Nobody Said it Was Easy

- Guinevere -

A/N: As you are about to read, I've nixed "The Plan" due to your reviews and my own sinking feeling at the actual idea playing out. In my original idea, the plan wouldn't have lasted long anyway, but I'm going to get rid of it now, and still be able to do what I wanted. And hey, it got Luke and Lorelai together, if only in spirit, didn't it? : )

Disclaimer: Everyone belongs to the genius, if not somewhat misguided, A. Sherman-Paladino and Daniel Paladino, not me.

~*~*~

- 4 - Gifts From Home

It was October 31st and the Gilmores were watching 'You've Got Mail' in Lorelai the first's entertainment room. They had been to a video store to rent any and all ridiculously cheesy scary movies but found that the selection was decidedly slim, so they opted for a ridiculously cheesy chick-film fest instead. Currently, Meg Ryan was about to discover that Tom Hanks was indeed the man she had been exchanging e-mails and falling in love with.

"I love this part, it's so perfectly misguided," Lorelai sighed and glanced over at Rory who had begun to cry. "Hey, it's not that earth-shattering kiddo."

"Hormones," Rory guessed with a sniffle.

"Must be it," Lorelai agreed and put in another tape, 'He Said, She Said'. Sitting back down, she noted that Rory's tears hadn't ceased, so she pressed pause and slid over next to her daughter. "What's wrong, babe?"

"I miss him," Rory shook her head, as if trying to shake 'him' right out.

"Jess?" Lorelai presumed.

"I mean, I'm supposed to hate him, right? I told him I did, I told him I never wanted to see him again, but I think I loved him Mom."

"I think you did too, as much as I hate to say it, but look how he's treating you: he hasn't so much as attempted to communicate since you told him you were pregnant. What kind of guy would do that? Even your father was there for me."

"I don't know, maybe he's scared, or maybe he doesn't know what to do."

"That's no excuse. He could have at least called or wrote, or even had Luke ask about you, but nothing. Luke himself hasn't even heard from him since August."

"Maybe I should call him," Rory proposed.

"If that's what you want to do, but I think you'd just be wasting your time."

"Maybe so, but I think I should at least give him a chance. I owe him that much."

"You don't owe him anything."

"But he owes me, so why not try to get some of my dues?"

"Just don't expect much from him, Rory. And don't expect him to deliver." Lorelai couldn't dissuade her, so she had to give. She hoped, though, that Rory would decide to just leave things alone.

~*~*~

A few days later Rory had tracked Jess to his mother's in New York and decided to give calling him a try. On the fourth ring, the phone picked up. Expecting an answering machine to begin with an order, Rory readied her message.

"Hello?" a breathless male voice asked after a moment.

"Jess?" Rory asked.

"Yeah? Sorry, I heard the phone in the stairwell and ran as fast as I could. Who is this?"

"It's Rory."

Jess paused, thinking is words through carefully. "Hi," he said, not able to think of anything witty or appropriate.

"It's a boy, the baby I mean. I want to name him J.D., but I haven't found the exact names yet," Rory ventured nervously, looking for any sign of emotion or care.

"Salinger," Jess responded. He really was no good at phone conversations, as he had discovered over the past year. "That's cool."

Rory was more than slightly frustrated with his short responses. "I miss you," she tried at last, hoping any vestige of his feelings for her would finally show with this announcement.

"Me too, Rory, but I don't really know what you want me to do here. I am the least responsible person in the universe; I'd be the worst candidate for fatherhood you could ever possibly find."

"I'm not asking you to be a father, because I know it scares you – it scares me more than you know. I just want you to be there for me."

"I don't think I can Rory. At least not now."

"When, then? Tomorrow? In a year? You're child is coming out of me in two months and I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to figure this out on my own? You know, it takes two to tango, and I believe you were my partner in this dance until you ditched me. And for what? What great things are you doing?"

"I realize that's what it looks like to you, but I'm trying to make myself a better person, a person not like my father, but someone you and our kid can be proud of."

"How can he be expected to be proud of his father if he doesn't even know who he is?"

"I'm counting on you to tell him about me."

"Jess, that's not good enough. One parent cannot make up for two."

"Well, then, maybe you should have thought about that earlier and chosen a different path."

"Are you saying I should have never chosen you? Or are you suggesting that I should have had an abortion?"

"Maybe both. Hey, I have to go; I haven't got any more time to wrestle about this now. But call me, okay?"

"I don't think I want to," Rory said as a goodbye and hung up. She was beginning to wonder if Jess had ever been worth it.

~*~*~

Rory was watching 'When Harry Met Sally' for the third time that day when Lorelai turned off the tv and sat next to her. Now was as good a time as any to finally present the plan to her daughter.

"Hey, why did you do that? I was tapping into Billy Crystal's soul right there," Rory yelped, sitting up.

"I think you've watched enough tv for a lifetime, kiddo, and I want to talk to you. You know how you said you didn't know if you really wanted to raise J.D. and go to school?"

"I vaguely remember that conversation, yes. Why?"

"Well your grandmother and I have been hatching this evil scheme by which we would go back to Stars Hollow and tell everyone that J.D. was mine and you could go to Yale without reservation, come home on weekend and pretend he was your little brother. Luke has agreed to take on the role of 'Daddy' and your grandparents are going to foot the daycare bill while I get the Dragonfly ready. What do you think?"

Rory stared at her mother in dumbstruck awe. What on earth was she talking about, she wondered. "Huh?" was all she could muster while trying to get her brain around the absurdity of it all.

"We'll tell the world that your baby is really mine and then you won't have to worry about anything at all." Lorelai didn't understand why her daughter couldn't see the sheer brilliance of it all.

"The coffee must be really lacking potency here, because you are losing it Mother. You want me to tell everyone I've ever met that J.D. is in fact my brother and my mother and Luke are his parents? Why on earth would I do that? I'm not ashamed; I mean I was at first, but not anymore."

"I know you aren't but we were just thinking about what's best for you: start school second semester and not have to worry about J.D."

"I'd still worry about him. Your plan would work just as easily if I commuted to Yale and only took classes three days a week. J.D. could go to daycare on the days I'm in school, and on my off days I can have him. Why would you need to pretend to be his mother?"

Lorelai was beginning to see her plan from her daughter's point of view. "We just thought it would be easier for you if you lived there; you'd get more work done and not have to give up being a kid to raise a kid."

"I don't think I'd be giving up what I really wanted to do if I use my plan. And we really shouldn't confuse him with Mommy/sister stuff."

"I guess I see your point, it's just that I've spent so much time and energy on this, I don't want to give up too easily. But anyway, it's settled: no more of my wacky plan."

"Good," Rory agreed, rolling her eyes at her wacky mother and restarting the movie.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, your grandparents are coming here for Thanksgiving in a few weeks so if there's anything you're craving, I'll need a list."

"Mom, they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in England. You know, the whole Indians at the dinner table never happened here."

"I know that, but its Thanksgiving at home so we're going to celebrate the old fashioned way, turkey and all."

"Well if they're coming anyway, tell Grandma to bring some Twizzlers and macaroni and cheese. Oh, and definitely some Rolos, okay?"

"Twizzlers, mac and cheese and Rolos, got it. Oh, and these came for you in the mail earlier," Lorelai handed Rory a box and a few envelopes, which Rory proceeded to tear open.

"A letter from Paris, wanting to know how I like my extended stay in Europe and whether I'm coming back in January or not," Rory read, then moved onto the next item. "Dad, writing to say he likes J.D., but he doesn't know what I should use for actual names. Grandma, a copy of my last article. Lane, saying that the box is an early Christmas present to get me ready for my return to the States," Rory ripped the tape holding the box closed to reveal several cds, a few books and a video tape. "All-American Rejects, The Starting Line, AFI, The Ataris, and Rooney, The Nanny Diaries, the newest Fearless book, and East of Eden, plus a video tape of the first four episodes of '7th Heaven'," she showed off her gifts and scanned the track lists of the cds.

"Imports from the Mothership," Lorelai joked, then stood to return to her earlier occupation. "Promise me you'll turn off the tv and come outside when this is over, okay?"

"Okay," Rory agreed, already planning what to do next.

~*~ To Be Continued ~*~