Nobody Said it Was Easy

- Guinevere -

A/N: This one is pretty Jess-friendly, and that's all I've got to say, so I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: As if.

~*~*~

- 7 - Better Than I Remember

Three days after J.D. was born, he and his mother were discharged from the hospital. They went home to the Gilmore manor where Lorelai, Emily and Richard had hastily transformed the guestroom next to Rory's room into a nursery, complete with the requisite blue blankets. J.D. and his various parentage spent the next week getting acquainted, but the big happy family was to disband with Richard and Emily going back to Hartford in two days.

"You two are welcome to stay here for as long as you like, of course," Emily told Lorelai and Rory as an addendum to her departure announcement.

"I think it's time to go home, don't you Mom?" Rory asked, a surprise to all who thought she would want to stay as far away from home for as long as possible.

"Whatever you think is fine by me," Lorelai dodged, knowing Rory wanted her to immediately agree to going home.

"If I'm going to start school in January, we should go home with Grandma and Grandpa. And I think J.D. should have his first Christmas at home, not here in this stuffy mansion, as much as I love it."

"Okay then, that settles it," Emily decided. "You better start packing up everything; anything that won't fit, we'll ship back."

Lorelai packed boxes and duffel bags and suitcases to their capacity with clothes and books and all of the toys they had accumulated for J.D. while Rory sat with her son.

She held him in her arms and studied his features, trying to decide who he looked more like, already detecting the mannerisms of her two-week-old son. She could hardly believe that this child was her own, that she had created something so perfect.

"J.D.," she started talking to him while he just stared up at her. "I want you to know something right now, and I want you to remember it always. I love you more than anything in the entire world, and I've only known you for a couple of weeks. And your gram loves you and so do your great-gram and grandpa, and even your uncle Luke. I even think your dad will take a liking to you when he meets you, 'cause lord knows it's hard to hold a grudge against someone so perfect."

His eyes were drooping at the sound of his mother's voice, so Rory stood and placed J.D. in his crib, taking the opportunity to box up most of his new clothes and blankets. While sorting through the bureau, she noticed a small unopened cardboard box with the address of the manor written boldly across the top that must have come while she was in the hospital. She carefully peeled off the tape and looked inside to find a folded note, a yellow baby blanket, a pacifier and a small stuffed blue elephant. She opened the note that read:

Rory,

I suppose congratulations are in order, for you are now officially a 'Mommy' – which would, by default, make me a 'Daddy'. Strange thing to call myself when I haven't seen you in seven months, but alas, there's nothing I can do to change that now. You don't know how badly I wish that I had been there to see your stomach grow to the size of a basketball, to hold back your hair while you suffered from morning sickness, to read baby name books and argue over the true meaning of Nicholas or Daisy. I still can't say with absolute certainty what I am able to do, but I want you to know that I am here, even if you just need to talk. Although you, by now, know that I am horrible when it comes to words, so I hope that my sentiments will suffice.

I have two weeks of school left, and then I'll be in Stars Hollow for a month until the new semester starts. I hope that you and J.D. will be coming home soon so I can at least meet the one who has no choice but to be my son. Son. And now I have one. What a novel idea. I wish that you were here Rory, for so many reasons.

Love you,

Jess

For once, Jess knew exactly what Rory needed to hear. She would have to thank the maid that had put the box in the drawer when she did, or else Rory wouldn't have had it at that moment, to give her the tiniest shred of hope where Jess was concerned.

~*~*~

Lorelai, Rory and J.D. had been back in Stars Hollow for four days, buying food and baby formula, getting resettled into their normal life after spending a good six months in Europe. They had arrived at their house to find it considerably larger than when they last lived there. Upon further investigation, they discovered that Luke had built another bedroom off of Rory's to accommodate J.D. Though Lorelai offered to reimburse his generosity, he claimed that it was entirely his pleasure and to think of the expansion as a gift.

The town welcomed the Gilmores home as if they were reincarnated Greek Gods, though they were skeptical of J.D. until Miss Patty quite loudly stated in the middle of Luke's that children were a natural occurrence and that J.D. should be welcomed as a baby Jesus of sorts, there to save the town from the sheer monotony of itself. And when Miss Patty spoke, the town listened, jumping into the planning of an impromptu baby shower to be held this very afternoon.

While Lorelai, Miss Patty and the rest of Rory's adoring fans decorated the Gilmore homestead, Rory bundled up J.D., put him in his stroller and made her way to Luke's for some breakfast. With all the women townsfolk currently congregated in her living room, the diner was sparsely populated, but Rory welcomed the change, hoping she could hold Luke's attention for a little chat. She chose a table, extracted J.D.'s seat from the stroller and set him next to her, taking his hat and mittens off and admiring how quiet and calm he seemed.

"Rory, what can I get for you?" Luke called to her as he entered from the kitchen.

"Just eggs and toast, thanks. Oh, and some coffee, please. I've been living on decaf forever."

"As long as you've been off it, I wouldn't go back to the dark side. But I'll just let you decide that for yourself. What about him? Has he eaten?" he gestured toward J.D.

"Yeah, I fed him before I left. Tell Caesar what I want and come over and say hi. He's quiet today." The last time she and J.D. had been in the diner, he was wailing his head off.

Luke did as Rory suggested and pulled up a chair next to her, peering inside the seat, gently pulling the blanket down to admire his grand-nephew. He was unsure of himself, Rory noted, but Luke definitely had that parenting instinct. "He really does look like you," Luke noted.

"He's got my eyes, but that nose has got to be Jess'."

"I see that, now that you mention it. Speaking of which, 'Dad' will be on the late bus tonight, if you were wondering. He said something about having a final at one, but then he's off."

Rory tried to shrug this news off, but she was more than anxious to see Jess again after so long. "He's staying here until next semester starts?" she asked out of courtesy.

"Yeah, I figured he could help out with the holiday rush since his mom and her new boyfriend are taking up a lot of space."

"What about his job at that bookstore?"

"I guess he took a leave of absence. I think he really wants to try to smooth things over with you."

"Yeah, well I wish he'd just decide already what he wants."

"He'll come around, I'm sure of it. Look, your food's done, so I'll be right back."

"I hope so," Rory muttered to Luke's back.

~*~*~

The baby shower had gone off without a hitch and Rory now had more blue baby blankets than she could every possibly need in her entire life, along with a healthy supply of pacifiers after J.D.'s last showing at the diner. Lane had burned some cds of soothing-sounding classics that she claimed J.D. must be raised on for optimum brain development, and Sookie had made hordes of baby applesauce, a delicacy her own two-month-old Ian was hooked on. Her grandparents had shown up with an envelope for the start of J.D.'s own trip-to-Fez fund, and even Lindsay and Dean had come bearing a stuffed dog and a promise to baby-sit on any occasion.

Now Rory was huddled under five layers and two pairs of mittens waiting for the late bus to Stars Hollow to arrive. With the temperature dipping below twenty-five, Rory cursed herself for not waiting until the morning, but she was already there, so she decided to stick it out. In another five minutes, the bus should be arriving. Rory opened the book she had brought with her, Brave New World, and picked up where she had left off.

She glanced up at the sound of an engine to see the bus round the corner and pull up just beyond where she stood. A couple Rory vaguely remembered said 'hello' as the departed, and then there was a pause, tension building in the air as the door stood open, waiting for the last passenger. He lumbered down the stairs, hauled his bag through the door, then dropped it on the curb when he saw who was waiting for him. The bus closed its doors and pulled away while Rory looked at Jess and Jess picked a spot off in the distance to stare at while he formulated his thoughts.

"Hi," Rory finally said aloud, supposing she should get things going if she didn't want frostbite.

"Wow. Hi," he paused, then looked down at his hands. "I really didn't expect to see you."

"Neither did I you, but Luke told me you were coming, so I decided to get the worst of this ordeal over with right off the bat."

"The worst?" he asked, not catching her meaning.

"Yeah, the worst of this whole Rory-Jess back in the same town saga should really be played out in private, not in front of the whole town. Plus, I didn't want to agonize over running into you at any second, being caught off guard."

"So I got to be the one caught off guard? Not that I'm complaining, 'cause it's really good to see you, even with all the baggage."

"You too. You hair is shorter," she noted, taking a liking to the more clean cut, shorter spikes he had all over his head, much like when they first met.

"Yeah, needed a change. You, though, don't look any different."

"You only say that now, when you can't really see me."

"No, I actually think you look better than I ever remember. Come on, let's go inside Luke's; it's really cold out here."

Rory silently thanked a higher power and followed him across the street. She chose a stool while Jess turned on the coffee maker and took off his coat. Instead of sitting beside her, Jess leaned his elbows on the counter to face her. "This feels so weird," he said at last.

"I know," Rory sighed, relieved. "So how was your final?" she had decided from the beginning that she would let Jess start any conversation about J.D.

"Classic American Literature – I think I aced it. My professor was a real abstract thinker, so he got my unorthodox style. But I had this Calculus final the other day that completely kicked my ass." He brought over a steaming cup of coffee and placed it in front of Rory, then resumed his stance.

"I wasn't a big fan of Calculus. Altogether too many theorems to remember." She sipped the hot coffee with ease, thankful for something to warm her up.

"Exactly. So, when did you get home?" Jess was fidgeting, unable to ask what was really on his mind.

"A few days ago." Rory wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of being the first to mention their son.

"And how is it going so far? I mean, with the baby and all." Finally, he spit it out.

"It's hard to get used to having someone constantly wanting your attention, but it's been good."

"That's good. I hear he's got blond hair though, and your eyes."

"Yeah, what hair he does have is pretty light. You can meet him, if you want to," Rory offered.

"I think I'd like that. But really Rory, I'm not sure of anything right now, so don't expect anything out of it, okay?"

"I totally understand. Come on, if we hurry we might be able to catch him for his late night snack."

The two put their coats on, turned off the lights in the diner and set out toward Rory's house. To the unknowing eye, all looked to be back to normal, Rory and Jess reunited at last. And it would seem that way, but were these two ready to get back together? Was Jess ready to be a dad? And was Rory ready to let him?

~*~ To Be Continued ~*~