Author:  KellBell

Rating: PG

Disclaimer:  No, I do not own the characters in this story.  They belong to the amazing writers and creators of the television show CSI.  *sniff* So stop rubbing it in, ok!?  Hehe.

Dealing: Chapter Four

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"I asked Grissom on a date."  Sara blurted out.

            Nick's face scrunched together.  "What?"

            There was a moment's pause while Nick digested Sara's statement.  So Warrick was right.  Apparently, the rumors were true.  Finally, when he looked up at Sara, he couldn't help but smile, not a genuine smile, but a nervous, awkward half-smile.  As soon as Sara saw his reaction she wanted to take the words back.  As if I'm not already humiliated enough, Sara thought. 

            "So….you, uh, asked him on a date this morning?" 

            "Not this morning."  She spoke dryly.  "The other day."  Sara formed clenched fists as she turned to head over to the building.  Nick wasn't sure how to respond.

            "Wha—why did you ask him out?"  Nick stumbled over his words, hands fidgety at his sides.

            Sara turned again and eyed him gravely, one hand resting on her hip.

            "I mean," Nick waved his hand around, as if to erase his previous question.  "You like Grissom?"

            Sara glanced past Nick, looking up at the blue skies, shaking her head.  "I shouldn't even have brought it up.  It was clearly a mistake."

            "What, you asking him out or you telling me that you did?"  Nick watched Sara bite her lip.

            "Both."  She stated, matter-of-factly.  Nick nodded, trying to disguise the relief that had washed over him when she admitted asking Grissom out was a mistake, at the same time, hurt that she wanted to keep it from him.

            Sara asked herself why she felt the need to tell Nick in the first place.  What had made her blurt that out of nowhere?  The way he spoke to you, Sara reminded herself.  He sounded so confused and hurt by the wall Sara was building up around her lately.  She had to say something to let him know that she didn't want him to give up on her.  So she told him.  She told him something she promised herself just this morning she would never bring up to anyone ever again.  And she was mad at herself all over again.

            Sara shrugged with a bit of embarrassment.  "It was a lapse of judgment.  A moment of insanity, if you will."

            Nick nodded again, assuming Grissom rejected her offer.  He looked up at Sara, who was standing at the bottom step of the stairs leading up to the lab.  Seeing her standing there, looking young and forlorn, made him realize just how vulnerable she actually was. 

            "What?"  Her firm voice interrupted his thoughts.  "What are you thinking?  You're not going to go telling anybody, because I swear if anybody finds out—,"

            "Uh," Nick held his hand up to cut her off.  He realized she wasn't aware of the supposed rumors circulating about the two of them already.  He decided it would be in his best interest not to mention any of that to her as of yet. "Calm down, Sara.  Gosh, I'd like to think you'd know me better than that.  You can trust me, you know." 

            Nick saw the worried look on Sara's face.  He decided it was time the mood be lightened.  "Besides," He began.  "I'd only tell Greg….and maybe Catherine….probably Robbins…"  His words trailed off with a cheesy grin on his face as he met Sara on the steps.  She rolled her eyes and began proceeding up the stairs.

            "C'mon, Sara.  I know there's a smile in there somewhere."  He pointed to her face.  "It never hurt anyone to smile, Sara."  He joked, one step behind her.  "Smile, smiles make the world go round."  He sang.  "Smi—,"

            Nick's voice caught suddenly as he lost his footing, tripping over the step, and plunged down before reaching the next stair.

            "Ahh…"  His hands caught his fall in front of him.  Sara spun around, wide-eyed.

            "Pfffhhhh!"  She burst out laughing.  "Oh my gosh!"  She held her hand up to her mouth but could not contain her wild laughter.  Nick pushed himself off the steps, red-faced, and wiped his dusty hands off on his jeans.

            "Glad I could be of some help."  He retorted, dryly.

            "Smile!"  Sara mock sang.  "Smiling makes the world go round!"  She danced the rest of the steps up, full of giggles. 

            "Alright, enough.  We've got a lot of work to do."  Nick pushed open the door to the building, holding it for Sara as she walked in, unable to hide the grin that crept over his face.  He was grinning partly because of his own clumsiness and foolishness.  But there was another reason for his sudden joy.

 He loved to hear Sara laugh. 

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            They had been there now for three hours straight, scrutinizing over the information collected from the case.  Sitting at a table in an otherwise empty office, they studied, debated, and hypothesized the murder of Connie Trevorson.  Nick was tapping on his notepad with the eraser end of his pencil.  Sara was looking at the police records of friends of the victim.

            "Alright...," Nick spoke up, looking up from his notepad.  "The hairs, they were the ex-husband's, the ripped material found on the victim's jacket was that of a torn silk button up, also belonging to Frank.  No sign of forced entry, no sexual battery, no major struggle, no known stolen items in the home.  Seems to me like Connie willingly let in the killer by way of front door, and was obviously caught off guard by 'em.  So it would probably be someone she knew, someone she wouldn't expect."

            "Like her husband."  Sara cut in, finishing Nick's thoughts.  "Nick, I see where you are going with this, but I just can't buy it."

            "Think about it…Frank comes over to, I don't know, kiss the kids goodnight," Nick was speaking intently, using his hands.  Sara rolled her eyes.  "Connie lets him in, because its, you know, her ex-husband."

            "Nick you seem to forget it was a nasty divorce.  Why would she just let her ex-husband right on in?  They hated each other."  Sara argued.

            Nick held up his hand to shush her.  "Let me finish.  Connie's talking to him, possibly arguing, and she's not facing him…Now, Franks still pissed off about her "I'm leaving with the kids for good" speech, and who knows, something she said that night probably set him off.  Before she knew what hit her--literally--he has slit her throat and taken a blow to her chest."

            "Wow, that's pathetic.  Good luck with that story in court."  Sara said.

            "I know."  Nick confessed, throwing his notepad down on the table.  "But we got nothing else.  I'm trying to make rational something here among all this stupid mess."  Nick whined, rubbing his eyes in tired frustration. 

            "Honestly, look at the facts, though."  Sara gazed at all her notes.  "Frank doesn't have a violent record….he was arrested once, for shoplifting when he was younger, about twenty years ago…"

            "Well, past cases prove that seemingly "good" people can be known to commit the most gruesome of murders."  Nick added.

            "Yeah, I know that.  But…" Sara let out a heavy sigh. "I just saw it, you know, the sadness in him when we were questioning him.  He just looked so sincere."  Sara recalled the man earlier that day.

            "Again…"  Nick started to give her the whole things-aren't-always-as-they-seem bit from before.

            "I know, I know."  Sara cut him short.

            "Plus he refuses the lie detector test."

            "Which doesn't necessarily mean anything…"

            "Except that he's guilty of something."  Nick smirked.

            "Yeah, BUT past cases have proven that not everyone who refuses the test is guilty of anything."  She retorted, a "so there" grin on her face. 

            "Well, one things for sure.  We need to find out who our "mystery man" is."  Nick said, reading over an interview from a co-worker of Connie's.  "Although many people claimed Connie went on plenty of dates with various guys, this lady said that Connie had on more than one occasion, dipped out on work early, leaving with some unidentified man."

            "Yeah, we need to find that guy."  Sara agreed. 

            After another fifteen minutes or so, Nick had just about had enough with the case.  At least for that evening anyway.  He glanced up at Sara.  She was still immersed in the files spread out randomly over the top of the table.  He watched her jot down a scribbled note and proceed to trace her forefinger back and forth across her bottom lip, the same movement that led to his continuous distraction in the car earlier that day.  Back….forth.      

Stop staring, Nick, he scolded himself and looked away.  Surely there were more interviews he could read at the moment.  He flipped through some papers on his lap and slowly his gaze, uncontrollably, wandered back up to Sara again.  Back….forth. 

            Her finger stopped.

            "Do I have something on my face?"  Sara self-consciously held her hand over her mouth when she saw Nick's stare.  Nick blinked, noticeably surprised and feely guilty, as if Sara were a teacher who just caught him looking onto some other kid's test.

            "Uh…you're good."  He nervously smiled and shot up from his chair.  "I've got to call it a night…I feel like I've been here forever."  He rubbed the back of his neck and then stretched, yawning.

            "C'mon, Sara."  Nick motioned his head toward the door.  "You look like you could use some sleep."

            Yeah, a dreamless sleep, which obviously isn't what I'll get, Sara thought.

            Sara sat there and pondered leaving, but felt compelled to work on the case longer.  Something drew her to the case…something that kept telling her that she was this close to finding something, to figuring something out.  She weighed her options, and working on the murder case of Connie Trevorson, whom she'd silently vowed to, promising justice, appealed to her a lot more than tossing and turning all night long, and ultimately not sleeping.  Sara had made her decision. 

            "Yeah, I'm gonna leave in a minute or two…I'll just straighten things up in here and I'll be done."  She lied, knowing that if she were to tell Nick she wasn't going home to sleep, that he'd become angry and concerned with her, and she didn't want to see those eyes again that night. 

            Nick, however, saw right through her.

            "No," he argued.  "You go on and go.  I'll finish gathering all the stuff together."  He said, knowing fully that if he gave her the opportunity to work on the case more, she'd definitely take it.  She looked as if she hadn't had a good sleep for awhile, and Nick knew that her well-being wasn't worth being jeopardized for the sake of a couple extra hours of lab work. 

            "Nick," Sara shook her head with desperate frustration, preparing for his backlash.  "I think I'm going to, you know, stay for a little while longer.  Its okay, really, I'm not tired."

            What is it that's keeping her from going home to sleep?  Nick pondered in aggravation.

            "You're joking me right?"  Nick sat back down and leaned forward towards Sara, arms resting on the table.  "Sara, you can't honestly tell me you are not tired.  You've got bags under your eyes for heaven's sake.  You need to go home, get some rest and refresh yourself for tomorrow."

            "I'm fine."  Sara balked.

            "Sara, do me a favor, and quit pretending like I was born yesterday." 

            Sara cleared her throat and ran her fingers through her hair.  Nick was visibly worried.  "Why aren't you sleeping?  You've been this wreck here around the lab lately, and honestly, you don't look fine.  What is it?  Is this whole thing with Grissom what's been keeping you here after hours?"

            "No."  Sara answered through gritted teeth.

            "If we are going to be partners on cases, then we need to learn to trust each other a little better, Sara.  Its give and take."

            If she told him that nightmares were keeping her awake at night…that the mere thought of falling asleep and waking up in a cold sweat tormented her, would it really make things easier for the both of them?  If she told him that random images spontaneously invaded her mind, leaving her breathless and jittery, would he think she was losing it totally? 

            The leather chair creaked as Sara leaned back in her seat.  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  When she looked at Nick, her eyes seemed dull, haunted.  She seemed so deeply troubled that Nick wanted to reach out across the table and take her hands, comforting her.  He held himself back, though, not wanting to upset her.

            "I've been having these dreams."  Sara spoke faintly and stared down at her folded hands.  "They are nightmares, really.  About the explosion."

            Nick intently listened.  Sara shook her head staring off at nothing.

            "I….I thought I was over it, you know, the whole explosion.  But I…well, the truth is, I probably am not."  Her voice cracked as she looked back down at her scarred hand.  Nick had no idea it had affected her that greatly. 

            Nick without hesitation reached over and rested his hand on her arm.  "Thank you."  He voice was soft, almost a whisper.  "For trusting me with that."  Nick knew it was hard for her to confide in people.  She never wanted anyone to see what she thought were her weaknesses.  Sara nodded slowly, glancing up at him. 

            "And promise me this, the next time you wake up from that dream, I want you to call me.  Anytime.  I don't care if it's four in the morning."                                                                       

            Sara sheepishly smiled.  She knew his statement was well-intentioned but reminded herself that the dreams still weren't going to go away easily, along with the visions and the state of panic she was becoming accustomed to.  It was eerily comforting though, Sara considered, how much better it felt just to let him know about her dreams.

            Nick squeezed her arm before letting go.  It didn't seem like much, but that gesture gave Sara a brush of warmth that spread through her entire body, flushing her cheeks. 

            "I'll be alright."  Sara tried to convince herself.

            "I know.  You will be."  Nick replied and Sara looked up at him, a little startled at his certainty.  As she studied him, she realized something.  He was wholeheartedly there for her, listening to her, not jumping to conclusions, not claiming he had the answer to her problems, not reacting by assuming she's crossed over the realm of sanity.  He was being everything she needed him to be at that moment.  He was….well, he was Nick.  And that was perfect.

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Author's Note:  I wasn't planning on ending the chapter here at first, but I thought I'd let y'all digest that chapter, before throwing in more scenes and making chapter four longer than all the others combined…so please read and reply and as always, more to come! Oh and by the way, because this is my first fanfiction, please let me know what you think about the length of each chapter.  Is it long enough?  Is it too short?  E-mail me or respond on the reviews please!  Thanks again, to all you wonderful folks! *smiles*