*Thank you to all who have reviewed. I'm sorry to those who had hoped that
no one would die in this story, but unfortunatly that is kinda the premise
of the story. Thank you for reading it anyways, your reviews mean a lot to
me. Also, the poem in this chapter is taken from one of Jewel's books, so
it's not really mine.
Chapter 12:
Hours flew by, not noticed however by someone completely passed out. Padme began to stir as she heard a very distinct sound, waking her from her drug induced slumber. She heard a faint sound of a child's laughter, and as she drew closer to consciousness the sound grew louder. She forced her eyelids open, and despite the pain a smile crossed her lips at the sight before her.
She saw her beautiful daughter sitting on Obi Wan's lap, being entertained by her faithful astro droid R2.
"Ready Leia?" Obi Wan leaned down and whispered in her ear. Leia clapped with excitement. They turned their attention to the waiting droid. "Ok R2, dance." Obi Wan commanded and the droid began to twirl around in circles. Leia clapped harder and laughed.
Obi Wan kissed the top of her head, although holding the toddler made his heart a little lighter, he still couldn't bring himself to genuinely smile. He then noticed a presence in the room, he turned and noticed that Padme was awake. He forced a smile her way.
She returned the smile and looked at her friend. She saw the remnants of blisters and burns across his face from the force lightning, but she also noticed how tired he looked, as if the weight of the entire galaxy was on his shoulders, a look that had become much too common on this particular Jedi's countenance.
Leia also noticed the presence in the room and she turned and looked at her mother, a bright smile crossing her face. "Mommy!" She screamed and jumped down from Obi Wan's arms and ran to her mother's bed.
Obi Wan carefully rose from the chair, still feeling stiff and weak and followed the toddler to the bed. "Careful Leia, your momma's a little broken right now. You need to be gentle." He softly said as he lifted her onto Padme's bed.
"I'm not that fragile." Padme admonished and wrapped her arms around her daughter. "Oh my baby. . ." She couldn't stop her eyes from watering as she was so relieved her daughter was alive. She planted several kisses on leia's face. Leia then nuzzled herself next to her mom and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. Padme looked up at Obi Wan, and felt her eyes tear up some more. "How are you?" She asked.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, and then the top of Leia's head. "Later. I'm not what's important right now." He looked Padme in the eyes. "Leia needs you." He softly stated. He turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm.
"No. Stay." She softly commanded.
Obi Wan nodded and pulled up the chair next to her bed. She reached out for him, and he grasped her hand with both of his, he then rested his head on their hands. They sat in silence for a moment until Leia asked a very awkward question.
"Mommy, who's the black armor man?" She asked, twirling her hair around one of her fingers, a habit she does when she's nervous.
Obi Wan and Padme exchanged worried glances. They knew this question would come some day, they just weren't ready for it yet. Padme cleared her throat before she began. "Well Leia. . ." She glanced up at Obi Wan again then continued. "Sweetie, that's Darth Vader." She closed her eyes tightly when she spoke that name.
"Darth Vater?" Leia attempted to repeat the name as best as she could.
Padme kissed the top of Leia's head before continuing. "Yes honey, you see Darth Vader is. . . well he's. . ." She looked at Obi Wan again, who was giving her an "are you sure look". Padme looked down into the innocent eyes of her child. "He's a very bad man." She felt the words get caught in her throat. "A very bad man."
Obi Wan stood up, and began to pace the room. He then stopped and rubbed the back of his neck and glanced back at Padme, who had tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Mommy?" Leia asked, who was also beginning to cry. She then began to try to wipe away her mother's tears. Padme held her tightly.
Obi Wan looked over at the door and noticed Bail Organa leaning on it. The two men exchanged glances before Bail moved into the room.
He walked up to the bed and carefully scooped Leia in his arms. "Come on kiddo, your mom needs her rest." He stated as he began to take Leia out of the room.
Obi Wan walked back to Padme. "You ok?" He asked lamely, and sat back down in the chair.
"I don't want them to know. I don't want them to know him as Darth Vader." She said almost under her breath.
"Padme."
She shook her head. "I want them to know Anakin, I want them to know him as the good man that he was. The man I fell in love with." She looked up at her closest friend. "Promise me Ben."
Obi Wan nodded.
"Ben, I'm so sorry." She finally said, and he turned his gaze away from her.
He rose to his feet and stared out the window, staying silent for a moment. "Did you know she was carrying my child?" He asked softly. He turned to face her after a moment of silence and noticed she was slowly nodding. He turned his gaze back to the window. "He took away my chance to be a father." Obi Wan stated through clenched teeth. "The sith took everything away from me! I hate them." He ranted.
"Stop it!" Padme shouted, even starling her at how loud her voice was. Obi Wan looked at her. "Listen to yourself, don't you know who you sound like?" She stopped a moment and he stared at her. "Look, Ben no one is trying to say that this isn't fair. And I will be the first to admit that you have had a harder life than probably anyone I know. I'm sorry that you have lost almost everyone you've ever cared about, but please Ben don't follow him down that path." She started to feel the pain rise up again as she continued. "Please, I can't lose you too."
He looked at her, and felt the rage begin to melt away. "Padme, you won't lose me."
He walked over to her and knelt beside her, laying his head on her bed next to her. She ran her fingers through his hair. "Don't lose hope, please." She said softly. "I need you, we need you. . . you have to train Luke."
"You really want him trained? What if he ends up like his father?"
"He won't, because you will be there and he is stronger than his father." She said very confidently.
"I'm sorry M'lady. I failed you." He stated, running a hand through her hair. "I can't."
"You have yet to fail me Kenobi, but if you give up the fight now you will fail me." She held his head in her hands and stared into his eyes. "I love you Ben." She said in almost a whisper.
He jerked his head back in surprise. "Padme?"
She put a finger on his lips, keeping him from continuing. "I know, I know. If it were a different time and a different place then perhaps."
He leaned down and gently kissed her on the lips. "Rest now, you need to heal." He stated and rose to his feet.
As he turned to leave she called out to him. "Ben." He turned back and looked at her curiously and noticed she was holding a piece of paper out to him. "Read this, but not now." She said and he took it from her.
"Now, rest." He said and turned off the lights.
*******
One week later:
Obi Wan looked around at the scene before him. 'So many people came.' He thought to himself. 'She touched so many lives.' He had to catch a sob that tried to break free as he looked over at the glass case containing the body of the former senator of Naboo.
They were not able to find any bacta in time. The Imperial army had plundered many of the planets, taking medical supplies that were desperately needed for wounded soldiers. Her back became infected and Padme Amidala-Skywalker died of a fever.
Obi Wan tried to hide inside his dark brown cloak as he watch various beings pay their last respects. He once again found himself staring at the lifeless body of someone he cared deeply for, and then realized there weren't too many more that he'd have to see for there weren't many he cared for left.
He then glanced over at Bail Organa, who was holding Padme's daughter Leia. She was resting her head on his shoulder and crying. Obi Wan's heart went out to her, but he knew she was in good hands with the man who adopted her.
He looked back at Padme and his thoughts turned to their last real conversation, before she had become too sick to realize what was going on. He thought about he confession of loving him, and he wondered how different it would've been had he been with Padme instead of Anakin.
He then realized that in all the years of striving to be the perfect Jedi, to follow the code so strictly that others saw him as pompous. He really was a rebel like his master and his apprentice had been. He fell in love, and not with just one woman. He felt sick to his stomach when he realized that his vision had come true, with the deaths of both Siri and Padme he now was truly alone.
He then turned his head and noticed a tall, dark silhouette standing next to a tree. 'No, couldn't be.' Obi Wan thought to himself. He strained in the sunlight to see the figure, but was interrupted by someone tugging at his cloak, he looked down at Leia. When he turned back to the tree, the figure was gone. He picked up Leia and held her tightly.
"Uncle Obi will I ever see mommy again?" She asked, wiping tears from her eyes.
Obi Wan kissed her forehead. "Your mother will always be with you, she loved you very much."
Leia looked at him. "Where you going?" She asked.
He looked at her surprised. 'Look at this little force user.' He gave her a small smile. "I have to go now baby, I have a promise I have to keep."
"But I don't want you to go." She wined.
"Leia I have to, but you need to stay here with your. . ." He looked at Bail, who gave a weak smile. "With your father." Leia looked over at her step dad and then back at Obi Wan. "I will always be there when you need me, I promise." She then gave him a huge hug and he gave her back to Bail Organa.
*****
The years went by, the unrelenting heat of Tatooine burned his skin as he reached his hovel. He had tried once again to convince Owen Lars to let him see Luke, but to no prevail.
It had been 5 years since the purge, since Padme's death. Obi Wan knelt down next to a chest that he only opened in times where he wanted to remember why he kept going. He looked through the different items. Holopics, data pads, light sabers wrapped in cloth, and finally a book.
He grasped the book and walked to his small sleep couch, in this book he had written down everything that had happened to the Jedi since the fall of the temple, he had wanted to use it as a starting place for the new archives, it ended up becoming more of a journal. He opened the book and took out a piece of paper. He carefully opened it and began to read. . .
Steady yourself love,
Steady yourself
For victory is near
Shut out the world
With it's tyranny
Of noise
None of that matters now
Draw strength from
The vision the deepest
Folds of your soul
So longs for
For it is a song we all sing
Steady yourself love,
Upon my gaze
In this maze
In this corridor
And waver not in the face
Of the battle cry
We will not be beaten!
Lose not your faith now
For I need it to strengthen my own
And should your steps
Falter, mine would
Grow lonely in this
World of coal and roses
We are the living
And the living
Must love the world
It is our duty
To fill our hearts
With all the anguish and joy
Or our brothers and sisters
Steady yourself love,
Be strong beside me
And know that our
Unrelenting gives them
Dis-ease, and that
The clearer you mouth
Raises itself in
Songs of freedom
The more others will come to
warm themselves around
the flag of your faith
For our numbers grow
And soon will out weigh
Their tattered armies
And I want your heart
To rejoice in its
Inevitable victory.
-Padme Amidala-Skywalker
Chapter 12:
Hours flew by, not noticed however by someone completely passed out. Padme began to stir as she heard a very distinct sound, waking her from her drug induced slumber. She heard a faint sound of a child's laughter, and as she drew closer to consciousness the sound grew louder. She forced her eyelids open, and despite the pain a smile crossed her lips at the sight before her.
She saw her beautiful daughter sitting on Obi Wan's lap, being entertained by her faithful astro droid R2.
"Ready Leia?" Obi Wan leaned down and whispered in her ear. Leia clapped with excitement. They turned their attention to the waiting droid. "Ok R2, dance." Obi Wan commanded and the droid began to twirl around in circles. Leia clapped harder and laughed.
Obi Wan kissed the top of her head, although holding the toddler made his heart a little lighter, he still couldn't bring himself to genuinely smile. He then noticed a presence in the room, he turned and noticed that Padme was awake. He forced a smile her way.
She returned the smile and looked at her friend. She saw the remnants of blisters and burns across his face from the force lightning, but she also noticed how tired he looked, as if the weight of the entire galaxy was on his shoulders, a look that had become much too common on this particular Jedi's countenance.
Leia also noticed the presence in the room and she turned and looked at her mother, a bright smile crossing her face. "Mommy!" She screamed and jumped down from Obi Wan's arms and ran to her mother's bed.
Obi Wan carefully rose from the chair, still feeling stiff and weak and followed the toddler to the bed. "Careful Leia, your momma's a little broken right now. You need to be gentle." He softly said as he lifted her onto Padme's bed.
"I'm not that fragile." Padme admonished and wrapped her arms around her daughter. "Oh my baby. . ." She couldn't stop her eyes from watering as she was so relieved her daughter was alive. She planted several kisses on leia's face. Leia then nuzzled herself next to her mom and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. Padme looked up at Obi Wan, and felt her eyes tear up some more. "How are you?" She asked.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, and then the top of Leia's head. "Later. I'm not what's important right now." He looked Padme in the eyes. "Leia needs you." He softly stated. He turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm.
"No. Stay." She softly commanded.
Obi Wan nodded and pulled up the chair next to her bed. She reached out for him, and he grasped her hand with both of his, he then rested his head on their hands. They sat in silence for a moment until Leia asked a very awkward question.
"Mommy, who's the black armor man?" She asked, twirling her hair around one of her fingers, a habit she does when she's nervous.
Obi Wan and Padme exchanged worried glances. They knew this question would come some day, they just weren't ready for it yet. Padme cleared her throat before she began. "Well Leia. . ." She glanced up at Obi Wan again then continued. "Sweetie, that's Darth Vader." She closed her eyes tightly when she spoke that name.
"Darth Vater?" Leia attempted to repeat the name as best as she could.
Padme kissed the top of Leia's head before continuing. "Yes honey, you see Darth Vader is. . . well he's. . ." She looked at Obi Wan again, who was giving her an "are you sure look". Padme looked down into the innocent eyes of her child. "He's a very bad man." She felt the words get caught in her throat. "A very bad man."
Obi Wan stood up, and began to pace the room. He then stopped and rubbed the back of his neck and glanced back at Padme, who had tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Mommy?" Leia asked, who was also beginning to cry. She then began to try to wipe away her mother's tears. Padme held her tightly.
Obi Wan looked over at the door and noticed Bail Organa leaning on it. The two men exchanged glances before Bail moved into the room.
He walked up to the bed and carefully scooped Leia in his arms. "Come on kiddo, your mom needs her rest." He stated as he began to take Leia out of the room.
Obi Wan walked back to Padme. "You ok?" He asked lamely, and sat back down in the chair.
"I don't want them to know. I don't want them to know him as Darth Vader." She said almost under her breath.
"Padme."
She shook her head. "I want them to know Anakin, I want them to know him as the good man that he was. The man I fell in love with." She looked up at her closest friend. "Promise me Ben."
Obi Wan nodded.
"Ben, I'm so sorry." She finally said, and he turned his gaze away from her.
He rose to his feet and stared out the window, staying silent for a moment. "Did you know she was carrying my child?" He asked softly. He turned to face her after a moment of silence and noticed she was slowly nodding. He turned his gaze back to the window. "He took away my chance to be a father." Obi Wan stated through clenched teeth. "The sith took everything away from me! I hate them." He ranted.
"Stop it!" Padme shouted, even starling her at how loud her voice was. Obi Wan looked at her. "Listen to yourself, don't you know who you sound like?" She stopped a moment and he stared at her. "Look, Ben no one is trying to say that this isn't fair. And I will be the first to admit that you have had a harder life than probably anyone I know. I'm sorry that you have lost almost everyone you've ever cared about, but please Ben don't follow him down that path." She started to feel the pain rise up again as she continued. "Please, I can't lose you too."
He looked at her, and felt the rage begin to melt away. "Padme, you won't lose me."
He walked over to her and knelt beside her, laying his head on her bed next to her. She ran her fingers through his hair. "Don't lose hope, please." She said softly. "I need you, we need you. . . you have to train Luke."
"You really want him trained? What if he ends up like his father?"
"He won't, because you will be there and he is stronger than his father." She said very confidently.
"I'm sorry M'lady. I failed you." He stated, running a hand through her hair. "I can't."
"You have yet to fail me Kenobi, but if you give up the fight now you will fail me." She held his head in her hands and stared into his eyes. "I love you Ben." She said in almost a whisper.
He jerked his head back in surprise. "Padme?"
She put a finger on his lips, keeping him from continuing. "I know, I know. If it were a different time and a different place then perhaps."
He leaned down and gently kissed her on the lips. "Rest now, you need to heal." He stated and rose to his feet.
As he turned to leave she called out to him. "Ben." He turned back and looked at her curiously and noticed she was holding a piece of paper out to him. "Read this, but not now." She said and he took it from her.
"Now, rest." He said and turned off the lights.
*******
One week later:
Obi Wan looked around at the scene before him. 'So many people came.' He thought to himself. 'She touched so many lives.' He had to catch a sob that tried to break free as he looked over at the glass case containing the body of the former senator of Naboo.
They were not able to find any bacta in time. The Imperial army had plundered many of the planets, taking medical supplies that were desperately needed for wounded soldiers. Her back became infected and Padme Amidala-Skywalker died of a fever.
Obi Wan tried to hide inside his dark brown cloak as he watch various beings pay their last respects. He once again found himself staring at the lifeless body of someone he cared deeply for, and then realized there weren't too many more that he'd have to see for there weren't many he cared for left.
He then glanced over at Bail Organa, who was holding Padme's daughter Leia. She was resting her head on his shoulder and crying. Obi Wan's heart went out to her, but he knew she was in good hands with the man who adopted her.
He looked back at Padme and his thoughts turned to their last real conversation, before she had become too sick to realize what was going on. He thought about he confession of loving him, and he wondered how different it would've been had he been with Padme instead of Anakin.
He then realized that in all the years of striving to be the perfect Jedi, to follow the code so strictly that others saw him as pompous. He really was a rebel like his master and his apprentice had been. He fell in love, and not with just one woman. He felt sick to his stomach when he realized that his vision had come true, with the deaths of both Siri and Padme he now was truly alone.
He then turned his head and noticed a tall, dark silhouette standing next to a tree. 'No, couldn't be.' Obi Wan thought to himself. He strained in the sunlight to see the figure, but was interrupted by someone tugging at his cloak, he looked down at Leia. When he turned back to the tree, the figure was gone. He picked up Leia and held her tightly.
"Uncle Obi will I ever see mommy again?" She asked, wiping tears from her eyes.
Obi Wan kissed her forehead. "Your mother will always be with you, she loved you very much."
Leia looked at him. "Where you going?" She asked.
He looked at her surprised. 'Look at this little force user.' He gave her a small smile. "I have to go now baby, I have a promise I have to keep."
"But I don't want you to go." She wined.
"Leia I have to, but you need to stay here with your. . ." He looked at Bail, who gave a weak smile. "With your father." Leia looked over at her step dad and then back at Obi Wan. "I will always be there when you need me, I promise." She then gave him a huge hug and he gave her back to Bail Organa.
*****
The years went by, the unrelenting heat of Tatooine burned his skin as he reached his hovel. He had tried once again to convince Owen Lars to let him see Luke, but to no prevail.
It had been 5 years since the purge, since Padme's death. Obi Wan knelt down next to a chest that he only opened in times where he wanted to remember why he kept going. He looked through the different items. Holopics, data pads, light sabers wrapped in cloth, and finally a book.
He grasped the book and walked to his small sleep couch, in this book he had written down everything that had happened to the Jedi since the fall of the temple, he had wanted to use it as a starting place for the new archives, it ended up becoming more of a journal. He opened the book and took out a piece of paper. He carefully opened it and began to read. . .
Steady yourself love,
Steady yourself
For victory is near
Shut out the world
With it's tyranny
Of noise
None of that matters now
Draw strength from
The vision the deepest
Folds of your soul
So longs for
For it is a song we all sing
Steady yourself love,
Upon my gaze
In this maze
In this corridor
And waver not in the face
Of the battle cry
We will not be beaten!
Lose not your faith now
For I need it to strengthen my own
And should your steps
Falter, mine would
Grow lonely in this
World of coal and roses
We are the living
And the living
Must love the world
It is our duty
To fill our hearts
With all the anguish and joy
Or our brothers and sisters
Steady yourself love,
Be strong beside me
And know that our
Unrelenting gives them
Dis-ease, and that
The clearer you mouth
Raises itself in
Songs of freedom
The more others will come to
warm themselves around
the flag of your faith
For our numbers grow
And soon will out weigh
Their tattered armies
And I want your heart
To rejoice in its
Inevitable victory.
-Padme Amidala-Skywalker
