*RedMetalCross*
Here is Part II. I promise it will be as sicker and more twisted than the first part.
THE MAURY SHOW
Topic: " Mommy, Who Is My Daddy?" Part II
(The camera flicks back on. Maury is seen taking a couple of aspirin. He notices the camera and smiles.)
MAURY: " Welcome back everyone. I do have to say that our first segment was crazy. I have never seen so much profanity thrown around before in my life. Well, maybe when I visit my mother-in-law but that's a different story."
(The audience laughs.)
MAURY: " Now, our next guest is just a little girl. (The audience gasps.) Yes, only a little girl. This girl has a problem. Ten months ago, she had a baby. Her fiance believes that the baby is his but our she has different ideas. Let's meet her and get more out of this story. Everyone, welcome Saria!"
(The audience claps. Maury greets Saria and walks her to the seat. He sits next to her and stares at her.)
MAURY: " When I said little girl, I meant it. How old are you Saria?"
SARIA: " Seventeen years old."
MAURY: (Laughs.) " But you don't look like it. You look to be ten."
SARIA: " I know. You see, I come from the Kokori Forest and all the inhabitants look like children. We age chronologically but not physically."
MAURY: " Oh. Anyway, tell us about your problem."
SARIA: (She blushes.) " Well, I have been with my fiance Mido for seven years now. Our relationship was great but there was one mess up along the road."
MAURY: " What was that?"
SARIA: " Maury, you see, Mido and I got in a fight almost a year ago about attending to Link's wedding. I wanted to go but Mido didn't. The fight was so bad that I left the house and spent the night at the Know-It-All Brothers house. And that is where things got hairy..."
MAURY: " How so Saria?"
SARIA: " Well...the brothers and I kind of got drunk and we kind of had...fun together."
MAURY: (A shocked look on his face.) No! Don't tell me you slept with one of them."
SARIA: " Worse. I had slept with all three of them..."
(Saria breaks down crying. Maury hands her a tissue box. The audience feels sorry for the girl.)
MAURY: " How did Mido take all this?"
SARIA: " He...sniff...was angry. He told me that he would forgive me because it was partly his fault. But when he found out that I was pregnant with my little girl, Sage, he left. He's convinced that the baby isn't his."
MAURY: " I think he has good reason."
SARIA: " I really do think the baby is his. I mean, when I was with the Know-It-All brothers, the most I remember doing was sucking them off and taking a couple of cum shots to the face."
MAURY: (He laughs again. He can't believe what his show has been reduced to.) " But that is what you remember. For all you know, there could have been some double penetration or something else like that."
SARIA: " I don't know. Maybe..."
MAURY: " Okay. First, we are going to bring out Saria's fiance, Mido. We asked him about the baby possbily being his. Here are his reactions."
(The television behind them turns back on. Mido is on the screen.)
MIDO: " I seriously hope to God that this baby is mine. I love Saria with all my heart and finding out that she slept with those three Know-It-All brothers was devastating. If the baby is mine, I'll fully forgive Saria and we will live on to have a happy family. If the baby isn't mine then Saria can go to hell!"
(The screen turns back off. The audience feels the sting of Mido's words. Maury gets up and walks to the steps.)
MAURY: " Okay. Please welcome, Mido!"
(Mido comes down the steps and shake Maury's hand. Like Saria, he also looks like he belongs in grade school.Mido sits next to Saria.)
MAURY: " Welcome to the show Mido. How are things?"
MIDO: " Pretty good. It's great to be here. At least I can find out who the Father of little Sage is."
MAURY: " Yes. But Mido, Saria has been saying that she still wants to be with you. And that she really does think that you are the Father. And you seem to be in love with her."
MIDO: " I am. I love Saria to death. I loved her even before Link began his journey to save Hyrule. I really do hope that this baby is mine."
(The audience is touched by Mido's comments. Maury isn't really impressed. How many times has he heard that?)
MAURY: " But there is one more part to this equation. The Know-It-All Brothers. They are here as well. They spoke briefly about the possiblity of one of them fathering a child."
(The television flicked back on. The three brothers were standing there. Each with looks of anger on their faces.)
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " You know Saria? You need to stop being a fucking little slut and go the fuck home! I mean, you were sucking so much dick that night I didn't even know if you accidently gave a blowjob to the Deku Sprout or not? You were all over the place!"
SECOND KIA BROTHER: " Saria, the odds of one of us being the Father are slim to none. You slept with every motherfucker in the forest. I even saw a Wolfo banging you from behind that night so don't fucking lie. I'm surprised little Sage turned out to look human."
THIRD KIA BROTHER: " I'm sorry, Saria. Sorry that you give the worst head on this side of the forest! I might have as well went to a fucking skull kid if I wanted pathetic head. I want my ten rupees back, bitch!"
(The screen went off. Saria cried even harder. Mido held back a laugh.)
THE AUDIENCE: " Ewwww!"
MAURY: " Okay, I think we lost our status as a family show. Where the hell are those censors. Bring out the Know-It-All Brothers!"
(The brothers come down the steps and sit in their chairs across the stage from Saria and Mido. The brothers laugh at Saria.)
MAURY: " Know-It-All Brothers! I see that you don't think that you aren't the Father of little Sage."
THIRD KIA BROTHER: " Damn right! That bitch can't suck cock for shit! How the hell can you expect one of us to be the Dad?!"
SECOND KIA BROTHER: " Maury, we all know that Saria is Hyrule's personal slut. God knows who the Father is of poor Sage. If it is even human! There have been rumors of Saria going up to Death Mountain to do favors for Darunia. Plus, I saw a Zora go to her house one night when Mido was out."
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " Saria has been fucked by some many people, it is not even funny anymore. I mean, Maury, you probably banged Saria but was so disgusted that you made yourself forget about the experience. And that's understandable because fucking her pussy is like fucking a wet paper bag."
MAURY: " Hmmm. There was that time a while ago, I wandered into the forest drunk and met a green-haired little girl. I don't remember what happened though."
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " Don't worry, Maury. Saria is so pathetic in bed that I think it's best that you don't remember."
MAURY: " Mido. Are you going to let them talk about Saria like that? She's crying."
MIDO: (He shrugs his shoulders.) " I just want to see the result of the paternity tests."
MAURY: " Fine. (He picks up the envelope.) Here are the results. I'm going to make this quick. Any longer and Saria won't be known as the Sage of the Forest anymore but Sage of the Brothel."
(Maury carefully reads the paper.)
MAURY: " Okay, I'm going to start with the Know-It-All Brothers. You there."
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " Me?"
Maury: " Yeah. According to the results, when it comes to little ten month Sage....you are NOT the Father."
FIRST KIA BORTHER: " Yes! I told you bitch! I told your slutty ass!" (He jumps up and does a weird dance.)
MAURY: " This is for the second brother. When it comes to little Sage, you are NOT the Father!"
SECOND KIA BROTHER: " Of course I'm not! I didn't need this test to tell me this!" (He high fives the first brother.)
MAURY: " Now, the final brother. When it comes to Sage, you are NOT the Father!"
THIRD KIA BROTHER: " I could have told you that. All I did with Saria is allow her to give me oral sex. Which reminds me...where's my ten rupees bitch?!"
MAURY: " This just leaves Mido. How are you feeling Mido?"
MIDO: (A smile is slowly tugging on his face.) " I...I feel good. I'm the daddy of this baby. Me and Saria! Together forever!"
MAURY: " Wait a minute. I'm going to read the results first. Just to make sure."
SARIA: " Um...Maury. You don't have to. It's clear that Mido is the father of Sage."
MAURY: " Nonsense. The audience wants to make it official. Right?"
THE AUDIENCE: " Yeah!"
MAURY: " Okay. Here it goes. (He read the paper.) Mido, when it comes to little Sage....you are...NOT the Father!"
MIDO: " What?! How the fuck could this happen!" (He looks at Saria.) You little slut! I can't believe it! I hate you! I don't want to see your slutty ass again!"
SARIA: " Mido! Don't leave! I'm sorry. Please forgive me!"
(Mido storms off stage with the KIA Brothers. Saria is left there alone. Maury gives her a little hug.)
MAURY: " Saria, is there anyone else who could possibly be the Dad?"
SARIA: " Yes...sniff."
MAURY: " Who?"
SARIA: " Link..."
MAURY: " Everything will be fine. We are going to get this Link and have him take the test, okay? (He lets go of Saria and gets up to face the camera.) Don't go away as our third guest will be on after the break."
(Camera is off.)
Here is Part II. I promise it will be as sicker and more twisted than the first part.
THE MAURY SHOW
Topic: " Mommy, Who Is My Daddy?" Part II
(The camera flicks back on. Maury is seen taking a couple of aspirin. He notices the camera and smiles.)
MAURY: " Welcome back everyone. I do have to say that our first segment was crazy. I have never seen so much profanity thrown around before in my life. Well, maybe when I visit my mother-in-law but that's a different story."
(The audience laughs.)
MAURY: " Now, our next guest is just a little girl. (The audience gasps.) Yes, only a little girl. This girl has a problem. Ten months ago, she had a baby. Her fiance believes that the baby is his but our she has different ideas. Let's meet her and get more out of this story. Everyone, welcome Saria!"
(The audience claps. Maury greets Saria and walks her to the seat. He sits next to her and stares at her.)
MAURY: " When I said little girl, I meant it. How old are you Saria?"
SARIA: " Seventeen years old."
MAURY: (Laughs.) " But you don't look like it. You look to be ten."
SARIA: " I know. You see, I come from the Kokori Forest and all the inhabitants look like children. We age chronologically but not physically."
MAURY: " Oh. Anyway, tell us about your problem."
SARIA: (She blushes.) " Well, I have been with my fiance Mido for seven years now. Our relationship was great but there was one mess up along the road."
MAURY: " What was that?"
SARIA: " Maury, you see, Mido and I got in a fight almost a year ago about attending to Link's wedding. I wanted to go but Mido didn't. The fight was so bad that I left the house and spent the night at the Know-It-All Brothers house. And that is where things got hairy..."
MAURY: " How so Saria?"
SARIA: " Well...the brothers and I kind of got drunk and we kind of had...fun together."
MAURY: (A shocked look on his face.) No! Don't tell me you slept with one of them."
SARIA: " Worse. I had slept with all three of them..."
(Saria breaks down crying. Maury hands her a tissue box. The audience feels sorry for the girl.)
MAURY: " How did Mido take all this?"
SARIA: " He...sniff...was angry. He told me that he would forgive me because it was partly his fault. But when he found out that I was pregnant with my little girl, Sage, he left. He's convinced that the baby isn't his."
MAURY: " I think he has good reason."
SARIA: " I really do think the baby is his. I mean, when I was with the Know-It-All brothers, the most I remember doing was sucking them off and taking a couple of cum shots to the face."
MAURY: (He laughs again. He can't believe what his show has been reduced to.) " But that is what you remember. For all you know, there could have been some double penetration or something else like that."
SARIA: " I don't know. Maybe..."
MAURY: " Okay. First, we are going to bring out Saria's fiance, Mido. We asked him about the baby possbily being his. Here are his reactions."
(The television behind them turns back on. Mido is on the screen.)
MIDO: " I seriously hope to God that this baby is mine. I love Saria with all my heart and finding out that she slept with those three Know-It-All brothers was devastating. If the baby is mine, I'll fully forgive Saria and we will live on to have a happy family. If the baby isn't mine then Saria can go to hell!"
(The screen turns back off. The audience feels the sting of Mido's words. Maury gets up and walks to the steps.)
MAURY: " Okay. Please welcome, Mido!"
(Mido comes down the steps and shake Maury's hand. Like Saria, he also looks like he belongs in grade school.Mido sits next to Saria.)
MAURY: " Welcome to the show Mido. How are things?"
MIDO: " Pretty good. It's great to be here. At least I can find out who the Father of little Sage is."
MAURY: " Yes. But Mido, Saria has been saying that she still wants to be with you. And that she really does think that you are the Father. And you seem to be in love with her."
MIDO: " I am. I love Saria to death. I loved her even before Link began his journey to save Hyrule. I really do hope that this baby is mine."
(The audience is touched by Mido's comments. Maury isn't really impressed. How many times has he heard that?)
MAURY: " But there is one more part to this equation. The Know-It-All Brothers. They are here as well. They spoke briefly about the possiblity of one of them fathering a child."
(The television flicked back on. The three brothers were standing there. Each with looks of anger on their faces.)
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " You know Saria? You need to stop being a fucking little slut and go the fuck home! I mean, you were sucking so much dick that night I didn't even know if you accidently gave a blowjob to the Deku Sprout or not? You were all over the place!"
SECOND KIA BROTHER: " Saria, the odds of one of us being the Father are slim to none. You slept with every motherfucker in the forest. I even saw a Wolfo banging you from behind that night so don't fucking lie. I'm surprised little Sage turned out to look human."
THIRD KIA BROTHER: " I'm sorry, Saria. Sorry that you give the worst head on this side of the forest! I might have as well went to a fucking skull kid if I wanted pathetic head. I want my ten rupees back, bitch!"
(The screen went off. Saria cried even harder. Mido held back a laugh.)
THE AUDIENCE: " Ewwww!"
MAURY: " Okay, I think we lost our status as a family show. Where the hell are those censors. Bring out the Know-It-All Brothers!"
(The brothers come down the steps and sit in their chairs across the stage from Saria and Mido. The brothers laugh at Saria.)
MAURY: " Know-It-All Brothers! I see that you don't think that you aren't the Father of little Sage."
THIRD KIA BROTHER: " Damn right! That bitch can't suck cock for shit! How the hell can you expect one of us to be the Dad?!"
SECOND KIA BROTHER: " Maury, we all know that Saria is Hyrule's personal slut. God knows who the Father is of poor Sage. If it is even human! There have been rumors of Saria going up to Death Mountain to do favors for Darunia. Plus, I saw a Zora go to her house one night when Mido was out."
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " Saria has been fucked by some many people, it is not even funny anymore. I mean, Maury, you probably banged Saria but was so disgusted that you made yourself forget about the experience. And that's understandable because fucking her pussy is like fucking a wet paper bag."
MAURY: " Hmmm. There was that time a while ago, I wandered into the forest drunk and met a green-haired little girl. I don't remember what happened though."
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " Don't worry, Maury. Saria is so pathetic in bed that I think it's best that you don't remember."
MAURY: " Mido. Are you going to let them talk about Saria like that? She's crying."
MIDO: (He shrugs his shoulders.) " I just want to see the result of the paternity tests."
MAURY: " Fine. (He picks up the envelope.) Here are the results. I'm going to make this quick. Any longer and Saria won't be known as the Sage of the Forest anymore but Sage of the Brothel."
(Maury carefully reads the paper.)
MAURY: " Okay, I'm going to start with the Know-It-All Brothers. You there."
FIRST KIA BROTHER: " Me?"
Maury: " Yeah. According to the results, when it comes to little ten month Sage....you are NOT the Father."
FIRST KIA BORTHER: " Yes! I told you bitch! I told your slutty ass!" (He jumps up and does a weird dance.)
MAURY: " This is for the second brother. When it comes to little Sage, you are NOT the Father!"
SECOND KIA BROTHER: " Of course I'm not! I didn't need this test to tell me this!" (He high fives the first brother.)
MAURY: " Now, the final brother. When it comes to Sage, you are NOT the Father!"
THIRD KIA BROTHER: " I could have told you that. All I did with Saria is allow her to give me oral sex. Which reminds me...where's my ten rupees bitch?!"
MAURY: " This just leaves Mido. How are you feeling Mido?"
MIDO: (A smile is slowly tugging on his face.) " I...I feel good. I'm the daddy of this baby. Me and Saria! Together forever!"
MAURY: " Wait a minute. I'm going to read the results first. Just to make sure."
SARIA: " Um...Maury. You don't have to. It's clear that Mido is the father of Sage."
MAURY: " Nonsense. The audience wants to make it official. Right?"
THE AUDIENCE: " Yeah!"
MAURY: " Okay. Here it goes. (He read the paper.) Mido, when it comes to little Sage....you are...NOT the Father!"
MIDO: " What?! How the fuck could this happen!" (He looks at Saria.) You little slut! I can't believe it! I hate you! I don't want to see your slutty ass again!"
SARIA: " Mido! Don't leave! I'm sorry. Please forgive me!"
(Mido storms off stage with the KIA Brothers. Saria is left there alone. Maury gives her a little hug.)
MAURY: " Saria, is there anyone else who could possibly be the Dad?"
SARIA: " Yes...sniff."
MAURY: " Who?"
SARIA: " Link..."
MAURY: " Everything will be fine. We are going to get this Link and have him take the test, okay? (He lets go of Saria and gets up to face the camera.) Don't go away as our third guest will be on after the break."
(Camera is off.)
