It was a story so heart wrenching, so sorrowful, Logan guessed it
could have come straight from a storybook. Slight tears forming in the
corners of Helena's eyes, however, betrayed that assumption. Logan shifted
his weight awkwardly, averting his gaze from Helena's soon-to-be-
tearstained face. He hadn't been prepared for such a display of emotion.
Helena herself, also feeling the awkwardness of the moment, had too not
been ready. It was, on the other hand, a great injustice, she felt, to not
tell the story. Once she began, it was difficult to finish.
"Sorry that happened to your friend," were the only words Logan could manage to muster up.
"Well, Helena told him matter-of-factly, "I'm learning to deal with it."
They stood there for a few more minutes in silence. Helena asked him if he might like to continue talking in the comfort and privacy of her room. Logan accepted, but as they approached her bedroom, hesitated.
"Isn't this kind of weird? I mean, you've only JUST graduated. You're basically still a student."
Helena shook her head. She wasn't going to be alone after telling that story. "I really DON'T mind." Her tone was demanding, yet charming. Logan could see she was trying desperately to come out of her shell.
Her room was scattered with clothing, music magazines, and posters of bands Logan had never heard of. "I think this is messier than MY room," he observed, laughing.
"Just clear some stuff off that chair and throw it on the floor, if you want to sit down," Helena remarked as she herself chose to lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. It felt weird having him here. Not necessarily a bad kind of weird, though. Companionship was something she did truly long for these days. It just felt so untrue to Donny.
An interesting notion had entered her head. "If you're as bad as they say you are, tell me, what's the worst thing you've EVER done?"
Logan smirked, thinking for a minute before saying, "I was at this bar.ten years ago? Some drunk ass there figured he didn't like my kind in 'his' bar. You probably know how it goes. He tried to rough me up so I roughed him up a bit, put him in the hospital. Not for long, though. Why, angel, what's the worst thing you've ever done?"
Helena stopped breathing, stopped thinking for a moment. She had made a mistake inviting him here. She knew it.
Angel. Someone else had called her that once before. "You always were the little angel," Donny would tell her, affectionately, when she backed out of doing some insidious deed.
"I used to be an angel, once." Helena told him, sitting up to face him for the first time since they entered her room. "I always tried to be the voice of reason. With my friends, family, with everyone. But this one time something happened that made me realize for the first time I had a dark side."
Logan was intrigued. He moved to the bed, sitting close to her. "You're lying," he told her softly. "The things you're saying, they're too masterful to be truth."
"Well they ARE truth," she insisted. "There were these kids. They called themselves Nazis, but I really don't think they knew ANYTHING about being one. Donny was Jewish. And I was always pretty protective of him. And anyway, they DESERVED to have their meeting house burnt to the ground."
"You burnt their house down!" He exclaimed, eyes wide with wonder and excitement. A playful smile spread quickly across his face.
"Not their house," she corrected him. "their meeting house. It really was just some shack in one of their backyards. I broke in a few times to make sure there weren't any animals. I didn't want to hurt anyone, just get my point across."
"Oh, girl. You're still an angel to me. Even then you were trying to look out for people.or animals. You're not fooling me!" He paused before saying anything further. He had handled rejection before. He had never cared enough to take it to heart. This time, something that he couldn't quite place was different. He tried his best to find the right words. "What would you say if I kissed you right now?"
Silence. She said nothing. She wouldn't even look at him. "Really. I want to, but not if you don't want me to."
Still nothing. Why did she refuse to look at him? He silently prayed that she would at least look at him, so he might have some sort of idea what she was thinking.
Her head lifted, nodding yes for him to continue doing what he wanted. He seemed to be delighted. She closed her eyes. She had kissed boys before, but never was it magical like described in the movies. "I'm waiting for the eruption of emotion they tell me is supposed to happen in all the romance books." She disclosed to him. Two warm-wet lips touched her cheek briefly, then it was over.
"Why won't you look at me?" Logan asked.
"I have to sleep for a bit." She told him. "Talk to you later."
He got up to leave, utterly confused. "You know where my room's at," he told her. "Maybe after you've slept awhile you could come visit me."
Then he left. Helena was by herself, wanting to throw up. Something felt odd. The magical feeling that she had been counting on never came. Hastily getting under the protective covering of her blanket, she laid her head on her pillow. Tears cascaded from her eyes. That night she was crying for every pain that had ever been inflicted upon her.
"Sorry that happened to your friend," were the only words Logan could manage to muster up.
"Well, Helena told him matter-of-factly, "I'm learning to deal with it."
They stood there for a few more minutes in silence. Helena asked him if he might like to continue talking in the comfort and privacy of her room. Logan accepted, but as they approached her bedroom, hesitated.
"Isn't this kind of weird? I mean, you've only JUST graduated. You're basically still a student."
Helena shook her head. She wasn't going to be alone after telling that story. "I really DON'T mind." Her tone was demanding, yet charming. Logan could see she was trying desperately to come out of her shell.
Her room was scattered with clothing, music magazines, and posters of bands Logan had never heard of. "I think this is messier than MY room," he observed, laughing.
"Just clear some stuff off that chair and throw it on the floor, if you want to sit down," Helena remarked as she herself chose to lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. It felt weird having him here. Not necessarily a bad kind of weird, though. Companionship was something she did truly long for these days. It just felt so untrue to Donny.
An interesting notion had entered her head. "If you're as bad as they say you are, tell me, what's the worst thing you've EVER done?"
Logan smirked, thinking for a minute before saying, "I was at this bar.ten years ago? Some drunk ass there figured he didn't like my kind in 'his' bar. You probably know how it goes. He tried to rough me up so I roughed him up a bit, put him in the hospital. Not for long, though. Why, angel, what's the worst thing you've ever done?"
Helena stopped breathing, stopped thinking for a moment. She had made a mistake inviting him here. She knew it.
Angel. Someone else had called her that once before. "You always were the little angel," Donny would tell her, affectionately, when she backed out of doing some insidious deed.
"I used to be an angel, once." Helena told him, sitting up to face him for the first time since they entered her room. "I always tried to be the voice of reason. With my friends, family, with everyone. But this one time something happened that made me realize for the first time I had a dark side."
Logan was intrigued. He moved to the bed, sitting close to her. "You're lying," he told her softly. "The things you're saying, they're too masterful to be truth."
"Well they ARE truth," she insisted. "There were these kids. They called themselves Nazis, but I really don't think they knew ANYTHING about being one. Donny was Jewish. And I was always pretty protective of him. And anyway, they DESERVED to have their meeting house burnt to the ground."
"You burnt their house down!" He exclaimed, eyes wide with wonder and excitement. A playful smile spread quickly across his face.
"Not their house," she corrected him. "their meeting house. It really was just some shack in one of their backyards. I broke in a few times to make sure there weren't any animals. I didn't want to hurt anyone, just get my point across."
"Oh, girl. You're still an angel to me. Even then you were trying to look out for people.or animals. You're not fooling me!" He paused before saying anything further. He had handled rejection before. He had never cared enough to take it to heart. This time, something that he couldn't quite place was different. He tried his best to find the right words. "What would you say if I kissed you right now?"
Silence. She said nothing. She wouldn't even look at him. "Really. I want to, but not if you don't want me to."
Still nothing. Why did she refuse to look at him? He silently prayed that she would at least look at him, so he might have some sort of idea what she was thinking.
Her head lifted, nodding yes for him to continue doing what he wanted. He seemed to be delighted. She closed her eyes. She had kissed boys before, but never was it magical like described in the movies. "I'm waiting for the eruption of emotion they tell me is supposed to happen in all the romance books." She disclosed to him. Two warm-wet lips touched her cheek briefly, then it was over.
"Why won't you look at me?" Logan asked.
"I have to sleep for a bit." She told him. "Talk to you later."
He got up to leave, utterly confused. "You know where my room's at," he told her. "Maybe after you've slept awhile you could come visit me."
Then he left. Helena was by herself, wanting to throw up. Something felt odd. The magical feeling that she had been counting on never came. Hastily getting under the protective covering of her blanket, she laid her head on her pillow. Tears cascaded from her eyes. That night she was crying for every pain that had ever been inflicted upon her.
