Nobody Said it Was Easy

- Guinevere -

A/N: Wow, I finally got this one ready to go. You know, I wonder if anyone else has the problem I do: you see, I wrote a few Dawson's Creek fics years ago and now, whenever I write Rory, I can only picture Joey saying the words. Is Rory like Joey? No, not really, so I guess it must be something twisted in my mind. Anyway, here it is, so enjoy.

Disclaimer: The Paladino's and the WB and all of them own everyone, except J.D.

~*~*~

- 8 - Make Up Your Mind and I'll Make Up Mine

Rory walked into her house with Jess close behind. She discarded her coat and sweater and lead Jess through her room into J.D.'s. Thankfully, her mother had already gone to bed when they arrived, so a Spanish Inquisition might be avoided. She motioned for Jess to be quiet in case J.D. was still asleep, then slowly leaned over his basinet. He was not sleeping, but he was about to be.

Rory pointed to the rocking chair across the room and Jess sat while she carefully picked J.D. up, wrapped a blanket around him and walked over to Jess. "You're pretty adept at that," he whispered.

"I guess. Hold on, I'll go get his bottle." She placed her son in his father's arms, then tiptoed to the kitchen.

Jess rearranged J.D. in his arms, uncertain of what to say or do. The baby opened his eyes, contemplated crying, but Jess started rocking back and forth, and J.D. just stared, as though waiting for him to say something.

"Hey, kiddo," he said finally, to which J.D. wiggled. "I'm Je-" he paused, then chose his words carefully. "I'm your dad." J.D. continued to stare, unimpressed. "Blink once if you understand." He looked to J.D. expectantly, but he only yawned heartily. "Okay then, I can deal with that. But I really am, your dad I mean. And here's your mom," Rory reentered and Jess half stood to pass J.D. off to her.

"You can feed him if you like," she offered, tested the temperature on her wrist, then handed the bottle over to Jess who had sat back down. Jess took the bottle, adjusted J.D. in his arms, then stuck it in his mouth, which J.D. gratefully accepted. Rory left the room again to get a towel for burping, and returned to stand in the doorway, admiring how this picture quite agreed with her.

"I think he may be done," Jess remarked, noting the bottle was near-empty.

"Here," Rory placed the rag on his shoulder, then helped him to situate J.D. in burping stance. "Just rub his back, circularly, and wait. "His usual is two good ones and a couple of small ones."

"You count his bodily functions?" Jess asked incredulously.

"I'm learning that there is a science to it all, if you must know. See, there's one, and two…two more and you're done."

He listened carefully, and when the fourth burp came, he nodded to Rory, then asked, "What now?"

"He's ready to go back to sleep. I'll take him and put him down." Rory placed J.D. in his bed, turned on the mobile her father had sent her, then waved for Jess to follow her. When they had reached the living room, Rory sat on the couch and Jess chose the chair opposite her.

"So?" Rory broke the silence that had become almost deafening.

"He's great," Jess replied. "I mean, it's hard to imagine that little person is a product of me, of you and I."

"Yeah, it is pretty unbelievable," Rory agreed.

"How is it that you can carry on a reasonable conversation with me after what I've put you through?"

"Because I have to, and because despite what the rule book says about jilted ex-girlfriends, I don't hate you; I actually quite like you in this light."

"And what light would that be?"

"The one with you sitting in my house, rocking J.D. The one where I can look you in the eye and try to read every emotion as it runs a marathon across your face."

"And what is my face saying to you right now?"

Rory searched his eyes, and found what she was looking for. "Jess Mariano, changing. Not sure of where his place is, what he's supposed to do because for once, no one is telling him his exact life plan, and he has choices, and that scares him. He's finally growing up and now it's crunch time, do or die, so he's got to step up to the plate or get out of the game. Am I right?"

"Pretty accurate, although I'd refrain from the baseball references."

"So would I, normally, but they seemed to fit in this case."

"I suppose. So tell me, Rory, what do you see as my future; what should my choice be?"

"I can't tell you that. I don't want to become part of the peanut gallery, shouting over your shoulder at your every move. I'd like, actually, to be a part of the action."

"Yeah, and I'd like you to be, I'm just not sure of what magnitude of participation I deserve to put you at."

"It's not about deserving, it's about you and me, what will work and what won't, plain and simple."

"I think I'll have to get back to you on that. It really is getting late and Luke's going to start flipping out, not to mention your mother might wake up, so I'll see you in the morning?" Jess stood and put on his coat.

"Breakfast, we'll be there." Rory followed him to the archway to say goodnight.

"Well, okay. I guess, until next time. 'Night." Jess leaned forward and placed the tiniest of kisses on her forehead before slipping out into the cold, dark night.

"Goodnight," Rory whispered after him before turning off the light and heading to her room where sleep had been long awaiting.

~*~*~

"So, missy, to whom did that male voice belong to last night?" Lorelai asked slyly as she and Rory pushed the stroller through town toward Luke's. She had no idea that Jess was due back in town, therefore she had no idea who could have bee in the living room with her daughter last night.

"Um, you probably don't want to know," Rory answered.

"Was it….Kirk? Dean? Dave? That tall red-headed kid from your freshman biology class? Luke? Come on, tell me who!" she whined, the perfect imitation of a spoiled brat.

"It was Jess," Rory said softly, steeling herself for a verbal thrashing for a) not telling her mother he was back, and b) for 'consorting with the enemy' as she called it.

"You let him in our house? And talked to him for over an hour? Why?"

"Well I met him at the bus stop, actually-"

"You pick up strange men from the bus stop and bring them into the house where your decrepit old mother and your son sleep?" Lorelai was only half joking.

"Yeah, it's quite a thrill for me. Anyway, we went to Luke's and were talking and J.D. came up so I offered to introduce father and son at J.D.'s eleven o'clock fridge raid. He fed J.D. and then we sat in the living room and talked. That is it, all there is to know about the whole encounter."

"Did you give him hell? 'Cause it didn't sound like it from my vantage point."

"What good would that do? None at all. Now can we drop this before we go inside?"

"Sure, but we're picking it right back up when we leave." Lorelai held the door open and Rory pushed the stroller through and to the nearest table. The two were silent until Luke came over demanding orders. "A huge, monstrous cup of coffee – actually, make it the whole pot," Lorelai told him. "And danish."

"And you Rory?" he asked. It was obvious to him that the two were in the middle of some kind of argument, so he thought it was best not to comment on the detriments of so much coffee drinking.

"Same, only add a couple of eggs on too."

"Be right back," he slipped away and into the kitchen where Jess was manning the grill while Caesar took a break. "Jess, she's out there, but I advise against leaving this room until she leaves. Lorelai is about to be on the warpath, and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with you."

"Fine by me. I honestly don't care if she's mad at me; she has always been mad at me, so nothing's changed."

"How did it go with Rory last night?" Luke had noticed his bag last night, but hadn't been able to locate him, so that could only mean one thing.

"Pretty well. I met J.D.; we played a little armchair psychology on the vast oddities of my brain."

"Discover anything? Come to any startling realizations while looking at your son?"

"Thoughts are formulating, ideas popping up from behind rocks, but nothing's firm yet. I'll get back to you."

"That would be good." Luke picked up the plates and returned to the Gilmore's table with their breakfast.

"Where's the coffee mister?" Lorelai called to him.

"Oh, it's coming, don't you worry." He placed two mugs full plus an entire pot in front of them, then left to take care of other hungry customers.

"Looks like he doesn't dare show his face," Lorelai commented to Rory.

"I don't blame him, especially if he knows you're here. And let's not talk about this here, okay?"

"This is as good a time as any, when he could pop out from behind that curtain and defend himself. Jess, we know you're back there. Come out and play," Lorelai spoke loudly in the direction of where Jess stood.

"Mom," Rory scolded quietly, not wanting to create a scene.

"No, Rory, I've held it in for you; I haven't gotten mad once, but now I'm through being the good cop and bad cop is looking more and more appealing. I'm going to say what the whole world wants to say to him, and then it will be over, finished, and we can get on with our lives once more."

Jess rounded the corner and put himself behind the counter, readying for what Lorelai would say as she walked over to him, Rory following with J.D. in her arms.

"So, Jess, you decided to rear your ugly head once more? Well it's not welcome, not after the way you treated my daughter. We won't even address the fact that you got her pregnant when any action in that department was expressly forbidden. No, my problem with you is that you are playing stupid, flip-flopping between maybe yes, maybe no.

"Well, I'm sorry pal, but you can't come around only when the mood strikes you. From here on out, it's all or nothing, and by that I mean you won't see J.D. if you choose nothing. Rory did okay without Chris being around all the time, but that's 'cause she had surrogate dad Luke and an entire town watching over her. But I saw how it killed her, not hearing from him for months, and J.D. won't be raised that way, not while I'm around. And that's all I've got, so now I'm leaving." Lorelai grabbed her coat, tossed some money on the table and left.

"I'm sorry about her," Rory apologized to Jess and the rest of the diner.

"Don't worry about it. She just said aloud what I've been yelling to myself. If you want to go after her, I'll watch him," Jess offered.

"Really?" she could hardly believe it. He nodded and she passed J.D. over the counter to Jess, grabbed her coat and ran.

"What a mess I've made," Jess muttered to J.D. who only gurgled in agreement.

~*~*~

Rory didn't know where to look first, so she just walked around town, looking in every nook and cranny. When it finally occurred to her where to go, she broke out in to a run as fast as she could. She mounted the steps of the burnt out Independence Inn and pushed open the door. Her mother was sitting behind the front desk, her head resting on her hand, reading an old guestbook.

"Mom," Rory began and she looked up, slightly startled, but said nothing. "I asked you not to say anything, and you went ahead and yelled at him in front of half the town."

"I know, and I'm really sorry babe, but it had to be done. Maybe not like that, but yes, it had to be done."

"No, it really didn't. This whole thing is between him and me. You're entitled to your opinion, but in this case you should have kept it to yourself. He's trying to think things over, get his head around it all and you are only making it harder."

"Why should you wait for him to decide how much of a dad he wants to be? You didn't have that choice. And, he's had quite long enough to 'get his head around it all'. Tell me why you keep waiting, hoping he'll say yes, I want to be a full-time dad."

"Because I love him, and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt until he definitely proves me wrong."

"I know that, but there has to be a point where you say enough is enough already and move on with or without him. I know I'm not the best one to tell you that, what with my history with Chris, but at least now I know that's what I should have done."

"Well how about if I give him until New Year's to make his decision? Will that satisfy you?"

"The only thing that will satisfy me is him on a bus out of town, but to answer your question, yes, I can go along with that."

"And you'll apologize for yelling at him?"

"You're pushing it, kid."

"Mom, he can't be all that bad; he offered to watch J.D. while I came to look for you."

"Just don't ask for too much, okay?"

"Okay." The two shook on it, a silent agreement, then left the Inn to collect J.D. and go home. They would simply lay in waiting for Jess to make up his mind.

~*~ To Be Continued ~*~