hear you screaming in the next village when you get a paper cut. I didn't feel any tiny skull fractures, so maybe you're just disoriented. The diagnosis satisfied Joxer, who nodded, buckled a rapier to his swordbelt and left in search of the promised broth.
Gabrielle ventured.
I don't remember getting hurt. Did Patter attack us while we were sleeping?
No, you've been out cold since yesterday afternoon. I'm not surprised you don't remember. Joxer was holding off Patter's boys at the storehouse. Rat Stew came in from the side. You must have thought Joxer was in danger, because you tried to block Rat Stew's mace. Before you even got your staff up, he hit you very hard. Joxer thought you were dead, but I got to you in time. I should be angry with you for not listening to me when I told you not to get too close to Joxer, but I'm just happy you're alive.
Gabrielle could only stare at Xena in shock.
You're head's harder than I imagined. Joxer would probably say that's no surprise. Xena was joking, but Gabrielle wasn't smiling. It was the kind of remark Gabrielle would make to Xena about Joxer.
I think I'm going to be sick, Gabrielle said. Which way to the latrine?
I'll help you up, Xena offered, and carefully raised her friend to her feet, then handed Gabrielle her staff to lean on.
Gabrielle felt unusually weak. The wound was serious, she knew, and the succession of shocks she had just received did not help. Waving off further assistance, she entered the latrine, completed her necessary business and cleaned herself. Her legs didn't appear as strong as she remembered them, and when she squeezed her arm muscles with her fingers, they feltflabby? Trembling with horror, she examined her body carefully, almost too frightened to verify her growing suspicion. After taking a deep breath, she checked one last place – and stifled a scream.
Gabrielle, what's wrong now? Xena called.
Xena, this can't be happening!
As though she had never consummated her marriage to Perdicas, Gabrielle was a virgin.
*****
I'm not going crazy, and I can feed myself, Joxer! Gabrielle insisted. This has to be a bad dream, that's all.
Joxer put down the spoon he was using to feed broth to Gabrielle and tweaked her nose. she cried, and tried to return the favor, but he caught her wrist. Somehow he was stronger than she was, and faster, too.
Did you feel that? he asked.
Yes! Of course I did!
Then you're not dreaming.
Why are you two treating me like this? Gabrielle demanded.
Like what? Did you want us to let you die? Joxer retorted.
No, not that, likelike I'm you.
Gabrielle, I know that when Xena and I aren't around you like to pretend that you did all the things Xena did and that Draco's your love slave and all, but you're not Xena and you're not me. Gabrielle recognized the tone in Joxer's voice. It was the one she used when she was talking to him as one would talk to a small child. Maybe that knock on the head has you so mixed up that you think all those made-up things are true.
Joxer, I am not pretending! Yesterday you were almost killed. Today I'm the one with the head wound! It doesn't make sense!
Maybe Xena's right. We should take you back to Poteidaia. After all, your mother and father need you. They took it pretty hard when He blinked and steeled himself for his next words: when Lila died.
Lila is dead? She is my sister! Are you so in love with following Xena and me around that you can't think of anything else? When were you going to get around to telling me she was dead? Damn you, Joxer! She beat at Joxer with her fists, but he caught her wrists in his hands. Gabrielle subsided when she saw that he was crying too, and not because of her outburst.
You really don't remember, do you? He slowly lowered her arms and released her. It was the day after your sister married me. You were her maid of honor. It was hard to leave Xena, but Lila and I were going back to Poteidaia to help you and your parents with the farm. You were so happy for her, and excited because you'd decided to marry Perdicas after alland then Palaemon camehe murdered Lila in cold blood Joxer reached for a bag of scrolls. Here. Look these over. Maybe these will help you remember.
Gabrielle threw her arms around Joxer and wept uncontrollably. Xena returned from the latrine and took in the situation with one eyebrow raised. What happened? she asked.
Most of Gabrielle's memories are gone, or changed. Lila, for instance. He stroked his friend's strawberry blonde hair. It'll be all right, he assured the girl. It'll be all right.
Xena let them cry for a space, then bent over, a sorrowful look on her face, and placed a gentle hand on each one's shoulder. Joxer, talk to the villagers again. See if I missed anything about this token of the gods Patter's looking for. I'm going to scout his camp. Gabrielle, I know you want to help, but you'll be better off waiting here. You might forget where you are and hurt yourself even worse. Rest and recovery is what you need right now. Okay?
Because Xena was not speaking in a condescending manner, Gabrielle nodded her agreement. Ow. You're right. No sudden movements. I'll just read myuh, these scrolls for a while.
Atta girl, Xena replied. We'll check in on you soon.
*****
Gabrielle decided that she would tackle the scrolls on a full stomach. She looked in her shoulder bag, but all the food she could find was a few carrots and radishes – and some goose eggs, carefully wrapped to keep them from breaking. There were no scrolls, no ink and no quills, but all manner of junk among her personal items.
This looks like the kind of stuff Joxer would carry. Why is it in my bag? Gnawing on a carrot between sips, she polished off the broth.
Though she was beginning to get an idea of what the scrolls might contain, Gabrielle could not put off reading them any longer. It couldn't be any worse than what I've already seen and heard. Maybe I'll find out why the gods are playing games with me.
Reaching for a familiar-looking scroll, she took it out of the bag and unrolled it. Sure enough, it was Sins of the Past, butin Joxer's handwriting? And the words appeared strange to her, even though the beginning of the story, at least, was almost exactly what she remembered. That was some blow to the head. I'm having trouble reading, just likeJoxer! Have I switched places with him somehow?
That thought cushioned the next blow. According to Joxer's version, he was a traveling bard, not much more than an apprentice, when he wandered into Poteidaia the day Xena arrived. To save the village from Draco's men, Lila offered herself up as a sacrifice. Gabrielle received only a brief mention as Lila's blonde-haired sister. Joxer followed Xena to Amphipolis and talked her former neighbors out of stoning her
Frantically, Gabrielle snatched up scroll after scroll. She was missing from the early stories, but Joxer – who shouldn't have been there – was present. The stories were mostly what she remembered, and when she allowed for the fact that Joxer had substituted himself for her, she saw that he had not inflated his role.
There were changes here and there, all fitting the same pattern. Joxer was a man, so he couldn't be an Amazon. Terreis had given her right of caste to Ephiny and named Joxer a friend of the Amazons before she died. Joxer was a man, so he couldn't be the bride of Morpheus. Manus had thrust an innocent girl into his maze, but Joxer snuck in to keep her from killing anyone – or being killed – until Xena could arrive. Joxer was a man, and one who did not prefer other men to women, so he could not have a doomed love affair with Talus on the way to the castle of King Sisyphus. Instead, he met a girl named Talia and fell in love with her – then Celesta took her.
Spotting another well-worn roller, she checked this scroll, and when she read the first words, she finally understood: I sing the song of Lila, the girl I knew, the woman I love.
Joxer couldn't have made this up. He's never met Lila. Somehow, he and I have switched places. But why? Ares isn't getting anything out of this. The scrolls bore it out. Ares hadn't done anything differently. Aphrodite? No, she had made Gabrielle heroic in For Her the Bell Tolls, and naturally Prince Sarpedon had been all over this skewed version of the bard, except that here Gabrielle was no bard. Joxer had demonstrated that by recording her Ballad of Gabrielle the Amazon. By the gods, that's worse than his Ballad of Joxer the Mighty!
Setting that one aside, she examined as many of the scrolls as she could for clues. The task was hampered by Gabrielle's sudden difficulty with the words, even having to sound them out on occasion. Her headache did not help much, nor did the strange variations in the stories. Palaemon, a young man Gabrielle had barely met, had taken Callisto's place as the insane warrior bent on revenge. As Joxer had said, Palaemon murdered Lila. The Gabrielle in the scrolls told Xena that if anything happened to Joxer she would avenge him, even if it meant sacrificing her own life. Indeed, she had attacked Palaemon and taken an arrow in the shoulder for Joxer, just as Gabrielle remembered Joxer doing for her.
Gabrielle recalled Xena telling her about how the Fates had given her a chance to live in a world where she had not become the Warrior Princess. Because Xena had not rescued Poteidaia, Gabrielle was a slave in that world. Gabrielle did not remember any of it, of course; for her those events had never occurred. Xena respected the Fates, and despite the Warrior Princess' own belief that people made their own destinies the respect appeared to be mutual. Besides, Gabrielle seemed to be the one who was being punished, and she could not think of anything that she had done to offend the Fates.
I have to find out what happened to me, how I got into this strange body, this strange world. Packing up the scrolls, she looked at herself in the mirror again. She was pale, but not from loss of blood – she was pale like the Joxer she knew, almost pasty. There were dark, almost baggy, patches under her eyes like the Joxer she knew. That was another sign that Gabrielle was in a different world: here Joxer was healthy, tanned and fit, but she was not. The face staring back at her was otherwise hers, at least, lacking the goofy, clueless expression Joxer – my Joxer, she amended – usually had. On the other hand, there was still so much of the innocent about her, as with Joxer, that Xena might not notice the difference. Xena often ignored Joxer completely, and so did Gabrielle. Will Xena ignore me?
*****
When Joxer returned to the stables, Gabrielle has a light meal ready. He readily accepted her apology for going into his possessions to obtain the food and utensils she needed. Glad to see you feeling better, but you shouldn't exert yourself, he said. He sniffed at the food suspiciously. You didn't add that gravy recipe of yours, did you?
No, I didn't, Gabrielle replied. She had found a skin full of it among her gear, recognized it for what it was and dumped it in the latrine.
He took a tentative bite, then a broad smile spread across his face and he ate with gusto. When did you learn this? he asked.
I've always been a good cook, Gabrielle said.
So you say, but I've only touched your cooking when it's been a choice between yours and Xena's. He paused. I'm sorry, Gabrielle. I didn't mean to get snotty. This really is good. Thank you.
You're welcome. Did you learn anything from the villagers?
They told me the same story Xena heard.
What about the storehouse?
If sacks of grain were magical, the village could create another Olympus. They do have some money, a few heirloom weapons and pieces of jewelry, nothing fancy. We got back everything Patter's men tried to carry off except a few loose coins and trinkets that got scattered during the fight. I think it's all a wild goose chase.
Maybe not. Something happened to me, Joxer.
he agreed. You almost got killed.
I didn't mean that. You see –
Xena entered, smiling a knowing, self-satisfied smile that did not reach her eyes. Patter's good, she reported, interrupting Gabrielle. Sentries all over. I heard what I needed to hear, though. He's going to try again after he gets men into place to surround the village. If we have to defend everywhere at once, he might try a quick strike on the storehouse with a small party. Any luck, Joxer?
Either they don't know or they're not telling, he said. I couldn't find it.
Xena – Gabrielle began.
Not now, Gabrielle. Joxer, we're running out of time. The villagers have some defenses ready, but we need more: barricades, pits, falling rocks, that sort of thing.
Xena –
Not now, Gabrielle! Xena turned her attention back to Joxer. My guess is that Rat Stew will lead a showy attack to sucker me. I'll fight him just long enough to make them think their plan is working, then you'll have to hold them while I catch Patter at the treasury.
We should stick together, Joxer complained.
Don't worry, you can handle it.
Xena, will you listen to me? Gabrielle insisted.
All right, Gabrielle, what is it? Xena asked, plainly annoyed.
Let me help cover Joxer. I'm not the Gabrielle you think I am. I can prove it. She picked up her staff and stood on wobbly feet. Watch this.
Gabrielle attempted to twirl her staff in a series of moves Ephiny had taught her, but she wasn't able to find the balance and only managed to strike herself on the forehead. OW! Wait, let me get this
The Warrior Princess grabbed her by the front of her shirt and pulled her close. Xena was angry now, sparks seeming to fly from her steel-blue eyes. Gabrielle, I don't have time for this. You're wounded and your mind is playing tricks on you. Either you stay in this stable like a good girl, or I tie you up and you stay here anyway. Which will it be?
I can't abandon you now! Gabrielle protested. Maybe I'm crazy, but if I'm telling the truth then I need your help to fix things or I will go crazy. She had a sudden inspiration. Would you do this to Joxer?
That brought Xena up short. She released Gabrielle.
No, of course not. But you're not Joxer. You'll only get yourself killed. I won't let that happen. Stay here.
How about this? pleaded Gabrielle. I go to the storehouse and warn you if anyone sneaks up on the place. Call it insurance.
Unexpected support came from Joxer. I hate to admit it, Xena, but Gabrielle is making sense to me, he said. Something's different about her since she got hurt. Give her a chance.
All right, Xena conceded. But take it easy, sit down if you feel dizzy and don't try to fight anyone, she directed Gabrielle. At the first sign of trouble, call for help. I'll hear you.
*****
With cautious strokes, Gabrielle maneuvered her staff in the empty air, discovering that she could not do this and keep a close watch simultaneously. This used to be second nature! I know what to do, butmaybe my body doesn't. That was it, of course, a lack of muscle memory. Gabrielle was stuck in a pale, weak, untrained body, while somewhere else her real body probably had the other Gabrielle in it. Poor Xena. Having one Joxer around is bad enough, but two? She'll have to tie them both up.
Yet Gabrielle wondered if she wasn't being unkind to Joxer and this unknown self she had read about. There were moments when Joxer was serious, after all. When he wasn't full of himself he was a good companion, and he seemed to enjoy listening to her. He certainly didn't seem to tire of her stories about Xena the way Xena herself did. He did his share of work when they camped, and she had to concede that he tried his best in tough situations like this one.
Reflecting on when they first met, Gabrielle knew that at the time she wasn't much more skilled in combat than Joxer was. She had been eager when she met Xena, almost too eager, and Joxer was the same. Maybe if she gave him a chance, tried to teach him as Xena had taught her
THEY'RE COMING! Gabrielle heard someone shout, and it was all she could do not to run toward the sound. Xena's plan was a good one, and if she could buy her best friend a few precious seconds, she would. Moments later, she heard Xena's war cry above the shrieking of frightened villagers, the clash of swords and the crash of armed men setting off traps. Several people ran to and fro before the modest building that served as the village storehouse, and Gabrielle gripped her staff harder. More men approached, and at first Gabrielle was apprehensive, but she relaxed when she saw that they were also villagers.
Or were they? The boots were all wrong, and were those robes hastily thrown on to coverarmor? As Gabrielle turned to shout a warning, a large, rough hand clamped over her mouth. She struggled, fluttering like a bird caught in a snare.
Nice try, little girl, Patter sneered in Gabrielle's ear. Empty the place! he barked at the men disguised as villagers. Then he turned back to Gabrielle, stifling her muffled screams by pressing a knife to her throat. You're so scrawny I should throw you back, but you'll do for a bargaining chip. Yes, you'll do nicely indeed. And if you give me any troublesome of my men don't care what a girl looks like, so long as she's a girl, if you get my drift.
Gabrielle shuddered. She got his drift.
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END OF ACT TWO
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is © 2002 by Philip D. Hernández and is his sole property along with the story idea. The characters of Patter and Rat Stew are his own creations. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.
