Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien's characters or locations.
A/N: Thanks again to those who reviewed for encouraging me!! This fiction has developed into something a lot bigger than what I originally had in mind, and that is mostly due to my readers!!
~ 3. Choice ~
I slept eventually, my mind and body no longer able to sustain the tension. Worrying before going to sleep would soon become second nature to me for fear of not waking up again.
I had come to the realization that I wasn't prepared to give up on my life, such as it was, just yet. Sometime during the night, Tamara had extracted a promise out of me: to fight and do whatever it took to find my way back. I indulged her, albeit reluctantly, realizing I dared not wish against it. I seriously doubted there was a way back, as she put it. Yet I couldn't just give up, lie down and wait to die, even if that was a very real possibility. It went against everything I used to be. Used to be…. The mere thought tightened my chest with rage.
As I had expected, Tamara was gone in the morning when I woke, and I was left to find my own way in the world where I now belonged.
My bedroom had a bathroom attached to it, I soon discovered. A bath was ready and steaming just as I got out of bed. Clearly someone had watched over me and upon waking up had drawn my bath for me. I did not know who had prepared all this but I felt slightly uncomfortable, spied on. Yet I could not imagine anyone with harmful intent in mind. Maybe they kept vigil on me in case I died suddenly. Curiously, the thought did not terrify me as much as it had last night.
The bath was infinitely more relaxing than any other I could remember. There was a lot of strain to wind down too. The fragrant water had a mixture of oils and crystals that relaxed my muscles and calmed my mind. Fresh flowers were sprinkled in the carved stone tub, their scent subtle yet fresh and soothing. I lay there for a long time, thinking about my predicament. Finally, tears came and I wept bitterly, desperately yet inexplicably liberated. I suspected there would be many more tears to follow until…..
Face it, I told myself…until you die or some miracle happens.
Or at least until I found more answers. And I certainly wasn't going to find any sitting here. I needed to haul myself out of what was quickly turning into comfortable self-pity and start interacting with as many people as I possibly could. Networking, creating contacts was the life-blood of my chosen profession. It would help me survive here too.
I found fresh clothes laid out for me as I went out into the bedroom and once I was dressed, Elriniel, the tall elf-lady who had waited on me the previous evening, entered the room carrying a small basket of hair-brushes and other hair accessories. Since my hair hung just below my shoulders and was quite unruly, she made two braids on each side of my face and joined them behind my back where she worked for awhile without me being aware of what she was doing. There were no mirrors anywhere so I had to trust her. When she was finished, I felt with my fingers to get an idea of the style. It felt rather intricate.
I gathered up my courage and started the long descent to the ground, wishing for Tamara's steadying grip.
No one seemed to mind or be overly concerned with my presence. Elves that walked past smiled at me but left me alone and after a while I started concentrating on not staring openly or gaping when I saw just how exquisite these creatures looked in the morning light. The women were tall and serene while the men, while handsome and masculine, were a far cry from the more rugged-looking humans I was used to.
I walked in silence awhile, enjoying the solitude as I inhaled the unearthly clean air.
'Just breathing this air adds years to your life' I thought and my heart twisted a little. Sadly, that was not my case...
'My lady'
I spun around, startled by the closeness of the voice. I did not expect to come face to face with a tall elf with long blonde hair and dark piercing eyes.
'I did not mean to frighten you, my lady.' He said with a smile 'Forgive me, but Lady Galadriel wishes for you to join her at mealtime'
'Yes, of course, thank you' was all I could think of saying. He bowed formally and beckoned me to follow him.
He led me to an open veranda where a table had been laid for about a dozen people.
'Welcome, Mel.' Galadriel said as she gestured me to sit beside her 'Was your sleep restful?'
'Yes, my lady. Thank you for your kindness' I answered, still unsure of how exactly to address this majestic creature.
I felt her gaze searching me as I felt she was somehow aware of the exchange that had gone on between Tamara and myself the previous night.
Upon entering the dining hall, I noticed unfamiliar faces seated around the carven stone table, especially a rugged-looking man with dark hair and unshaven face. I had the distinct feeling that I had seen him somewhere before. To his immediate right sat an old gentleman with a gray, unkempt beard and unmistakably unyielding, yet kind gray eyes. The third one was an elf I had not seen the night before. He looked young and had an open expression; handsome yet delicate and long fair hair hanging on his shoulders. He was the most striking male I had ever seen.
That is how I met Aragorn, Gandalf and Legolas.
They were gracious and well mannered, yet I could almost feel their eyes piercing me, penetrating and faintly distrustful.
I didn't blame them since I felt the same way.
More than the others, Aragorn watched my every reaction like a hawk. Why? And especially, how could someone whose character traits were written into software code send across any vibes at all? It was not the first time I would be amazed at the complexity of this world.
Even more worrying was the fact that I could sense nothing of the kind from Gandalf and Legolas. They merely looked at me their eyes intent and focused, as if trying to read my mind.
Galadriel must have sensed my uneasiness because when she spoke to me, her tone was gentle and it had in immediate calming effect on me.
'Mel, do not worry yourself needlessly. After the meal, we will talk and you will learn what you need to know.'
I wondered what exactly 'need to know' meant. I was in their world and my well being, indeed my life, depended on my learning as much as possible, even if it was on a need-to-know basis.
We had soft cakes, a mixture between muffins and crumpets. The water cup I drank from had flowers strewn in it and the flavor was so invigorating it tasted almost antiseptic.
Oddly enough, I had not felt the need for coffee since I had woken up. Not yet. I was on my third cup of coffee by the time the sun was up as I was a nearly riser, and could not dream of functioning properly until my fifth cup.
The table was cleared swiftly and freshly scented water pitchers were set in front of us. So far it all looked like a conference was about to start and Middle-Earth or not, I recognized a business meeting when I saw one.
I counted twelve people sitting at that table, mostly elves, mostly men, save for Galadriel and myself.
Galadriel spoke, her manner stately and solemn.
'As we all have come to know of late, the times we live in are dire. Darkness is growing and whether because of the Shadow from the East or from other parts, it is slowly spreading. More and more lands are threatened by old and new evil. Some we can weather. Others, we can defeat. Yet others we cannot thwart because we do not know what they truly are. They come under the guise of innocence and familiarity yet they could be new, more heinous and unfathomable kinds of evil wrought, to serve what purpose, we do not know. Signs have come to us over the years, few, yet to disregards them would be impossible as it would be foolish.'
Galardriel's gaze rested on me and I felt my heart sink while my cheeks started to burn with a strange flush.
'You are one such sign, Mel.' She said, no trace of resentment in her voice.
Before I could repress my words, I was protesting.
'How can I be a sign?' I tried to restrain my voice from sounding shrill and not reveal the anxiety that simmered inside me, but with little success.
'I don't even belong in this world.'
'You do not, that is true' Galadriel replied, 'yet you find yourself here with no way back to your own world. To have crossed over into our world is evidence enough that someone is capable of stretching the boundaries of space and time.'
My stomach turned in shock as the realization dawned on me.
They think their world is real... What's more, they think their world is the only real world.
Was there any other way than to play along? I doubted it.
I tried to push away the next thought that formed in my head, but my brain refused to stop thinking…
At least there was something to do while I waited to die. A sudden desire came over me to end it all there, to put an end to all the uncertainty, to the waiting. Part of me was horrified and sickened at the thought. Yet another part of me did not seem to mind. My mixed feelings must have been clearly reflecting on my face, and I did not bother concealing them, since Galadriel reached out her hand and touched me lightly. Again I was strangely soothed.
'Mel, even if we do not know how or why you came here, there must be a reason why all this happened. We will need your help as much as you need ours.'
It was Gandalf who spoke this time, his voice deep and resonant, and every word he uttered seemed to have great weight. Yet he spoke with great empathy.
'Every now and then', he said, 'we see things that do not belong to our world. Some good. Some evil. And every once in a while we are sent messengers. You are one such messenger. Your companion was another. As the Lady of Light said, this is a time of darkness when the Shadow from the East is growing, threatening to swallow up all the free lands on Middle-Earth. It is in such times that we must be on guard and try to stave off the onslaught of the enemy. For my part, I do not believe that your arrival here has anything to do with darkness…'
'But such messengers in troubled times cannot be good omens,' Aragorn interjected, his tone eloquent yet unbiased. 'I mean no offense, my lady' he said looking at me somewhat diffidently. Yet there was no trace of an apology in his gray, determined eyes.
'That might be so, Aragorn' Gandalf agreed then turning to me, said 'But I feel quite safe to wager that neither you nor your companion are creatures of the dark. You resemble the race of Men more than anyone else in Middle-Earth.'
'But Men do not posses the craft of magic, indeed they are the least gifted race, if I may say so myself.' Aragorn replied evenly 'Mel's companion disappeared without a trace during the night. It would have been impossible for her to slip away unseen…' he let the sentence trail off.
I realized he wasn't being arrogant or prejudiced, he was just being cautious. And being cautious meant he was wary of my motives and me.
I watched this exchange anxiously. I had stifled all reactions and harsh words that came to my lips until I could hold them back no more.
'Forgive me for intruding' I said, choosing my words carefully and trying to appear polite yet decisive 'I believe I need to explain something, before any one of you goes on.'
I paused and glanced around the table, the same way I did in real life, in a deadlocked conference or in the courtroom.
I had their attention. The difference was, I didn't have a clear line of defense here. Instinct was my only guide.
'I do not wish to be here any more than you yourselves wish for me to be here. But I can assure you, my presence here has nothing to do with any message, pending disaster or indeed with the end of your world. Until a short while ago, I was not even aware that your world existed. I am here purely by accident and if I could go back in the next instant, I would do so without hesitation.'
I carried on, aware of eleven pairs of eyes intent on my every breath.
'I am indeed human. But I was not sent here to warn anyone about anything. I am… lost here.' I could head my voice becoming strangled as I prayed for strength and enough control to be able to finish my speech. 'My companion Tamara disappeared because she returned to the world I also belong to. Only I cannot follow. I am trapped here until such time as I find a way back.' I tried to sound as composed and less dramatic as I could but I had to stop lest emotion choked my next words.
'Tamara spoke to me last night' Galadriel said gently. 'I know about your misfortune and of the shadow that hangs over your head'
For a moment, I wondered just how much the others knew and I resented being pitied. Another part of me silently thanked Tamara for taking the burden of explanation off my shoulders.
'Yet somehow' Galadriel continued, her deep blue eyes shimmering with a strange light, 'I cannot shake the feeling that your fate, such as it is, might be entwined with that of our world. You are a sign, Mel… a sign that something else besides us has access to our world. This is what is so unsettling.'
You have no idea, I thought.
Gandalf flinched visibly and I had the distinct impression that my mind had been laid bare in front of the dignified old wizard.
The show of female camaraderie had brightened my mood only for a moment. Galadriel wasn't on my side any more than the men watching me from across the table. Yet she had clearly conveyed the message that whatever I was, she would rather have me in her corner.
Something still bothered me though. If I was an unknown entity, neither evil nor good, then what was I doing sitting at the table with them, in what was an obviously an important decision-making process? I decided to be direct. No harm would come of it.
'May I ask what are your intentions with me?' I asked, looking straight at Galadriel, who was after all, my hostess.
'You have a choice, Mel,' Galadriel spoke, her gaze amenable and warm again.
'You can stay here for as long as you wish. However, I fear that I cannot help you more than by giving you lodging and food. And it is obvious to me that you are bent on finding answers…'
She paused for a moment and I thought I saw an imperceptible nod from Gandalf.
'Your other choice is to join Gandalf, Estel and Legolas on their journey to Mirkwood. Their mission is to deliver a dangerous prisoner to Lord Thranduil, prince Legolas' father. I must warn you, it would be wiser to stay here. Their road is filled with peril. But should you desire in your heart to leave, I will not hinder you. Perhaps you will find the answers and such healing as you seek beyond the confines of this realm.'
~~
A/N: It will get worse, do not fear! If you have suggestions and constructive criticism, I'd like to hear it!
