3. Beginning of the End
January 11, 1880
My thoughts are running rampant this morning. Despite my foolish behaviour at the theatre last night, I have received a post inviting me to a musicale at my dearest Cecily's home. My heart is overjoyed at the prospect of such an invitation. I shall have to compose a verse just to honor my love and this occasion. Not that I do not compose such verses or my love at all times, but today my joy engulfs me.
I shall win her tonight. I will swoop in with my lyrical grace and my words shall astound her so that she is weak in the knees and she shall fall into my arms faint, but I shall revive her with the gentlest and most tender of kisses. Yes, I suppose it will go something like that.
There is a shortness to this note but I must prepare myself. I must be the perfectly trimmed knight for my ethereal princess this evening. ~William
~Of the Beginning~
~Interlude~
Willow closed the almost completely empty notebook. Why had William moved on to another one after filling only a few pages of the first? That didn't really make all that much sense. Willow's heart went out to the mortal Spike had once been. Unrequited love just plain stank like big smelly socks. And no matter what he was still so optimistic that he would win her affections.
She could see bits of William and Spike. Every so often some of the most beautiful words would flow from the normally brash blonde's mouth and make Willow melt. He certainly had a way with words, no matter what version of himself he was being.
Eager to figure out the mystery of why the first journal stopped so abruptly, Willow picked up the next book. She immediately figured it out. Young William had died.
~End Interlude~
January 26, 1880
Forgive me for not writing later that night as promised. Might we just say that my plan didn't go exactly the way I had thought it would. Well, I must be completely honest and say my plan was a complete failure, but I gained from the outcome just the same. Made out like a bandit, I did.
Fifteen nights ago my life completely changed. I see now how much of a blind fool I was. It's no wonder I was the laughing stock of society. I look upon my actions now and completely agree with the people I hate. A right pounce I was. I am bound and determined to turn myself around, now that I have this second chance at life.
And those that mocked me will never know what hit them. I've got good plans for the lot of them. If Angelus will let me out of his sight long enough to take care of them.
I suppose I should say exactly how my life completely changed, for memories sake. Well, I've become a vampire. Yes, the fairy tales all seem to be true, and I've joined the ranks of the creatures of the night.
You see, I went to that party with my plans and my heart on my sleeve. All that I found there was humiliation. It stuck me to the core. She said I was beneath her. My poor heart just couldn't take it. I have always had a flair for words, but I can think of none, even now, that can describe what I felt. The love of my life pushed me into the waiting arms of death.
And what a death it was. If Cecily was the love of my life, then Drusilla is the love of my death. If my heart was still beating, it would beat for my dark goddess, but it was my dark goddess that took that heartbeat away along with the blinders that had been shielding me from the way things were.
Drusilla took the pathetic weeping mass that was me, and made it possible for me to start anew. She was the first thing I laid my eyes upon after rising from the grave, she is the only woman I want to lay my eyes upon again. She didn't push me away. Said I was her handsome knight. We shagged right there on my grave.
I would have never even imagined doing something as lewd as that in public before, but now it doesn't matter. Nothing like social constraints matters to me anymore. Only Drusilla, blood, and revenge enter my mind now. Well shagging does have the tendency to enter as well.
I've spent the past fifteen days pondering what I've become, and of course spending a bit of time in the underworld, as I have wished to do before. I'm reforming myself. Slowly, yes, but into something greater just the same. Paired with my demon I will be unstoppable. The future holds nothing but greatness for me. I can see the trail paved by the blood of those who oppose me.
Angelus says I will get myself killed before long. He doesn't enjoy having another man around I suppose. He's the one that turned Dru. Drove her daft as well. He's taken it upon himself to teach me 'the ways' of being a vampire. Tries to make me stay cultured, but I've had enough of that in my life.
Darla is the last member of our little family. She made Angelus. The woman reminds me too much of Cecily for comfort. She is always looking at me with this distain, well when she's not completely ignoring the fact I exist. She's the oldest out of all of us, but she's weak. She's let Angelus dominate her, and that just rubs me the wrong way.
Despite all of that, I rather like having this 'family.' Makes me feel wanted I suppose. I cannot really tell why considering all but Dru treat me like I'm inferior. I'll prove them wrong someday though. And it will be someday soon, just you mark my words.
That reminds me. The name is Spike now. Dru said William wasn't a good enough name for her handsome knight. Lasher said he would rather have a railroad spike shoved through his head than have to listen to another one of my poems. I carry one with me now. For his sake, let's hope he doesn't meet me in a dark alley one night. ~Spike
