Chapter 3 ~ Heaven, Hell and Somewhere in Between
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When Kagome awoke her whole body hurt. 'I have to be in hell if this is what I feel after being killed. Why of all places did I end up in hell? What have I done to deserve this? I am a miko for god's sake. A miko! Not just any miko, I was chosen to guard the Shikon no Tama, and yet, I end up in hell. Perhaps hell is my price to pay for shattering the jewel. I wish that I would have known better. I hope I get a chance to be reborn and get things right. I wish that I got to see my family one last time.'
She stretched out her arms and something was in the way. Kagome turned her head towards the obstruction and saw InuYasha. 'Kikyo must have succeeded in dragging InuYasha to hell with her, but it is touching that he found me and is holding me instead.'
"I guess since this is hell, I suppose I can do whatever I want—" Smiling mischievously, Kagome started to rub the hanyou's ears remarking how soft and cute they were (InuYasha's hanyou ears were one of his cutest attributes). 'This could very well be a trick that hell is playing on me. He could disappear at anytime.' Meanwhile, InuYasha started to come around when he felt one of the most sensitive parts of his being, being played with. He looked to see who was fondling his ears and was overjoyed. He grabbed Kagome and held her in a tight embrace, close to his chest.
"Kagome, I am so glad to see you alive, when I thought I lost you, I almost died inside…" The dog-eared demon trailed off not wanting to think about what would happen if he truly had lost her. Even when he lost her for a short while, the pain that grew inside him more grief-laden and sorrowful then the pain ever caused to him by his first love. 'Kikyo may have been my first love, but what I felt for her doesn't compare to how I feel for Kagome. What if Kagome had seen him with Kikyo that evening?! There is no way that she wouldn't get the wrong impression from seeing us together! Should I ask her if she did? I don't want her knowing if she didn't…' His thoughts were interrupted by the girl in his arms.
He must be crazy, Kagome thought. 'He doesn't realize that he is in hell yet. I think I should explain it to him, but how…?'
"InuYasha, I think you are confused. See, we are in hell. Kikyo must have finally been able to drag you down into hell with her that evening after I died, and somehow you found me. I know this is hell because I am still in pain after death, and that wouldn't happen in heaven. But I still wonder why hell of all places, since my last act was a self-less one to save you even after I saw you two together. I must have just slipped up along the way."
InuYasha began to laugh and then just laughed harder. He also was trying to think of what to say to her about Kikyo. 'I need to make her understand that that meeting was not was she thinks it is.'
"Mou InuYasha, why are you laughing? This isn't funny."
"Kagome, we are alive. Kikyo didn't drag me into hell. Sesshomaru revived you with Tenseiga-" He was promptly cut off at the mention of his older brother's name.
"Sesshomaru?! What are you talking about? Sesshomaru would never do something so, so...so....human… or nice. You must have lost your mind when Kikyo dragged you down here. I saw myself dead."
InuYasha took a deep breath. "Kagome, please just let me explain. First, let me explain what happened with Kikyo that evening. I was going to tell you what happened there later. I knew that Kikyo had been following us for the past few days. Wherever we went, the stench of dirt and decay followed. When I left you guys that evening, I was not angry; I wanted to be alone with her because there were things that we needed to talk about. I told her to stop following us around, that I no longer felt about her the way that I used to. I told her that you were the one who accepted me for everything that I was. I told her that she was dead, and so was my longing for her.
Second, we are not dead. Sesshomaru and I made a pact. He would revive you if I fought him again for tetsusaiga after he killed you ('one could argue it was suicide…'). If I won, he would revive you, if I lost, he would take my life, my sword, and he wouldn't have revived you either. I won the battle Kagome, and true to his word, Sesshomaru used Tenseiga to revive you. So the reason that you feel pain is that you were seriously injured, though you wounds aren't as bad as they were. Spirits can't experience physical pain, Kagome."
"You risked your life to save me? Why? I risked my life to save you! If you went and got yourself killed, my death would have been in vain. How could you be so selfish?"
InuYasha was taken aback by her last comment. Him? Selfish? He risked his life for her and he was selfish? He sighed and just let it go, realizing that Kagome was still in shock and not totally in reality, knowing that they were alive. "Kagome, I couldn't live the way I did without you, I'd rather be dead. I would go back to the way I was the day that I was sealed to the goshinboku, and after having lived a full life with you, I couldn't go back."
"InuYasha" she whispered, her voice trailing off. "What are you saying?" 'He couldn't love me, he loved the corpse who stole part of MY soul, and repeatedly made it clear that she wanted me dead. But he just admitted that he went to Kikyo to end things between them for good. He is mean to me, but he is also kind and protects me. I am so confused - am I dead or am I alive, am I dreaming? Or am I in heaven?'
"This is what I am saying -" and with that, InuYasha leaned over and kissed Kagome's lips softly. "I love you Kagome, I want to be with you. You mean everything to me, so much so that I was willing to risk everything for the chance to hold you, breathing, in my arms again."
'I must be dreaming.' "InuYasha, I don't want to wake up." She then leaned forward to him, and put her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion that she had kept inside for all the time that she knew InuYasha and felt rejected by him. She didn't know how InuYasha really felt, but in this dream, she wasn't his shard detector, she wasn't his wench, she wasn't a bitch. She was his love, and love never tasted this sweet.
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"Kagome!"
"InuYasha!"
Sango and Miroku called their names as they saw them in the clearing ahead not knowing what had happened to either of them knew yet. Approaching the scene they saw the earth torn and ravaged, it was not just any clearing, it was a battlefield. "If they were sleeping, they would not have chosen this open area, InuYasha is not that foolish, right Houshi-sama?" They increased their running speed all the while calling their names, hoping that they were sleeping and nothing worse all the while preparing for the worst. 'Please be alright Kagome, you are my best-friend here' Sango thought to herself, wondering if Miroku was as worried as she was.
Miroku and Sango reached them in a very short time. They first made sure that the two were still alive and when they determined that they were, a great sigh of relief was heard from both of them. "Sango, I think that we should try to wake them up."
"You're right, I want to know what happened to put them into this situation, and then I want to get revenge for them if possible. It must have been one powerful youkai in order to put both InuYasha and Kagome into this condition. Wait, Houshi-sama, you don't think that it was Sesshomaru do you??" Sango looked even more worried. It could not have been another youkai besides Sesshomaru, could it?
"If it was, for neither of them to be dead, they had to have been really lucky. That youkai has no compassion or regard for anything besides himself." 'Furthermore, Sesshomaru hates InuYasha, so if this area is a result of that, it must have been some battle…'
"Kagome! Wake up! Please just wake up! Kagome!" Sango was shaking her friend by the shoulders trying to get her to come to, from sleep or unconsciousness; she didn't care, as long as she opened her eyes.
Miroku took a less personal approach towards waking InuYasha. The last thing he wanted was to be near him when he woke up and was angry at him for waking him up. So he stood at a safe distance and poked lightly at InuYasha with his staff. "Oy, InuYasha, wake up. Open your eyes. Oy, InuYasha…!"
InuYasha opened his eyes and saw that he was still holding Kagome. The events leading up to now were a blur for the most part. He had remembered he felt something poking at him and looked up. There was Miroku and Sango looking worried. 'Ah, they must have come to look for us when we didn't come back.' "Oy - Miroku, Sango-"
"InuYasha, what happened to you and Kagome? Surely you wouldn't have just slept out here in the open for no reason? Why hasn't Kagome woken up yet?" Saying that there was urgency in Sango's tone was an understatement.
"Sango, it is a long story, Kagome has still probably not recovered fully yet." "Kagome!" He whispered over and over to the girl in his arms while gently rocking her to try his best to bring her around.
"In..Inu..InuYasha? You are still here?" Kagome spoke softly, questioning in her eyes.
'What do you mean 'You are still here?' of course I am you baka.' InuYasha shook his head in what came closest to disbelief. "Yes, I haven't left you. I can't and wouldn't leave you unprotected in this condition."
"What condition? I am just worn out and tired – itai!" Kagome yelled in pain when she tried to sit up straight. Pain coursed throughout her whole body. She then realized that she wasn't dreaming and she wasn't dead either. 'Sango and Miroku had come looking for us after we had left and not returned. InuYasha kissed me. I think I remember faintly that he told me that he loved me. I kissed him back. I kissed him back! That situation must have been from a dream. I would not have just kissed him. Then why does it feel so real… If it was real, I would think that it was, wouldn't I? InuYasha couldn't love me, Kikyo, my past life. That was who InuYasha loves; he has said on multiple occasions that Kikyo owns him. They have even kissed in an embrace. His relationship with that corpse is what landed them here.' She started to get angry on the inside. 'That's what I have to do; I have to pretend that nothing happened between us, since noting could have happened and deny it in the small chance that something did. Otherwise just more hurt, humiliation and heartbreak await me.' "Ah, my back and my head really hurt..."
"What happened you two?" Miroku questioned the both of them. Sango wanted to hear this answer too.
Kagome interjected, "Ne, InuYasha? What did happen? Everything is just a blur to me." That was not a total lie. Everything was a blur to Kagome for the most part and she did not want to miss the first chance to find out what had exactly happened between (if anything) and to the two of them.
InuYasha sighed. 'I can't remember everything clearly, but I do remember more than Kagome, since I was alive for all of it. But I don't want to remember it, not the events and not the emotions. However, the three people staring at me make that option no longer a choice. What am I supposed to say? I guess I can just leave out unnecessary information. That's fair, isn't it?'
"Sesshomaru...stumbled upon us when we were in this clearing. He started in with his usual self-important talk. 'Where is Naraku? Why are you still alive? You, such a worthless hanyou does not even deserve the sword you wield.' And so on. We began to fight and Sesshomaru killed Kagome when she was trying to warn me of his surprise attack." Sango and Miroku gasped and went pale, 'did he just say, 'killed Kagome'?' they thought to themselves in unison. If Sango was not as strong as she was, she would have fainted right there. "Sesshomaru still wanted to battle me for tetsusaiga. I wouldn't battle him because of what he just did. So we made a pact. I would fight him, if I won, he would use Tenseiga to revive Kagome. I won, so he revived her." InuYasha made a point not to mention anything about Sesshomaru owning him until his debt is repaid.
"What would have happened if you lost?" Miroku's curiosity got the best of him, it seemed to InuYasha.
"Miroku, it doesn't matter, I didn't lose." He was now starting to get annoyed with his friends. 'Granted, they are concerned, but we are both OK, so I don't know what the big deal is anymore.'
"InuYasha," Kagome probed (as if InuYasha needed or wanted anymore people involved in this active inquisition), "I want to know what would have happened if you lost."
"He would have taken my life (obviously) and sword and left you dead." 'WHY DO WE HAVE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS???' InuYasha wanted to scream just that question aloud. 'They don't need to know the whole truth, that's for sure. The last thing I want them to do is worry, and right now, that is the last thing that they need.'
"How did you beat Sesshomaru, InuYasha?" Sango asked him, hoping that she wouldn't anger him with her curiosity. She was a demon exterminator after all. If he really did beat the Lord of the Western lands, she wanted to know how.
Miroku chimed in, "Every time I have seen you fight him you have lost miserably, either at the end of his sword or battered and beaten."
"Thanks a lot for the credit guys. You didn't need to add that last part you stupid monk." InuYasha growled in anguish at both of them. However, Sango was persistent, and asked and asked until InuYasha told them.
"Shut up all of you! Feh. Fine, I'll tell you. But let me ask you ungrateful humans this: why does he only have one arm? Huh? What's that? Because I have beaten him before! I cut that arm off. That was the first and only time I had what could be considered a victory over my brother. That is until I beat him in this most recent fight. Sesshomaru told me I would never win against him as long as I never thought with my head. For once, and to my thankfulness, I finally listened to him- since Kagome's life was on the line and all.
Somehow, I was able to think clearly. I knew that Sesshomaru has an absolute advantage in speed and agility in his human form, and whatever attack I threw towards him he could dodge. But I realized that I couldn't just keep using the Kaze no Kizu, since it takes energy out of me each time. So I knew I had to get him to transform into his inu-youkai form. He is more powerful that way, but at least I would have the advantage in agility and speed because Sesshomaru is missing a leg when he is like that.
Then, I did the same thing he did to me, when he charged at me using an attack to evade, I used a kaze no kizu to propel me higher and then I sent the strongest kaze no kizu attack I could muster hurling towards him. I couldn't use the bakuryuuha; otherwise I might have killed him. He needed to be alive to use Tenseiga. He revived her and left. That is all there is to it." Well, 'there was that, and then the Kikyo, uh, misunderstanding, the private occurrences between him and Kagome and the owning thing.' But, they didn't need to know that, he already had decided.
When he snapped out of talking to himself, he saw three sets of wide eyes staring back at him. "What? Do you have some problem with me or something?"
"Oh, nothing really InuYasha. Not a problem…" Miroku stuttered out first. "It just seems like you put a lot of thought into it-"
"Yeah… and you never really put a lot of thought into anything, especially battles. You usually just go in blind and head first." Sango bravely finished the cowardly monk's unsaid thought.
InuYasha mustered up a low growl and looked at Kagome. Something told him that she was relieved for some reason. He dismissed it, thinking that it must be that she was alive because of him. "Do you agree with them, Kagome?" InuYasha asked, almost afraid to know the answer.
"Well, I uh...you see, its not that I agree with them..." InuYasha sensed a "but" coming. "...but" There it was. "I don't disagree with them either. You have always approached things with Sesshomaru in an 'act now, think later, disregard the consequence of my actions' sort of way. Most likely you act that way because you get really irrational and emotional when you are around him…" She let out a nervous laugh.
"Why you! After all I did to save your ass, you go and insult me? I would have thought that you would have appreciated at least a little what I did for you, but I see that I was wrong about someone, yet again. You know, I don't need to take this. I am out of here." He didn't throw Kagome off of himself, but he didn't pry away gently either. He got up and started to run and then took to the trees, almost as if gravity had no effect on him. He just wanted to run. He needed to think. He needed to be away from Kagome.
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