Chapter Four ~ Inner Battles
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Upwind and unbeknownst from the humans and that hanyou, a cold golden stare looked down on them. This Sesshomaru was a full youkai unlike that worthless hanyou sibling of his. He healed faster. He did not have the same weakness that stemmed from association with humans and matters of the heart. 'I am pure rationality.' This Sesshomaru had disavowed his heart. This Sesshomaru lost to a hanyou? 'How can that be possible? How could I lose in my glorious form? Curse that worthless piece of unworthy life for severing my arm…'
The wind was a light zephyr; it passed through the trees and their leaves, causing the forest to dance in the rhythm that the wind set for that hour. Sesshomaru sensed that an insect (much like his annoying hanyou relative) was passing by him. He grasped the air, and opened his palm, revealing a simple leaf. Nature was an odd phenomenon to this Lord of the Western Lands, odd and well, natural. From infancy he was taught survival of the fittest and yet, even as that was part of nature, nature acted on grounds to contradict itself. His foolish father mated with a human, most certainly not as fit as the taiyoukai himself. InuYasha was born, and…..survived. 'Was having something to protect that needed to be protected that important?' The reigning Lord of the Western Lands was unsure. 'But', Sesshomaru thought aloud, "That won't be for much longer."
The great demon couldn't resist drawing parallels between nature and the characteristics of those he was better than. Sesshomaru was a thinker, a strategist. Aligning his foes with their most compatible objects would give him more insight as to how to defeat them. Perhaps even, think more about them. However, the last thing that Sesshomaru would ever want to admit to doing is thinking about some lowly hanyou and humans. The humans failed to realize just who ruled them, 'the most powerful youkai of course.' The hanyou, though he hated to admit it, was more powerful than 90% 'or more' of the youkai in the world. His youki was strong, 'perhaps only a few levels away from mine, however, his body and inherent abilities are nowhere near as capable; another reason that he holds that sword…'
Sesshomaru remembered when he had to intervene with a rampage that his foolish 'why am I surrounded by fools?' half-brother was on because he did not have tetsusaiga. The youki threatened to turn him mad, and a few more occurrences like that one, InuYasha would be left mad. His half-human body cannot handle that much power, the sword however could…even the sheath held containment power over him. Had the Lord of the Western lands not put an end to that rampage, who knows how many things he would have annihilated before he stopped on his own? 'If he stopped on his own, which I did not see happening.' "Why did I not kill him then?" The taiyoukai sighed.
Just the thought of the wretched beast made the greater demon's youkai blood boil. He clenched his hand into a fist and released his poison, causing the once lively leaf to wither, become brittle, and disintegrate into many insignificant pieces. Just like a human would…and a hanyou….He smirked at how many times his poison had injured InuYasha. His specialty poison arts were another trait that made him better than all the others. Not even the strongest poisons from that revived corpse in Naraku's plan could put a hair of his out of place. The half-breed did not have a superior immunity like this Sesshomaru…
What was that smell that kept making its way towards him? He couldn't quite figure it out. He sensed it from the hanyou when he killed his wench, and he sensed it again when those other two he travels with came near. 'What were they again?' He thought. "Ah yes. A demon hunter and a monk. Of all the types of people for a half demon to hang around. He really is a fool!" He laughed at his own sense of humor. This Sesshomaru would never be that stupid, as to hang around with those who make it a living to expel the youkai kind. With a small laugh of superiority he thought to himself, 'Not that their tactics could ever work on a youkai like myself. No youkai has ever defeated me, not even ones as strong as father's greatest foes.'
'But the hanyou did...'
There was that voice that always mocked him. The great Lord of the Western Lands became silent and still.
'But the hanyou did...' 'But the hanyou did...' 'But the hanyou did...' 'But the hanyou did...'
Sesshomaru couldn't take it anymore. "He defeated me because I was not in my best shape. My lack of a forearm prevented me from dodging that last attack."
'Did you forget who took away that forearm?'
The youkai blood inside of him boiled to greater and greater temperatures. "This Sesshomaru never forgot. This Sesshomaru never forgave." He could not decide who he hated and wanted to die more or wanted to forgive less; InuYasha for taking away his arm, or that other race-mix hanyou Naraku for thinking he could make a fool of him. 'At least InuYasha has the honor to fight using his own power. That baboon puppeteer relies on that damned jewel.'
'Thinking he could make a fool? Didn't he? He also kidnapped Rin, the human girl that you travel with...'
"She travels WITH ME." 'And if she no longer did, it would not matter.' He reaffirmed his convictions in that belief.
"Naraku. That bastard has no honor. One of the most important attributes, he lacks. His lack of honor, and my conclusion that I take others having honor for granted is what caused my mistake. Not to worry, however. He will pay. I will seek my revenge upon him and he shall forever more tremble and begin to fear for his soul when he hears my name. I will fight with and for honor, however, I will never assume my opponent knows the meaning of the word. Perhaps it is the hanyou's strict adherence to honor that allows him to live." Silently, he added to his conversation with himself 'Otherwise, I would have most assuredly wiped any trace of him from the earth a long time ago.'
"InuYasha." Sesshomaru took time to say that wretched name. Meticulously, he stressed every syllable and pictured his defiance and insubordination each time. That half-breed was one blindly stubborn opponent. 'But, what does not bend, shatters into pieces…'
InuYasha was like the tree that he was sitting in. Sesshomaru had dominance over it, and the tree could live longer then a human. The tree would never budge, and its' branches may sway, but the heart and soul of the tree, its' trunk, would snap, rather than be bent in half. 'InuYasha that damned fool. How was it that I was defeated by a damned hanyou fool?' The Great Lord had a flashback to what his half-brother had said to him in their battle a couple days before.
"Tetsusaiga was meant for me Sesshomaru! Never for you! The proof is that our old man's resting place is in me. Father would have never left something so powerful to a demon who would use it to kill humans, of which my mother was. He loved my mother, and had my sword forged to protect her and other humans from the likes of you! You may be able to use tetsusaiga if you find a magic powerful enough to charm the sword, but you will never be able to use it as I use it - you will never be able to unleash its' true power! That's because all you can protect is your land!"
If InuYasha were the tree, then the branches would be his companions. They relied on him to provide the base of their safety. "Despite the hanyou's shortcomings, he had protected his followers quite well." Sesshomaru was the moon in many ways. He ruled the night, however, unlike the moon, he did not need a sun to shine. "That girl is InuYasha's sun. He became a different character when her life was at stake. Perhaps she is the source of his power and the reason that he was able to overcome this Sesshomaru in our most recent battle…" In the same way that that wench was a source of light to InuYasha as the moon, she is also a source of nourishment and protection for the tree as the leaves. "So brittle and intricate. No matter what the leaves provide for the tree, the leaves cannot leave without the tree and the tree cannot live without the leaves. What if InuYasha was aware of this, and by giving the fight everything he had, he was also vying for his life?"
'Interesting theory I must say.'
That damned voice again. His increased anger made his blood boil more and his youki cry out for blood. He needed to relieve some of this stress, or else he would not be able to control himself with as much ease as he was used to.
The flawless features and wind-swayed silver hair looked down on those pathetic, dirty creatures again only to see his half-brother run away from his followers. "Peculiar since he had stayed side by side to that human girl since I had revived her. Does he not 'care' about her safety any longer?" 'If the hanyou came back to three corpses, surely that would send him into insanity…' There was nothing more in the world that delighted the Lord of the Western Lands as much as humiliating and causing that insect pain and anguish. This Sesshomaru, however, was a demon of honor. He would leave the humans, for now. Knowing that he had dominion over InuYasha in both supreme ability and by the hanyou's own word, he was satisfied for the time being. He could cause that bastard suffering anytime and have him take it willingly because of his blind sense of pride.
Seeing that there was no longer a reason to be in that tree and the tree didn't need to live, just like a certain soon to be dead hanyou, Sesshomaru unleashed his burdening anger onto this miscalculation of nature. He plunged his poison fist straight through it, picturing InuYasha's head. The tree instantly began to show its' own demise as soon as Sesshomaru touched the bark. He then spun around and with his poison claws and whip, shredded the trunk into little pieces. One solitary leaf was left to float back down to the earth, but the leaf would never reach the ground, for it disappeared into thin air after being cut in perfect two, with Sesshomaru's poison whip. "The leaf cannot survive without the tree anyway – what is the point in letting it wither?"
The golden-eyed demon had accomplished what he set out to do. The current situation of his subjects was ascertained. This Sesshomaru released pent up anger, and had a chance to clear his mind. The skies, the wind and his cloud returned him at the speed of sound to his domain.
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When InuYasha was leaving, Kagome stared blankly at his receding form. 'I couldn't have hurt him with what I said, could I have?' She remembered that they had kissed, and he confessed to her, and she confessed to him, it was possible then what she said hurt him deep down. 'He may have said those things, but there is no way that he could have meant them. He was just trying to comfort me in a way. No. InuYasha will always love Kikyo. This was not the first time I saw them together like this,' she bitterly thought to herself. The only real reason for her bitterness was fact that in spite of how the hanyou would treat her, and her love would go unrequited, she continued to love him.
Perhaps she didn't want to believe it because she did not want to let herself open to be hurt, or betrayed. Luckily he must have read her mind and did not include that in the narrative that Sango and Miroku had requested. 'Then again, he probably did not let on that anything had happened since odds are, nothing did, and it was all just a dream to me. A dream with some wishful thinking…'
"Kagome-chan, is what InuYasha said true? I can't believe how close we came to losing you. If InuYasha hadn't been willing to die for the chance to make Sesshomaru revive you with Tenseiga, then-" Sango started to cry when she thought about losing the person who was a sister to her. She couldn't handle anyone else close to her dying. Kagome hugged her friend trying to reassure her that she really was there and there was no reason to be upset anymore. Miroku stood silently to the side of his love and his friend wondering what on earth had really happened to them…
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Nightfall had come sooner than it usually seems to. InuYasha did not have to worry about the night, if anything; the night had to fear him. He was more powerful then most full blooded youkai. He had his own lands, granted not as vast as his full youkai blooded aristocratic brother of his. 'Stupid Sesshomaru….if only that were the case. Sesshomaru is better than me in every respect. Better in battle, better at protecting those near him, hell, even if they die he can revive them. He is better looking and doesn't have these giveaway dog ears that I have.' InuYasha let out a heavy sigh. It was hard to make him depressed since he had fought discrimination all his life. Even when he was sealed he still had to deal with the humiliation.
Sesshomaru had the most coveted title in all of the lands. The Western lands were the most vast and bountiful. They were not ridden with drought or too much rain or too harsh heat or cold. The Western palaces were so large you could spend days trying to find your way out. InuYasha had a palace that he rarely went to, even before he met Kikyo. He could never really be comfortable there. InuYasha, no matter how he looked, was still second in line to the Western Lands. His title was never used and never mentioned, although he was the Duke of the Western Lands. He never wanted to be called InuYasha-sama or referred to as Duke InuYasha. Titles and traditions made more sense with his Lord of a brother, Sesshomaru-sama, as Sesshomaru always had to be called. 'That prick.'
The hanyou did not want to get angry at things such as titles. But it was that Sesshomaru used his title to degrade him that really caused his blood to boil. 'Sesshomaru was always father's favorite. Why wouldn't he be? Sesshomaru was the heir after all.' There is nothing that InuYasha liked less than thinking about what he did not have. That would really drag him down. Life wasn't so bad after all, he was strong, he could defend himself. He actually had friends instead of people who feared him that followed him around. He had Kagome-
'Kagome…' He couldn't really say that he had Kagome anymore, could he? 'I am such fool. I finally meet a girl who loves me for everything that I am. Kikyo might have loved me, but she never loved all of me. She wanted to use me, by becoming fully human she wouldn't need to guard the Shikon anymore. She would have never sealed me to that damned tree. She wouldn't have been so easily fooled by Naraku, then again, neither would I…-' InuYasha sighed. He did not know what was worse, facing his brother again in a battle or facing Kagome after he failed to protect her and got caught in the arms of his former lover. 'Lover, eh? Feh.'
'I hope that Kagome is alright. Well, she has Sango and Miroku. Even Shippou, he may be small, but he did a number on me when we first met with that damned fox magic.' Miroku could be a double-edged sword. He may be able to protect Kagome, but a lecher is a lecher, monk or not. Well, Sango would protect Kagome from Miroku. 'Why am I becoming restless? Damnit. I still want to be near her, even if it isn't necessary for her protection. For the past couple of years I have watched her sleep. It is the most calming moment of my day.'
"Oh Kami-sama, what have I done! Why am I such a fool. I am no idiot, but I am a damned fool! Shit. Why do I hurt Kagome? What in the hell is wrong with me?!"
"Perhaps you know that you are inadequate, little brother….."
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Review and let me know what you think! Is Sesshomaru-sama going to tell InuYasha what his debt is? Find out in the next chapter!
